Going home for Thanksgiving to face Major Repub family

[stpalmer]

Okay, my in-laws (who I love dearly despite...) are lifelong republicans and have expressed that they are "very upset" that Obama won and that he might bring "those hoodlum black types" into the white house. Grammy called Obama a N-----. Help! How do I carry on a conversation with these people for three whole days without blowing up?

Any ideas about how to put people in their place and expose their hateful attitudes without causing a family world war? I can't just sit there and laugh off the comments anymore. I need some comebacks!

[kitfalbo]

1. Obama clothing and buttons

A new shirt every day! Then tell them if they want to talk about it you're willing to have a reasonable conversation.

[zbdent]

2. "reasonable conversation" will never happen ...

[zippy890]

3. sorry, can't think of anything helpful

I probably wouldn't go unless everyone agreed not to talk politics.

:-(

[secondwind]

4. I would tell them that Americans have voted loud and clear, and that

they can "hold their fire" and wait and see. Give the guy a chance. Hope for the best, that kind of thing.

Tell them they are "defeatists"!

[The Wielding Truth]

30. I really like your advice.

[emilyg]

5. Enjoy your family

stay away from politics.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

6. Remind them that they, as Americans, should support the PE

and then ask them how much they really know about Obama. Bet they don't know much. Be ready with information, overwhelm them with it.

[gratuitous]

7. In what respect, stpalmer?

Okay, snark aside (ha, ha), push them when they make a stupid statement. Pay out the rope, anchor chain, whatever it is they're tying into a noose and putting around their own necks. "Obama might bring those hoodlum black types into the White House!"

Really? What types?

"You know, those hoodlums."

Which hoodlums? Who are you talking about?

Unless they're extraordinarily prepared, that's probably about all the further you need to push a stupid statement like that. They're not going to be able to name anyone, and if they do, just keep after it:

"So what do you think X will do if Obama brings her/him into the White House? Are they going to burn a flag or eat some pork rinds?"

At first, they might be gratified by your curiosity. Eventually though, even the most stone-brained ones (like Grammy) may figure out that they're just looking ridiculous. Practice your most indulgent smile for when the dawn breaks on their fevered little minds.

[maxsolomon]

24. i agree: don't bring it up, but just keep asking them questions

when it does. try to keep a sense of humor - we won. remember they're afraid and they don't really know why.

ask them: if they had to DESIGN an black DEMOCRATIC candidate they'd be comfortable with, how would he be different than obama? would he have an MBA vs. a law degree? would he be from the south rather than Chicago? would he be more like say, jesse jackson, or more like he is - deliberate, articulate, calm, measured? remind them that he's MIXED race, and is half caucasian, and is not descended from african-americans. he's the son of an AFRICAN. he himself said he was a "mutt". we're americans - we're all mutts, aren't we?

and them tell them to suck it.

[Mrs. Overall]

8. Sadly, I'm choosing not to go to Thanksgiving this year with my Republican family--

I can't stand their prejudice and small-mindedness, and I've decided I don't want my children around it.

[TheCowsCameHome]

9. Most likely you can't. Order Chinese for one and sit this one out.

I can't take any more "This is what Fox said" crap. I'm maxed out. No more. I'd rather starve.

[Kahuna]

10. Ear plugs might come in verrry handy..

:scared:

[TygrBright]

11. Be gracious. You can afford it.

Practice these phrases:

"I'm sorry that worries you. I don't think it will be that bad."

"I'm afraid I don't share your views on that, but of course you're entitled to your beliefs."

"I feel hopeful about the future. I wish you could share my hope, it feels pretty good."

"It's okay to differ-- that's what America is all about. Let's enjoy the food!"

"Hey, it's Thanksgiving. Let's focus on what we have to be thankful for: family and food."

Just trot one of those out whenever it gets hairy, and keep smiling.

Good luck!

sympathetically,
Bright

[kansasblue]

12. I have the same problem, my advice

is that they are just all jazzed up by FOX and friends. I'm hearing 'he scares the hell out of me', ' he is your president' etc.

There's not really much you can do. I just remain silent and smile. We won. You're not going to change anything. A two year campaign has set their views. My advice is just smile and enjoy knowing our man won.

[Oceansaway]

13. ...

remind them that McCain lost because he suffers from E.D.

Electile Dysfunction................

[eleny]

14. Remind them that you love them and that you also expect that they show mutual respect

You shouldn't have to sit and laugh off anything. I wouldn't laugh at their horrible language.

Since you sound like you really don't want to put up with it, I'd just let them know you love them and then insist on respect in a respectful way. You're an adult and it's your Thanksgiving, too.

[Skittles]

15. fucking rub it in their faces

that's what I would do

[iamahaingttta]

16. Alcohol, lots of alcohol.

Or, if you were me, lots of weed!
It just makes the pain of it all more interesting...

[JHB]

29. Cue sage advice from the Griswold family:

Clark: Our holidays were always such a mess.
Clark Sr.: Oh, yeah.
Clark: How'd you get through it?
Clark Sr.: I had a lot of help from Jack Daniels.

[scarletwoman]

17. Do they hate Jews, too? You might point out that his Chief of Staff is not exactly a "black hoodlum"

Ask them if they think Colin Powell -- who endorsed Obama -- is a "black hoodlum". Ask them if they think Obama's VP, Joe Biden is a "black hoodlum".

Warren Buffet, Paul Volker, Lawrence Summers, Robert Rubin (another Jew?) -- all part of Obama's economic team. Ask them if they think these people would be working with Obama if there were actually any "black hoodlums" involved.

If you can't point out how absurd their fears are, then just laugh at them for being so delusional and tell them you have nothing more to say since they are obviously beyond rational thought.

sw

[RavensChick]

18. Focus on the main reason why you're all together--

to give thanks and celebrate the good things in life! I agree with the other suggestions (especially the one about ordering Chinese and sitting it out--hilarious!!!! :rofl: ). Besides, you probably see them once or twice a year (like me with my brother's in-laws, who I love but they are C-R-A-Z-Y!!!) so grin and bear it. Talk about everything other than politics and you'll be okay. If it gets rough, kindly ask for a plate of turkey and dressing to go and high tail it outta there quick!

[TheCowsCameHome]

21. Tell them you helped finish off two turkeys last week, and you're full.

Then head for the door.

[stpalmer]

19. Dad actually called Obama a rag-head

I know they get all their news from Fox--believing it's Fair and Balanced--even Hannity and Combs. I think you're all right--it's impossible to argue with someone who clings to false information. Most republicans I know use falsehoods to argue, and it's just like spinning in circles to try to get through to them. They'll never believe the truth if they don't see through the republican bs by now.

[Libertyfirst]

20. I say, " You know, We need to give the guy a chance to show what he can do.

People are always nervous about a new President. Why don't we see how he does and talk about it next year." That's all I'm going to say to those who want to take the approach you are describing. I did it at a board meeting today and it did seem to turn the discussion to other things.

[SammyWinstonJack]

22. I'd stay home, but that's just me. "those hoodlum black types" Yep, I'd just stay home.

[yawnmaster]

23. In my case, I've found that many of my family...

especially the repubs are a bit over saturated, tired, etc. of the intense election politics of the last two years.
We actually talk about other things now!
Just being here shows us to be a political junkie of one rank or another,
but it is actually refreshing, relieving, and fun! to talk about things closer to home than Washington (unless you live there).

[johnnypneumatic]

25. Smile and hand back everything they said about you being against *

Obama won. Get over it.
You're out of touch with mainstream america. Elitest!
Nigger??? Racist!
If you don't support the president then what are you? an anti-american traitor?
Don't you support the troops? You know they voted for Obama six to one...
You've just been brainwashed by the conservative (not liberal) media.
Why do you hate america?

What are all the other repuke lines they used against us?

[whatdoyouthink]

26. Well

I would ask them- right up front How is there 401k, retirement accounts, job securtiy/etc..

Ask them how Bush & CO, can watch will they "Big Three" are going down the drain! and they wont help - but bankers....

Ask them why we shipped off all are jobs oversees...and Republicans did nothing (helped) to stop it!

Forget social or security questions...wont work with them- BUT MONEY ALWAYS DOES:)


Or


Dot around the kids and (garge/garden/etc) don't talk politics - and if they cross the line (Racist crap) pak up and leave, and tell them see you in four yrs.

[The Wielding Truth]

27. Tell them to turn off RW talk and watch how much better life is

and tell them to watch this country rise up and sing. Things will get so much better when American Democracy holds diversity up. Good things always shake out.

Look at them. Are their ancestors form another country? They should thank all they have, that this country is and hopefully will always be a melting pot.

Tell them not to fear Barack Obama because has never gravitated to any "hoodlum black types" and will not when he has this huge job job do.

Tell them that McCain is more apt to surround himself with idiots who he would fight against. Tell them that they are so fortunate that most of America has voted for a man who has spent his whole life helping and listening to Americans, and studying and teaching the Constitution.

He believes in the American Dream and the American Dream is sweeter when it's shared.

Or when you say grace, just say God bless our new American President.

[cherokeeprogressive]

28. Who uses phrases like "those hoodlum black types"? How OLD are these people?

Sounds like something from the 1940s.

[stpalmer]

35. Think "redneck"

[OKNancy]

31. I told my ex-son-in-law (yeah) that he could certainly

think those thoughts, but if he says it out loud it makes him sound ignorant. "you don't want to sound ignorant, do you?"

[Arugula Latte]

32. How about something like: "Well, Bush ruined the economy, Iraq, New Orleans, and the Constitution

So, how much worse can Obama be?"

[DU GrovelBot]

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[The Velveteen Ocelot]

34. Suggest a friendly wager.

"I'm ready to take my chances with Obama. In fact, I'm so confident in him that I'm willing to suggest we make a wager. I will bet you (some amount, preferably a large one) that one year from today your guns have not been confiscated and you can still buy them (or, there will be no black hoodlums in the White House, or that nobody has been compelled to convert to Islam, or that celebrating Christmas is still legal everywhere, or that your tax rates have not increased, or whatever other crazy right-wing claim they've heard on Faux Noise). Are you willing to bet me the same amount that this will happen? A thousand bucks, maybe, if you're so sure? If the government hasn't confiscated your guns by November 11, 2009, will you honor your bet and pay me a thousand bucks? Because a thousand bucks says it won't happen. Gonna take me up on it?"

See if they bite?

[chollybocker]

36. Serve them the proverbial three-eyed fish.

Bring a dish of candied yams with OBAMA spelled out in mini marshmallows on top. Fun times for all!

[AlCzervik]

37. do yourself a favor, kill them with kindness.

you win.

[RB TexLa]

38. When politics comes up just tell them "it doesn't matter what you think you are no longer relevant."

[enough]

39. At 64, I'm starting to get VERY tired of being polite and friendly to people

who are bigots, and who rudely feel they have the right to fill the atmosphere with their point of view. I'm leaning toward the advice given above in this thread: don't go. Why should you have to adjust yourself to their point of view. They seem to feel no need to tolerate yours.

I know this sounds harsh, but I'm speaking from a lifetime of experience with this.

Best to you.

[TXDemGal]

40. Hopefully they don't live too far north

so you can spend a lot of time outside on the porch drinking adult beverages. :beer:

[old mark]

41. Best bet: Get "sick" this year, have your own - peaceful - day,

see them next year when they have been acclimated to Obamas in the White house. I see no way to go there and have a happy day - Skip is, lose the stress, be happy.
You can not argue with people like that.

mark

[Qanisqineq]

42. try to steer clear of politics

if you really like them and want a peaceful holiday. At least you like your in-laws. I haven't seen mine in 6 years (I've been married for 8) and don't care if I never see them again.

[NeedleCast]

43. Just try to steer clear of politics

Really it's that simple.

Real life does not have to be about politics 24/7

[norepubsin08]

44. At dinner volunteer to do the prayer

before the meal and shout YES WE CAN, YES WE DID and YES WE WILL!!! and then say Amen!