A pledge from a straight African-American pro-equal marriage guy......

[marmar]

..... to convert at least one African American who opposes equal marriage every week.


And really, it's going to be easier than it might appear. The appeal has to be made on the basis of civil rights/discrimination - if you begin a conversation immediately with marriage, then the years of church dogma kick in, the ears shut down and the "But the church says" retorts rev up.

But framing it on the basis of discrimination and basic human rights, like not being entitled to a partner's - one that you took care of while they were ill - estate because his or her relatives are bigots that hate you and there's no legal recourse - is a more effective. Then work in the explanation about how only marriage rights protect this.

Getting through the visceral reaction to the word "marriage" that's been pounded into heads by years of religious dogma (I attended religious schools from kindergarten through 12th grade, so I know how intense it can be) requires work. But a more simple anti-discrimination frame is much more effective, I've found. Remember, African American support for including gays and lesbians in hate crime legislation is very high (Link to Human Rights Campaign piece http://www.hrc.org/issues/hate_crimes/4858.htm ). So I'm making a personal commitment to this, and I hope a lot of others will too, because the Prop. 8 vote stats are simply unacceptable.

And how do I know this works? It's already worked on my mother's friend, a middle aged church lady, who was very much against same-sex marriage, but really "got it" after I broke it down for her and we watched the movie "Tying the Knot."

[JustFiveMoreMinutes]

1. Thank you!

[AuntPatsy]

2. That was honestly very thoughtful....

[Betsy Ross]

3. Thank you.

I think that is what it will take.

[ColbertWatcher]

4. Thank you. I've been calling it Prop Hate. k+r, n/t

[foxfeet]

5. Thank you.

As a 57 year-old, white, gay guy, I feel helpless to do much in the way of engaging people of color on this issue (although I can and do engage Appalachian white folks). I think most of the work has to be done in our own ethnic communities, whatever they may be. I appreciate your willingness to take this on.

[marmar]

6. "I think most of the work has to be done in our own ethnic communities"

Agreed. It's always more effective coming from a member of any given community. People tend to have less of that "I'm being preached at" reaction when it does.

[Psyop Samurai]

22. I'm the same demographic as foxfeet....

...and I really appreciate your OP.

:toast:

[baby_mouse]

7. Thank you!

First sensible thing I've heard all day!

[EFerrari]

8. Exactly. That's what we need to do. Break it down so people can get it.

And, me, too, marmar.

[marmar]

9. De acuerdo, mi hermano!

n/t

[EFerrari]

13. Link for our people:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4398962

[EFerrari]

10. Kick

[Liberal_Stalwart71]

11. A pledge from a straight, African-American gal...

I pledge to be more courageous and speak out against bigotry in all forms, but especially homophobia. I do think homophobia is a major problem in the black American community, and brothers and sisters are literally dying due to sheer ignorance. Our gay and lesbian people of color have been marginalized and disowned. The hatred MUST end. No more hiding behind biblical scriptures. The hate needs to stop! I am making a commitment to stand up for equal rights and against homophobia in the black community.

[kevinbgoode]

24. And thank you as well. . .

it is an act like this which gives me strength and helps ease the pain.

[ananda]

12. If you identify as "straight" and not gay..

.. does that mean gays are "crooked"
and happy all the time?

Sometimes I hate some of the things
that labels imply.

[marmar]

18. Just using the common terminology.....heterosexual just sounds awkward to me.

.... n'est-ce pas?

[Psyop Samurai]

19. Yeah, that's what it means...

:eyes:

[tavalon]

14. You win the "Frame the Message" award for this week

I think I might actually have to establish a DU Frame That Message weekly award.

[plaintiff]

15. Thank you for a refreshing approach with a practical goal. It beats the hell out of

whining about 'racism'...
:toast:

[Barack_America]

16. A pledge from a straight, white, female Democrat.

I will try to convince my party that there are other ways to reach black voters than through black churches.

It's insulting to African Americans and it's ineffective in promoting Democratic social issues that churches will not support.

[Greyskye]

17. "There's something deeply wrong with putting the rights of a minority up to a majority vote,"

-Evan Wolfson

That's outstanding! Good luck with your commitment!

[Toasterlad]

20. Thank You! That Is The Best Way ANYONE Can Help In This Area

By TALKING about it.

[bluedawg12]

21. Thank you! This IS what we NEED! n/t

[kevinbgoode]

23. Thank you very, very much.

What you are showing me is the kind of love and support I would hope to have at this forum. I have a lot of anger over this, and it will be a very long time before that ebbs in my mind.

But your acts of kindness - and of understanding exactly what this is about - mean a lot to me. It is the very kind of reason I supported Obama so strongly, despite his own shortcomings in supporting my constitutional rights.