Yesterday, one year ago,my son hung himself

[easttexaslefty]

And much to my amazement,I am still alive.In a moment of panic he made a rash decision. One that will haunt me all the days of my life.I think of him every second, every moment, every hour and everyday of my life.
Yesterday we did a balloon release. We had 50 balloons that we tied messages on to. We told him we loved him and missed him and that we hope he is at peace.The balloons floated off together, and we watched them until they were no longer in sight.I tried to remember his often joyful life and not the terrible end.I am lucky to have such a sweet, gentle soul as my son.I am grateful for the 33 years he was with me.
So much needs to be done, regarding suicide. It is much more common than people think, Do this grieving mother a favor and check out www.afsp.org. Learn the signs and what you can do. Contribute what you can to community walks, such as, OUT OF THE DARKNESS COMMUNITY WALKS www.outofthedarkness.org. Walk with us and give us your support.Please remember that suicide is not the answer and chose life.

[yardwork]

1. I am so sorry.

As a mother of two teenage sons, I can't imagine what you have gone through. I am so, so sorry for your loss.

[easttexaslefty]

92. I love each and every one of you

and I thank you for the outpouring of love and support. I commend all who shared their stories. Again, thanks, on behalf of our family and all who have lost someone they love to suicide

[codjh9]

2. I'm so sorry. But I'm glad YOU are still alive. I've dealt with numerous big losses

as well.

[VeraAgnes]

3. Here ya go.........

:hug:

[panader0]

4. So sorry...................

[Fla Dem]

5. So very sorry for you. I hope both you and your son are at peace.

:grouphug:

[nini]

6. ...

:hug: I can't even begin to imagine the pain you've gone through.

Thanks for reminding people how to help and way to do if we see the signs.

[ThatsMyBarack]

7. That's the kind of "Choose Life" I like!

That and "Donate Life: Be an Organ Donor!" :D

[Sukie]

8. So very sorry

for your loss. As parents we don't want to outlive our children. My best to you and your family.

[Mari3333]

9. from another mom whose son also passed on

i am sending you love today, and more love. my son crossed over in 2006. i know how hard this is, and i am beside you all the way. this is truly the most difficult thing that is. and i have been a widow twice. thats nothing compared to this.
i truly believe our children are always with us in spirit and watch over us.
hugs, and more hugs to you.
and infinite love.
:hug:
marianne, joeys mom.

[elizfeelinggreat]

10. sorry for your loss

Wishing you peace.

[blm]

11. Peace to you and your family.

(( ))

[DrDan]

12. thanks for sharing - it must have been extremely hard

but if you can make us more aware, it is certainly worth it.

So sorry.

[malaise]

13. Suicide is hardest for those left behind

Glad to see you're not just grieving but also trying to make a difference. :grouphug:

[frustrated_lefty]

14. Parent to parent, my thoughts are with you.

[firedupdem]

17. My sister committed suicide in 2005 leaving a young son...

I too struggle everyday. God Bless you! I know how you feel.

[easttexaslefty]

55. Thank you for sharing your story

of loss. I wish you peace.

[goclark]

15. Prayers for you and the family

Thank you for sharing your feelings with us, your DU family

[soleft]

16. I will check out that website

Wishing you the greatest comfort and peace.

[mmonk]

18. Thank you so much for the links.

My son sometimes shows signs of depression over social matters. We're trying to remain vigilent and proactive. I'm so sorry for your loss. Keep the good memories of him in your heart.

[easttexaslefty]

57. thank you very much

there are many good memories of my life with Danny
Good luck with your son.{{{{HUG}}}}

[mmonk]

70. Thanks

:hug:

[The Straight Story]

19. Thank you for posting this

It is a very important message, and I am very sorry to hear of your loss. :hug:

[sonias]

20. I virtual hug for your today easttexaslefty

I hope that you will continue to celebrate your son's life and work for groups that help prevent suicide.

Thank you.

:hug:


Sonia

[easttexaslefty]

21. Thank you so much everyone

who has responded so far. Suicide has such a stigma and needs so much more research money

[madmax]

22. So very sorry

:hug:

[faithfulcitizen]

23. I am so sorry. One of my best friends committed suicide when we were 14. We had no idea

how badly she was hurting. I also had a 12 year old cousin commit suicide. It's serves a reminder to me that we never really know how those we love are interpreting their world. The best we can do is try to respond with compassion and open loving arms.

