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Well I've been a lurker at DU for over 7 years now. I love the freedom and expression that everyone on this board has to offer. For so many years I've been totally with everyone in disgust over the travesty that BUsh and his little cronies brought to this country.
I'm a resident of Milwaukee having recently moved here from Des Moines, IA. During the caucuses I originally supported Barrack Obama, as I thought initially, that Hillary Clinton was not needed for president. Currently, at this point I believe her to be a raving bitch (But that's beside my main point).
As time has gone by, I've changed in a lot of ways personally, where as I used to blame the world for my troubles, I watched my job as a judicial clerk vanish, and with it my partner of 2 years. As it all flew away like so much dust in the wind, I thought that there was something wrong with the world, because my whole life, my family and friends always reinforced my belief that as a biracial (half black/half white)gay man, I was in for my share of pain.
As I reinforced that belief more and more circumstances began to join it, to prove it in so many words. I came close to suicide, until one night, I had something of an epiphany, I realized in an instant that seemed to take forever, that I gave far too much of a shit what other people thought of me. I began to believe that if I could only quit caring about what so many people think of me, that maybe, just maybe, the circumstances of my life might begin to change.
I was more right than I could ever imagine. I sit in front of my computer this afternoon in totally changed circumstances, I moved out of Des Moines, which was a city I didn't care for, back to my hometown of Milwaukee, living the life I wish, with so many constant job offers that I'm almost batting them away, and having so many guys approach me for dates that I'm really enjoying the picking and choosing of which one gets to enjoy my presence.
So many people tend to look to "God" to change all of their problems, and they continuously find themselves in a never ending vortex of disappointments, always explaining to themselves, everyone else, and themselves why it is exactly they deserve what it is they're asking for. But what I've found now, in my life, is that getting that change has to come from -your own- desire for something better, not the desire to erode someone else's view points.
So with time I started listening to this woman named Esther Hicks, and she had this really poignant video on gay rights, among other subjects, the financial crisis etc. And I think her message of disregarding the rest of the world, stopping caring about the circumstances of other lives, regardless of how positive or negative their circumstances are, and beginning to pay full attention to what -you- want, and like Gahndi said, literally becoming through your own thoughts, feelings, words, and actions, the very change in the world that you want to see.
In life, I see that many people in this country, like to regard gay people or people of color, (or in my case, both) that vote conservatively as somehow being self defeating, or being 'brainwashed', but as I began to watch the coverage on CNN/FOX/MSNBC/BBC/Democracy Now, etc. I began noticing something that I found disturbing.
I believe that Obama is a wonderful person, in addition to my viewing him as a better candidate than Hillary, he also espouses many of the qualities of being a great leader. That having been said, there is one thing that throws me off of him, which is his view on changing the course of this country. I think that undoing the damage that Bush has done to our country is of the most vital importance. However I think that people are too much looking to him for change, instead of finding their desire in their heart to bring about their own revolution of sorts. We live in a country which now has over 300 million people. Each of them in their actions, thoughts, and views on subjects, changes the course of our future, I think it's important that people remember that, and while still respecting Obama, not necessarily discounting other people, despite other's views on them, i.e. Hillary, Palin, McCain, Nader, McKinney, and most of all themselves.
Well, it's nice to finally post on D.U. and everyone have a wonderful day :)
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