Suppose George W Bush went to Baghdad ??

[kentuck]

And while on the way from the airport, his security detail simply disappeared. There was no one there to protect him. So he panics! He starts running and yelling for his "loyalists"? But no one answers. He is alone in the middle of Baghdad. But he is discovered by a friend of Ahmed Chalabi and he tells Bush that he can take him to where he will be safe. Bush asks for a phone? "No, no phone calls", he is told. What would he do? :-)

What would be the end of this story??

[eleny]

1. He starts begging for a horse?

:shrug:

[Warpy]

2. He'd puff his chest out and strut, giving orders

until the very end, unable to come to terms with the fact that he's not controlling the terms of his life any more.

He really is clueless, you know. It's a function of his class.

[Tippy]

3. Great analysis...I was gonna say, he would take his money and put him on a bus

Well I did actualy say it...wouldn't do any good to take his ID...everyone would recognize him right off....and run the other way...

[kentuck]

4. deleted...

May be taken the wrong way?

[jwirr]

5. He goes down on his knees sobbing and begging for help. Chalabi

turns in disgust, walks away muttering "and to think I thought this wimp could help me become leader of this forsaken country!"

[Nevernose]

6. Probably talk his way into a terrorist cell leadership position

Probably talk his way into a terrorist cell leadership position, maybe even talk a few kids into being suicide bombers (while bravely mismanaging operations from well behind the front lines). He'd take credit for any successes, blame rival tribes for any fuck-ups, and be frequently photographed by CIA operatives landscaping for no apparent reason (I wonder how you say "clearing out the brush" in Arabic?).

Eventually friends of his father buy Al-Jazeera, and angry men with the intellectual acumen of a fire hydrant begin glorifying Muhammad al-Bush to viewers with even less intellectual acumen. Claiming that, since his father owns oil companies there, he has always been from he Middle East, al-Bush is appointed president of Iraq by a military tribunal. Bush promptly declares war on the perfidious nation of Africa; Iraqi marines soon storm the beaches of Cambodia, and he is genuinely surprised that the troops were not greeted as liberators. He is, however, curious as to why there are no black people in Cambodia.

Instead of facing a trial for war crimes, he retires to Maine, where he spends his remaining days building monuments to himself (in the form of libraries and museums) and paying other people to write nice things about him. He dies, goes to Hell, and reports back to Earth that he's "looked into Lucifer's eyes, and liked what he saw there. Good man. Trustworthy." Bush proceeds to rig elections in Hell, is appointed new Prince of Darkness by friends of his dad, and somehow manages to fuck that up, too.