As much as I was hurt, I cannot even imagine losing a child this way. You sound like an amazing person. Peace be with you.:hug:

[easttexaslefty]

58. it is so

difficult to stop if they don't let you see what's going on inside.hugs back to you

[Irishonly]

24. I am so sorry

Three years ago my husband's brother shot himself. My sil had just gotten back from taking my niece to school and knew something was wrong. She called my husband and I called 911 begging them to get there before he did. They didn't and my husband has never recovered from finding the body. The only reason he was home that awful day was because we were taking him to a psychiatrist and we missed the warning signs.

One of my cousin's son committed suicide five years ago. We still release balloons on his birthday. My family lives all over the country and the balloons were released in six different states. We always pray for their peace of heart.

Bless you and I pray your memories can bring a smile to your heart.

[easttexaslefty]

59. That is why i think it is important

to share our story when we are stong enough to do so.:hug:

[ogneopasno]

25. I will keep you in my thoughts.

nt.

[bigscott]

26. God Bless You

A good friend of mine just lost her son - not to suicide but..

I don't know if I could deal with losing my son.

God Bless you always

Peace

S:hug:

[cascadiance]

27. Sorry to hear that! 9/11 must be especially harder for you each year!

Best of wishes to your family... Hopefully 2009 will bring better tidings for you and all of us to offset this...

[mrs_p]

28. i can't possibly understand your pain

but my heart goes out to you (as i'm crying). my research partner also took his own life - though he madly loved his daughter and was one of the most gentle souls i ever knew. nothing we said could drown out the depression. thank you for posting.

[girl gone mad]

29. I lost one of my best friends to suicide..

caused by racism.

I can still look across any room and see him turning to steal a glance back at me. He is always with me, and I always long to say the things I was too stupid to say then.

I think a small part of me majored in physics to prove that time travel was possible and I could make it different. Stupid I know, but I guess it's human nature to want to fix things.

Thank you for sharing this.

[shadowknows69]

35. I've lost a couple friends to it too.

:grouphug:

[easttexaslefty]

60. shadowknows69, girlgonemad, and mrs_p

I think it helps others to see the pain of what suicide brings. Thank you for sharing those difficult stories

[Highway61]

30. I am so sorry

I lost a child as well so I know how you feel. It's been 5 years and have learned to simply adjust to the loss. There isn't a day I don't miss her from the depths of my soul. Each day will get a little better for you, I promise. PM me if you ever need to reach out and talk. Bless you and know you are in my prayers.

[OHDEM]

31. I'm sorry.

You're grief is unimaginable & your strength unbelievable. :hug:

[shadowknows69]

32. Thank you for this post

You honor your son more than you know. If it gives you any comfort consider this. I'm using this thread and your story as one of the reasons I won't make that wrong decision today. It is in fact a decision I and most depressives must make every day of our lives. Thank you for reminding us that it is more important to fight for your own life for the sake of those that love you.
S

[tavalon]

43. Now, I remember.

Thank you. I've been mired in a lot of anger towards my stepsons mother because she keeps attempting suicide. I had forgotten, because the medications allow me to be blessedly depression free, that during the depth of depression, choosing life is an exhausting daily, nay, hourly choice. I had forgotten. I never, ever thought I would forget. I can't tell you how simultaneously embarrassing and blessed it feels to have forgotten just for a bit.

That is such a hard decision. Thank you for continuing to make the harder choice - for life. May it one day get easier. May you forget one day that it was such a hard, onerous place, choosing life.

[easttexaslefty]

66. that was beautiful, thank you

[wtmusic]

33. Marie, thank you for sharing

your tragic experience and maybe sparing someone else pain.

So sorry to hear about your loss.

[Old and In the Way]

34. There can be no greater pain a parent may confront in life than a loss such as yours.

Thanks for sharing this deeply personal aspect of your life.

[Tikki]

36. So sorry.....

It is an almost other-worldly experience. I grieve for you and find comfort
in knowing that there is peace with you, also.
I've been touched by suicide...someone I was waiting for to get his life a little more
under control and then I'd get back in contact with him...

I miss my friend
RWP...RIP


Tikki

[easttexaslefty]

37. Thank you again

everyone for the love, the support, and the comfort. It helps more than you will ever know

[remedy1]

38. I am so sorry...

My son took his life in May. I know how hard it is. There are days that I can hardly breathe. I miss him so much.

My deepest condolences.

[Mari3333]

39. sending hugs to you too remedy

:hug:
i know about those days when you can hardly breath. sending you love and light also. my son crossed in 2006.
:hug:
marianne, joeys mom

[myrna minx]

40. My heart breaks for you.

:hug:

[ladyVet]

53. I'm so sorry.

For you and Marie and the others who have lived through this sorrow. I almost lost my son to suicide several years ago, but literally at the last moment he changed his mind and committed himself to the psychiatric ward. Today is his 28th birthday, and while he still suffers with mental illness, at least I have him here. I remember how terrible that phone call was, I just can't imagine what you both have been through. :grouphug:

[City Lights]

64. Heartfelt condolences to you, remedy1.

:hug:

[easttexaslefty]

67. Oh remedy, I wish i could PM you

It is so fresh and raw for you, I know. Have you attended a survivors of suicide group in your area? It helps, it really does.Also there are several online support groups. I lean on my POS family {{parents of suicide]]]to keep me sane. I am so incredibly sad for you and your family. If you ever, ever need to talk, please give me a shout out.:hug: :hug: :hug: :pals:

[qanda]

79. I am so sorry

You have my condolences. ((((remedy1))))

[annarbor]

41. I wish you peace....

[myrna minx]

42. I am so sorry. My heart is with yours.

:hug:

[renate]

44. I'm so sorry

My deepest, most heartfelt sympathy goes to you and to everyone here who's lost a loved one to suicide.

The grief of losing a child is unfathomably, unimaginably deep... the very core of your being is cut out. I admire the bravery of every bereaved parent who manages to get out of bed, let alone the ones who, like you, take the extra step of trying to help others avoid the pain that you were not spared.

:cry: and :hug:

[live love laugh]

45. I am sorry. nt

[tavalon]

46. One of your other posters reminded me of when I was depressed

I had somehow forgotten what it was like. I had also forgotten just how secretive and able to pretend that all was well I was. People who have known me in the two stages can see the difference but a few have said (rightly, I believe) that they had no idea I was suicidal at the time. I wouldn't have let anyone in during that time.

I'm sure you've gone over it a million times but I'm also sure you did your best with the information you had at the time. I'm so sorry this happened in your life.

[deutsey]

47. I'm deeply sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing you message of hope.

[ColoradoMagician]

48. You are a wonderful person

Thank you for sharing your love.

[fishjones]

49. THANKS for posting this !!!!!!!

I just donated to Out of the Darkness.
My aunt in Austin lost her son, and is walking for the cause.

[easttexaslefty]

54. Good for you!

thank you for all of who have someone to suicide

[Stuart G]

50. I am sorry for your loss

[NikolaC]

51. I Am So Very Sorry

for your terrible loss :hug: . I hope for peace for you and your family through each day.

[lady raven]

52. no subject

Thank you for sharing with us. I am deeply sorry for your loss and I am glad to hear that you have gotten through the first year. I can't imagine the pain you must feel. (((((HUG)))))

[ccvirgo911]

56. I am so very sorry

For the loss of your precious son. I lost my sweet Christopher on November 8, 2007. He was 17 years old, the victim of a drunk driver fleeing the police. Your pain resonates so strongly with me. I too, can hardly believe I'm still alive. Some days are so painful, so unimaginable, yet we live through them. Your sweet son must have been in terrible pain. I'm sure that he has found peace and joy. The fact that you are able to celebrate his life in this way shows that you are slowly becoming able to accept the loss and focus more on who he was, not how he died.
This is a quote that was in the latest Compassionate Friends newsletter I received. Michael Gartner wrote about the sudden loss of his 17-year old son Christopher to juvenile diabetes:
"Tim Russert of NBC called, devastated as we all are, and said the only thing that has helped. "If God had come to you 17 years ago and said, 'I'll make you a bargain. I'll give you a beautiful, wonderful, happy and healthy kid for 17 years, and then I'll take him away,' you would have made that deal in a second." And that was the deal."
Praying for you and yours.:hug:

[City Lights]

61. So sorry for your loss, easttexaslefty.

:cry: Peace to you. :hug:

Thank you for the links.

