I don't want LGBT people getting married on my watch...

[badgerpup]

...I want the time off so's I can attend my friends' weddings and cheer them on!

About damn time they could...

[davidinalameda]

1. have you donated to the various ballot measures?

that would be the best present for your friends

[ColbertWatcher]

2. LOL! America needs to build a Marriage-Protection Wall!

Just like the border fence!

[Indenturedebtor]

3. Actually I prefer my Marriage Protection Underoos idea

we're working on the patent.

We operate under the assumption that if you've been married awhile most arousal is the result of threatening stimuli. If you get aroused you are treated to an "aversion stimulus" in your bathing suit area.

We are also releasing a footy pajama version in time for X-mas 2010, which we hope will especially appeal to all of those closeted homosexual bigots out there. For years they've been crying out for a way to control their homoerotic dreams. We are confident that groin electroshock therapy can provide that. ;)

[ColbertWatcher]

4. "groin electroshock therapy"

I believe Liberty University offers degrees in this area.

[Indenturedebtor]

5. LOL yes in fact they do. I have 3 of them in my garden shed

working away right now actually. I lured them from commencement using promises of child pornography and ultra capitalist working conditions.

Now they work 80 hours a day wearing diapers so that they dont have to get up to pee. :shrug:

They don't teach people how to read between the lines at non-liberal universities I guess... their loss :evil: