Chimpolini contemplates writing memoirs

[Cirque du So-What]

Bush contemplates writing memoirs

Posted Mon Jun 16, 2008 7:28am AEST

US President George W Bush, scrutinised in books by former colleagues including a blistering critique by his ex-spokesman, is considering writing a memoir of his own.

Mr Bush has been silent on former spokesman Scott McClellan's book, which said the White House shaded the truth and conducted a propaganda campaign to make its case to invade Iraq and topple Saddam Hussein in 2003.

Asked if he planned to pen his own book after leaving office in January, Mr Bush said it was a possibility.

"I'm going to think about that, yes - writing a book," Mr Bush said in an interview with Britain's Observer newspaper.

more...

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/06/16/2275299.htm?section=entertainment

I thought this was too good to pass up. I know the best minds at DU can come up with some suggestions - title, content, etc. - for The Giggling Murderer's memoirs. Show us what ya got!

[texastoast]

1. You're screwed. I lied. Nancy Pelosi let me get away with it.

The end.

[KansDem]

2. He'll need these...

[SeattleGirl]

14. You beat me to it!

[geomon666]

3. Is it possible to fit 8 years worth of misery....

into a single pop up book?

[Cirque du So-What]

7. Too bad Stephen King already used the title 'Misery' N/T

[Lerkfish]

4. should be " bush contemplates learning how to spell "memoirs""

[driver8]

5. File it under fiction...

There certainly won't be any truth to it!

[no_hypocrisy]

6. Even as a coloring book, it won't be a bestseller.

[LakeSamish706]

10. I suppose that there will be some out there stupid enough to want to buy it...

I would love to see him have to write it from his jail cell though.

[Eurobabe]

8. Crayolas and paper should be fine. n/t

[Rick Myers]

9. They can send the royalty check to The Hague!!!

[AlCzervik]

11. well that will make for an interesting pamphlet because after he leaves out everything

terrible he's done all he'll have left is a one sided sheet of paper and he'll need 58pt font to fill it up.

[Lautremont]

12. 'I Was There' by George W. Bush

(This excerpt is from Chapter 8, "A Terrible Day!")

...Then he leaned in and told me those terrible words. "Mister President, it appears an event is happening." At first I was angry. How dare he interrupt my readings of the goat book! This is the education of the children we are talking about here. It was to be my greatest legacy. But then I realized, wait, this sounds important. I thought about it for quite a while, sitting there and reading. It was hard to concentrate though, as the book kept stealing away my attention.
Later I wished that I had seen the airplane crashing into the building. I wished I was there, but not too close. And I would have wanted some kind of gas mask, because right away they told me all that smoke and dust was toxic. But it sure would have been neat to see! I did get to see all the wreckage, when later I stood on top of it and shouted at people with my bullhorn. Dick didn't have to tell me, even though he did tell me, that this was my big opportunity. We both knew political capital when we were standing on the smoking ruins of it. Dick and I were happy all that month,because we knew we would get our war.

(or this, from Chapter 15, "The Worst Day Of My Presidency")

...I took another handful of pretzels from the bag and stuffed them in my mouth. But suddenly there was a funny feeling in my throat. One of the pretzels was not going down! I tried my hardest to swallow, but the pretzel was stuck good. I strained myself as hard as I could, like in the bathroom, and suddenly everything went white. I could feel myself falling to the floor. My face hit the carpet hard. My legs were kicking spasmodically, and I was moving in circles around on the carpet, giving myself a bad rug burn. Oh man! Someone should come and save me, I thought. I'm the President! Then I blacked out."

(and from Chapter 22, "Oh, That Door!")

...I pulled and pulled, but the big gold door wouldn't open. It was like some horrible nightmare. Never before had I felt so upset. How could they lock the door against the President? Someone should have run around to the other side and opened it. Or someone should have shot the lock off so I could get through. Anyway, what if there was a fire? I would have got burned up while everyone else ran out through the proper doors."

[SammyWinstonJack]

13. LMAO!

:rofl:

[lutefisk]

17. "...I pulled and pulled, but the big gold door wouldn't open"

That is some funny, insightful writing. You really capture the essence of Junior.

They'll be looking for a co-writer, why not apply? Unless Karen Hughes wants to write another book for him.

:thumbsup:

[GreatCaesarsGhost]

15. Mein Kampf is already taken

[melody]

16. There hasn't been a real Dick and Jane book since Dr. Gray died

But I think that's probably a little below Chimpy's reading level.

[ProgressiveFool]

18. "Ruggy: Tales of the Oval Office" /nt