[Stinky The Clown]

62. There are now words, really ......

Just a hug and a shared tear.

[Greybnk48]

63. My heart breaks for you. I'm so sorry. n/t

[FedUpWithIt All]

65. I am so sorry.

:hug:

[bunkerbuster1]

68. The last thing any parent wants to write, but I'm glad you wrote it.

Thank you, and may you continue to find a strength and a purpose to this brief time we have on Earth.

[Zookeeper]

69. Oh, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, ETL!

Thank you for passing along the links.

:hug:

[jesus_of_suburbia]

71. Thank you for writing. It reminds us all who have ever thought about it that those left behind are

hurt.


Perhaps if your son had seen a post like yours, he would have thought twice.


Thank you for sharing, and I send you a hug through the internet.


If there is an afterlife, you will see him again one day.

[Marnieworld]

72. Thank you. It is very brave of you to share your story.

I lost my sister to suicide in 1998 and it is still very hard for me to discuss. I haven't heard of out of the darkness and I will look into it. So sorry for your loss. I wish I could tell you that it gets better but it really doesn't much. You just get used to it more. Suicide is a special hell. :hug:

[Maraya1969]

73. My God I am so sorry.

:hug: Words fail me.

[calimary]

74. I am so sorry to hear this.

I can't imagine the pain of that... and yes, I believe what you say about it hanging over you every day.

Hell, I know how agonizing it is when the little piddly things hang over you - like the time you forgot to send lunch to school or you left the wet socks in the dryer all night and forgot to turn the dryer on or some such relatively insignificant thing. I cannot imagine something as profound and genuinely earth-shaking as this.

You're in my prayers. So is he.

[BigAnth]

75. Thanks for sharing this. We lost our 15 year old daughter to suicide a little over a year ago.

Your sentiments mirror mine pretty well. I love her, miss her and hope that she is at peace. I was just thinking today about how I don't think that I'll ever really "get over" this. It's something that is now a part of me and I have to get used to it. As a friend of ours who lost her teen daughter to lukemia put it, "You don't get over it, you get used to a new normal."

I miss Bonnie every day and my heart breaks every single day. She was a sweet, smart, lively girl who was also very troubled, and I feel her pain every day. One small consolation is that I think that she is at peace now, and if my heartbreak is the price that has to be paid for that, so be it.

Our local chapter of Survivors of Suicide (SOS) has been a big help. It's a great place to go to talk with people who share your experience and feelings. You hear so many sad stories, but in sharing our stories we form a close bond.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your son.

[qanda]

80. My heart breaks over this thread

There are so many who have such a painful, shared experience. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you continue to grieve your loss.

[sudopod]

76. Kick to the max.

:hug:

[MadMaddie]

77. I am sorry for your loss.

Thank you for sharing the site with us.

I fear my father who is in his late 60's is teetering on the edge of something bad.

I think his doctors are drugging him up and not getting to the root of the problem. I am trying to get my mom to get him committed for observation and serious counseling but I haven't been successful so far.

[Libby2]

78. I'm so sorry, I can't imagine the devastation.

[AzDar]

81. I'm so sorry. May your days to come be easier...

[qanda]

82. I'm glad you made it through the year

It must have been very difficult. My thoughts are with you as you continue to grieve this terrible loss.

[ShortnFiery]

83. I'm so sorry for you loss. eom

[amber_86]

84. I am so sorry

I had two friends that committed suicide. One was in 8th grade then a couple years in 10th grade.

[King Coal]

85. God Bless you. My heart is with you.

[lonestarnot]

86. Ahhhhh no. I am so sorry.

:hug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :hug: We are here for you. We can cry, :hug: and console one another. I am so sorry.

[LWolf]

87. Your thread title

almost drops me to the floor. Literally. The rush of empathy overwhelms me. As one mother of grown sons to another, :hug:

:cry:

Thank you for the links, and for bringing up the topic. I lost a dearly loved relative to suicide when I was 12. I still carry her memory with me. I still send her loving thoughts, and feel regret that we weren't able to reach out to her, to pull her back, when she was at her lowest ebb.

