What do you think is a fitting epitaph for the human species?

[tom_paine]

As the possibility of the extinction of the human species grows, I find myself thinking of what should be carved in 100 foot high letters on the Redwall of the Grand Canyon as our tombstone, which will remain for the alien anthropologists to come and see when they explore the ruins of our short-lived species.

FULL DISCLOSURE: I stole this idea from the late Kurt Vonnegut in his book, "Hocus Pocus", which is as apt a description of Imperial Amerika under Bush Occupation as any, on a sociological level.

Vonnegut's epitaph: "We could have saved it (Planet Earth), but we were too cheap and lazy."

Much as I like that one, as time goes by I think is is not fully apt. After all, Planet Earth will go on long after our species is gone. It is very likely that, millions of years from now, the environment restored to a natural cycle of balance and perhaps most of the carbon we dug up and vaporized may be sequestered beneath the Earth's surface again, it may be that yet another species develops sentience and intelligence.

So, it's not so much about saving Planet Earth as it is about saving ourselves. Thus, I started to think about what would be a better, more accurate epitaph that we could carve into the Redwall of the Grand Canyon.

Here's what I came up with:

The psychopaths put the gullible into harness like mules, and drove our species off a cliff.

Yes, I know it isn't as catchy as Vonnegut's, but then I am no Vonngeut. Who among us is?

That's my epitaph for our species...what's yours?

[Cirque du So-What]

1. 'We entrusted our fate to a gaggle of fools'

Again, not as catchy as Vonnegut's, but true.

[zeos3]

2. How about this one?

Was it ignorance or apathy that killed us? I don't know and I don't care.

[tom_paine]

5. That is EXCELLENT! Wish I'd thought of it.

:toast:

[zeos3]

102. Can't take credit

I saw it as a quote somewhere, can't remember where or whom, and it stuck with me. I just modified it a bit for our purposes.

[dipsydoodle]

3. You fucked up bigtime

.

[eShirl]

4. "FAIL"

[ashling]

6. The Party's Over - Good Night & Good Luck

[anniebelle]

7. "Four legs good, Two legs bad" n/t

[Echo In Light]

14. Douple Plus Un-Good

[awoke_in_2003]

121. ...but some are more equal than others. nt

[hellbound-liberal]

8. "We came. We saw. We went shopping."

I offer this based on the observation that "a society that is based on consumption will consume itself". In the future, if the United States is the model for the "developing" world, we might be in big trouble.

[PDJane]

9. sigh.........

We tried to play God, but we weren't bright enough.

[Delphinus]

10. Ooh,

such an inviting question.

It's too early in the morning for me to think of this, but I'll come back later with what I think it should be.

Thank you!

[bean fidhleir]

11. I think Prof. Diamond's summation is very apt, though not pithy

(lightly paraphrased)"The people in power, rather than comprehending and responding to crises, remain fixated on the short-term priorities of enriching themselves, building monuments, waging wars, and extracting sufficient food from the peasants to support their ostentatious lifestyles."

[ladjf]

12. "The human race was a killing machine that eventually killed itself."

[Echo In Light]

13. Never underestimate the power of denial

[LiberalPersona]

15. "Earth conquered us" nt

[JNelson6563]

16. Brevity is the soul of wit, here's mine.

Idiots.

[tom_paine]

41. LOL. I am reminded of "The Good, The Bad and the Ugly"

Where Tuco and The Man With No Name are looking for Angel Eyes after they have killed all his henchmen.

They get to the hideout and find Angel Eyes gone already, though he left a note that Tuco tries to read, but he don't read so good.

"S...se...see you soon i...i...id...idi..."

The Man With No Name breaks in and says, "Idiots. It's for you."

(cue awesome Sergio Leone music: Ahhh eeey ahhh eeey ahhh, waaah waah wah)

[johnaries]

104. Or for Asimov fans, "Silly Asses".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silly_Asses

[PetrusMonsFormicarum]

17. Monkeys hurling shit

As chimps we hurled shit. As humans we hurled depleted-uranium, biochemical, nuclear shit.

It's still just shit.

which brings to mind another:

Men, they spend the first few moments of life leaving, and the rest of their lives trying to get back inside.

[HereSince1628]

18. Couldn't stop picking at it.

always picking at it it

the source of ethnic and racial tension
the source of war
the source of over-extraction of minerals
the source of habitat degradation
the source of bio-simplification

in short the source of the un-weaving of this web of life.

