I have a confession: I am addicted to foreign heroin.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

My entire life has become consumed with buying up large amounts of heroin coming out of Mexico, Vietnam, Thailand, Burma, Pakistan, Iran and Afghanistan. My bank account has virtually emptied out due to my dependence on this drug. Much of the money I make goes to buy the heroin from these foreign countries instead of going to other things I should be buying.

It's time for a change in my life. Fortunately, I have a solution.

We need to increase production of heroin in our own country so that we are not so reliant on these foreign heroin support. It's time that opium poppies be grown in every available American field so that I can meet the demand for my heroin addiction without lining the pockets of foreign heroin suppliers. Once American heroin production becomes more of a staple in this country, I am sure prices for heroin will accordingly go down and that I will not be taken advantage of by American heroin suppliers like I am being taken advantage of by heroin suppliers from these overseas countries. I am certain with the amount of fields available for opium poppy production in the United States, that the supply of heroin will increase ten fold and we will see a considerable decrease in the average price of heroin, thus allowing me to buy more of the things I would like to buy.

That is how we have to tackle this problem. Say it with me...."Grow here, grow now! Grow here, grow now! Grow here..."
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(And in case you haven't noticed....:sarcasm:)

[ColbertWatcher]

1. I hear Alaska is increasing their manufacture of meth. n/t

[Believing Is Art]

2. Well they have to do something with all those matchbooks and

all that lighter fluid when global warming renders them useless. They can run the Iditarod to bring in Sudafed.

[ColbertWatcher]

3. And they can use the pipeline to send product to the lower 48. n/t

[randr]

4. Excellent solution

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