My guns and bibles are GONE! They must've elected Obama!

[Philosoraptor]

All of my guns are gone and replaced with welfare checks! All my bibles have been replaced with Korans! My wife's entire wardrobe is a closet full of black burqas! My kids are being forced into public schools and forced to renounce America! Instead of pledging allegiance to the flag they are on the floor facing Mecca and praying to Allah five times a day!

Our great nation is being threatened with affordable health care for all! The world will now look at us with respect instead of revulsion! Our churches will be burned down and replaced with temples to Allah! Our white daughters will be having black babies! rush limbaugh will be thrown into prison and all right wing radio shows canceled!

All of our money will go to reparations to descendants of slaves! Israel will be nuked! Saddam Hussein will attack us again! All of our babies will be rounded up and aborted! White people will be put into concentration camps with no legal representation and tortured severely! Just mentioning Jesus aloud will get you beheaded! Oh woeful day! Oh terrible fate! Oh God, why has thou forsaken us republicans?!?

[KG]

1. when i woke up this morning i felt strangely compelled to sing 'The Internationale'!

comrades! you have nothing to lose but your chains!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxQ7GUEPsrU&feature=related

[Why Syzygy]

6. shame on you

[krispos42]

2. Did you wake up in a same-sex marriage, too?

Not that there's anything wrong with that...

[Philosoraptor]

4. Oh my God---my wife is now my husband!

[krispos42]

9. And are you two now also married to any sort of farm animal?

Has your Maxwell House been replaced with latte? Has your Ford been replaced with a Volvo?


*gasp!*



Is that.... arugula in your teeth?

[deutsey]

5. Yesterday, my marriage was healthy and strong

Today we're getting a divorce.

Damn you, Obama!

:sarcasm:

[KayLaw]

30. NO.

But my husband gave me a terrorist fist jab before he left for work.

[ingac70]

3. lol.

[Why Syzygy]

7. LOL! Can I quote you?

[Phentex]

8. I got a robo-call about a new Breakfast Tax!

with a surcharge for bacon!

[OswegoAtheist]

11. Lucky!

At least you're allowed to have bacon! All our meat products have magically turned into their soy counterparts, and all our vehicles are now hybrids!

Oswego "And I have this strange feeling...I think it's happiness" Atheist

[Sabriel]

10. I feel more elite and intellectual

If you'll excuse me, I have to see if my Birkenstocks have shipped yet.

[Philosoraptor]

13. Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon? ...but of course.

[tsuki]

29. Time for me to bring my

"I think therefore I am an elitist" tee-shirt out of retirement.

Ah Jeebus, after last night, I need a latte.

[comtec]

12. LOL ROTFLMFAO

:rofl:
thanks :)
For the first time in 8 looooonngg years, I am proud to be an American.
I don't feel like I should claim dear Canada as my nationality abroad anymore!
I CAN BE AN AMERICAN AGAIN!!!!!!!
.... ok maybe I'll have to re-think my California post box though....
yes on 8... wtf were people thinking!?!?

[Heidi]

14. There's a tanker truck full of fetal stem cells parked in front of my house!!!! (nt)

[TNDemo]

15. I'm going shopping for my burqa today.

Wonder if Walmart has stocked up?

[MadinMo]

38. But are they American Made?

Nah..... probably made in Indonesia or China.

[Tigress DEM]

16. Political sarcasm is a tad risky sometimes, ask Al Franken.

I know you think this is hilarious and many agree, but there are people on the other side seriously trying to swallow their loss and feeling crazy fears that have been pumped into them for 8+ years.

I think going forward we have to not rub their faces in this, and simply honestly point out as the days go by that none of this stuff is happening.

[FatDave]

17. Don't be ridiculous.

My gun is right over....SON OF A BITCH!

[Smith_3]

18. Soldiers are forcing men to have gay sex with each other in my neighbourhood.

[nichomachus]

19. WHat other type of sex would men be having with each other?

[Momgonepostal]

24. There's the "not really gay" kind

You know, the kind that people like Mark Foley and Larry Craig and Ted Haggard have. It's sex with men, but it doesn't mean they are gay, not at all. I think when republicans do it, it's not gay. :rofl:

[rucky]

20. I feel the sanctity of my marriage crumbling

and a strange attraction to Marky Mark.

[old mark]

21. I still have my guns - we only took them from registered Republicans. nt

[shadowknows69]

22. I woke up this morning and instantly started wondering

Which way I need to face to pray for my new Muslin faith.

[crispini]

26. Towards the linen closet, of course!

Hee.

[shadowknows69]

33. But I don't have a linen closet!!! Allah save me!!!

[gollygee]

23. I was going to go volunteer at my church today, but maybe I'd better just stay home

they could have been shut down overnight.

[Momgonepostal]

25. I love this thread! LOL nt

[Annces]

27. So long dinosaurs n/t

[pipi_k]

28. I'm living in a Twilight Zone of liberal tree-hugging hell

The trees in my yard are hugging me back!!!!


My well water has turned itself into Perrier!


My dogs are barking with a French accent!


My junk food stash has been replaced by a hundred pounds of GRANOLA!!!


My entire shoe wardrobe now consists of ugly, sensible shoes!!! ummm...wait a minute...I bought those shoes....never mind....


aughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

It's the End of the World as we know it!


:nuke:

[tex-wyo-dem]

31. I heard this morning that Christmas is officially cancelled...

At least the Jesus part of it :)

[annabanana]

32. don't worry about your daughters & their black babies..

they are all being forced to have abortions

[ColbertWatcher]

34. Excuse me? Your "wife"!? Unless you're a woman, you need to change your OP. n/t

[lpbk2713]

35. Lock up the white women!!!11!

Reminiscent of Blazing Saddles.

:rofl:

[reflection]

36. Let's not jump to conclusions. Your guns and bibles

may have been raptured. :D

[Philosoraptor]

37. Somebody smashed the 10 commandments on my lawn!

[Duppers]

39. LMFAO too! I'm sending this thread link out.

THANK YOU!