Failure to Blow Election Stuns Democrats

[madfloridian]

Failure to blow election

Andy Borowitz has just been waiting for this time and for this moment.

Just minutes after their party's longstanding losing tradition lay in tatters on the ground, millions of shell-shocked Democrats stared at their television screens in disbelief, asking themselves what went right. For Democrats, who have become accustomed to their party blowing an election even when it seemed like a sure thing, Tuesday night's results were a bitter pill to swallow.

The head-shaking and finger-pointing over the demise of the Democrats' losing streak, which many of the party faithful had worn like a badge of honor, reached all the way to the upper echelons of the Democratic National Committee.

"Believe me, I'm as shocked by these results as anybody," said DNC chief Howard Dean, who indicated he has received hundreds of calls from incredulous party members. "We did everything in our power to screw this thing up."

Dean pointed to several key elements the Democrats put in place to ensure defeat, ranging from "a rancorous primary campaign" to "the appointment of me."

"Somehow, despite our best efforts to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, we won," he said. "I came in here with a mandate to blow this thing and I didn't get it done."

:rofl:

Good one, Andy. Glad you got the chance to write this.

[RainDog]

1. Ha! k&r

[RJ Connors]

2. What can you say? This was such a blowout

that even the Republican attack machine, as well oiled as it is, couldn't deal with it.

[Blue1963]

3. I demand an investigation into this immediately! n/t

:silly:

[Suich]

4. LOL!

Another K & R!

Thanks! :hi:

[drm604]

5. Funny thing is... there's some truth to it.

That's sort of how I feel right now. Part of me was sure that something would go wrong, that they would manage to steal it somehow or we would screw it up somehow, or something.

I'm stunned that it worked out just the way it appeared it would. How screwed up is that?

I guess it just shows how much they've managed to screw with our heads. But we fought back and beat them in spite of it!

[psychmommy]

6. they did all kinds of dirty stuff.

it was such a landslide that the crap didn't work. i think early voting really helped.

[drm604]

9. True

And it was my anxiety and uncertainty that caused me to spend 5 hours today phone banking. So the anxiety served a purpose. I think that they thought we would be demoralized after the last two Presidential elections. Just the opposite happened. We were angry and frightened and therefore motivated like never before.

[bertman]

11. Same here, drm604. We need to hold onto that.

Borowitz is a HOOT!

[mzmolly]

7. Heh.

:D

[Rainbowreflect]

8. Best post all night!

[cynatnite]

10. That's a keeper...

:rofl:

[shadowknows69]

12. I'm stunned my own self lol

[kath]

13. Oh. My. Goodness.

I'm laughing so hard!!

[madfloridian]

15. Me, too. I needed a good laugh.

:hi:

[jmondine]

14. I think the DLC is more likely to be shocked than the DNC