Why should people who live together and have sex get privileges single people do not?

[RadicalTexan]

Seriously, I'm asking.

I'm for gay marriage so long as we have state-sanctioned marriage, but, really, I think we should do away with it altogether.

Why should two people who are in a state-sanctioned sexual and cohabiting relationship get medical benefits, tax benefits, insurance benefits, and inheritance benefits that I do not, simple because I either "haven't met the right person" or don't want to be married? Why can't I, for instance, put my uninsured mother on my health insurance at work, in lieu of a spouse? I guess because I'm not having sex with her, our relationship doesn't qualify.

I would even argue that promoting marriage as a good for society is flawed thinking. We need less children, not more, and incentivizing marriage and procreating are, in my humble opinion, only adding to the problems the world faces. One can be a law-abiding, socially aware, community-involived citizen without being married.

$0.02

Meanwhile, as long as I can do it as a straight woman, I think my gay and lesbian fellow Americans' rights MUST be upheld, too.

[iamahaingttta]

1. Why should people who are in monogamous relationships get privileges...

...that people in polyamorous relationships do not?

I was in a group "marriage" for a number of years, and we never dreamed that we should have the same rights that people in monogamous relationships have. We knew the world wasn't ready for that, and we dealt with it. If I want to be in a triad, as a male with two women, why should we be denied the same rights as committed couples?

Unfortunately, the world is still not ready for same-sex marriage. It will be some day very soon. This will be the civil rights battle for this next decade, and rightly so.

However... there will still be people who are discriminated against once that battle is won.

[hlthe2b]

2. Given the demographics of so many singles (especially widows)

or elderly widowers living out their lives in a very vulnerable fashion economically, I say let all adults name a designee to share property and inheritance rights as in a marriage. I support gay marriage, but you ave a point on the civil benefits issue which is discriminatory towards singles, many who could avoid the risks of homelessness during old age and be far more secure medically if they could share property rights and medical insurance via an elderly sibling, as one example.

Two separate issues, I realize, but I have to agree with you that while marriage issues should be settled in a nondiscriminatory way, so too should we look at the civil beneficiary issues for society at large.

[greymattermom]

3. you forget the marriage tax

Many of the well off two income gays will find themselves making over 250K a year as a couple, and for sure they will be in a much higher tax bracket. Hello new taxes.

[KharmaTrain]

4. If Marriage Is Only About Sex...

...then it's never going to last. As a friend used to say to me "Married you can always get"...and IMHO it's not for everyone. I've been in a 30 plus year relationship, including "co-habitating" for over 4 years...our relationship has always been as best friends and partners...and a shared responsibility in our own lives and now the lives of our children. It's a relationship built on time, trust, respect, friendship and common causes...sex has it's place, but it's not the reason we got married, nor should it be the prime reason for anyone.

My wife's cousin is "married" to her SO...they're lesbians and our family threw a full-blown wedding for them 15 years ago. They now have 3 wonderful children and a very solid and stable relationship. They have worked just as hard to keep their families together and I find it a travesty that they can't get the same health insurance for their family that I can for mine...or that they have to EVER have to feel their famiy or relationship is any less than mine or anyone elses.

Marriage isn't for everyone...and I think our society's view of this "institution" has changed. But then I've long felt it was far too easy for people to get married and then too easy to get divorced. It just seems to create work for divorce lawyers. If you want to have sex...do it...and who cares what others say or think. We all do what we feel is best...and I'm loathe to judge whose lifestyle choices are right or wrong.