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I posted this in the California section of discussion, but I will post here too and urge people to contact who they know in California about this ballot measure. If Prop 8 passes, gay couples who have married since the state Supreme Court ruling may end up having their marriages nullified. It would be a bloody shame to see California go backwards on this issue!
I am a resident of Washington, but I'm closely watching the Proposition 8 campaign in California. I have made a small donation to No on 8, and for my relatives and friends in California - including family members who are conservatives, I sent the following email. I don't know if I will change any minds, but it is worth a try. ________
Hello All,
I write this message to my friends and family who either live in California or are close to those who live there. I have been following the story of Proposition 8, an item on California's November ballot that would overturn the state Supreme Court's ruling that allows gay marriage in the state. I know that some of you have religious beliefs from which you may oppose the concept of gay marriage, but I want to put a human face on this issue and give you something to consider.
As many of you know, my brother Robert, who died from non-Hodgkin's lymphoma in 1995, was gay. He had a devoted partner, also named Bob. Friends referred to them as "the Two Bobs", or, "Bob C. and Bob L." Until my brother died, they had been together for 17 years. I'll say it again - 17 years.
They had the kind of harmony in their relationship that many heterosexual couples could only wish for. They bought and sold homes together, and they moved cross-country together for job opportunities. And when my brother was sick, could no longer work and lost his health insurance, Bob L. worked long hours so that they could stay afloat financially.
Bob L., my dad, and I were at my brother's side when he passed away. Afterward, when hospital staff needed important paperwork signed for my brother's death, they did not turn to Bob L. but to my father. They considered Dad to be next-of-kin but not my brother's partner of 17 years. If there was one fortunate thing, it was that my dad embraced who my brother was and his relationship with Bob L. So, my father made sure to include Bob L. in the decisions that needed to be made after Bob's death.
After my brother died, I lived with Bob L. for a year and a half. In that time, I watched him grieve with the anguish of someone who had lost his partner for life. They had a love for one another that had all the markings of a lifetime union.
If cancer had not taken Bob's life, it is quite possible he would be living in California today as he and Bob L. had lived there and they loved it there. I am quite certain, too, that Bob would be in favor of gay marriage. He was, in fact, religious, but he was comfortable about who he was and how he lived his life.
I respectfully ask: Even if you think gay marriage contradicts your beliefs, why not leave the issue to God's judgement? How can it be wrong for two people, whether same-sex or not, to love one another so much that they want to make a formal commitment to be together for life? I cannot see how this is an affront to the concept of marriage. Some say that marriage is for the purpose of raising children, but plenty of people who cannot (or don't) have children get married. Marriage vows include the promise of staying together for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. How can it be wrong for any two consenting adults to vow this to each other?
Thank you for reading. If you are registered to vote in California, please find it in your heart to vote "No" on Proposition 8.
With Love,
Janet
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