A different Christmas: donations to food banks and Toys for Tots instead of family

[mnhtnbb]

Many DU'ers know that I come from a family of die hard Republicans. In 2004 I really thought I could
convince my brother--an MD/PhD oncology researcher working for Big Pharma--to vote Kerry by appealing
to his life long dedication to science. It was a no-go. We ended up agreeing to not discuss politics.

This year, I came to a falling out with his wife (my sister-in-law) over e-mails that she would forward
that were filled with lies, half truths, anti-Obama tirades. I finally put her on my blocked list.
This is a person I've known for over 40 years and I finally couldn't take it anymore.

Their kids are all grown. Two are working on PhD's and one is still an undergraduate. My youngest just started college and my oldest is working and has his own place. Several years ago I tried to suggest it was time to reconfigure Christmas, by eliminating the gift giving. My SIL objected and I gave in.

I just sent an e-mail to my brother saying this is the year for change. I told him we were going to donate what we'd normally spend on Christmas presents for his family to our local food bank and Toys for Tots. I requested that they not spend anything on gifts for our family--but donate to a local charity of his choice.

I feel a tremendous relief in finally coming to the decision to honor the true meaning of Christmas.
My brother's family is not in need of anything--and neither are we. When my kids were young I always
took them with me to pick out toys that we would then donate to the local agency collecting for kids who wouldn't have any Christmas. I haven't done that for many years and I'm looking forward to
resuming that tradition.

Anybody else want to join me?

[CoffeeCat]

1. For two years, we took our two girls to...

...pick out toys for Toys For Tots.

We haven't done it in three years. Thanks for the most excellent reminder. We will definitely
be rekindling a tradition that we started, but stopped doing.

That's awesome that you are leading your family on this issue. There are so many who are struggling
right now. You're right, this is the perfect year to start doing this and to be serious about it.

Kudos to you!

:)

[mnhtnbb]

3. I wish I could get my 18 and 22 yo boys to go with me again...but it's not gonna' happen.

I have very fond memories of taking them to pick out toys for donation when they were much, much younger. I think I'll ask them this year if they remember it, at all.

[2Design]

2. yes

[yellerpup]

4. I commend you and I join you.

I've actually been doing this for years. My sister still kicks about it, but since I don't have to spend the holidays around her it doesn't affect me at all. (I spent two Christmases with her a few years ago and was disgusted by the rampant consumerism inherent in her 'celebrations') Since I was unemployed at the time, I only bought token gifts for her (grown) children and a $20 gift for her grandson. She told me that she had instructed her kids not to bother to write thank you notes to me because I hadn't really spent that much. When I reminded her that I was unemployed and had NO discretionary income she said, "Well, that's what credit cards are for!" For years before I moved near to her (I have since moved away) and since I've been back in my emotionally comforting Blue state, I have given to charity during the holidays, baked treats for the homeless outreach, donated clothes, time, and when I did spend cash, I used it to play Secret Santa to the underprivileged. It is ever so much more rewarding to help people who need help and give gifts to someone who is grateful that someone is thinking of them than blow it on spoiled brats who judge you for the dollar amount you spend.

I am lucky to have a job now that involves me in helping people on a daily basis. It doesn't pay well, but there is plenty of work and making a positive difference is the most satisfying contribution a person can make. I think you have been visited by the true spirit of Love, and that's what we should remember.

K&R! :dem:

[mnhtnbb]

6. My SIL is one of those right wing Christians who makes a big deal

out of her church going, singing in the choir, etc. But she just doesn't get it. You should have seen
Christmas at their house--with 5 kids--when they were all young. It took them all morning to open
the presents! Start at 7:30 or 8 a.m. and not be done until noon. I kid you not. The consumerism
was unbelievable.

I gave up on doing presents for most of the kids several years ago and would send checks. Only one or two would write thank-you's. Last year one of them told me his father helped him open a brokerage
account and he had deposited his Christmas check into it! That's not what I had in mind.

I am relieved I no longer have to make a Christmas visit to my brother and SIL. Maybe I'll donate the airfare, too!

