Here's a response to those "Why I'm voting Democratic" E-mails.

[AndyA]

I've received several of them, all from right wingers containing erroneous information about Democrats. Here's a response a friend wrote, just hit "Reply to all" so all the little right wingers who got the original can get their feathers ruffled with this one. Who knows, maybe...just maybe...one of them will see the truth in it!

I'm voting GOP (Grand Oil Party) because:

Everything about - insert name of state here - is great!!

You can never invade too many sovereign nations based on lies with the justification that the people being bombed will appreciate the freedom that it brings, especially if it is at the point of a gun;

I like outing CIA operatives to win political points - politics at its deadliest is fun!!

We just don't kill enough of our people on our own streets with our own guns manufactured by our own corporations that don't pay corporate income taxes because they need the money to invest in offshore 2nd, 3rd, and 4th, untaxed homes where they can enjoy the fruits of lobbying efforts paid for with corporate income;

The yacht industry is booming!

We need every sperm and egg to become a person in this country so that they can go to the emergency room and enjoy the GOP health care system and remain untreated for life threatening illnesses or wounds that occur due to unregulated construction and bad food purchased from China;

They support the death penalty for persons who whistle blow against corporate America!!

I can buy a foreclosed home on a street 50 or 60 miles from my job at a price that is only 4 times what it is worth and watch the public schools and roads decay because there are no longer any residents in those homes and nobody to pay taxes on them, but I have a WalMart nearby;

I'd like to make sure that all of the so-called churches receive their fair share of my income in the way of tax abatements and so that I can support out-of-Focus on Everyone Else's Family's agenda of making sure that my life comports to their values;

I'd like to make sure that Flush Limbaugh can suck his own cigar like he sucks dick Cheney's;

I'd like to lose more relatives to preventable illnesses because they could not see a doctor or the doctor they see will not refer them for treatment because an adjuster doesn't think medco's bottom line would be benefited if my Aunt Rita got the tests to see if it really is cancer;

They support abating the pollution from all of those American factories by closing them and opening up call centers;

I think that the NSA, FBI, the CIA, and the president should listen in on my phone calls because I'm not a terrorist and only terrorists want the rights guaranteed by the Constitution;

I like to play freeway roulette and hope that the next flyover I'm under doesn't collapse or the next bridge I'm on doesn't simply fall into the river - bridges and roads should all be owned by private industry and we should pay them to drive on them and no more public transport!!

I like paying so that Bush and his progeny can take endless vacations on my dime - there's nothing that needs his attention in Washington;

War isn't really war and my son and daughter will never have to fight, they'll get high paying jobs as contractors - still paid by the U.S. without the danger of being a soldier!

Grover Nerdquist never has to work an honest day in his life;

No matter how many jobs the lower classes work--they'll never make it!! HAHAHAHA

The Bill of Rights is less important than what can be accomplished by making significant financial donations to the right persons - money is freedom of speech so shut up whiner!!

Tom DeLay can appear before a Bush appointed judge who makes sure he is not convicted;

Families whose futures were ruined by Enron get to enjoy another dose of financial Russian roulette when McCain appoints Phil Gramm to destroy what little is still left of the American treasury;

I think the WalMarts of this world are beautiful and supply us will all we need, more junk and more paved over farmland for parking lots, and more toys from China, besides where else will all the factory workers go to work when the factories all close?

Unions are communistic;

I don't want to see all that nature all over the place with all of those annoying animals which nobody can legally hunt;

If I cannot afford to send my children to private school, they will surely never be able to compete with the GOP's offspring who are, because anybody who doesn't have money doesn't really count, do they - it's shoving Darwinism back at the heathens - survival of the richest!!

I'd like every Halliburton and Exxon CEO to tax me without my permission to pay for their own political agendas and their own incredibly ostentatious lifestyles while I continue to scrape the bottom of the barrel - I wholly support $10,000 shower curtains in corporate owned villas;

Lying is not lying if you deny it and own the media to ensure the lie is couched as the truth;

But mostly, I'm voting for the Grand Oil Party because the Supreme Court has not yet been corrupted enough by the ideologically polluted mindset of the neocons and still insists on making the errant and occasional decision actually based on the Constitution and the people in America and not just the corporations.

So far, this has shut most of them up. ;)

(Permission granted by author to distribute.)

[crim son]

1. Absolutely wonderful.

I'm using it! Thank you and thanks to the author. :hi:

[radfringe]

2. good one

[Brazenly Liberal]

3. K&R - This one is going viral!

Excellent!

[nichomachus]

4. Very nice, but

weaaaay too many words for a right-winger to comprehend.

To get them to absorb something, you need to keep it under 10 words -- and then repeat it a thousand times. If it won't fit on the Faux Noise crawl, right-wingers can't grasp it.