Ted Nugent to publish his "Manifesto". " Obama is the illegitimate son of Mao Tse-tung."

[Bluebear]

Kerrrazy. Certifiable.

=====

Ted Nugent has the formula for the perfect life, or so he’ll tell you as he spends an afternoon loading machine gun magazines in his Waco, Texas, home with his dog at his side, using a little downtime before he hosts a barbecue with war veterans he reveres...

“People are shackled by political correctness,” he says in a phone interview.

Hitting shelves (in August) is his book “Ted, White & Blue: The Nugent Manifesto,” which will outline the “spiritual orgy” that is his lifestyle...

The time for debate is a little bit over, Obama. You don’t allow me to carry a gun, but you’re gonna send me the bill for your armed security detail? Gee, that rubs me the wrong way. Why don’t we just sit down and discuss how you have the audacity as an equal human being to dictate to me that I will be unarmed and helpless, but I have to pay for your armed security detail? Boy, I betcha a little discussion would work out there.

You know, it’s like seeing a bunch of Nazis making lampshades out of little boys’ and little girls’ skin. Well, gosh, we should probably sit down with that funny mustached man and see if we can’t reason with him. There’s a time for a handshake and a time for a bullet between the (expletive) eyes...

“Boy, I couldn’t be more independent. John McCain is a joke. Obama is the illegitimate son of Mao Tse-tung. And I don’t even know what Hillary is. She’s not even the same species as I am. Everybody I know cannot in the deepest realms of their imagination expect a government to provide jack squat for us. And we pity the soulless punks who line up behind Hillary, Obama, and John McCain and snivel and whine while they smoke their cigarettes and buy their bling-bling going, ‘Heh heh, can’t make ends meet.’ See, I have to pass 800 help-wanted signs to pick up my welfare check.”

http://www.bakersfield.com/142/story/468250.html

[YOY]

1. Ted can go Tango with his Wango.

That's all I have to say about Ted.

[BlooInBloo]

2. How does he find time to write all of that?

I mean there's so many young girls out there he wants to molest.

[babylonsister]

3. Coming soon to a dollar store near you. nt

[B.S. Lewis]

4. "I will be unarmed and helpless"

Does anyone else see the irony of men like this simultaneously acting really macho and saying things like this which betray how afraid they are of...something? Everything?

Very weird.

I'm not that big on gun laws, for the record, but it doesn't mean I can't spot a gun nut when I see one.

[RoseMead]

31. The Day Ted Nugent Killed All the Animals

The day Ted Nugent killed all the animals
The day Ted Nugent killed all the animals
He did it so he could bond with his male friends
He did so they could broadcast it on ESPN
And when the news hit the wire Green peace activist where crying in they’re hankies
They hadn’t heard anything so awful since the first record by Damn Yankees
It was the day Ted Nugent killed all the animals
The day Ted Nugent killed all the animals

Imagine that, the motor city mad man in your backyard stalking your cat; scratch fever.

And Bob Barker cried
And Ricki Lake tried to save them
Noah turned right around in his grave
And they were all dead
But he was still Ted

He did with his bow in hand
Sitting up North in the open air
He did it for the Michigan Militia
He did it for Fred Bear
It was the day Ted Nugent killed all the animals
The day Ted Nugent killed all the animals

Cause he had so much respect for wildlife
He started tipping over goldfish bowls and chasing Bambi’s mom with a knife
Which is the equivalent to having so much admiration for an art museum
That you burn all the paintings as soon as you see them
It was the day Ted Nugent killed all the animals
The day Ted Nugent killed all the animals

Raccoons get in the Garbage
(Kill ‘em)
Baby seals are too cute
(Kill ‘em)
Squirrels, yum
(Kill ‘em)
Orangutans, wang dang that Orangutan
(Kill ‘em)

He killed them all, big and small
So he could put their heads up on his wall
It was the day Ted Nugent killed all the animals

- Wally Pleasant

[LeftyMom]

46. I can't find it on youtube anymore, but here's a little song about our buddy Ted.

Fuck...ahhhha
Fuck...ahaaha
Fuck....ahahh
Fuck...ahhhha
Ye-hay...
Fuck Ted Nugent he's a fucking jerk
I wish that he'd be gone
Chauvanistic Republican, kills animals
He forgot how to write a song
He's a dick!
Fuck him!
Asshole!
Fuck him!
Fuck Ted Nugent, and fuck the NRA
And fuck their attitude
He thinks riding a buffalo and wearing Oakleys
Will make him look real cool
He's a dick!
Fuck him!
Asshole!
Fuck him!
He thinks he'll get the girls
By killing little squirrels
Jennifur Lopez
Fur-wearing fucking twat
She likes to eat dead cow
She thinks its cool to wear eyelashes of dead foxes
Cuz she thinks it hides the pounds
Shes a bitch!
Fuck her!
Asshole!
Fuck her!
She's a bitch!
Fuck her!
Asshole!
Fuck her!
One more time
Fuck Ted Nugent!

lyrics stolen from: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/g/goldfinger/ftn_20202066.html

[Bluebear]

47. Everybody, now! "Fuck ...ahhhha.. .Fuck. ..ahaaha..."

:hi:

[RoseMead]

48. Ooh, that's a good one too. :) n/t

[Sheets of Easter]

5. "Hello, Ted?? This is Relevance! Where you been, dude??!!!"