[fasttense]

19. Here's my epitaph - Greed kills. n/t

[lame54]

20. we saw it coming

[LeftishBrit]

21. I think the one from Flanders and Swann...

The Brontosaurus had a brain no bigger than a crisp.
The Dodo had a stammer and the Mammoth had a lisp.
The auk was just too awkward, now they're none of them alive,
Each one, like man, had shown himself unfitted to survive.
Their story points a moral now it's we who wear the pants;
The extinction of these species holds a lesson for us ants.

[beac]

83. Aww.. thanks for the great memory, LeftishBrit.

My parents had "The Bestiary of Flanders & Swann" album and I grew up listening to it. Hadn't thought about it in years though.... :)

Oh, Ostrich consider how the world we know
Is trembling on the brink.
Have you heard the news, may I hear your views,
Will you tell me what you think.
The Ostrich lifted its head from the sand,
About an inch or so;
'You will please excuse, but disturbing news
I have no wish to know.'


Yup, those gents really knew what they were talking about when it comes to human nature.

[Echo In Light]

22. The Happening {M. Night Shyamalan}

M. Night Shyamalan's apocalyptic tale:

http://www.thehappeningmovie.com/

[dysfunctional press]

23. we gassed ourselves to death.

nt

[H2O Man]

24. Fliers delivered

by 3rd class mail.

[The2ndWheel]

25. We could not continue, and we could not stop

[guitar man]

26. here's one

I want it all,I want it all,I want it all, and I want it NOW.....oops!!

[lpbk2713]

27. "I told you I was sick."

... but we just wouldn't listen.


:eyes:

[mitchum]

28. "Brought to you by apes with delusions of grandeur"

[Holly_Hobby]

29. Don't mess with Mother Nature n/t

[UTUSN]

30. Much ado about nothing. or, So goeth drama queens. n/t

[cloudythescribbler]

31. "We could have saved it -- but we worked too hard for & payed too much to the powers that pee -- "

Cravenness, not laziness and cheapness by us folk are the problem.

[Annces]

32. The Small Get By

or the Humble shall inherit the earth.

I don't think we are a big mistake. We have a lot of tailoring to do.

[ColbertWatcher]

33. Never evolved into better swimmers fast enough. n/t

[Z_I_Peevey]

34. Failed to ascend.

But hey, I'm optimistic today. How about just "Ascended."

[Uncle Joe]

35. Contrary to popular belief, greed wasn't good. n/t

[Cerridwen]

36. "Here lie the disruptors...

They disrupted...poorly"



edit to add ellipses

[L. Coyote]

37. All Hive, No Mind!

[Auggie]

38. "We Stopped Evolving"

[kentuck]

39. We came. We saw.

We shat upon it.

[hunter]

40. "In God we Trust"

:hide:

[FiveGoodMen]

75. There you go!

That gets my vote.

[slackmaster]

42. They took a lot of shit, and gave a lot of shit

:hi:

[slampoet]

43. "You Gonna Finish Those Chilli Fries?"

Or "Good Help is hard to find when you have to hire your cousin."

[MountainLaurel]

44. This Native American quote

When all the trees have been cut down,
when all the animals have been hunted,
when all the waters are polluted,
when all the air is unsafe to breathe,
only then will you discover you cannot eat money.
~ Cree Prophecy ~

[tom_paine]

47. That is so very apt. I read an interesting book that posited this theory

That many Native American culture have cultures and beliefs that are deeply respectful of the Earth's environment.

The theory goes that, prior to the crossing of the Bering Land Bridge by Native Amerians 10,000-18,000 years ago, America had a HUGE menagerie of megafauna, much larger than Africa's. (this is not theory, this is paleontological fact) When Native Americans came over, such as those that made the Clovis points, basically they extincted the megafauna for the usual reasons.

In either case, the megafauna became extinct not very long after human reached America's shores, a couple thousand years at most. Whether it was fully the result of being hunted to extinction by humans or climate change or some combination fo both, the theory is that the devastation ofthe megafauna lived on in current native American cultures, cosmologies, and beliefs.

I don't know whether that is true or not, but it certainyl is an interesting theory. And the massive amounts of megafauna as well as their disappearence shortly after the arrival of humans, certainly lends credence to the theory.

Of course, as a scientist I am compelled to remember that correlation doesw not necessarily equal causation. But still, an intersting theory nonetheless.

