|
Welcome to the electric banana, plastic fantastic DUzy Awards, a compendium of star-spangled amusement from this week on DU. Congratulations to this week's winners!
Note to Mods: Skinner has authorized the DUzy Awards to be posted in GD. Special thanks to Bluebear, Peake, scarletwoman, Rhiannon12866, SeattleGirl, babylonsister, Longhorn, hisownpetard, grantcart, Gilligan, krispos42, KamaAina, Commie Pinko Dirtbag, 48percenter, FLDem5, prodn2000, JoeIsOneOfUs, CrispyQGirl, hootinholler, turtlensue, Heidi, Patsy Stone, wryter2000, Lars39, eleny, Midlodemocrat, stellanoir, devilgrrl and NanceGreggs for their invaluable assistance with this edition.
The DUzy Awards will return on September 5. And it's last call for DUzy avatars. These will be deleted from my Photobucket account tomorrow; if you've previously hotlinked to them, they're going to disappear. Last chance to save them to your own hard drive.
And if you missed this thread, go read it. On a thread by Bluebear: McCain backtracks, says he meant al-Qaeda would interfere with Iraq elections, not US"A warning by Republican presidential candidate John McCain that al-Qaeda may increase terrorist attacks "as we get into the election season" prompted news organizations to report that he was referring to the U.S. election. Campaign spokeswoman Brooke Buchanan later said McCain was talking about provincial elections in Iraq. McCain hadn't specified what election season he had in mind as he responded to questions at a town-hall meeting with General Motors Corp. workers in Warren, Michigan..." response #1 by Starbucks Anarchist: Even his senility flip-flops.response #2 by monmouth: He really makes my head hurt and Aleve doesn't work anymore...n/tresponse #3 by NightWatcher: put Gramps to bed, he's talking out of his mind againand give him a Viagra so he doesnt roll out of bed response #4 by SteelPenguin: John McCain runs into crowded theater screaming "WE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!"After mass panic his spokesman said Mr. McCain was referring to the tie-dye festival in Madison Wisconsin in three weeks time, and not the imminent danger of the people in the theater itself. ie What fucking typical "Fear and Switch" republican tactics. GD, July 18, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3642859 On a thread by Breeze54: N.E. Revolution Heroes Help Subdue Naked Man On Plane"Several staff members of the New England Revolution, including the soccer team's general manager, were on a flight from Boston to Los Angeles that had to be diverted when a passenger walked up and down the aisle naked and then tried to open the plane's emergency door. The FBI said the Revs personnel helped subdue the unruly passenger. No one was injured. The American Airlines flight had to make an emergency landing in Oklahoma after the naked man ran up and down the aisle at 30,000 feet. Officials said the man went to the bathroom and emerged without clothes. He returned to his seat, but about 10 minutes later he got up again and tried to open an emergency door..." response #1 by rucky: And they didn't even use their hands. n/tresponse #3 by Peake: No one ever calls the naked man a hero:cry: response #4 by Breeze54: "Snakes on the Plane!!" LMAO!! But he wasn't a hero! He was a loose, naked, nutcase! response #5 by scarletwoman: Maybe there wasn't anything(*ahem*) heroic about this particular naked man, if you know what I mean. ;) response #7 by RC: How come women never do anything like this?GD, July 19, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3646162 OP by KurtNYC: Details of the Next McCain Trip Abroad are Revealed!McCain to visit Czechoslovakia, East GermanyAfter hugging Bush goodbye, Senator John McCain will embark on a diplomatic tour which may shore up his foreign policy credentials. Some people say that the trip was hastily scheduled to get away from 61 year-old Denver librarian Carol Kreck, ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zfB4ZqgUlgw ) but the McCain campaign denies that: "If anything, John wants to get away from the disgrace that is Social Security and all the Americans who whining about foreclosures on their homes, gasoline prices, 14% inflation and the destruction of the US economy. John, as he always said, is an expert on the economy and knows that there is nothing wrong with the mortgage industry or general economy. And since the only problems with the US economy are psychological, if elected, John will ask Dr. Phil to become his Chief Economist." Advisors say McCain is anxious to catch up on events in Czechoslovakia and make sure the Soviets aren't going to reduce “the energy supplies to Czechoslovakia.” http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2008/07/16/mccain -... / "Then it's on to meet with Vladimir Putin the President of Germany, although we are not sure if he is President of East Germany or West Germany so we'll visit both as long as we can get passed the Berlin Wall. John recently pondered 'When will Gorbachev tear down that wall?'" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E5ENwej0fpcThe last stop on the trip will be to Pakistan where McCain has invited Afghan President Hamid Karzai. McCain says he knows how close the neighbors are. McCain announced last week that there is "good news, I think that there is a glimmer of improving relationship between Karzai and the Pakistanis." GD, July 19, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3644664 OP by grantcart: McCain critiques Obama Afghan tripAP - Somewhere on the StraightTalk Express By Dewey Cheetham. "Here let me draw you a map" Senator McCain offering to illustrate precisely Senator Obama's likely itinerary in KabulMcCain: Afghanistan trip will help Obama improve his security perspective.Senator McCain took a middle of the road approach commenting on Senator's landing in Afghanistan by saying that he hoped that the trip will help the Democratic Nominee "gain a valuable experience in understanding the practical side of maintaining security". McCain reminisced about his previous trips to Afghanistan saying that "the Secret Service always prefers taking highway 105 and then coming in the back way to Kabul on the seldom used Malakaar cut off 5 miles south of the capitol. I found it a very scenic route and was always impressed that I had such a good view from the third car in the motorcade." McCain seemed to be trying to stress his familiarity with the area and his personal experience as an advantage by stating that "he was sure that Obama and President Karzai would have a complete briefing and probably go together to lunch to the Kabul Kabob Restaurant that Karzai likes to take Americans to." "Its important that Obama get a feel for the practical aspects of security, right there on the field. These are the basic instincts that us old hands pick up from decades of military and security involvement. Senator Obama will have to be careful that he learns how to seperate careful material given to him in top secret briefings and not just spreading that all over the place when he tries to communicate his policy ideas to the public." McCain went on to say that it is important that Obama also get some idea of the civil rebuilding projects that are so important in Afghanistan. He added "I understand that in the afternoon, around 3:00 the Senator and the entire group will be visiting the Boys Junior Agricultural Training Institute located just north of Kabul, here let me show you where it is." And then Senator McCain demonstrated his detailed knowledge of the area by drawing a crude map on a napkin in front of appreciative cameras. "If a person is going to try and be President", the candidate concluded, "he has to learn how to be discreet and security conscious at all times." GDP, July 19, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6516119 OP by danagsk8: Hey, Mouseketeers! Now sing THIS!!(Yep, I gots another one of THESE to the tune of the Mickey Mouse Club theme!) Ohhh.... Who's the man whose "Hope and Change" Make proud the U.S.A? B-A-R-A-C-K O-B-A-M-A!Who's the leader all us Dems Are praying for each day? B-A-R-A-C-K O-B-A-M-A!Obama: He's my prez! Obama: He's your prez! He doesn't need a flag on his lapel! Nah! Nah! Nah! Who's the hero of the White House Not so far away? B-A-R...."R" you ready, America? A-C-K....Gonna Kick McCant's ass clear to the moon! O-B-A-M-Ayyyyyyyy!:patriot: :patriot: response #6 by Richardo: Doesn't Obama take enough grief about having big ears?:shrug: GDP, July 22, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6525855 OP by CaliforniaPeggy: McCain says we have succeeded in Iraq!We have succeeded in the following ways: :bluebox: We have succeeded in bringing Al Quaeda to Iraq :bluebox: We have succeeded in destroying Iraq's infrastructure :bluebox: We have succeeded in displacing or killing hundreds of thousands of innocent Iraquis :bluebox: We have succeeded in destroying our standing in the eyes of the rest of the world :bluebox: We have succeeded in alienating many of our best allies Well, you get the picture... I am sure you can add your own... This is far from a complete list, after all... May we never achieve such success again!GDP, July 19, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6517737 On a thread by Warpy: Nevada GOP cancels convention"Citing a lack of interest, the Nevada Republican Party has called off its state convention and will instead pick its delegates to the national convention by private conference call. The state party broke up its original convention in April when supporters of Ron Paul hijacked the proceedings and tried to elect delegates for their candidate to the national GOP convention in September. Party officials tried to reconvene on July 26, but they needed a quorum of 675 and received only 300 RSVPs, according to local reports..." response #4 by Steve_DeShazer: This is SO recommended:) :) :) response #19 by rpannier: Let's be fair hereThey were holding their meeting at the wrong location. Had they picked a federal prison located in Nevada, they'd have had thousands able to attend. response #18 by Perragrande: Why don't they change their name to The Nevada Apathy Club? I would start one myself, but I just don't give a shit, you see. :rofl: response #37 by opihimoimoi: "Free Hot Crabs, Cold Beer, and Prime Ribs couldn't lure them in...Damn"response #57 by KamaAina: Most repukes already have crabs'specially in Nevada, home of the Mustang Ranch. :evilgrin: GD, July 20, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3650839 OP by MonkeyFunk: This is God posting as MonkeyfunkHe's in the den playing with my Playstation 9, so I'm jumping in for a sec. I have some things to tell you: - Knock it off. Just knock it off. You know what I mean. - I TOTALLY spaced when doing the 10 Commandments. I don't know how it happened, but "Thou shalt not covet they neighbor's ox" should've been "Slavery is wrong." My bad. - Signal when changing lanes. - That "Sabbath Day" thing? A transcription error. Should've been "Thou shalt not wage war." - We're JUST NOW starting to get your radio signals here in