a challenge to you all as i battle sobriety and a failed relationship

[w8liftinglady]

if I can write weekly,with all my shit going on...so can you.Now is the time to make our platform chrystal-clear.

[High Plains]

1. I battled sobriety. It was a tough fight, but I beat it.

[rzemanfl]

2. It gets easier, I am a month and a day into my 24th year sober.

[rurallib]

3. Bout a month shy of 20 myself

I think most of my reasons for drinking went with the drinking.

[rzemanfl]

19. This current administration could drive a guy who didn't know

better to though.

[norepubsin08]

48. 50 months for me!!!

[w8liftinglady]

52. when i leave my SO..hopefully my reason will leave.too

[w8liftinglady]

34. i know,,tonight is hard

[samuraiguppy]

4. good luck to you!

[stillcool]

5. 16+ years here..

but I swear if John McCain is selected I might have to re-think the whole thing. I volunteer at my Dem Headquarters. I think there are more of us than we realize who are planting the seeds that will bloom on November 4th.

[psychmommy]

6. good for you w8lifting lady

one day at a time. one donation at a time. one voter registration at a time. i was told that people are in our lives for different reasons and different seasons. some relationships aren't meant to be forever but a stepping stone and a learning experience. don't lose the lesson. every sober day you grow as strong on the inside as you are on the outside.

[w8liftinglady]

25. everyone thinks they are above this..

[psychmommy]

65. no my friend, there but for the grace of God go i.

i have lived a very crazy life. i have lost some friends and relatives along the way. i now try to help through my job-instead of standing on the sidelines watching. we all have our own journey none are exactly the same. i have let go of most things and substituted food. so i have my own battle, i just wanted to encourage you and let you know you are not alone out here. every now and then encourage someone else. it feels good.

[Bluebear]

7. Don't battle sobriety. Embrace it, because you deserve it.

:hug:

[w8liftinglady]

8. thank you..i need friends tonight

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

9. I turned "10"...

Last March 27th.

All I can suggest is keep very fresh in your mind all the reasons you have chosen sobriety, all the *feelings*. Relive the misery of hangovers, the feeling sick all the time, the depression, and yes, that nagging guilt you kept having to beat down that you had become the last thing you ever wanted to be. Revisit it. Compare it to your life as it improves, little by little. Be brutally honest with yourself and others about it.

Before you know it, not drinking will be the most normal thing in the world, and you will look back and wonder what you ever saw in drinking.

One more thing: take great and constant pride in it. If you relapse, big deal. Every chronic illness has relapses. So you start again and not drink again. Don't worry about coins and AA birthdays and counting of says, weeks, months and years. The only thing that counts is the day of not drinking that you are living in, right now.

As for sobriety? That is not just "not drinking". I have this cockeyed theory that we, us guys who stopped, just practice not drinking and getting our heads back on somewhat straight. As for sobriety, well, that might be something others see in you, as you wise up. Like I said, just a theory.

[madville]

10. I hope you win your battle and find someone that matches you well

I am about to get sober. I have been drinking almost everyday for that last 10 years, went to the store earlier today and bought an 18 pack of beer and a 12 pack of beer just because I didn't feel like driving 20 miles to buy a liter of vodka at the closest liquor store. Now that I am in my 30's I can feel the toll it is taking on my body and the hangovers have starting hurting really bad in the last year or so. Alcoholism has cost me several relationships that should have worked and the reason they didn't was my love of alcohol. By some miracle I have never been picked up DUI, could have been thousands of times, but I have decided this weekend it ends.

[w8liftinglady]

11. stay in touch

we are traveling on the same path

[Bubba Ho Tep]

12. Good luck to you.

Try AA even if you can't stomach the god part of it. It will help.

[w8liftinglady]

14. aa is on my agenda..but not locally

they are as right wing as they come

[madville]

32. I've considered AA many times

I want to go to meetings of some type so bad and just talk with people about my addiction and listen to them talk about theirs. That support is what I really think I need to do this, I just need to go plain and simple.

[w8liftinglady]

35. me.too...wish you lived near me

[madville]

41. My biggest fear is walking into a meeting alone and having to introduce myself

I give presentations at work to groups of people, meet with corporate officers and government offcials all the time. But the thought of walking into an AA meeting and having to introduce myself as an alcoholic literally turns my stomach.