[pitohui]

71. i read that in addition to over hunting humans carred diseases to which megafauna lacked resistance

i can't give a cite now, maybe i read it in some museum

i think there are places, such as in france, where it is apparent that stone age peoples drove entire herds off cliffs and just cherry picked the best portions of meat, no wonder there is not so much megafauna in europe for example

presumably more difficult to make this work here, i am unable to figure out how entire herds of swamp/dwarf rhinoceros could have been killed in southeast louisiana just by brute force, so i do believe the disease vector theory must have some merit

[defendandprotect]

57. Beautifully said . . . !!!

I find no problems with the notion of uninventing the dollar bill ---

And am always amused at people's concept of an "economy" as something mysterious, as though

it is not designed to move wealth and assets from the many to the few --- !!!


Common Sense was defeated by the patriarchal god -- "Manifest Destiny" and "Man's Dominion Over

Nation" --- huge B.S.

[mmonk]

45. Here lies dumbass

[LanternWaste]

46. "Here Lies the Human Race...

"Here Lies the Human Race...
Because We All Wanted to Come in First Place"

?????-2077

[ensho]

48. 'the men caused it - the women and children suffered the most'

nt

[Indenturedebtor]

51. Yes because women don't consume anything

Anyways...

How about

"You gonna eat that?"

"I went to Rapture and all I got was this stupid Tombstone."

[HughBeaumont]

49. We Didn't Think. Therefore, We Aren't.

[FiveGoodMen]

76. Another great one!

[rdenney]

114. Nice!

[tuckessee]

50. "Ruled to Death" n/t

[Evoman]

52. "if you can read this, you will end up the way we did."

[Wiley50]

53. "TOO MANY BABIES " or " TOO MUCH FUCKING CAN KILL" n/t

[femrap]

67. I'm always saying 'Stop fucking...

we have too many people as it is.'

[tom_paine]

82. No way. We don't have to stop fucking.

We need to stop having so many kids.

[femrap]

89. Wear a Condom! nt

[opihimoimoi]

54. Humanity::: Rejected Sanity/Reality...went for Fantasy

[defendandprotect]

55. No . . . the planet will not necessarily go on turning . . .

After all, Planet Earth will go on long after our species is gone

I also took that for granted for a while, however it isn't something we can take for granted.


The weather upheavals are going to be severe -- extreme --

Damage to the planet is more likely than not ---

Also, the NY Times reported over a dozen years ago that scientists have found that the dams

and reservoirs our Army Corps of Engineers built over the last 60 years "are impacting the

rotation of the earth" --

Nor has this planet been secure on its axis --


Do we also think that decades of exploding atomic bombs in wars and in "tests" -- and any

future accident -- would leave the planet whole--??


Who knows what may result from the extremes of weather coming ---


I think Vonnegut summed it up quite well --- are we lazy or are we just plain suicidally stupid?

I'm not sure about that ---

But our failure to control the violence of the few among us has brought us this disaster --

Just also as something that I think women tend to think about more ---

what if all the "oil" we removed is the earth's ballast --- ???

[tom_paine]

58. I think it's more likely, based on the theory I have read, that the oil is not so much ballast

as the result of billions of years of evolution, not just of life-forms, but of the climate to get to this stable plateau we have been enjoying that has likely made civilization and "higher intelligence" possible.

Think about it: For most of the Earth's history, CO2 has been much higher than the 180-280 range than was in the preceding 650,000 years. The ocean's current state, mixed by temperature differentials and melting /refreezing ice that generates the Global Ocean Conveyor, is one which, as I understand, has not been common throughout history. The common being the anoxic ocean or the toxic Canfield ocean.

As I understand it, our petroleums comes from the nasty putrid, poisonous soup that was the Canfield-type Ocean known as the Tethys, when all continents were fused together as Pangea. That putrid poisonous soup, stagnant too, generated the masses of overgrown algae that eventually sunk to the bottom and formed today's petroleum. The dead center of the Tethys is now the Ghawhar Oil Field, and in general, the Middle East.

Not that I am saying your isn't an interesting thought, just not mathematically likely when one weighs the mass of oil vs. the mass of the Earth. I am not dismissing your thought, certainly it's possible that somehow the earth's rotation is somehow threatened by oil drilling, especially if you add in the data on ams affecting the Earth's rotation already.

Do you have a link to that article or the data? I would love to read it.

I am only suggesting another hypothesis. If indeed life on Earth has been evolving with the purpose of forming higher and higher intelligences, and Earth is a Gaian superorganism, then is it not possible that the climate, after much evolving and wild climate swings, from snowball earth to eocene polar jungles, finally arrived at the condition required to bring forth that next level of higher intelligence?