heaven. That "Lucy" is whacky! Whoops! Here he comes... gotta run. response #1 by newmajority: So uh, God..... what about that whole "Sodom & Gomorrah" thing?You know the fundies down here - pretty much the same type of people who were called "pharisees" when your son JC came down for a visit - they're trying to convince people that You are some Fred Phelps type and You nuked all of Sodom county because a gay guy wanted to get it on with an angel or something, and Lot's wife turned into a big salt shaker, so Lot got drunk and passed out, and then his daughters screwed him. But that's OK with You. Uh, care to clear up that controversy? response #2 by MonkeyFunk: The destruction of Sodomwas a bit of an outburst on my part. It wasn't the gay thing, it was that they were REALLY inhospitable to my angel, Hank. I overreacted, I admit. As for Lot, I got him and the girls into family counseling. They had some fucked up shit, and that's all I'll say. response #3 by Maddy McCall: Quick question, God.A lot of the Christians around here are opposed to DNA cloning and such, yet they believe that a woman was created from the rib of a man. How do you feel about that? response #4 by MonkeyFunk: Don't tell me you yahoosthink that rib nonsense was literal! :rofl: Clone away - no skin off my divine nose. response #11 by Tuesday Afternoon: If you are God then who is in the den and why do you appear to beafraid of him? response #13 by MonkeyFunk: Have you SEEN Monkeyfunk when he's pissed?:scared: response #17 by Gormy Cuss: God posting as Monkeyfunk? That's refreshing change.It's usually the other way around. :yoiks: The Lounge, July 20, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7938525 OP by scarletwoman: The case against Obama's proposal to bomb France, what Dems & Obama don't get.I don't understand why Obama is considering bombing France, and it disturbs me that so many Dems seem willing to go along with it. So I think we must send these Dems and Obama the message that we won't put up with this idea of bombing France. Therefore, here are all the reasons why Obama's plan to bomb France is such a bad idea: #! ...Wait a minute! What's that? So, you're saying that Obama HASN'T proposed bombing France? That there is absolutely no evidence anywhere that Obama ever said he wanted to bomb France? Well don't that beat all! GDP, July 20, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6518204 OP by lame54: If Ben & Jerry Name An Ice Cream After John McCain What Should It Be Called?How about John McGrain Crunch Oatmeal ice cream with chunks of ribbon candy and a Metamucil swirl What are your suggestions? response #1 by JoeIsOneOfUs: needs more sour.response #2 by Bicoastal: Prunes 'n' Fiber.response #6 by Kutjara: McCain Marshmallow Flip Flop. n/tresponse #7 by thecatburgler: Cherry Bomb Bomb Iran. ntresponse #9 by bronxiteforever: A "McSame"-2 scoops of vanilla with plenty of nutsresponse #15 by NRaleighLiberal: Conservative McSwirlPasty vanilla ice cream with an unidentifiable lump, with a vanilla Ensure swirl and chunks of dried prunes. It is very boring to eat, even with "my friends". Tastes the same as the flavor "Dubya Disaster", though that flavor contains bits of cleared brush, cigarette ashes and chunks of pickles instead of the Ensure. response #25 by Phentex: Trollop's Stolen Cookie Dough:hi: response #37 by SalmonChantedEvening: Combovers and Cream:D response #43 by bushmeat: McCrusty's Campaign CrunchRazed Rainforest Brazil Nuts, White(s only) Chocolate Chunks, Red-White & Blueblood Truffles, Freeze-Dried Lobbyist-Fed Leeches, Puritan Brand Prunes, and one (in each pint) Angry-As-Hell Novelty Keepsake Fire Ant (hygienically manufactured out of plastic in China). response #46 by LiberalEsto: McLame SurprisePlain boring artificially flavored vanilla with chunks of Big Oil and a Geritol swirl. response #50 by jmondine: George W. Bushresponse #52 by Botany: Old Fashioned "Fuck-ity Up"Or maybe "Keating's 5 Flavors" response #62 by ColbertWatcher: Budweiser Sorbet.His wife delivers it and he provides all the air. response #73 by grannylib: McInania Nutsresponse #80 by The Gunslinger: "I hope thats pudding"response #82 by krispos42: McThorazine SurpriseVanilla ice cream bleached for extra whiteness, mixed with plenty of rehashed, rotten nuts and a stiff dose of thorazine so you just... won't... care... response #86 by jazzjunkysue: Arizona Carsonomaresponse #95 by behave: Grumpy Lumpyresponse #105 by Lautremont: Pieces O' Walnutor P.O.W. for short. or maybe Caramel Crazyeyes or Turkey in the Strawberry response #107 by Phoebe Loosinhouse: Chunky Flunkyresponse #109 by Seldona: McCain DelightOne cake shaped brick of bullshit aged about 70 years or so, and a shitload of red, white, and blue frosting. Let's not forget to put the little green toy soldiers on top along with some white crosses. Maybe get some brown-people candles that smell like napalm when you light them... response #113 by johnfunk: Codger Michelob Swirl with Aricept CrunchNot for sale in Czechoslovakia. response #118 by Peake: Between Iraq and a Tart Place sorbet.response #130 by beac: Damn Gramm Economy ScamYou think it tastes like sh!t, but it's all in your head. Stop whining! unnumbered response by VancSouthpaw: Cherry Atricresponse #162 by 48percenter: Grumpy Old FartPumpkin ice cream (resembling baby shit) with chunks of Fruitcake. Lots of nuts and a dollop of trollop on top. response #182 by SaveAmerica: Chicle Slovakia "It IS a flavor" "No, it isn't, sir"An honorable mention to the dozens and dozens more cool ideas...
