freeper's prayer

[Liberal_in_LA]

So much praying going on over in freeperville! Here's a recent post:

Please join me in an election eve prayer
Vanity | 11/03/2008 | Diverteach

Posted on Monday, November 03, 2008 9:59:23 PM by diverteach

Dear Lord God Almighty, creator of the universe and all things therein. I come to you this election eve in humbled earnest prayer.

I pray on behalf of the country I have been blessed to have been born in, and my fellow countrymen with whom I share it. Our desire is to see continued blessings from you Dear Lord not only for us, but for all generations to come. We fear having to tell future generations of how our country used to be and how great this country was once upon a time.

Tomorrow we head to the election polling places to select our countries earthly leader, a task set before us once every four years, one that should not be taken lightly and be done with wisdom and in line with your will Lord God.

Unfortunately Dear Lord, many have rejected your will for thier own and will take to the polls, make thier selections, and cast thier ballots without full knowledge or wisdom about whom they are choosing for this important job.

I come to you Lord God that you touch the hearts of these voters that they may vote according to your will as I understand it.

First and foremost an issue that trumps all others, that they vote to choose life over death as life is a blessing directly from you Lord God and not for us to decide when or if it should be ended, but yours alone. One of our choices has a record of being pro-life, the other does not, it's quite the opposite.

That votes be cast for a proven supporter of your chosen people and thier land of Israel. Your word tells us that those that bless Israel shall be blessed and those that curse her shall be cursed. One of our choices has a record of that support, the other has empty politicians words but many friends who curses your people.

That we continue to hold jobs and prosper. One choice wants us to build ourselves up and see us prosper, while the other will tear us down seeking to spread wealth to the lazy.

That we continue to have freewill and free speech. One choice promises to ensure this happens, the other has already stiffled opposition with strong evidence it will only get worse.

That we may continue to protect ourselves and our family from the evil that lurks. One choice has promised to ensure we retain that ability, the other has a record of wanting to take it away.

That this country be protected from outside elements that wish harm upon us. One choice has dedicated his whole life in service to this country and helping to build our defense forces, the other has promised to cut it down. The second has even gone so far as to admit defeat with troops still engaged and deny them funding to keep them safe. Let's also not forget he wishes to sit down without preconditions with people promising to wipe your people and country off the map.

To me the that choice is crystal clear, that of Senator John McCain along with Governor Sarah Palin.

In Jesus' precious name I pray, AMEN!


:eyes:

[givemebackmycountry]

1. That this country be protected from outside elements that wish harm upon us

Like the ones that attacked us while YOUR guy was on freaking vacation.

[Skittles]

2. more proof they are mentally ill

and a pretty good reason to explain the sorry state of America today

[orleans]

31. agree. n/t

[Arugula Latte]

3. "Lord, keep my supply of Cheetos and Internet porn bountiful. Amen."

[vanderBeth]

4. !

:spray:

[Pithy]

26. lmao!

[Raine]

37. LOL ... I can picture them now

:spray: :rofl:

[WilliamPitt]

5. Black people make the baby Jesus cry.

Or so I hear.

:crazy:

[Vickers]

6. Like Jesus wrote it himself.

O8)O8)O8)O8)O8)O8)O8)O8)

[Lex]

7. "you touch the hearts of these voters that they may vote according to your will"

Yep.

Now why does that freeper ask that the Lord's will be done, and then tell the Lord what his will is?

[Crunchy Frog]

19. "as I understand it."

It doesn't occur to him to consider the possibility that God's will is beyond or different from his understanding. Heck, we don't need God anyways, just Freepers to do a stand in.

[Naturyl]

8. Didn't Jesus instruct his followers to pray privately?

I don't think posting one's prayers on Freeperville qualifies.

[Veritas_et_Aequitas]

14. Ideally, yes.

Of course, sometimes "prayer" isn't really prayer. Sometimes it's a way of venting.

[uppityperson]

9. Approaching this maturely, all I have to say is neener neener neener. Oh yes,...

grow up freepers.

[silverojo]

10. Ever notice how the people who are against abortion...

...are the people whose mothers should have had abortions?

[deepthought42]

11. Sorry. The Flying Spaghetti monster

does not approve! DENIED. :P

[Veritas_et_Aequitas]

12. Lord, protect us from those who would hide in the shadows of ignorance rather than face truth,

from those who would perpetuate hatred and not work for peace,
from those who would trod upon their brothers and sisters thinking only of themselves,
and from those who claim to know Your will.
Have mercy on them and show them Your way.
Bless us all and restore our country to its former glory.
I ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen

Or something like that. Just a thought.

[Swamp Rat]

13. The author(s) of that prayer left out poor ol' Gee Dubya!

I thought god made dubya pretzeldent for LIFE to save 'real murcans' from the dark-sided? O8)

[Indenturedebtor]

15. Jesus was a Pinko Commie Librul NEENER NEENER NEENER

Seriously though... he was. So who are you guys worshiping?

You know if you do something to "Regan" using some sort of math it spells "Satan"?

[RedCappedBandit]

16. LOL

Wonder if she'll be questioning her faith when she tries to figure out how McCain could lose when she obviously so adamantly believes that this "infallible" god dudes will is the opposite.

[blue sky at night]

17. thier use of the language.....

never ceases to amaze me, but then again stupidity rules huh, Free Republicians....grammer and spelling free that is.

God doesn't work that way dude, you need to go back to sunday school.





ANYway over here on the LIght SIde we are CHarging AHead into the FUture at the SPeed of PI!!!!










Well, this Kind of PIE!!!!!










CHange, HOpe, OBama/BIden........!!!!!

