Um..how are we going to talk about ..you know...S-A-N-T-A this year?

[underpants]

I mean with the ice gone from the Arctic Circle this summer how is the ...you know.... :hide:



































story about (whispers) S-A-N-T-A going to hold up

My daughter will only be 3 for this Christmas/Holiday season so she won't be all that aware of there being NO SNOW and such but what about the 6, 8, 10 year olds and such?

And what do we tell them when they ask "Why didn't Santa save the North Pole?"

We may want to spit ball some ideas on this so we have our stories straight come the end of the year.

[flvegan]

1. Santa moved to Florida and outsourced elven duties to India and Panama.

The North Pole fell into disrepair.

[underpants]

2. I see that the Catskills may have a plan to revitalize

CASINOs

:shrug:

Think about it-nothing better to do in the arctic but gamble!!! throw in some Viking clad teutonic hookers and its WIN WIN



or WYNN WYNN if you will

[flvegan]

5. And there's no age limits.

Bring your 9 year old for tyke blackjack and shooters!

[underpants]

6. even better

:beer::bounce:

[Deja Q]

25. That's because it was built in China and shipped up there.

:hide:

[Blue_In_AK]

3. He hangs out in North Pole, Alaska

during the summer, and by winter the real thing will be frozen back over.

http://www.northpolealaska.com/

[noamnety]

4. All Christmas gifts

need to be focused on water activities. Water wings, snorkels, flippers.

The new story is that Santa loves scuba diving. Also, he's not fat, he's just bulky because there's a wet suit under his clothes.

[Vickers]

7. "Kids? We need to have a little talk..."

*deep breath*


"I hate to tell you this, but...George Bush killed Santa Claus."

:evilgrin::evilgrin::evilgrin:

[Amimnoch]

21. Why limit it to George Bush??

Tell them it was republicans in general who killed Santa Clause so they have a bias against them from early on!

[JVS]

23. As much as I dislike the republicans, I cannot blame them for all the ecological consequences of...

worldwide industrialization. It's not like JFK and LBJ were trying to create an ecologically friendly society, and even Carter and his "wear a fucking sweater people" campaign isn't exactly a world-saver.

[anigbrowl]

34. I don't remember Bill Clinton stringly defending the idea of signing the Kyoto treaty either

One of my big disappointments with him. There's plenty of blame to go around, even if the Republicans seem determined to get a larger share.

[ColbertWatcher]

37. The GOP's hatred of science is behind the denial of global warming. n/t

[underpants]

29. LOL

that one cracked my wife up

:bounce:

[GOPisEvil]

8. Dude, Santa is like Betty Crocker.

He's just a made-up figurehead. Santa Enterprises, Inc. is nothing more than a corporation based in Puerto Rico with labor outsourced to the 3rd world. Final assembly for toys headed to the USA is done in Guam so they can slap a "Made in USA" sticker on them.

[noamnety]

18. I wish Santa and Betty Crocker would pair up

and make coffee flavored cake frosting as a Christmas gift for me.

[Deja Q]

26. And their offspring would make a real party favor too...

:yoiks:

[underpants]

30. He hangs out at the MGM Mirage playing highstakes backgammon

with the high end "entertainers" at the bar

[OffWithTheirHeads]

9. With the economic meltdown that will really start hitting this fall

Santa won't be coming this year. The real war on Christmas will be surged and it will be all "Mission Accomplished" and Santa will be found in his spidy hole and hanged! Children who want presents will be told to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and those who have no boots should have taken personal responsibility. Free gifts indeed! Fucking Socialists!

Oh, and Rudolph will be sent to Gitmo for being Sadam... I mean Santa's driver and will confess under torture to conspiricy to re distrubute wealth in the wrong direction.

Stay tuned for updates.

[Missy Vixen]

10. Considering the fact that heating oil is projected to double

in cost for those living on the East Coast, it's going to be a very bad retail season.

It'll be interesting to see how this is spun in the media. Hmmm -- Christmas presents or heat? Christmas presents or filling the gas tank? Christmas presents or food?