GD, July 20, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3650202 On a thread by thewiseguy: Is the "War on Terror" winnable?response #2 by Lautremont: As much so as the "War on Grumpiness,"or the "War on Nervousness," or that other major battle undertaken by Bushco, the "War on Common Sense, Decency and Historical Redemption." response #7 by beac: We need a "War on Waging War on Nouns"I say, we declare unsubstantiated victory, Bush-style, against nouns and start carpet bombing the adjectives and adverbs. response #6 by OnceUponTimeOnTheNet: Not really. Just enjoy your life, eat well, and have great sex.And shoot immediate threats, with a shotgun. Rifles suck in close parameters. GDP, July 20, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6520728 On a thread by Botany: Almost 7 years after 9/11; The Bush Admin puts bin Laden's driver on trialresponse #10 by sfexpat2000: It's like getting Al Capone's paper boyand torturing him. response #14 by trof: Bet that's got al Qaida shakin' in their sandals."Holy Shit, Osama! They got the chauffeur! They'll be coming after the butler next!" response #16 by gatorboy: bin Laden's florist is in deep shit.response #24 by Jack Rabbit: Does any one here think the White House chauffeur should be charged with war crimes?Then what makes this guy public enemy number 1? GD, July 20, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3647612 OP by Quixote1818: Screw those who say Obama can't put a Republican on his cabinet!Here is my Dream Team for Obama: :P VP: Tom DeLay Treasury: William J. Bennett AG: Bill O'Reilly Defence: Bill Kristol State: John Bolton Energy: Jeffrey Skilling Education: Michael Savage INS: Oliver North VA: Dick Cheney FEMA: Mike Brown Joint Chiefs: Don Rumsfield Special Advisor (Arms Control): Richard N. Perle National Poverty Commission: Anne Coulter Council of Economic Advisors: Phil Gramm Special Advisor (Global Outreach): Sean Hannity UN Ambassador: James Dobson Almost forgot! Press secretary: Rush Limbaugh :wow: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :yoiks: GDP, July 20, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6519780 Poll question by Occam Bandage: So, given the breathless front-page coverage that Obama's Iraq trip is getting,does John McCain: :bluebox: Regret complaining that the media wasn't talking about Obama and Iraq? :bluebox: Really regret complaining that the media wasn't talking about Obama and Iraq? response #1 by MrModerate: Is asking his campaign staff . . ."Tell me again why the f*ck we insisted he go to Iraq?" (Uh, John, we thought it'd take him out of the campaign loop for at least a week.) "You did? Well you're a f*cking moron." (Yes sir. But we also thought that the press would stay here and pay attention to us.) "Well that f*cking worked like gangbusters! They're all following him around like hound dogs in heat!" (Well, yes . . . but there's always a chance he'll screw up and lose credibilty on the international stage.) "F*ck! Never mind. Where did you say Czechoslovakia was again?" At press time, "Really regret complaining that the media wasn't talking about Obama and Iraq?" was winning with 92% of the votes.