[TygrBright]

18. Uh-oh. We're screwn. When God hears this, She's gonna facepalm, "What was I thinking!?"

Then She's gonna magically turn into an old white guy with a beard and appear to everyone in their dreams tonight and make them change their minds about wanting peace, prosperity, and prestige in the world and they're all gonna vote McCain and WE'RE TOTALLY HOSED, people!

Oh NOOOOOoooooes!!!

:rofl:

hysterically,
Bright

[Crunchy Frog]

20. I'm really looking forward to being able to gloat soon.

:evilgrin:

[AlexinVA]

21. They all should read their Bibles more...

because their ideology is not at all consistent with the humanity of Jesus:

31 "When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. 32 All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.
34 "Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'
37 "Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'
40 "The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

[renate]

33. welcome to DU!

:hi:

Their King W translation of the Bible, unfortunately, reads "I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of my brothers, you were a sucker, you socialist."

[Suji to Seoul]

40. Stop assuming pricks like Freepers know how to read.

You'll understand them better.

[Union Thug]

22. Lurking Evil. I guess I'm supposed to be frightened. That was th cue, right?

These guys are in need of a national health care plan to treat their collective mental illness.

[lpbk2713]

23. WWJD?

He'd say piss on these assholes.

[ColbertWatcher]

25. Shouldn't it be HWJV? n/t

[ColbertWatcher]

24. Thank you for posting this ...

http://www.wikiality.com/Prayer

[Rocknrule]

27. The abridged version:

"Hail Satan"

[Old and In the Way]

28. I'm so sick of these self-righteous morons.

"according to your will as I understand it."....well, what if you understand wrong? Like when you were wrong about Bush....twice? The rest of us are paying for your stupidity. Stop using God as your own Republican political tool, no matter how much you dress it up in pious sounding language, it's still a disgusting act.

PS...if you're feeling persecuted, might I suggest setting off to a New World where you can be free to screw things up without dragging us along with you? Maybe Northern Greenland or Utah?

[Pithy]

29. Heh!

I love the smell of flop sweat in the morning!

[enuegii]

30. I come to you Lord God that you touch the hearts of these voters...

that they may vote according to your will as I understand it."

Sorry, there, Lord, I'm afraid it's just not good enough for these heathens to vote according to your will. No, it's gotta be according to your will as I understand it.

Because it's my way or the highway, buddy!

Now, I'm not a religious person at all, but I always thought of a prayer as an humble request for an indulgence of some sort. I know that these folks consider themselves to have a special, personal relationship with old Nobodaddy, but issuing demands to a vengeful, jealous, fearsome omnipotent being just doesn't seem very, well... prudent.:shrug:

[pinniped]

32. I thou have bin tuched and halve scene the lite and will vote acordinglee.

What the fuck would these Freepers know about wealth????

They should've used this prayer eight years ago!

[chalky]

34. "...that choice is crystal clear, that of Senator John McCain along with Governor Sarah Palin."

Just in case you're too stupid to get all my other hints, God, these are the ones you gotta make everyone vote for.

Oh, and I'm praying in the name of that hippie son of yours, you know, the one we just tolerate because you said we had to? The one who's words we mock when his back's turned? Yeah, him.

AAAAA-Men!

[Dems4me]

35. As a long time Christian, that seriously offends me. REPUBLICANS -Christians are supposed to follow

Jesus' example- His example has very little in common with
your prayer. I would suggest reading the gospels and praying very hard for wisdom,
peace of heart, love of thy neighbor and humility of heart.

And pay careful attention to Mathew. Giving false witness against
one another is contrary to his teachings. Don't let yourselves
get so carried away with these elections, that you become your
own worst enemy.

REMEMBER: Jesus detested violence, he allowed himself and his
apostles to bear their burdens without violence and hate.
Jesus DOES NOT SUPPORT war and violence. In the old testament,
original covenant, war was allowed to set the stage for the future
biblical fulfillment. The wars were guided and governed by the All Mighty,
not by the people. When Jesus came, the new and last covenant was set.

He made it very clear, peace and love was the only way. Ask your self,
what are you spreading. You will reap what you sow, if not in this life
one day. I will pray for your change of heart.

[crispini]

36. "that they may vote according to your will as I understand it."

What arrogance.

[Dem2theMax]

38. Awww, just look at the way they talk about THEMSELVES;

"Unfortunately Dear Lord, many have rejected your will for thier own and will take to the polls, make thier selections, and cast thier ballots without full knowledge or wisdom about whom they are choosing for this important job."

And they don't even use spell-check when they write to God? For shame! :evilgrin:

[TheKentuckian]

39. It would help if they would worry about being on God's side

and it would do wonders if they would pray for understanding and discernment instead of having their own views validated.

Even if they didn't get those gifts right away, realizing the possibility of a need for a broader perspective to reach the very beginning of understanding would be a remarkable start.

[Suji to Seoul]

41. Don't worry, Freeptard. . .God may just foresake you for real Christians.

[Luna_C_06]

42. Are these the same people who believe

that in order for Jesus to come back, the anti-christ has to gain control? And don't they also believe that Obama is the anti-christ? If so, then why aren't they praying for Obama to win? Unless they're not really true believers and they don't want Jesus to save them...:evilgrin:

[SalmonChantedEvening]

43. Lord, here's Your Will as I see it.

How horribly presmuptive. From what I recall, God's best lessons were those that taught humility and grace, not pompousity.

[bowens43]

44. Jesus amen these freepers are idiots!!!

[Number_Six]

45. A better one to use?

"Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do."

[mwb970]

46. You cannot petition the Lord with prayer!

Even if you're a Freeper.