How old is McCain?.... he's so old....

[Bigmack]

McCain's tea party

By Andy Borowitz Syndicated Columnist

Republican presidential nominee Sen. John McCain officially kicked off his general election campaign today, promising to bring his race for the White House to "all 13 colonies."

At a campaign stop in the Dominion of Virginia, McCain said that if his Democratic opponent, Sen. Barack Obama, takes any of the 13 colonies for granted, "he doth so at his peril."

Many McCain advisers concede the Dominion of Virginia will be a key colony in the fall election. But in announcing his 13-colony strategy, McCain appeared to give notice that he intends to contest such traditional Democratic strongholds as the Province of Massachusetts Bay.

The Republican nominee gave his audience a sneak preview of the fall campaign by introducing what he clearly believes to be the dominant issue of the 2008 election: the high cost of tea.

"The American people cannot and should not tolerate the exorbitant prices they are paying for tea," McCain said, adding that in some states tea had risen to as high as $4 a gallon. He said that as president he would propose a number of measures to provide relief to tea consumers, including a "tea-tax holiday," and that he would crack down on the big tea companies: "It's time for their tea party to end."

In the conclusion of his remarks, McCain vowed that his campaign would employ "the latest technology" to spread his message across the 13 colonies.

"We will use the telegraph key, the carrier pigeon, and the pony," he said.

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/opinion/2008009358_borowitz21.html

[customerserviceguy]

1. Yes, I've been laughing at these

but are ageist jokes really that much more morally defensible than racist or sexist jokes?

[notesdev]

2. Oh admit it, it's funny

Besides, older people make more jokes about age than everyone else combined. And they get enough Early Bird Specials to compensate for any hurt feelings that persist through bouts of dementia.

[customerserviceguy]

3. If I changed that statement around to a racial one

about black people making more jokes about race than everybody else combined, and getting plenty of affirmative action and food stamps to make up for the hurt feelings that persisted from slavery and Jim Crow, would it illuminate my point a little better?

[notesdev]

4. It's a question of values

Is eliminating any possible potential for someone to take offense worth discarding free expression and a sense of humor? I say it isn't.

[customerserviceguy]

5. Express it all you want

and I'm glad I live in a country that won't jail anybody for making a racist or sexist joke, but my point is that ageist jokes are fundamentally equivalent to them. I like how Senator Obama is saying that McCain's ideas are outdated, without criticising the man for having attained a certain age. Besides, it might backfire, and gain McCain some undeserved sympathy. It certainly would be possible for McCain's supporters to point out that while we can still make age jokes about John McCain, we cannot make race jokes about Barack Obama.

For people in the mushy middle afraid of Senato Obama's change, that might have some value in swaying their votes this fall. I'd hate to see that happen, there are a thousand reasons to oppose McCain, and none of them have to do with his age. We need to make sure the focus of our limited time to persuade people is spent on those.

[notesdev]

6. I don't think they're equivalent

Everybody gets old (or hopes to). It's a common element that is shared by all of humanity. There's no "us and them" factor - it's all "us", even if not right at this moment, eventually.

[originalpckelly]

7. Yes, if everything works out, we'll all be getting old one day.

Someday, young whipper snappers will be making jokes about us.

So it all works out.

[jazzjunkysue]

8. He's not too old to be respected. But he's way too damn old to be president. Period.

If he doesn't want the gramps jokes, he can just quit the race and be a ridiculously old senator. Not much better, but better.
He wants to keep us in Iraq forever and erect 40 new nuclear power plants.

All I can say is,

HAVE. AT. HIM.