Fucking Ninjas.

[Shardik]

Held me down and peeled my Obama sticker off my car.

Then they spray painted "Palin 2012" on my dog.

They laughed in a strange way that didn't match their mouth movements and went to my neighbor's house where they had cake and iced tea.

I'll get those bastards back as soon as I find my Master to teach me their evil Ninja ways!

[givemebackmycountry]

1. OMG! Poor Dog.

At least they didn't carve a B into your cheek.

Did anyone consider that the "B" could have been a "B" for OMG!


BUSH!

[Shardik]

4. They tried,

but some old Asian dude with a long white beard, mustache and long flowing robes defied all laws of physics and flew down from the sky and sent them to the neighbor's for the cake and tea. He then hopped along the rooftops of the neighborhood and I lost track of him.

It's been an odd day.

[Joe the Liberal]

2. Thats a cute ninja there.....

But spray painting "Palin 2012" on your dog is something new to me.

[Shardik]

5. Sure. They were only six inches tall...

but they still kicked my ass. Fuckers were good.

They came out of nowhere. I was eating some mushrooms I found in a field and then, BAM! there they were!

I fought them as long as I could but these damned Lilliputian ninjas got the best of me.

[sakabatou]

3. Yeah, if only you had the sharingan eyes

[zbdent]

6. look for the girl with the sun in her eyes ...

and she's gone ...

[sakabatou]

14. Well...

The sharigan can burn you with black flames that will burn for over a week.

[zbdent]

20. ugh ... again?

I hate when that happens ...

[sakabatou]

28. Oh but good news

You can use a fire-sealing scroll for them.

[Shardik]

8. Unfortunately

only one of my eyes is Sharingan.

[sakabatou]

13. And the other one is...?

[Shardik]

16. I'm not sure. I bought if off some Borg dude.

[Recursion]

7. I fucking hate ninjas

Learn Jodo. Force is the only language these animals respect.

[Shardik]

9. They're bastards for sure.

But they are cunning and so strong for 6" stuffed ninjas.

[zbdent]

21. Jodo? Didn't he destroy the ring?

[Recursion]

25. No, no, that's Frito you're thinking of

[zbdent]

26. ah, yes ... Hiro Corleone ...

gotta ask for the GodNinja's permission ...

[Shardik]

27. I think Sonny was there.

The curly blond hair was odd.

[Nevernose]

10. Why do you promote such hateful racial stereotypes?

Not all ninjas are bad. What about the ninjas who are out there every single day, bravely defending us from pirates and zombies and such? I, for one, am thankful for the secret ninja society that rules over the shadow world -- and you should be too!

[Shardik]

11. Ninjas can be of any race and they all talk funny if your watch their mouths...

And there are both good and evil ninjas. They are hard to tell apart.

The best hint is if they are six inches tall and feel of felt. Then they are the evil ninjas!

[Nevernose]

12. You're not a racist...

...but "they talk funny" and they all look alike to you? Why do you hate America and her proud history of American Ninjitsu?

[Norrin Radd]

19. They were Canadian ninja:

http://www.internationalhero.co.uk/c/cananinj.htm

[AsahinaKimi]

18. agreed..

And what about the really cute ones?

[McCamy Taylor]

15. I hate when Ninjas do that! The only way you can control Ninjas is with RED HEARTS!

See! They hate red hearts! Terrified of them. Especially if you get a little girl with afro-puff hair to throw them around like ninja stars. Try it sometime. It really works!

[obiwan]

17. I wanna know...did their car have Alaskan plates?

[youthere]

22. Okay..that is without a doubt the funniest thread title I have ever seen on DU.

[underpants]

23. Their voices were dubbed?

Fucking Ninjas!!

[NeedleCast]

24. As a Pirate, I've spent a lot of time fighting Ninjas

Pirates > Ninjas.

[Soylent Brice]

29. i see your pirates...

... and raise you four ice pirates.

[Shardik]

30. LOL...

Loved that movie. One of the best of the "B's."

[Soylent Brice]

34. it's the movie that made me realize

that i love shitty movies.

:shrug:

[NeedleCast]

31. That's what I'm saying

You can't karate chop a laser blast from ice priates. Stupid Ninjas.

[Soylent Brice]

35. no, but if you speed up time though...

it could be like matrix style bullet time, and you could deflect the laser beams with your abnormally large beard that you grew.

[Shardik]

37. Oh, Geeze, now I'm gonna have to watch that movie again. n/t

[orleans]

32. !

[Roland99]

33. ph34r m3

[Marr]

36. Were these North American Ninjas or the poisonous Asian Ninja?

They can be difficult to tell apart in the middle of a sighting, but here's a handy photo that is totally authentic and highlights the differences in the two breeds.

The North American Ninja is usually a little bigger and carries firearms. They aren't poisonous though.