GDP, July 21, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6520940 On a thread by thepurpose: Did Andrea Freaking Mitchell just say that Obama was asked fake questions becauseresponse #5 by MidwestTransplant: She has a serious radio face. I can't watch her. Plus she is annyoing so I wouldn't listen to hereither. response #10 by JackORoses: just imagine the look on that face when out pop Greenspan's old ballsI envision cracked porcelain GDP, July 21, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6523483 On a thread by sabra: Rice limits embassies' aid for candidates"Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice has instructed U.S. overseas missions to provide only minimal support to foreign visits by the two main presidential candidates, Sens. Barack Obama and John McCain, forbidding diplomats to hold events or arrange meetings for them..." response #1 by gratuitous: Let me guessThese new rules were promulgated just in time for Obama's tour, but the resulting embarrassment of their publication will cause them to be withdrawn whenever McThuselah decides to shuffle his dumpy white ass over to the Middle East for a series of gaffes and photo ops. Did I win? Do I get a cookie? Or is the game so transparent now than even a four-year-old can see these things coming a mile away? LBN, July 21, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3403380 Poll question by Gilligan: Whose Fault Is It?McCain says Obama is to blame for high fuel costs... For some reason, I aint buyin' it. So, who is to blame? :bluebox: Kitler did it. He is the God of fuel :bluebox: Anyone from Kal-ee-forn-yaaa - We hate cars here!!!! :bluebox: Everyone knows Joan Rivers did this. Just look at her for Kee-rists Sake. :bluebox: I am an agnostic so don't ask me. :bluebox: I don't care, I'm drunk when I post most of the time :bluebox: I like polls :bluebox: O.J.'s Dream Team - Those bastards killed the metal... Now we must all bow down to the evil overlords of DISCO! :bluebox: Distractions are for girlie men. I eat the Washington Post with just a little garlic butter and salt :bluebox: Other :bluebox: Other - other - I mean if that other other is not the one you want, this is it response #1 by Indenturedebtor: The other other. You know them enviroterromentalistsThey took our jobs and put these homosexual thoughts in ma noggin :grr: response #5 by JenniferZ: Everyone knows it's other. And NOT other-other. Other-otheris just a distraction from the real culprit, which is obviously other. Listen up sheeple, the media wants you to believe it's other-other. Don't buy into the MSM garbage. It's definitely OTHER. At press time, "Other - other - I mean if that other other is not the one you want, this is it" was winning with 30% of the votes.
GDP, July 22, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6524816 OP by fiziwig: Obama started manipulating oil prices when he was 17 years old!McCain says in his new attack ad that oil prices are Obama's fault. Yet he is on record previously as stating that the rise in oil prices has been thirty years in the making. Do the math. 30 years ago Obama was 17 years old, so he must have started affecting oil prices while he was still in high school! WOW! Imagine that. A high school student launching a scheme to push up oil prices. It boggles the mind. response #4 by ellacott: Obama has lived very full lifeHe was planning his run for President in the Kindergarten; at 8 he was plotting with the Ayers on where to place bombs and now at 17 he was on his laptop manipulating the stock exchange. Wow, what a guy. GDP, July 22, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6526789 On a thread by JDPriestly: How do you think Republicans plan to distract from the huge welcome that Obama gets in Germany?response #1 by ZombieHorde: McCain's huge welcome at IHOP.response #2 by opihimoimoi: Larry Craig will do the Seppuku on the Capital steps tomorrow...Vitter will be the 2nd.response #10 by SoonerPride: Seriously, I'd watch that.I can Tivo Obama, but I'd watch that shit LIVE response #5 by global1: McCain Will Announce That They Caught Hitler.......ntGDP, July 22, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6527247 On a thread by NNN0LHI: Window washer fell about 82 feet before his safety harness kicked in"A window washer in Gold Coast, Qld., Australia, was working nine storys up when he fell about 25 meters (82 ft) before his safety harness kicked in, bringing him to a quick stop. The 20-year-old man was hospitalized for three injuries: a fractured arm, a fractured pelvis, and what he described to co-workers as 'a big wedgie'. A co-worker said 'He's lucky to be alive...'" response #1 by flvegan: 9 storys up is 90 feet give or take, right?Falling 82' of 90'...at least the "big wedgie" probably pushed the shit back in. response #3 by DS1: TA DAAAH!The Lounge, July 22, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7945993 On a thread by kskiska: McCain to counterprogram Obama in Germany with visit to Gulf Coast oil rigresponse #1 by wienerdoggie: DRAMATIC!! EXCITING!!! HISTORIC!!!!BTW, please be sure to wear the oversized hard-hat, goggles and safety harness that they'll offer you...and then make sure to have your picture taken in them. response #12 by wryter2000: LOLI wonder if a tank will fit on a drilling rig. He'd look really cool in a hard hat in a tank. response #2 by meegbear: Oooooh! I wonder if Chris Matthews will