[B.S. Lewis]

6. oops double post

:(

[lame54]

7. "Ted, White & Blue"...

:rofl:
That's awesome

[NightWatcher]

8. so "this guy's" now qualified to wax politics

[FredScuttle]

36. Check out the cover of his latest release

If there's one word to describe the Nugent philosophy in album covers, it is class. And taste. Two words to describe...

[JHB]

9. And Ted's the love child of Reagan and Bonzo (True Fact!)

It explains so much...

[mmonk]

10. Ted Nugent is an illegitimate human being and escaped mental patient.

[Clark2008]

11. So a pedophile has the right to call others names, now?

:eyes:

[frylock]

12. change your diaper, ted..

you fuggin stink.

[wtmusic]

13. Symptoms of advanced cat scratch fever. nt

[jakem]

14. well, i dont think we can reason with old Ted...

"There’s a time for a handshake and a time for a bullet between the (expletive) eyes..."

who is gonna take him out to the woodshed?

[dana_b]

22. right... remember HE's got the big guns!!

you take him to the woodshed, I'll stay far away from people like him.

[AlCzervik]

15. Ted should just stick to using chain saws.

http://www.vh1.com/artists/news/1484363/01142004/nugent_ted.jhtml

[orleans]

16. i'm waiting for one of his kids to publish a book: "life with my crazy ass fucking father" n/t

[AlCzervik]

21. isn't he a kid toucher?

[orleans]

34. ewe...n/t

[Ikonoklast]

17. Who?

Oh, THAT guy.

Must be painful to be growing old and irrelevant, when you are so desperate to be neither.

[mtnester]

18. Ted Nugent, admitted pedophile, draft dodger and SHITTY guitarist

here are some jewels from Ted:

Ted Nugent Blames Hippies for Divorce, Abortion, Drugs and Crime:
http://www.rollingstone.com/rockdaily/index.php/2007/07/03/ted-nugent-blames-hippies-for-divorce-abortion-drugs-and-crime/

Ted Nugent Threatens to Kill Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton During Vicious Onstage Rant
http://www.rollingstone.com/rockdaily/index.php/2007/08/24/ted-nugent-threatens-to-kill-barack-obama-and-hillary-clinton-during-vicious-onstage-rant/

He must need some cash - because this crap is the only way he can boost/sell concert tickets. Here is how he is doing this year so far Kickin it off at the Erie County Fair in Sandusky, Ohio

Ted Nugent unleashes summer tour dates
May 9, 2008 07:05 AM
By Tjames Madison
LiveDaily Contributor
Hard rock veteran Ted Nugent < tickets > has unveiled his summer tour plans, a three-month affair that includes a mid-summer European stretch.
Nugent--who will perform his 6,000th concert during the run, according to his website--will kick the tour off June 7 in Sandusky, OH. The Motor City Madman will play about 40 dates through late September.

All North American dates are included below; overseas shows can be found at Nugent's website.

Nugent's most recent studio album was last year's "Love Grenade." Produced by Nugent himself, the disc performed poorly on the charts, debuting at No. 186 on the Billboard 200 album chart and selling 3,600 copies its first week on store shelves.

The set features a cover of "Journey to the Center of the Mind," a song originally made popular by Nugent's '60s group, The Amboy Dukes.

More
http://www.livedaily.com/news/14181.html


He will manage to come back to pollute my state AGAIN at the Ohio State Fair in August...bleh

[dana_b]

28. he also attacked my favorite rock band on FOX news

Rage Against The Machine. http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,269842,00.html

Zack de la Rocha went on a rant about impeaching, trying, hanging ,shooting Bush. Ted went on FOX to slam them with Ann COulter,Hannity and the other idiots. I had to watch because I love that band so much. It made me sick though. Ted couldn't play one lick of Tom Morello's lines must less fight them about the Constitution. They know their shit!

[Dhalgren]

32. Look, I detest and despise Nugent. He is a running pustule.

That said, you cannot call him a "shitty guitarist". As much as I loath him as a human being (me being one, not necessarily him), you have to give the devil his due. Nugent is a superb guitarist, one of the best, actually. It just goes to show, that there is no equation of talent with even a modicum of humanity...

[notfullofit]

41. I remember him from

the 'good old days' when rock was king, he was awesome, but now, well I don't know him anymore.

[pt22]

44. Hitler was a pretty talented painter.

:)

[a la izquierda]

51. Thank you for that...

I really needed to laugh today. Your post made me giggle a little bit.

[mtnester]

59. I can absolutely calll him a shitty guitarist

my 15 year old nephew plays better....or I could call him a hack instead.

You think it burns Ted's ass that Joan Jett makes the Top 100 best guitarists of all time and HE does not? One can hope.

