Bush: I've Almost Mission Accomplished the Economy

[CLG_News]

Bush: I've Almost Mission Accomplished the Economy Satire by R J Shulman 19 Sep 2008

WASHINGTON - (PTSD News) - President (sic) Bush told investors today not to worry about the economy, telling them that he had the whole "money thing in the bag and under control." Bush gave the short speech at the White House rose garden instead of the speech he had originally planned to make from an air craft carrier while dressed in a fighter pilot uniform. "It took a while, but we finally convinced the President that the being a 'top gun' had nothing to do with the current financial crisis," said a White House spokesman.

The Post Times Sun Dispatch obtained a copy of the original speech. Here are some of the highlights:

My fellow Americans, I am here to speechicate to you today about the economy and to tell you the money surge is working.

Just like when I bull-horned you all to go shopping after 9-11, I'm telling you to go shopping for stocks in the market place with all the stocks. I promise I will hunt down the terrorist killers who have been responsible for attacking Wall Street and smoke them out, dead or alive.

<snip>

More at the source.