[GreenPartyVoter]

88. *hugs* A nightmare I pray we will never have to deal with

[bertman]

89. Thank you for telling us about the websites. I am sorry for your terrible loss.

[KathieG]

90. So sorry. Thank you for sharing your story.

:pals:

[yellowdogintexas]

91. oh my dear, I lost my father in this fashion, 27 years ago.

my heart goes out to you, and to all who endure this.

There are various survivors groups around the country which I highly recommend

and I know this was very difficult to write, and I am glad you are still with us.

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[jedex]

93. Don't be in denial

I would say that this life sucks so bad that suicide is often a viable answer. Fortunately, it is not often an answer for most, but it is often an answer for some. Life is nothing but pain and disappointment for far too many people. I wish that I had the same courage that your son had. I am a coward and that is the only the reason I am posting here. I wish I was out of this useless and miserable life on this stupid planet. Just look at this country of idiots. Pathetic. They cling to their bibles and guns. It is all so true. They hate me and I hate them. Sheer fucking misery.

[cali]

95. I don't know what to say to you

beyond that I hope things get better for you. And please don't think of yourself as a coward. That just feeds into the despair you feel. I wish I could do something for you.

[progressivebydesign]

131. Please get help if you feel that life is not worth living. I'm worried about you.

Any time my daughters and I discuss friends of theirs who are depressed, or acquaintances to have committed suicide, we talk about how you just never know what is going to happen in a day, in a week, in a year, in someone's life. Things that seemed like the end of the world to my girls, were long since forgotten in a week or two.

Corny? But I remember Billy Joel's song "Second Wind" that was written because he often felt hopeless as a teen, and even thought of suicide. But he got help, and look what his life has been. You just never know what is waiting for you.. but if you seriously feel that like is shit, then please contact some of the resources the OP has posted.

There are so many caring people on DU, that it should be a comfort to know that tens of thousands of us all feel the same away about the direction of the Country. You're not alone.

[easttexaslefty]

132. jedex

I understand that you feel your life sucks.Life really does suck sometimes.Since my son left, I have felt the same feelings you have.
I can only speak for me and my family. I wish beyond believe that my son was still here.I wish he would have figured out a way to stay. I know he is at peace now, but peace is something his family will forever find difficult to achieve.I hope you realize how important and loved you are

[polly7]

94. Easttexaslady and all others

I am so sorry. I hope your loved ones are at peace. My sister tried at age 16 but we were very lucky, as an emt we dealt in a small way with the familes and it was one of the hardest things to do. I'm really very sorry for your losses.

[jedex]

99. This much is certain

For people who succeed in killing themselves, there is one incontrovertible fact: Had anyone really cared about them, they would have been there to prevent the suicide. The people who hurl themselves off the Golden Gate, it's only because no one smiled at them as they walked there. Then they all shed crocodile tears when in fact they never gave a fuck for the person while he or she was alive. In most cases, the person was a pain in the ass for obvious reasons, or else why would they have killed themselves? The truth although painful, is that many people have no reason to live.

[EFerrari]

102. Depression can make living empty or even painful.

And there's no one in the world that can stop that kind of pain with a smile.

[progressivebydesign]

133. Depression is an illness that makes even the most caring gestures invisible.

Of the people I've known that have committed suicide, they all had loving familes and people that tried to get help for them. Depression is like a wall... no love gets in, no matter how hard your friends and family try to convince you. It's not that they're not loved or cared about, it's that they don't believe it. There's a lot of good things out there in the world, but depression (which is a leading cause of suicide) masks you to anything good.

When you say that people jump off a bridge because "no one smiled at them" flies in the face of real life. I've witnessed total strangers risking their own life to save someone who has had an accident. I saved a total stranger, an eldery woman, from falling off of a cliff recently (and certain death to both of us had I not succeeded.) And got help for her. There is good, and people are good. You are not able to see it right now....

Do you have someone you can talk to about this?