Don't make me start a loung thread :)

Oh, and I totally agree with those posters above that Tommy Morello probaly makes Ted weep like a baby in secret because he wishes he were 1/4 the guitarist Tommy is on a lazy day.



on edit - unfortunate double use of the word "can" in he same sentence

[Swamp Rat]

60. I agree

Crappy guitarist and a worse musician.

[stevedeshazer]

54. He's total crap.

There are better guitarists at most bars and clubs in my town on any given night of the week.

I'm a crappy guitarist, and I'm better than he is.

[elehhhhna]

19. Obama threatened to take Ted's guns away? When? Guess i mssed that headline.

Ted is a typical American right-wing idiot--angry as all hell about made-up shit.

[Iggo]

26. Oh, he didn't threaten to.

Uncle Ted says Obama doesn't allow him to carry a gun.

Oh, really...

[ColbertWatcher]

20. Bob Barr should be ashamed by his supporters! n/t

[arcadian]

23. Only wackjobs write manifestos

Ted's doppleganger, Ted.



They actually look a lot of like.

[Bluebear]

25. Waco...machine guns....manifesto....

Check, check, check.

[Lennon]

24. The World According to Ted Nugent

http://www.nocompromise.org/news/000731c.html

ON MILITARY SERVICE

He claims that 30 days before his draft board physical, he stopped all forms of personal hygiene. The last 10 days, he ingested nothing but Vienna sausages and Pepsi; and a week before his physical, he stopped using bathrooms altogether, virtually living inside pants caked with his own excrement, stained by his urine. That spectacle won Nugent a deferment, he says. "... but if I would have gone over there, I'd have been killed, or I'd have killed, or I'd killed all the hippies in the foxholes...I would have killed everybody." - Detroit Free Press Magazine , July 15, 1990

[RB TexLa]

27. And people care what an actor thinks?

[dana_b]

29. sort of an actor, you're right. n/t

[Wiley50]

30. "Cat Scratch Fever" should be Parodied as "Red Neck Psycho" n/t

[spanone]

33. the classic redneck asshole....

[Mad_Dem_X]

35. Whatever, Ted.

Go crawl back under your rock, you scumbucket.

[Warren DeMontague]

37. Wouldn't that more properly be called a "Nugifesto"?

How is this any different than the idiotic shit he's been spewing all along? He's going to put it all in one place? Oh, goody.

[Dogtown]

38. Useless excuse

A completely self-absorbed, detestable man.

[MisterP]

39. Johnny Crappleseed! n/t

[Forkboy]

40. Fuck Ted. To quote the mighty Paris...

"Who do the fightin’ for these rich white folks, and they wars
No it ain’t Drew Carey, Dennis Miller or stars
Fox News, Mike Savage, Bruce Willis or Rush
Won’t be MSNBC, CNN or a Bush
Never Toby Keith, Hannity, O’Reilly or Clint
Ain’t ClearChannel - know they ain’t supportin’ dissent
Ain’t Blair, Kid Rock, or Tom Cruise or vows
Of James Woods, Rob Lowe, Tom Selleck or Powell
Not Arnold Schwarzenegger, he ain’t gonna shoot, or
Ted Nuget cause in war the targets got weapons too."

[Monk06]

42. That man ain't right in the head. Plus he dodged the draft in during the VN war so he's no hero.

[Solly Mack]

43. I think he needs to be watered

and maybe a little less sunlight...

[SalmonChantedEvening]

45. Bat Squeeze Fever

Ted's got it Bad Squeeze Fever.

"And I don’t even know what Hillary is. She’s not even the same species as I am."

Which can only mean Hillary Clinton is human. Very human.

[jmowreader]

49. It will sell every bit as well as his latest album, I predict...

Hey Ted! Tell me something, will ya? Why in FUCK should we take political advice from someone whose greatest hit is about catching the clap? Cat scratch fever my ass.

Think back a few years. Another one of you conservative dumbasses wrote a book entitled "Shut Up and Sing." Go do that, 'kay?

[Elidor]

50. He seems to be impersonating Coulter

Little Ted wants lots of attention. What a fucking idiot he is.

[papapi]

52. Ted Nugent? Kill It And Grill It. 'nuf said.

[H2O Man]

53. Was Ted with The Archies?

n/t

[johnfunk]

55. Isn't Masturfestoing in public a felony in most states?

Just askin'...

[Kat45]

56. Then there's his new song, "I Am the NRA"

And if you click on the "more info" link, you'll be able to read the inane lyrics too!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y00VXuNG3Kg

[Vickers]

57. "a barbecue with war veterans he reveres..."

He can kiss this war veteran's ass.

[Avalon Sparks]

58. I hate that mother fracker!!!!!

My dream would be to see that f-tard in a very special canned hunt. Caged and defenseless in a pen with every animal he's ever killed - with them all being REALLY hungry.

Yup, I'd pay to see that.

[Echo In Light]

61. He's always been a right winger - would kick people out of his bands for smoking pot

Seriously. He's every bit the megalomaniac that Kiss's Gene Simmons is. Yet he claims that his {1960s} Amboy Dukes' Journey To The Center of Your Mind {obvious drug song} didn't have anything whatsoever to do with drug references.

Gee, what's with all the pipes?