[w8liftinglady]

45. i wish i could go with you

i'll be with you in spirit

[Old Codger]

49. OK

You do not have to do that at first if it is hard for you, some meetings are what is referred to as "closed" these meetings require that you are an admitted alcoholic, but most are not that way , you can go there, take a seat, drink coffee and not say anything at all if you choose not to, you can tell them your name and admitt to your disease or you can tell them your name and say you are just visiting, you do not have to admit to anything at all unless you so choose.. if you can go with an open mind and listen and be honest with yourself that is the first big step you need to make, it is worth it =, you will find a new life. Believe me I speak from experience, if anyone here would like to continue any of this conversation more privately I am more than willing to do so...:grouphug:

[e-mail]

[w8liftinglady]

50. thank you

[Old Codger]

43. go anyway

Go Go Go, they will welcome you with open arms, they all needed help and still do and no matter what you think you are needed there also.....Do whatever it takes..It is definitely worth it

[w8liftinglady]

47. i will

and away from my man.i can get the help i need

[Dorian Gray]

63. A word of encouragement

My husband just his his one year mark this week. He's been going to AA, and it's done a lot for him. He's not overly involved, and he's a little shy. But just the act of going to meetings and listening to other people speak has been extraordinarily cathartic and helpful to him.

Good luck in your paths as you search for something to help you. I wish you the best of luck. It's a tough road. I know through experience. Watching a loved one struggle with addictions is painful, and I know it's a battle you will win if you are determined to beat it!

[Booster]

20. I've been sober since 1986. I did get picked up 3 times, and the

last time the court ordered me to attend AA meetings. Now, I hated those phony meetings with a passion. I hated spending an hour in a room with strangers and all we talked about was drinking; made no sense to me. I hated those meetings so much I quit drinking - well, that's not entirely true. What I did was make up my mind that when I went out with friends I was not going to get drunk, whereas when I went out before the whole idea was to get drunk. It worked for me. Now, when someone asks me how I quit drinking I always say "AA". ha Believe it or not it gets easier and after awhile I just really forgot about drinking. Good luck to you guys.

[madville]

30. I have finally realized everything I do centers around alcohol

I drink when I play golf, I drink when I go fishing, I drink when I go out to dinner, I drink when I watch TV, I drink when I look at the internet, I drink when I am around my family and they all drink as well. The only thing I adjust my drinking schedule for is work and I have even drank on the clock before. If I do go a couple of days without drinking nothing feels "right" or fun, life just seems boring. I will probably have to find new hobbies and friends because everything I do or associate with now I will always tie to alcohol.

[w8liftinglady]

33. me.too

when i'm stressed-the alcohol comes out...and i act an ass

[Old Codger]

39. It is tough

I had my last drink on March 24th 1984, in the process I had to give up all of my friends (really was not my choice but they would not have anything to do with someone who didn't drink) Also it is always best to stay away from those situations...regardless of what some say about AA if you can fake it you can make it.... if you can do it alone go for it, most can't and there is help there if you can honestly ask for it.

[w8liftinglady]

42. I am leaving my boyfriend of 4 years

it's hard..he's making me chose between my son and him...no contest

[Booster]

60. You might be at the point that I finally got to. I just kind of got tired

of it; of the problems it caused; of being sick so much. I think getting older had a lot to do with that, and the fact that there were 5 of us who always got drunk together and we all quit drinking about the same time, except for one person. I do have to tell you that I had more fun during those years than I do now, but, Hell, I'm 65 yrs old and I know I couldn't keep up with myself now. I don't really miss it, but I wouldn't trade those years for anything, so don't beat yourself up too much cause I think one day you'll just decide "ok, that's enough" and it will be. i did make a conscious effort not to be around drinkers very much but since all my friends quit too that wasn't that hard. I never drank at home so that wasn't a big deal, but I can see where it would be if you do. I wish you all the luck in the world - I know it's hard cause I can't for the life of me quit smoking and I know it will kill me one day. I don't pass judgment on people cause I know I'm also weak in some respects, so don't judge yourself too harshly either. Hang in there - I do think it will pass.

[Dorian Gray]

64. You are definitely not alone

that is how people arrange their lives, and I know many people who still live their lives this way. You have seen that it's problematic for you, and that is a HUGE step. Madville, you are very honest with yourself, and that is a huge barrier that many people need to cross. Hugs and good luck! There are people here willing to speak to you who have their own personal experience in AA, and please take them up on it.

[KitchenWitch]

13. Keep trying.

:hug:

If you mess up today, start fresh tomorrow.

[w8liftinglady]

15. Thank you!Love you

[KitchenWitch]

18. Love you too!

:hug:

[efhmc]

16. I wish you the best. Keep believing in yourself and you can do it.

[w8liftinglady]

17. thank you=your words of support mean the world to me!