If so, then what that means is that we are de-evolving the climate, which may then require another long-term Canfield-type ocean (toxic to humans, I seriously doubt any human population could exist on a planet with Canfield oceans) to "re-evolve" and get that carbon back in the ground so the ocean could eventually return to mixed and the climate return to conditions in which the next species in line can evolve higher intelligence and civilization.

Just a thought. Thanks for your interesting post that provoked that thought, and if you have a link to the article or the data about dams and the Earth's rotation, I would be very appreciative if you posted it here.

[defendandprotect]

60. Human ignorance seems to be our main problem -- coupled with arrogance --

Do you have a link to that article or the data? I would love to read it.

Sorry the article on the DAMS was probably more than ten years ago -- but front pages of NY Times,
not Science section. Very brief and pretty much saying what I related. However, after and around
that time you may recall there was a lot of discussion about knocking out the dams . . . for many,
many reasons -- though I never heard anyone say again anything about them "impacting the rotation of the planet" as a reason.

But the idea that we cannot harm nature in dangerous ways is a foolish one and that's an idea
pretty much sold by patriarchal religions' "Manifest Destiny" and "Man's Dominion Over Nature."
They're suicidal theories, just as patriarchy is.

I don't think it matters how the OIL came to exist on the planet --
it is the REMOVAL which is my concern.
Like the melting glaciers -- it is the absence of them which will matter to us.

We seem to have gotten a jump start somewhere along the line -- we may be hybrids.
Using the term "higher intelligence" or even "intelligence" in connection with our species
seems oxymoronic.

The compounding of conditions may also trigger an axis shift which has previously been the
subject of conversation re Global Warming.

Thanks also for your observations --

[NoGOPZone]

56. Damn you all to hell?

Seem to work pretty well for Charlton Heston in POTA.

[Prisoner_Number_Six]

59. God made the wrong choice-

He should have kept the dinosaurs instead.

[defendandprotect]

61. Didn't that "god" give patriarchs "Manifest Destiny" and "Man's Dominion Over Nature" . . . ???

two suicidal theories for the human race and the planet ---

[tom_paine]

63. If God exists, She sure didn't write that bullshit.

Quite clearly, people did. Men did.

[defendandprotect]

65. We agree -- !!!

[The Stranger]

62. "Ecce Homo."

-Nietzsche

Or how about --

"Am I my brother's keeper?"

-Cain

[cynatnite]

64. Our epitaph will be the white guys at Rushmore...

They say it'll last thousands of years after our civilization is long gone.

[tom_paine]

66. "What the hell is that thing on Roosevelt's face?"

Will alien anthropologists picking over the ruins understand the pince-nez?

I know I don't.

:evilgrin:

[Delphinus]

101. Mount Rushmore will be our own

Easter Island!

[Hell Hath No Fury]

68. "They were smart, just not very bright."

For all the computers and iPods and atom splitting and space travel we still can't get the basics right. :(

[sicksicksick_N_tired]

69. They had the capacity to create heaven or hell,...and chose hell. nt

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

70. "You Can't Say We Didn't Have It Coming"

[conspirator]

72. "We spent most of our lifes closed in boxes 9 to 5, some 9 to 6. All for what?" n/t

[FatDave]

73. "I win again." -Earth

[smoogatz]

74. Six million years of evolution

and all I got was this crappy iPod.

[klyon]

77. We predicted our demise and then made it happen

what came first the words or the deeds
we drew a picture and then made it real
are we so stupid to believe that end is inevitable because someone said so
religion has much to answer for

[cliffordu]

78. Too fucking stupid to survive.

[redwitch]

79. "Oh, them? Thought they'd NEVER leave!"

:-(

[Mz Pip]

80. So long! And thanks for all the fish.

:-)

[seemslikeadream]

81. and in eternity are no more than bacteria upon a lumious slide

As for the human case generations of men come and go and in eternity are no more than bacteria upon a lumious slide and the fall of a republic or the rise of an empire so signifcant to those involved is not dectiable upon the slide even with their an interested eye to behold that steadily proliferating species which will either end in time or with luck become something else since change is the nature of life and it's hope


Gore Vidal

The Golden age

http://youtube.com/watch?v=USOVhmkdkFw&feature=user

[Jack Rabbit]

84. A species too smart for its own good

[Sabriel]

85. Veni, Vidi, Vanished n/t

[beac]

86. "The unspeakable, who foolishly pursued the uneatable."

(with apologies to Oscar Wilde)

[Psyop Samurai]

87. They faithfully observed decorum...

...and reacted against those who tried to commandeer the bus.

They waited for confirmation on TV.

[MedleyMisty]

88. Hmmm

What we feared, we created.

