Minnesota women lead the way in domestic violence services

[annm4peace]

http://www.tcdailyplanet.net/article/2008/11/18/shelter-storm-minnesota-women-lead-way-domestic-violence-services.html

Shelter from the storm: Minnesota women lead the way in domestic violence services
By Erin Parrish , Minnesota Women's Press
November 23, 2008
“I got in the car with my kids and I thought, now what? Where do I go, what do I do? I was not going to my family, because I knew he’d go there first. So I hit Highway 94 west. I thought, there are some big cities this way; maybe I can find a job. It was July but it was kind of cool out. I had brought eight sweaters for my kids. They were 11, 10 and 7 years old then. I hit a phone booth and asked for directions to the women’s shelter.”

-Cecelia Jones

Minnesota women led the way: Women’s Advocates, the nation’s first shelter for battered women and their children, was founded in St. Paul in 1974. Others followed its lead. And four years later, the Minnesota Coalition for Battered Women (MCBW), a statewide organization, sprung up to bring together advocates across the state.

So Many Victims
Domestic violence is a problem that is staggering in its scope. Here are a few facts and figures:

In fiscal year 2006,37,010 Minnesota women and children were served by community advocacy programs for battered women.

Domestic violence victims account for over 25% of all violent crime victims in Minnesota.

1 of 3 homeless women in Minnesota is homeless at least in part due to domestic violence.

Domestic violence is a major public health problem that exceeds $5.8 billion each year in the United States in health related costs.

90-95% of domestic violence victims are women.

The FBI estimates that a domestic violence crime is committed about once every 15 seconds.

[Dinger]

1. K & R

[BlueIris]

2. Great job, Minnesota.

Sorry you're forced to make such an effort.

[Ellen Forradalom]

3. Duluth pioneered an innovative legal strategy

for prosecuting domestic violence cases even where the victim refuses to testify. Saw a documentary about it once. Fascinating.

[Triana]

4. And we can help prevent domestic violence by preventing domestic **abuse**...

..which in 100% of cases precedes the physical violence.

This article does the entire issue a disservice (as many do) by NOT distinguishing between domestic ABUSE and domestic VIOLENCE. These are separate but related issues.

We don't wait until cancer is at its last stages before treating it. Why do we wait until domestic abuse (verbal, psychological, emotional, sexual - much like that which occurs in Guantanimo and Abu Graib, only it happens in American homes every moment of every day) escalates to domestic violence before we do anything about it?

See, domestic ABUSE is what PRECEDES domestic violence. They are related, but are NOT the same thing. Prevent the abuse - and you prevent the violence. I see nothing in the article about preventing abuse - only about acting after the abuse has escalated to physical violence.

If we're EVER going to get anywhere with this issue, those two terms and those two issues MUST be dealt with separately and relatively. ABUSE first. Then violence, when it occurs.

WHERE is the education about abuse that always precedes the violence? Where are the classes in elementary, Jr. high schools, high schools, and colleges about "healthy communications" (which would help young people with not only intimate, but also family and professional relationships and friendships) that defines what verbal abuse is (and is not), what emotional abuse is, and what healthy boundaries are (how to protect oneself from those who would be abusive and disrespectful) - and what mutually respectful relationships between two people are like and what behaviors show a person does NOT respect you - and what to DO about it to protect yourself - esp in intimate or friendship/family involvements?

There are books upon books out there about this -- and much is known of it by those who work in the field. It should be a REQUIRED part of any DV program -- and of any public primary and secondary education cirriculum. Ideally, kids would learn about mutually respectful relationships by seeing their parents in theirs and would learn about healthy boundaries also from parents and family. But that doesn't always happen. In fact, it rarely does.

These communication and relationship skills should be a part of what we are taught as a society starting in school at young ages - THAT is how you prevent domestic violence - you prevent the ABUSE first. Because the abuse often leads to violence in such situations, when the abuse is not recognized or dealt with first.

When abuse is not recognized or dealt with (and I consider this a public education issue) - then in intimate / family relationships, it often leads to domestic VIOLENCE. And WAITING until that happens, is like waiting for cancer to spread throughout your whole body before doing anything about it. It makes no sense to fight domestic VIOLENCE - without fighting and educating people ALSO (first) about domestic ABUSE, which always precedes domestic violence.

http://www.escapeabuse.com

I wrote to change.gov about this - to the Obama transition team - because this IS something I'd like to see tackled. I doubt it'll happen, but it needs to - BADLY.

Until it is dealt with, well - waiting until the CANCER of abuse has become fullfledged domestic VIOLENCE in people's lives - will not stop the problem at its core. It is only a prophylactic and after the fact at that.

I'm not saying DV programs and shelters and Joe Biden's VAWA is useless - quite the contrary! I AM saying these programs need to be EXPANDED and expounded upon to include education about ABUSE - not just violence after-the-fact. And that this education needs to become part of our required US educational cirriculum starting at a very young age.

[sandnsea]

6. Usually violent people escalate their violence

It really isn't true that every individual who yells at someone or has control issues is going to turn into a violent monster. It isn't even true that everybody who gets mad and breaks a coffee cup is going to murder someone someday. What we have to figure out is how to identify the psychopath and separate them from society, and then teach coping mechanisms to the rest. We waste valuable resources by not spending more time discerning the truly dangerous from the hothead from the addict, etc.

[Triana]

7. It IS true, though, that in EVERY case of domestic violence, that violence was preceded by...

..ABUSE.

Simply yelling at someone isn't abuse. This is where education and proper definitions of what abuse is and teaching how to recognize it comes in.

It is NOT a waste of resources to teach this. It can help potential victims protect themselves by recognizing abusive patterns in their partner's behavior, and help them set up protective boundaries BEFORE it becomes violence. That isn't a waste of resources.

It is a necessity and until this is done, domestic violence will continue to be the epidemic it is. It has to be dealt with WHERE IT STARTS and it starts with abuse.

[sandnsea]

8. That really doesn't help

Violent children become violent teens become violent adults. There are plenty of people who are dysfunctional, mean, and verbally abusive - who never become violent. I know yours is the popular theory, I just know it to be wrong from years of clinical observation. Some day the social workers will find the words and the method to define the pscyhopathically violent and we will be alot safer when they do.

[ogneopasno]

5. Here's information on the groundbreaking Duluth Model.

http://www.theduluthmodel.org/duluthmodelonpublic.php