[easttexaslefty]

134. Dear jedex

I wish we all could always tell when someone is suicidal. It we could always tell there would be many less suicides. My son was not a pain in the ass and I bet neither are you. You just sound like you are in enormous pain. Depression can really cloud the mind. I know.But,I bet they're people in your life you would be destroyed if you ended your life. Please know I care.

[cowbear]

96. I'm so sorry...

I've been a long time reader here, but never really
participated.  One of my immediate family members committed
suicide 10 years ago this October, so I can only imagine the
pain you are going through.  

I also wanted to thank you for posting those links.  I agree
that this is something that needs support and awareness.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

[undergroundpanther]

97. Sorry it was so bad

Your son hopefully is no longer being tormented.
As for you I wish you peace and someday in some other place or reality be with him again.


I have been very suicidal before and have tried to do it but failed.

I know how pain,stress,emotional and/or physical trauma, injustices or misfortunes that go unheard,when you try to hold it all by yourself it really can drive you to think about death.

I think about it alot.But I have committed to myself I won't do it unless I am in a situation like Guantanamo(torture) or if my physical problems become too much to endure through and there is no way to help or relieve it.

The secrets, pain of rejection,helplessness,
despair,humiliation,depression,trauma,and a billion more unspoken burdens do add up.This is one reason why we need to be there for each other.

I think our culture is too atomized, too scared of moments of weakness,we hide in shame when what we need most is for someone to hold us and listen and cry with us. Society has become too busy,too preoccupied,too egotistical and shallow..We have lost the art of compassion, deep listening,
empathy,communication,community, and the closeness of kin has faded,it's so tragic on so many levels.

I think your balloon release was a wonderful way to remember your son. If you don't mind,I might send up some balloons for people I know who have suicided.
And for my Rustle too.I still miss him.

[ClayZ]

98. I am sorry for your loss.

[Douglas Carpenter]

100. when I was sixteen, my eighteen year-old brother hung himself

that was 37 years ago.

I have thought about it every single day ever since.

My mother, was still grieving over it when she died eleven years ago.

It is a terrible thing to experience and go through.

My deepest condolence.

[Name removed]

101. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[jennied]

103. So sorry!!!

[Hekate]

104. Peace and love to all of you in this thread

Peace and love :grouphug:

Hekate

[entanglement]

105. So much sorrow and pain in one thread...peace and love to you all

:grouphug:

I had to step away from the computer for a minute.

[Th1onein]

106. I am so sorry.

I lost my son, too. He was 21 years old. The pain never goes away. But neither does the love.

[bluespeck]

107. You have my deepest sympathy

On the loss of your son. What a tragedy. Keep posting that in forums. Who knows how many people you might reach who are potentially suicidal or have a relative who is suicidal. And how many people you might educate.

[regnaD kciN]

108. I hope and pray...

...that every person who may be in your son's position read this, and realize that taking their own life isn't the easiest way out -- that it will inflict untold pain on those who would have stood beside them and helped them through their troubles, if they'd only known.

:cry:

[H2O Man]

109. There are no words

that work here. But I am glad that you have enough trust in the DU community to talk about this, and I am proud of the response from the people on this thread. Please remember that we are always here for you.

Your friend,
H2O Man

[Vinca]

110. I'm so sorry. We had a neighbor who also hung himself.

I wasn't even aware he was depressed, but then I didn't know him well at all. I've always thought if people suffering from depression can be convinced to wait 24 hours before doing anything, it will change the course of events. Somehow, if you can get through to the next day, it usually doesn't look so bad. Very sad.

[Indi Guy]

111. easttexaslefty - I've never published my bout with suicidal drives...

Maybe you can find some understanding here__

I won't go into all the details; let's just say that I was exhausted of the trials of living, and afraid of dying. I know that I would have found a way way to end it all if I knew that something better was waiting for me. I'm glad now that I was more afraid of dying than I was tired of living.

As a kid -- I was always the round peg which the adults in my life always tried to force through the square hole. I was named after my Dad. Dad (who was almost always at work) expected me to be like him, and Mom (who I knew loved me) was incapable of affection.

That wasn't so bad because, as I grew up, I gained strength in my identity as a rebel.

The only problem there was that, when I came of age and had to face life as an adult -- I found myself alone and isolated. Yeah I had friends, but not the kind of family connections that could see a person through major crises.