To escape hell after death, we created hell during life.

Our fear of death led us to kill ourselves.

Gah - I want to write one about the battle between fear and love and how fear won, but I can't think of anything flowy and concise enough. Okay, how about a paragraph then?

We looked into the sun and could not bear it. Trembling, we went back into the cave and embraced the false safety of darkness, forgetting all we ever knew of light and love.

Abuse is a cycle that can kill species.

Here's one just for fun.

It's those damn iPods! And iPhones! And the company is even named Apple! Damn serpent, entrapping us with its seductive aural pleasures, promising sweet musical love and giving only the ultimate exit from Eden.

[dysfunctional press]

90. fuck you. you're so smart- you figure it out.

nt

[Mr_Jefferson_24]

95. .

:rofl:

Best by far and away -- thanks, Shakespeare

[azmouse]

91. It was fun while it lasted.

[east texas lib]

92. Once many, now none.

[Annces]

93. these are all great - thanks for the thread n/t

[Mr_Jefferson_24]

94. Humanity -- a species of great potential via an immensely strong...

... and impressive intellect, but alas, poor humans, this intellect would prove no match for their evolutionary programming -- RIP.

[MedleyMisty]

96. Interesting way of looking at it

When I look at humans, I don't see any signs of impressive intellect.

But maybe that's because I take our advances in the last couple of centuries for granted because it's what I know?

[Mr_Jefferson_24]

98. I guess I make that observation based on...

...comparison to all the other Earthly species we know of.

But you're right, if you look only at humans without making the comparison to other species, "immensly strong and impressive intellect" are not the first words that come to mind.

[The Inquisitive]

99. I agree

As a species we're constantly struggling to overcome our evolutionary programming, and our intellect is both the reason and means behind it.

[Octafish]

97. We Sat on Our Ass and Ran Out of Gas

Or:

We Realized Too Late That We Were the Most Powerful Force in Our Lives.

As you said, tom_paine, only Vonnegut could have written Breakfast of Champions.

[Phred42]

100. See ya - Wouldn't wanta Be ya

[mtf80123]

103. Destroyed are their germinal seeds...

selfish desires no longer grow.

"Theory of Karma"
~ Ven. Mahsi Sayadaw"






"insert member "seemslikeadream's" graphic above here"

[Runcible Spoon]

105. HEY Y'ALL WATCH THIS!

:nuke:

[Swamp Rat]

106. No trace of our existence will remain after a few hundred millennia.

Humanity will be gone, our atoms scattered to infinity.

Epitaphs are irrelevant.

[mtf80123]

107. Epitaphas are irrelevant... that is true.

_/|\_

[tom_paine]

108. Killjoy.

:evilgrin: :hi:

[mtf80123]

109. Dupe

delete

[Swamp Rat]

110. LOL!

My subatomic particles will remember your subatomic particles after infinity. :D :hi:

[tom_paine]

113. LOL, do you remember the old Socrates Libation Question from HS Chemistry?

It goes something like this, Swampie me old cog.

In 400-something BC, every year Socrates poured out a flask of wine onto the ground as part of a ceremony. The flask of wine contained 1 Liter, or to put it another way (4 x 10 to 23rd power) molecules.

If we assume between then and now, a 100% diffusion and dispersal of that wine poured out of the ground, given that our bodies have an average of (5 x 10 to 25th power) molecules in them and also the sum total of all molecules on Earth is (8 x 10 to the 43rd power).

How many molecules from Socrates Libation (one year's worth, I might add) are in each of us?

The answer: about 800 molecules or so.

The cool thing about this question is...it's real. It is extremely likely that each of us are carry a molecule or two, at least...some less and some more or much more...from Socrates' Libation.

Wild, eh?

[Swamp Rat]

115. No wonder I always feel high.

:D According to Mel Brooks in "History of the World," they also smoked wacky weedus back then too. :smoke:

[Ellipsis]

111. Gaea rids itself of carbon based parasites.

[krispos42]

112. "Okay, maybe the market won't solve EVERYTHING"

[Snarkturian Clone]

116. Here lies Planet Cancer. It heals itself by

applying extreme heat to the effected area.

[Phentex]

117. We Have Met the Enemy and He Is Us

*sigh*

[dweller]

118. 100 foot high letters?

in that case: SELF IMPORTANT TO THE END


dp

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

119. Greetings, alien explorers:

We are buried and returned to dust

All our works have gone to rust

Not much remains of our existence.

Have fun with the silicone breast implants.

Burma (or Myanmar) Shave

[windoe]

120. They Thought They Were Special n/t