What would the news look like if Baghdad really was safer than Washington DC?

[ck4829]

I am so tired of right wingers saying that Baghdad is safer than Washington DC, but what do you think the news would look like if it really was the truth?

MORTARS STRIKE WASHINGTON DC GREEN ZONE
July 9, 2008

For the second day, mortars have rained down upon the green zone in our nation's capital. Insurgent leader Tony Perkins of the militant group called the Family Research Council has claimed responsibility for the attack, while President Bush in his bunker said that retaliation for the attack was coming, no such reprisal has yet materialized. In other news, rumors of death squads being ran by the Justice Department have been verified, but their existence is still being denied by the Bush Administration.

Yeah, I think it would look something like that.