OBAMA DROPPING OUT OF THE ELECTION!!!

[Bigmack]

- - - -snip - - -
In the wake of an epic financial meltdown that threatens to derail the U.S. economy for years, Barack Obama announced he was ending his run for President of the United States, declaring to a stunned nation, “Man, this is bullshit.”

In a boisterous and hastily-called press conference, Obama detailed his reasons for the decision. “I was prepared to fight global warming, reform the health care system, repair our crumbling roads, create a 21st century electric grid, find Bin Laden, end the war in Iraq, and bring peace to Israel and the Palestinians. But now you tell me I have to clean up the worst financial mess since the Great Depression too? One that’s going to plunge our economy into a recession for most of my administration while I take the blame? Fuck that. That’s fucking ridiculous. You guys clean up your own shit. I’m outta here.”

He elaborated: “From the time I was a little boy, I dreamt of being President one day. Of having the power and resources to enact a bold vision for the country, to set this great land on a path to a better future. Now we’re fucking broke. What the hell can I do when we’re $9 trillion in debt and got 1 billion Chinese hankering to cash their IOUs? I can’t even buy a three-fingered handjob now.”

Obama also revealed that he previously thought about quitting when Sen. McCain picked Gov. Palin as a running mate (”What is this, a reality TV show?”), when the media covered the faux lipstick-on-a-pig scandal for two days straight (”Why would I call her a pig? She’s a fucking MILF, for Christ’s sake”), and when he realized he was still neck and neck with McCain in the polls in spite of being his opponent’s superior in every possible metric and running as the exact opposite of one of the worst administrations in U.S. history.

Obama took no questions from reporters. After reading his statement, he threw his suit jacket on the ground, made an obscene gesture to the press corp, and dashed out a back exit, where he hopped on a motorcycle and yelled “See ya, bitches, I’m off to do my wife” as he rode away.

http://www.1001words.com/2008/09/obama-to-nation-im-outta-here.html

(If this was posted before, I didn't see it, and I'm sorry. But this is funny!)

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

1. Uh-oh

:hide:

[maseman]

2. That's pretty damn funny

Why would anyone want to clean up this train wreck?

[Mojorabbit]

3. Love it nt

[ddeclue]

4. Funny!

:rofl:

[patomime]

5. Bwahhhaaaa!

:rofl:

[rockymountaindem]

6. That's a good one

It really puts forward just what a tough spot he's going to be in.

[stillcool]

7. that is great...

I hope I get my coupon in time

[vanderBeth]

8. Okay. I laughed.

:hide:

[BlueJazz]

9. You may think I'm Nuts but IF something like that truly happened....

...I wouldn't blame him at all.

To think he has to work his ass off to convince a pack of dumb-ass Americans to vote in their best interest ...plus knowing that 50 percent of the people here are not worthy of being called "reasonably intelligent" ????

I'd tell the Republicans : "Stick it in your Ass..You and your Pig-Fucking Constituency can have it"

:) :)

[Lex]

10. “See ya, bitches, I’m off to do my wife”

Umm.

[whathehell]

12. Yeah....Not cool.

[MadrasT]

11. Seriously , I have wondered what would happen

if all the candidates just said, FUCK IT, this isn't waht I signed up for.

Please, be strong Barack. We need you.

[Dr.Phool]

13. Fuck! I just filled out my absentee this evening.

Now, I'll have to go get a new one, and vote for that guy Nader. Let him clean it up. He's pretty responsible for this mess too.

[longship]

14. Who says we can't laugh at ourselves? nt

Recommended and :kick:ed.

[Carni]

15. Who could blame him if he did this!

Funny lol but on a serious note I wouldn't blame the man if he did say screw this...he's going to have one HELL of a mess on his hands.

I cannot believe that bush and co are making their final power/money grab...I knew they'd do it, but once again I am amazed to see it actually come to pass.