[yellerpup]

10. I'm with you!

The first time I spent Christmas at her house, I was shocked to see gifts literally piled up to the ceiling. I guess I wasn't able to hide my embarrassment (and shame). She said I didn't understand because I don't have kids. (hers were 23, 29 & 32 at the time) She didn't invite me back the next year until the day after the gifts had been opened and most of them carried away. She thinks I don't know how to celebrate Christmas and I feel the same way about her. I think you have it right this year. A warm coat, a toy when none is expected, a basket of groceries, a cookie that represents someone's best effort, having heat in the house or a nice, thick blanket these represent the proper spirit. If you want to sing a joyful song or hymn when you deliver, all the much better, but lavishing consumer goods upon the ungrateful and jaded just doesn't cut it for me. If you have airfare to donate, I celebrate you! Merry Christmas!

[Skittles]

5. I have always done this

[ColbertWatcher]

7. Great idea.

I've been posting a "Food Bank Friday" thread (http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=389&topic_id=4506796&mesg_id=4506796) for a few weeks now, but what with the holidays coming, we need to include the little ones too.

Thank you so much for your idea.

[mnhtnbb]

8. Thanks for the link. Unemployment is creeping up in our area.

[ColbertWatcher]

9. It's up everywhere, not just your area. Unless you consider your area to be America. n/t

[mnhtnbb]

19. The Triangle area of NC had been somewhat immune and that is no longer true.

Lots of people have been moving into the area because they had heard jobs were available. They are finding out that is not the case any more.

[flpab]

14. True meaning of Christmas

We have started just taking off and going somewhere instead of having to do the family thing. I hate the commercialism of it all. Some of us at work decided no gift exchange this year. We see so many soldiers coming in and out of our airport that we got the address of this one guy who really tugged at our heart. You get those apo boxes that can be crammed full and send off to them for 10.00. They love magazines, snack food for patrols, foot powder, insoles, chaplip stuff, eye wash, beef jerky, etc. Just to show you are thinking of them. We see so many going back and back and back again. Last year my cousin was in Iraq and being a chaplain we sent him female and male boxes for him to give out to those who really didn't get many packages from home.
The food banks are low this year and don't go by a bell ringer without dropping something in the bucket. I have heard everyone I work with say that they are cutting way back this year. We are in the mess we are in because we think we have to have everything that comes out. I was even looking at that new blackberry and was like WHY? My old phone is ok.

Thanks for starting this post!

[ourbluenation]

11. Great idea - also battered women's shelter would be a great place. For the victims kids especially.

thx

[AwakeAtLast]

16. My daughter's Daisy Scout troop adopted a mother and daughter from a shelter for Christmas

The daughter is around their age. They are also collecting food that will be deposited on their shelves.

The girls are really excited about it!

[OnionPatch]

12. My family decided to do this, too, this year.

We finally settled on Friends of Pine Ridge. http://www.friendsofpineridgereservation.org/
Last time we gave to Heifer International. http://www.heifer.org/site/c.edJRKQNiFiG/b.201452/

There are so many great organizations. Who needs another sweater anyway? :shrug:

[Beausoir]

13. In lieu of gifts, we donate to a women's shelter and adoption agency in Houston, Texas.

These people are wonderful.

They run an office out of a strip mall, yet they have a food pantry, they house at least a dozen women PLUS their children. They provide legal resources, since the majority of their clinets are undocumented workers.

The name of the agency is Alternatives In Motion. AIM. In Houston, Texas.

http://www.aimadoptions.org/

If you happen to have $5 dollars to spare, this is a great organization.

[Hissyspit]

15. I'm assuming DU will choose America's Second Harvest again this year for our Christmas charity drive

They've changed their name to Feeding America. Americans are still giving, but it is my understanding that food charities are very hard pressed.

I made donations in the name of several family members last Christmas and agree it is a great idea.

[Beausoir]

18. There are MANY other worthy places to donate. Alternatives In Motion helps

women. Most are prostitutes. Most are trying to get their life back on track.

If you would like to help....please kick in $5.

http://www.aimadoptions.org/

[mnhtnbb]

17. Thanks to everyone for the comments on other great charities.

[mnhtnbb]

20. Reply from my brother last night to the e-mail: he said his wife agreed!

I have to admit I'm skeptical whether they'll really make the donations, though, or just forgo the gifts. Doesn't matter, at least I will feel better with the new plan.