[blue neen]

21. One day at a time.

I haven't battled sobriety, but I have battled clinical depression. Sometimes I made it one HOUR at at time. Whew, it can really be tough.

But you know what, it really makes us so much more empathetic to the suffering of other people in this world and so much more understanding of their needs...something that is really needed in this election.

I totally salute you, and keep your chin up. :)

[w8liftinglady]

22. thanks,man we have to stick together

[Gregorian]

23. Yes. And yes.

I stopped drinking and smoking. Several times. The first time I felt like I should do it. And it was IMPOSSIBLE.

But when I decided that I wanted to feel good. Genuinely good. No hangovers. A clear head. It was EASY. I still can't believe it. But being clear and clean feels really nice.


Funny you'd post this. All day I've been agonizing over the thought of a Palin presidency. That's what I call it. And I've been picking up the phone and demanding people I know to register. I have one friend who is a stubborn ass. And I have not called him out of the difficulty I know it will be. But it's a bit like your post.

I honor your efforts and commitment. You're going to do fine. And I'm going to put time into communicating one way or another.

As for sobriety, I never could figure out what they meant by one day at a time. I'm more like one minute at a time. But to be honest, the one thing that worked for me literally was minute to minute. And it was this- when a thought comes into my head, I defer it. I'll smoke that bonghit in a minute. I'll have a beer in a half hour. And that works for a few minutes. Always keeping in mind that a clear head feels good. And believe me, once you're sober for a year, you'll wonder just how your body could possibly take that beating. It can't.

Be strong.

[w8liftinglady]

24. thank you all for recing this..no one needs to feel alone

[malaise]

27. You are never alone

Your letters inspire many DUers.

[w8liftinglady]

29. thank you

the anonymity that is the internet makes it difficult.

[tinrobot]

26. I try not to see any relationship as a failure.

They all offer the opportunity to look at myself and to grow. Looking back, every "failed" relationship in my life hurt at the time, but ultimately, those relationships always made me a better person. Always.

Failure is a great teacher.

[calimary]

28. You are truly giving a full measure of devotion!

Brava! Your strength and forebearance is an inspiration! Keep going - we NEED you.

:hug:

[w8liftinglady]

31. man,,I need to be needed

[JanusAscending]

59. I KNOW how you feel sweety,

I've been alone for 6 yrs. It's not that I get "lonely", it's that I miss being someones darlin' !!! Take heart though, your child needs you, and that will get you through. If it weren't for my kids, and their kids, life wouldn't be worth the effort for me.:hug:

[Old Codger]

36. Way to go

Fight the good fight and win..... will have 25 years next March.

[w8liftinglady]

37. thank you for the hope!

[w8liftinglady]

38. thank you DU...you have given me strength

[Redbear]

40. I just want to say that you rock.

Keep fighting the good fight.

[Withywindle]

44. I think that's what strength is.

Carrying on no matter what else is going on in your head.

Strength doesn't mean you don't need support though. A lot of times, strength means you can reach out for it when you need it.

:hug:

I respect you so much.

[w8liftinglady]

46. I know,but there are so many here who see me as the enemy!

[Withywindle]

53. Are there?

I hope not. I don't see how.

For my part, never.

[w8liftinglady]

54. sigh...unfortunately

[w8liftinglady]

51. I;ll kick this...there are a lot of us lost-looking for like-minded people

[w8liftinglady]

55. aw'hell...i'll kick

gotta work tomorrow tending the ill.please carry on the sentiment

[PeaceNikki]

56. I wish you strength and peace in your sobriety.

[w8liftinglady]

57. thank you!

[w8liftinglady]

58. BTW=allow me to kick for the concerned citizens

[Shanti Mama]

61. W8ty, don't fight it. Let it help you to regain your sanity.

I'm 20 1/2, more or less. My life began then and gets better and better, despite serious financial issues, a marriage and divorce, etc.

Get a sponsor, someone to talk to. AA really helped me for my first three months. I did 2 every day. Have rarely gone back since but do a lot of talking to friends and a professional on occasion.

Good luck!

[TWiley]

62. Recency Bias

Recency Bias is the sometimes overwhelming belief that what is being experienced at the moment will continue on forever. With the exception of death, all other experiences are transitory.

What positive emotional experience do you believe is waiting for you in the bottom of that glass? Most likely it is merely freedom from fear, loneliness, or boredom. The biggest mistakes in life happen when we compromise our values simply to satisfy a spurious and transitory urge.

edit: spelling error

[psychmommy]

66. damn i love this place.

you people on du never cease to amaze me with the flat out love and support that is given so freely here. this is why du is my home.