haw over McCain's bulge?response #17 by IanDB1: It's not nice to make fun of McCain's face. n/tresponse #10 by hatrack: If this is the rate of increase in the Fucked-Uppedness Factor to date ...Can you imagine the state of his campaign by mid-October? They'll be handwriting campaign flyers on parchment before dropping them from dirigibles! They'll be demanding an end to the menace of these new-fangled "Motor-Cars" on their wireless broadcasts! They'll be handing out free bottles of Jack Daniels and squares of fiberglass insulation when McCain drops in at a day-care center! LBN, July 23, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3406584 On a thread by book_worm: If McCain decided to do his own European tour--how do you think it would go?response #1 by sniffa: First he'd visit Czechoslovakia before visiting Yugoslavia and the Republic of Sperska Then, the ancient island of Atlantis for some sun, before showing his mettle by visiting the dangerous border region of Iraq and Pakistan. response #11 by treestar: He would show his bravery by going to the USSRAfter a talk with the Politiboro, he would head for Berlin to see the wall. Then he would make his way to Yugoslavia where he would warn against the failures of socialism. After that, he would go to France - scratch that, he wouldn't want to go to such an anti-Amurkan country. He would then go to see King George in London after a stopover on Monte Carlo to see Princess Grace. GD, July 23, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3664726 OP by MilesColtrane: Just got a 13% pay cut.Whole band was fired from our regular wednesday night gig we've been doing since 2003. Now trying to come up with ways to tighten the budget belt. Your recommendations are welcome. 1) Wash and recycle dental floss. (must find tiny clothespins for drying) 2) Cheerios: meat substitute. 3) Cancel subscription to "Torso" magazine. 4) Only string bass with two strings, instead of four. (should be no problem for country or punk gigs) 5) To trim costs on "Friends and Family" plan, piss off some friends, disown some family. 6) Instead of buying new tuxedo, take black shoe polish to old plaid sport coat. 7) Instead of Netflix for entertainment, visit local retirement home and listen to old person's story about "the time Edna -Edna was my Uncle Murray's housekeeper- got herself locked in the basement looking for a new box of Biz when she ran out while doing the laundry" . 8) Instead of $10 haircut at Clip Job, learn how to use a Flowbie™. 9) If traveling somewhere for a one week vacation is way too expensive way to get needed rest, then three words: Self Induced Coma. 10) Only spend 23 hours a day on Democratic Underground. The Lounge, July 24, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7950654 On a thread by kpete: McCain To Be In German Restaurant While Obama Gives Berlin Speech (not a joke)response #2 by Tandalayo_Scheisskopf: "Ich bin ein Sauerbraten!"response #11 by Solly Mack: That's called bratwurst envy. And McRage is ate-the-fuck-up with it.response #13 by Alter Ego: He'll be waving a beerstein wildly around and screaming "Look! Look at me!I can be German too! ICH BIN EIN JACKASS!" response #14 by Supersedeas: Freedom Snausages and American Cheese candidate - there's personality politics and there'scheese politics GD, July 24, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3668235 On a thread by Amerigo Vespucci: McCain is at the Sausage Haus German Restaurant in Ohio while Obama is actually in Germany"The presidential race, it seems has boiled down to who has the greatest German appeal. McCain's appearance at Schmidts' restaurant, a 'Sausage Haus' comes after the RNC launched several advertisements in towns named Berlin. Among the items he may have ordered include: Sauerkraut-Bratwurst Balls, Hoffbrau Schnitzel, or the Bratwurst, voted the "Best Wurst" by Columbus Monthly..." response #10 by Sentinel Chicken: Cheese one day and sausage the next?!!!Better double up on the Lipitor tonight John. response #5 by aint_no_life_nowhere: Is he going to Paris, Texas tomorrow for French toast?response #6 by Jake3463: Freedom ToastWhat do you support the french or something :sarcasm: response #36 by Perragrande: He could go on a world tour in Texas!!Less stress on the old guy's heart, too. Not just Paris, Texas. Carthage, Texas Palestine, Texas Athens, Texas Iraan, Texas New Ulm, Texas Muenster, Texas Bogata, Texas Corinth, Texas China Grove, Texas (Doobie Brothers song) Dublin, Texas Earth, Texas Edinburg, Texas Egypt, Texas Elysian Fields, Texas Florence, Texas Italy, Texas Karnack, Texas Lancaster, Texas Merkel, Texas New Boston, Texas New Waverly, Texas Odessa, Texas Ravenna, Texas Roma, Texas Trinidad, Texas Turkey, Texas Utopia, Texas Waterloo, Texas Tokio, Texas Nazareth, Texas London, Texas Even a little space travel: Venus, Texas Rising Star, Texas Star, Texas Aurora, Texas Places McCain might especially like: White Settlement, Texas Whitehouse, Texas Uncertain, Texas Trophy Club, Texas Shallowater, Texas Rancho Viejo, Texas (old ranch) Nixon, Texas Hoop and Holler, Texas Cut 'n' Shoot, Texas Goodnight, Texas Gun Barrel City, Texas Flat, Texas Ding Dong, Texas Dish, Texas Comfort, Texas Moody, Texas Oatmeal, Texas Sour Lake, Texas Coolidge, Texas Places McCain would avoid: Fairy, Texas Bacon, Texas Veribest, Texas Best, Texas Castroville, Texas Cool, Texas Elevation, Texas Friendship, TExas Gay Hill, Texas Happy, Texas Hemphill, Texas Hempstead, Texas High, Texas New Harmony, Texas Forney, Texas I've just amused myself too much!!! :rofl: GDP, July 24, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6535011 OP by Alter Ego: CNN BREAKING: JOHN McCAIN CHOOSES VP CANDIDATEPosted 4 minutes, 15 seconds ago AP(WASHINGTON)--Republican presidential candidate John McCain has selected a running mate for the 2008 contest with his Democratic rival, Barack Obama. The choice? A small plastic cup containing two Cialis pills. "This is very exciting for us," said McCain campaign spokesman Tucker Bounds. "We believe Senator McCain's choice will help his constituency rise to the occasion in time for the November elections." The RNC also released a statement through spokesman Alex Conant. "I'm a tool," Conant said. "I'm a tool, I'm a tool, I'm a tool tool tool. I'm sorry, what was the question again?" GDP, July 24, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6534048 OP by Happyhippychick: Is it just me or is anyone just freaking gleeful?This overseas trip is truly the best thing that Obama could have done. Now the Israelis prefer him to McCain (I can post the poll in case somebody else hasn't done it). The world respects him, the world loves him. McCain is whining in front of a cheese display at the supermarket. I feel completely high in a non-paranoid way. :) response #1 by SemiCharmedQuark: Nuh Uh. He's whining in front of a German shop.response #5 by truebrit71: ..actually it was the highly appropriate "Fudge Haus".......you can't make that shit up.... :rofl: response #6 by SemiCharmedQuark: Yeah but there were literally ones of people there to see him.response #8 by truebrit71: He was there with all of his friend........ :evilgrin: GDP, July 24, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6535507 OP by HawkeyeX: If this place was Free Republic - what would our usernames be?Probably WinchesterIIIX or FrankBurnsX or something like that would be mine. Post what you think! response #5 by terrya: terryNRAresponse #7 by Richardo: TaxCutsForTheRichardoresponse #11 by DS1: WritingInHillary08:hide: response #12 by greendog: JesusTrukNutzresponse #14 by ih8thegop: iluvthegopresponse #19 by GoPsUx: gOpRoX:D response #20 by Writer: Right-er.Har har harrrrr. Har. response #21 by CreekDog: FreepDog:think: response #23 by DarkTirade: I would have to sustain head trauma before logging onto that site.So my screen name would probably be something like fddddddddd../ response #30 by derby378: derby9/11:evilgrin: response #40 by BlueIris: ImaStud. HummerTown. BigD. ElephantMan.And pretty much everything else that could possibly suggest "pathetically insecure." response #42 by Gormy Cuss: Name Removed.I don't think that I'd last long. response #46 by Oregonian: Buttscratcherresponse #51 by mycritters2: killthecritters2 ntresponse #52 by datasuspect: ChristsFistofGlroyresponse #53 by DS1: works better with the typo:thumbsup: response #65 by Chovexani: Sugar Tits 4 Jeezusresponse #73 by Inspired: Insipidresponse #74 by PelosiFan: PelosiHater... oh wait, that works here toooh well response #77 by Phentex: PhairtaxI tried Phartax but it looked like Fart-Ax. response #79 by NewEnglandGirl: ToHellWithNE1ButMe n/tresponse #98 by prodn2000: Proudof2000:shrug: response #102 by Lilith Velkor: Lily Whiteassresponse #103 by bikebloke: SUVMommy'sBoyAnd a Brazilian more...
The Lounge, July 24, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7952473 On a thread by sabra: Condi Rice looking forward to "getting back to shopping" after Bush administration"When Condoleezza Rice's term in office ends, she is looking forward to 'getting back to shopping', she says. The US secretary of state told girls at a school in Perth, Australia, that she used to 'hit the stores' with her mother on Sunday mornings after church. 'It's a great pastime, shopping. I love it, even if I don't buy anything. I just love going to the stores to look...'" response #2 by navarth: Blood-Soaked War Criminal Rice oughta be shopping for prison stripes."Does this orange color make my butt look too big?" response #13 by Benhurst: Do they have boutiques at The Hague?GD, July 25, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3673356 On a thread by kskiska: Israeli paper publishes Obama Western Wall prayer"A written prayer that Barack Obama left this week in the cracks of the Western Wall, Judaism's holiest site, asks God to guide him and guard his family, an Israeli newspaper reported Friday..." response #5 by SpiralHawk: BREAKING: George AWOL Bush's prayer published"Dear Yahweh Dude, Please help me and my cabal of republicon cronies to continue to reap massive profits, maintain a fascist grip on the noisy little American proles who refuse to drink the kool aid and pledge fealty to The Republicon Homeland, and help us find ways to continue to cover up our lies, corruption, and treason. I promise, you will get a cut of the action. Smirk." - George AWOL Bush, Skull & Boner Bad Boy Occultist LBN, July 25, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3409392 OP by FarLeftRage: Pictures of a mccain presidency....GDP, July 18, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6515459OP by MrScorpio: 9:12 AM MondayGDP, July 19, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6516978On a thread by FLDem5: UGH! I just got 'The Real Cindy McCain' chain email.response #10 by beacGDP, July 20, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6520611OP by berni_mccoy: MCCAIN IS MISSING!response #18 by bleeverGDP, July 20, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6518225OP by evilkumquat: New Democratic Party Slogan RevealedGD, July 21, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3656423OP by Drunken Irishman: Image is everything, Obama should use something like this in his ad.GDP, July 21, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6522888OP by Maddy McCall: Congrats, DS1. The official photoshopper of the Lounge magazine.response #9 by DS1response #10 by mainegreenThe Lounge, July 21, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7941144OP by Archae: Michelangelo's "David" returns to Italy...response #6 by ForrestGumpThe Lounge, July 21, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7943793On a thread by babylonsister: John McCain: Americans Are Tired Of The Blogosphereresponse #24 by paxmusaGDP, July 21, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6522814On a thread by flpoljunkie: PHOTO: BARACK OBAMA arrives in Israel, makes remarks beside his campaign planeresponse #3 by YouphemismGDP, July 22, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6526870OP by helderheid: MSNBC: BREAKING NEWSresponse #1 by DuStrangeresponse #3 by KamaAinaresponse #4 by ih8thegopThe Lounge, July 22, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7945830OP by DuStrange: And now...the latest J. Chick tract. Pic heavy, baby!The Lounge, July 23, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7948698OP by mcctatas: My 5 year old learned an important lesson from the cat today...The Lounge, July 23, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7950254OP by zulchzulu: Photoshop fun with the McCain posterresponse #1 by Zynxresponse #16 by Bleachers7response #7 by undergroundpantherresponse #11 by IkonoklastGDP, July 23, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6532683OP by sheeptramp: Caption McCains supermarket photo opresponse #1 by exothermicresponse #3 by tridimresponse #5 by SoCalDemresponse #7 by Bornaginhooliganresponse #10 by Turbineguyresponse #12 by liberal N proudresponse #19 by ColbertWatcherresponse #14 by ColbertWatcherresponse #15 by Liberal Veteranresponse #17 by XOKCowboyresponse #18 by Kierkegaardresponse #25 by Sabrielresponse #38 by bulloneyresponse #44 by SmileyRoseGD, July 23, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3665562OP by grantcart: McCain Campaign: Pictures are not fair -- clear thinking not fairGDP, July 23, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6531620OP by NightWatcher: Who is John McCain? (this pictograph will explain)response #1 by lonestarnotresponse #2 by jimshoesresponse #3 by calimaryGD, July 23, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3663437OP by TheZug: My Version of the Creepy McCain PosterGDP, July 23, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6531347OP by lame54: Who Is The Better Dribbler? - Obama or McCain?GD, July 23, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3664225On a thread by MN Against Bush: Caption this pictureresponse #1 by mcctatasresponse #2 by SoonerPrideresponse #3 by RoyGBivresponse #8 by aint_no_life_nowhereresponse #10 by bobbiejoresponse #11 by LowerManhattaniteGDP, July 23, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6532440On a thread by helderheid: Bush 08?response #2 by loveable liberalresponse #4 by liberal N proudGD, July 23, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3663059OP by dancingme: That golf cart photo reminds me ofresponse #3 by VolcanoJenresponse #6 by FSogolGDP, July 23, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6530382On a thread by jefferson_dem: Obama Overseas! In Presidential Mode! Back Home, It’s McCain in a Golf Cart. (NYT)response #6 by FSogolGDP, July 23, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6529529On a thread by LeftyMom: Rescue Kitties, as promised.response #6 by sasquatchThe Lounge, July 23, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7949483OP by RNdaSilva: ****** The 44th President of the United States of America ******response #4 by BushDespiser12response #11 by RNdaSilvaGDP, July 23, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6528986OP by Richardo: Photo of Obama not connecting with white people...response #8 by chimpsrsmarterGDP, July 24, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6536743OP by Steve_DeShazer: MAJOR fashion alertresponse #3 by Captain Angryresponse #9 by SmileyRoseresponse #11 by Lasherresponse #12 by DCKitresponse #24 by Virginia Dareresponse #29 by Contrary1response #33 by DS1GD, July 24, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3666944OP by prodn2000: Interesting Factoid: When Barack Obama wins in November....GDP, July 24, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6538125OP by Lex: Hey, did you hear McSame had a political rally today? (pic)response #2 by lob1GD, July 24, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3670597OP by Breeze54: I opened DU's HTML Look Up Table and look what I got !!! WTF?!response #1 by sui generisresponse #2 by Bleachers7response #3 by BushDespiser12response #4 by EmperorHasNoClothesresponse #5 by postulaterresponse #6 by arcadianresponse #12 by sabraresponse #13 by islandmklresponse #15 by Solly Mackresponse #17 by IDemoGD, July 25, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3676527
|