Yikes.
Julie

[hunter]

13. Dick Cheney shot Rudolph a long time ago.

It was a Christmas Eve "hunting accident." Of course our lap-dog press swept the entire incident under the rug and most people never heard about it.

Rudolph's head is mounted in Cheney's secret bunker, and Rudolph's dead nose is lit up with nuclear power.

[Jack Rabbit]

11. Santa's Ark

Santa, Mrs. Claus, the elves and the reindeer saw this coming and built a large houseboat to continue his work. The houseboat rests on the North Pole.

It is not known whether there are any polar bear on board.

Meanwhile, Santa's list of naughty is said to include Bush, Cheney and former ExxonMobil CEO Lee Raymond.

[tom_paine]

12. "Santa drowned, children."

It'll help get them ready for the future that is coming.

[LWolf]

14. I had this conversation with my 8yo grandson yesterday.

He is beyond literal belief, in that stage of wistful pretending because he wishes there were really a Santa.

We'll probably spend this winter exploring the myth of Santa Claus, and why it perpetuates.

Yesterday, though, I asked his dad, with the grandboy's ears perked and listening, what was going to happen to Santa when all the ice melted. We had a pseudo-serious discussion, watching his ears twitch and his mental gears shifting. His dad replied that he thought it was too far to move him all the way to Antarctica. That he would move the toy factory onto a large floating barge-type island. The only problem would be what to do with the reindeer.

I suggested that he send the reindeer into retirement, and switch to flying fish, and a flying boat instead of a sleigh. At that point, a very red young boy snorted, started giggling, and said he'd like to see that.

We have a reindeer ranch about 5 miles away, and have to pass it to get to town or work, so reindeer are a common sight locally.

[OffWithTheirHeads]

15. Reindeer my ass

That's a commie terrorist training camp.

[LWolf]

19. And here we thought that's where the reindeer stayed

until Santa needed them, lol. It's the largest reindeer ranch in the nation. A few are kept in pens by the road so that people can stop and take pictures:

[onethatcares]

27. hell, I wish there was a Santa Claus,

because after working all these years, I could use some new toys.

[ColbertWatcher]

31. Santa in flip-flops is not as good a myth...

...as Santa with boots.

This is so sad...

[cherokeeprogressive]

16. I didn't know Santa was in the business of "saving" ANYTHING.

Tell your kids THERE IS NO SANTA and that it's a fun fairytale that used to make people feel good about being good.

[L0oniX]

17. Not to mention that The Bob is now unfrozen and is making its way south...

absorbing all of humanity.




"I ‘Don’t See How It Matters’ That I Don’t Know The Price Of Gas" --John McCain

"I disagree with what the majority of the American people want." John McCain

[Occam Bandage]

20. He's dead. The melting ice unlocked the elder god Cthulhu, who devoured his soul.

All will now die an unimaginably horrifying death.

[JVS]

22. God finally killed him for taking the spotlight from baby Jesus. Masha'Allah!

[JVS]

24. First you have to tell them the ugly truth so that the see the need for desantafication

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tV_3-yIfw4k

[anigbrowl]

35. You lie! The TRUTH is out there!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWjlm4TeXJU

[0rganism]

28. SCUBA Claus

SCUBA Claus delivers waterproof presents to children in his magical submarine, pulled by 12 magical squid. He comes in through the drainpipes when everyone's asleep, and leaves through the toilet. If you want to be extra nice, set out a tray of green-tree air fresheners and deoderant for SCUBA Claus this Christmas.

[carlyhippy]

32. well, Santa decided that it was just too cold up there

so he moved to his own island in the south pacific, he still has his reindeer and elves, he built his own toy factories. He will still fire up the reindeer/sleigh, but he put skis on the sled vs. skids. his nose is still red, but it's sunburned instead of frostbit.

[Blue Belle]

33. Well unless there's a special news bulletin that interrupts Hanna Montana...

I doubt most kids will know about it. While many of us talk about these problems with our children, most kids in the USA get the same information as their parents do and from the same sources.

[RC]

36. Sadly, I think you are correct.

For too many people nothing changes till the evidence is so overwhelming that it can not be denied.