Pick yourselves up by your bootstraps you whiners!

[Indenturedebtor]

Recessions and Depressions are always caused by the consumer.

Unfortunately consumers over the last 30 years have not taken advantage of all of the cheap goods and Wall Street investment opportunities that have been provided them through Globalization and outsourcing. Instead folks have been having a lovely time buying things like food and gasoline on their credit cards, running up massive medical bills for unneccessary procedures like angioplasties, or student loan debt for frivolous degrees and certificates.

Even though our economy has experienced unprecedented growth, most consumers were simply not willing to get the education and make the connections necessary to take advantage of all of this wealth. You were all too busy playing Pong and watching the NFL to bother sticking your hands out for the money raining down from the sky.

What's even more sickening is that we've tried so hard to help you share in the prosperity of this great nation! We've increased your average work week by 10 hours, we've allowed many of you to have TWO jobs, and we've let all you ladies come and work for us at the same time. Unfortunately though, you lazy slugs just don't want to work hard enough! Management has had to pick up the slack causing a massive rise in productivity, and we tried to nudge you in the right direction by decreasing your vacation time and politely asking you to work through lunch and work off the clock even. But despite all of this you still can't seem to pull it together.

Well we're willing to give you one last chance. We're going to take OUR hard earned cash and make it available to you at a reasonable rate. We've worked hard with the Congress to set a reasonable limit on Credit Cards, and we'll even start you off somewhere around 8% before we bring it up to 29%. We've also quite thoughtfully made the bootstraps you need available! We've worked out a deal with a factory in India that will provide you with cheap affordable bootstraps that you can quite easily finance!

So what are you waiting for? Get out there and buy those bootstraps you slags!

We're sick of carrying you lazy bastards around with us... it's time you picked up the pace and made something happen for yourselves. I for one am sick and tired of paying for all of this plastic surgery to smooth the wrinkle lines I get from looking at you sad lot in disgust. Afterall I need that money to loan back to you. Don't you want us to have money to lend you?

[HughBeaumont]

1. You know what's sad about all of this?

Something that you and I would consider total sarcasm sounds like it was ripped verbatim from a Sean Hannity, Jack Welch or Carly Fiorina book. Or the Politically Incorrect Guide to Economics. Whichever.

[Indenturedebtor]

7. What's really truly sad about this is that you can find sentiments like this here on DU

I read one nearly every day "If people would just be more responsible with their money..." :puke:

[HughBeaumont]

17. The "Shoulda Woulda Coulda" cult on DU is downright nauseating.

Usually their "meaningful advice" comes from a time period where the cost of necessities actually made it possible to save money. That's certainly not the case today. The average person needs a sheer stroke of luck to even get slightly ahead nowadays. College is becoming less and less accessible, real estate is out of reach for the average family, groceries are skyrocketing, we're still relying on cars for transportation in general, etc.

[Indenturedebtor]

18. I think it mostly comes from people who established themselves

In a better time.

[Lifetimedem]

2. Some day

The Republicans may figure out we are not a nation of consumers, we are citizens.

BTW I can not afford boots let alone boot straps

[Double T]

3. Sick humor; not funny!

[Indenturedebtor]

10. No it's not funny at all.

Sometimes things are not funny because they're true :(

[Double T]

12. In this case, absolutely TRUE!

peace bro.

[zippy890]

4. now thats a good post

:rofl:

"I for one am sick and tired of paying for all of this plastic surgery to smooth the wrinkle lines I get from looking at you .."


oh yes thats our country raht there

[SpiralHawk]

5. Did you steal this from Rush 'Draft Dodger' Limbaugh?

Or just channel it?

LOL - well done.

[KharmaTrain]

6. And The Corporate Media Chirps...

A few weeks ago, they were orgasmic when someone walked in with a clandestine recording of Obama supposedly insulting people who believe in god and guns. Oh the outrage...Tweety was wetting himself, Tucker's bowtie was spinning, Faux Noise devoted hours of endless coverage and the beltway village all agreed Obama was an elitist. But when a repugnican comes out and insults anyone who has lost a job, a house, their savings and healthcare...well they're just "whiners"...ya know, get over it. If you're not a millionaire, it's obviously your fault and don't dare complain about it. And where is the corporate media with this story? Trying to get a response from Jesse Jackson, of course.

[Indenturedebtor]

8. Yes it's a constant barrage of "Why aren't you saving more?"

"Why did you spend so much on your house instead of living in a shack?"

"What do you mean you financed a car for 7 years?!?!? Are you stupid or something?"

[notadmblnd]

9. I aint got no bootstraps.

won't you please give me money so I can get me some bootstraps to pull myself up by?

[Indenturedebtor]

11. Yes of course! But first we need your tax dollars to finance a factory in India! n/t

[zippy890]

13. like Stephen Colbert said

about 'picking yourself up by your bootstraps'

It can be done! He's seen acrobats do something like it in Cirque de Soleil!

:)

[Indenturedebtor]

14. A Peabody is simply not enough. If you haven't read "I am America and So Can You"

You have to do so immediately.

[kineneb]

19. sheee-it, still looking for socks, never mind the boots...

toes are stickin' out in the air, and ain't got enough income to pay taxes...

[rateyes]

15. Can't pull myself up by my bootstraps.

I don't have feet. (metaphorically speaking)

[spinbaby]

16. Phil Gramm, is that you?

:evilgrin: