Sometimes, your life is going along fine, and WHAM, fate rips your guts out

[DFW]

A friend of mine from Brussels runs a fairly successful small business, makes
a decent living even with Belgian taxes, and supports his family comfortably,
if not exactly extravagantly. He left work early Monday because his daughter
and his niece (his brother's daughter) were graduating that afternoon. As they
were getting ready for the ceremony, his niece, 18 years old, suddenly dropped
dead with no warning at all. No history of health problems, drugs, medication,
just boom, one second she was there with her classmates, and the next, she was
dead on the floor in the middle of them.

The cause has not come back yet, not that it will be much consolation, whatever it
was that caused it. My friend's brother is a wreck, and my friend is devastated.

You can't prepare for something like that, and even if you could, who'd want to?

I'll be seeing him on Monday when I'm back in Brussels. I'm going feel like an idiot
because I'll be looking for something to say when there is nothing I could possibly
say. If it were to happen to one of my daughters, I'd feel like punching my head
through a six inch thick plate glass wall.

Man, if there was ever a reminder that there's no free ride, this was it. One thing's
for sure, my next post is going to be more pleasant than this one. I guess I'm a little
dazed, myself at the moment. Script therapy or something.

[DogPoundPup]

1. Truly shocking

My condolences to all ~

[Sal Minella]

2. What you say to him is not what matters. Just being in the same room will help.

I still love the friends who had the good sense to KNOW there was nothing they could say, and just let themselves comfort me by being in the room. I knew they cared. They knew I knew. Any words are pretty much superfluous.

[w8liftinglady]

3. put your arms around him.no words are necesary.

saying this as a nurse who has had to break the news to too many people.hug him,let him cry...he'll lead the direction of the conversation.

[DFW]

4. That's pretty much what I had in mind. What else is there?

[RT Atlanta]

5. so sad

I am sorry to hear about your friend's loss. All you can do is let them know you're thinking about them and sorry for their loss.

[CC]

6. Give him a hug, tell him you are there for him

and if he wants to talk let him talk, no matter what he talks about. If he doesn't want to talk let him not talk. Look around, see what might need done at his house or business and just show up and do it. You can offer to do whatever he needs but it works better if you just do. Check on him often specially after a couple weeks when others disappear. It will be a long time before the whole family feels anywhere close to something normal and they will need people to lean on comfortably for a long time.

[Subdivisions]

7. All you can do is give him a hug and cry with him. n/t

[spanone]

8. sometimes reality gets in the way of our insanity....my heart goes out to your friend and all

[easttexaslefty]

9. The best advice I can give you

is to let him take the lead.If he needs to scream,cry, rant or whatever...just go where he goes. Tell him you can't imagine what he is going through but you care and you are there for him. Hug him.
May she Rest in Peace

[uponit7771]

10. I pray for fast healing of their hearts and minds, be near and be silent and be a listner