Honestly, I got involved with very self destructive behaviors ...and in the back of my mind I was saying to my parents, "Love me, or watch me die. And if I die -- see what your neglect has done to me."

Suicide is sometimes a statement, but not necessarily the rule. Very often sensitive people just can't handle the harshness of this world at large.

From an adult who's survived this whirlwind, I can tell you this -- My Dad did the best he knew how; My Mom (rest her soul) did the same.

I don't know why your son killed his body, but I know he loves you from where he is now. Your love continues to help him along his way. I know this.

[easttexaslefty]

128. IndiGuy

Thank you sharing your story with me...I don't know the reason my son decided to end his life. I don;t think it was one thing. At the end off the day it really doesn't matter, he is still gone from.I do feel his energy around me at times and find comfort in that. Thank for you thoughtful response
Love and peace,Marie

[cullen2382]

112. I am so sorry for your loss.

Suicide is incredibly hard. My 72 year old neighbor just committed suicide a couple weeks ago. Lost his small business, was being evicted from his house, etc. Now I've had the chance to see how his children are dealing with it as they clean out his house. It's so hard for everybody.

My best wishes to you and your family.

[Solly Mack]

113. Having read the OP several times

...each time with a knot in my throat...still no words. Just feelings. Lots of feelings.

[RagAss]

114. I am sorry.

[MissDeeds]

115. So very sorry for your loss

and the pain you've had to endure. Thanks for sharing this message of hope and remembrance with us.
:grouphug:

[OneGrassRoot]

116. My thoughts and prayers are with you, with everyone... n/t

[rosesaylavee]

117. ...

:hug:

I am so sorry for your loss. And so amazed at your courage. Would pray that I have the same in such a situation. I too have a teenage son.

[sasori]

118. I am very, very sorry.

I know many people who have or who know someone who has committed suicide. .....n/t

[Geek_Girl]

119. I am so very sorry for your loss

My brother in-law committed suicide 12 years ago. We were very close and his death still hurts deeply.

My hopes and prayers are with you.

[Faith No More]

120. As someone who has also lost a son,

I feel your pain.

[kcass1954]

121. I'm so sorry for your loss, but glad you're here with us.

One of the sad realities of health care in this country is that mental health care is so frequently not addressed and not readily available to those without extensive monetary resources. Even for those of us who happen to have relatively decent health insurance, there is usually little or no coverage for mental health issues. And yet the Brittany Spears and Lindsay Lohans of the world float in and out of "rehab" like it was a weekend getaway.

[UpInArms]

122. I am so very sorry for your loss, easttexaslefty

my heart aches for you

:cry:

:hug:

[no1dolo]

123. Your post just knocked the air out of me! I'm so sorry n/t

[Peacetrain]

124. I am so sorry.. and thank you for reaching out

through the pain you have had to endure in the loss of you beloved son, to share how others can help their loved ones and friends.

[mamameow]

125. tragedies

two years ago, i had 4 cats, which i had for 18 years each, died within 4 months. then in july of the same years my husband died, then in october of 2006 my brother was found in a trash bag next to a dumpster. his wife has been charged with his 3 days of torture and murder. one year ago found out my husband did not die from disease but medication for which there is now a class action lawsuit against the manufacturers of avandia. warn everyone about avandia. the last 2 years has been a mental nightmare for me, with the diagnosis of post traumatic stress syndrome. just now getting back to being able to carry on life, paying bills before they turn off the utilities, able to take a shower everyday instead of waiting until i smell. i feel very sorry for everyones loss and especially for those who experience p.t.s.d.

[easttexaslefty]

129. I am sorry you are having such a difficult time

I also suffer with PTSD. I hope life starts to be kinder to you {{{HUGS}}}

[Waiting For Everyman]

126. I'm so sorry.

My heart goes out to you, lefty. :hug: What a beautiful rememberance to have for him. God bless you.

[Subdivisions]

127. God bless you, dear easttexaslefty. n/t

[progressivebydesign]

130. My sympathies to you. Thank you for your call to action and awareness.

I've often felt as though high schools don't do enough to screen for depression or talk about suicide. I know that he is reading your messages today... :grouphug: