If the carmakers want a bailout, make them compete for it.

[ColbertWatcher]

We should have done this with the bank bailout, too, but I didn't think of it until now.

Make all the American car makers bid for $25 billion.

Whichever offers the best plan gets the cash.

Scratch that, make it a game show!

America's Next Top Carmaker!

They have to qualify to compete of course, but to give the Big Three some incentive to do what's right, we should open it up to any American manufacturer, design group, university, etc.

To qualify they have to be American-owned and American-based. They have to be dedicated to building environmentally-friendly vehicles from the beginning of the manufacturing process all the way through to the fuel efficiency, exhaust, etc. And the company has to be employee-friendly and UNION.

For the first week's competition, they have to design a public transportation system for the entire United States using light rail between cities and smaller trains or buses for use within cities. The Centre for City Ecology will decide wins, and which company gets booted out.

For the second week, the companies have to compete for best employee benefits program, with only unemployed auto workers allowed to pick the winners/loser.

The CEOs for each company will have to spend the entire third week homeless, penniless and working 12 hour days in job they personally fear. For instance, if the CEO is afraid of heights, they have to work as one of those high-rise window washers. The winners will be decided based on people recently laid off from the very jobs they were performing.

The fourth week will be almost the same as the third, except they have can live in tiny apartments and receive a small allowance, but this time they have to work on the waitstaff of a very busy restaurant and let their customers vote on who stays and who goes.

In the fifth week, they can start the auto manufacturing portion of the competition by designing a car that meets the fuel-efficiency standards of China. American viewers can vote out the car company that makes the worst vehicle.

And then so on with different challenges until there is only two companies left.

Those two can split the $25 billion.

[lib2DaBone]

1. ..What about the $16 Billion in New Factories Ford was building in Mexico?

...Ford can go to Mexico and get the money they need.

[ColbertWatcher]

2. Who is paying Ford to build factories in Mexico? n/t

[dipsydoodle]

3. Maybe they are getting incentive grants

from the Mexican government ?

[ColbertWatcher]

4. Then that should disqualify them.

I'd change the rules to exclude them for pulling that shit.

[dipsydoodle]

5. I'm not sure what the deal is

with VW's Golf factory out there. Maybe the Mexicans build the factory and then lease it to the manufacturer ?

[ColbertWatcher]

6. Kick. n/t