Best anti-Palin rant yet from Matt Taibbi (language warning)

[JohnyCanuck]

The scariest thing about Sarah Palin isn't how unqualified she is - it's what her candidacy says about America

I'm standing outside the XCEL ENERGY CENTER in St. Paul Minnesota Sarah Palin has just finished her speech to the Republican National Convention, accepting the party's nomination for vice president. If I hadn't quit my two-packs-a-day habit earlier this year, I'd be chain-smoking now. So the only thing left is to stand mute against the fit-for-a-cheap-dog-kennel crowd-control fencing you see everywhere at these idiotic conventions and gnaw on weird new feelings of shock and anarchist rage as one would a rawhide chew toy.

All around me, a million cops in their absurd post-9/11 space-combat get-ups stand guard as assholes in papier-mache puppet heads scramble around for one last moment of network face time before the coverage goes dark. Four-chinned delegates from places like Arkansas and Georgia are pouring joyously out the gates in search of bars where they can load up on Zombies and Scorpion Bowls and other "wild" drinks and extramaritally grope their turkey-necked female companions in bathroom stalls as part of the "unbelievable time" they will inevitably report to their pals back home. Only 21st-century Americans can pass through a metal detector six times in an hour and still think they're at a party.

The defining moment for me came shortly after Palin and her family stepped down from the stage to uproarious applause, looking happy enough to throw a whole library full of books into a sewer. In the crush to exit the stadium, a middle-aged woman wearing a cowboy hat, a red-white-and-blue shirt and an obvious eye job gushed to a male colleague they were both wearing badges identifying them as members of the Colorado delegation at the Xcel gates.

"She totally reminds me of my cousin!" the delegate screeched. "She's a real woman! The real thing!"

I stared at her open-mouthed. In that moment, the rank cynicism of the whole sorry deal was laid bare. Here's the thing about Americans. You can send their kids off by the thousands to get their balls blown off in foreign lands for no reason at all, saddle them with billions in debt year after congressional year while they spend their winters cheerfully watching game shows and football, pull the rug out from under their mortgages, and leave them living off their credit cards and their Wal-Mart salaries while you move their jobs to China and Bangalore.

http://www.smirkingchimp.com/thread/17504

[gateley]

1. K&R - Love Matt Taibbi. nt

[Inspired]

2. I see your K and raise you an R.

[Snarkoleptic]

3. Very Hunter S. Thompson-esque!

[Warpy]

4. It's a great rant and shows how the no information voter

will likely view Palin on Thursday, as bright and articulate. Remember, they just let the torrent of words wash over them. They don't really care whether or not they make any sense.

The one major thing she has going against her is her voice. It's grating. It reminds too many males of psycho ex girlfriends, grasping high maintenance ex wives, and hostile mothers in law. She's a caricature of all three when you listen to her.

However, we're likely to see pundits appalled after the debate while crowds might call it a draw.

After all, Palin represents the life of the suburban holiday party. Biden represents a boss. As long as Palin doesn't throw up on herself, the no information voters will love her.

[pnorman]

5. "Only 21st-century Americans can pass through a metal detector six times in an hour and still think

they're at a party."

No further comment!

pnorman