Jalapeno Pepper Sends CNN Anchor Into Uncontrollable Rage!

[Impedimentus]

CNN reported tonight that a single Mexican jalapeno pepper discovered in a Texas plant is infected with salmonella. CNN political deity Lou Dobbs immediately turned the find into "Mexican jalapeno peppers are infecting decent American citizens" (well, actually he implied it with one of those infamous Lou Dobbs scowls). The poor little pepper is locked under heavy guard in a secret government facility where it is undergoing unmentionable tortures as government agents assisted by CNN's Kitty Pilgram try to find out where it picked up the dreaded infection and why it entered the US.

Lou is convinced that the pepper illegally entered the country after paying Mexican drug lords a large sum of money to toss it over a border fence. The pepper wasn't wearing an American flag lapel pin when captured - more scowls from Lou.

Lou Dobb's scowls have previously been reserved for Michelle Obama, the ACLU, stray cats, Nancy Polosi and other known or suspected haters of everything good about America. It appears Lou is now finding illegal aliens, pinko commies, and entities without flag lapel pins hiding in the plant world.

Keep up the good work Lou - and be sure to double-up on your blood pressure meds.

Great reporting CNN!

[Bozita]

1. Jalapeno is furriner food. Look how it's spelled. And they pronounce it hollow-pee-no.

Keep that shit out of Lou's country.

Ain't that what that fence is for?

oops. Almost forgot. Welcome to DU, Impedimentus.

[juajen]

2. You might not remember that Lou Dobbs is married to a

woman from Mexico. Jalapeno peppers are certainly in their life.

[LBJDemocrat]

3. Enough with trashing Lou Dobbs

He's done a lot of good by promoting fair trade and the reduction of H1-B visas. He helps push economically progressive ideas to rightists.

[amandabeech]

4. Yes, I like him when he is about jobs for people who are here legally already.

I'm not a big fan of illegal immigration, although I do have sympathy for people who are trying to get away from really bad governments and economic situations.

Frankly, since the economy is in a tailspin, I wouldn't be unhappy if we cut down on legal immigration for the time being. I don't think that it is fair to those who are unemployed and underemployed to bring in more competition in a downturn. It further tears what is left of the social contract and the cohesion left in this place that I think we will need to face our problems. Timing is everything.

[EFerrari]

11. LOL! Lou Dobbs couldn't recognize a progressive idea

if it were a jackpot that came with a hooker, a Cadillac and comps to the buffet.

[varkam]

13. I'm stealing that line!

Thank you! :rofl:

[spanone]

5. lou has become a cartoon caricature...i can't stand to watch him

[AlCzervik]

6. more threats from Communist Mexico and their Capsaicin of death.

yeah Lou, you're a real man of the people, always looking out for the little guy.

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

7. Did poor Lou soil the sheet he was wearing?

[derby378]

8. Good thing Lou Dobbs didn't shove that jalapeno up his butt

Don't you know that he would have been just oh-so-disagreeable if he did that?

[ColbertWatcher]

9. This took forever, but i "found" the mug shot...

[Runcible Spoon]

10. fucking Mexican wetback jalepenos comin' and and stealin' all the American pepper jobs!

:GRR:

and :sarcasm: as if it's really needed.

[Marie26]

12. How high was the Dobbs-o-meter?

Did he hit head-explosion range or just turning-red-with-vitriolic-hatred?

[Ilsa]

14. Dobbs must have Cruetzfeld-Jakob disease (like Mad Cow). nt

[LeftyMom]

15. Those things burn when you shit too! It's biological warfare, it is!

:grr: