Life sure does get curious.

[cherokeeprogressive]

First, let me thank everyone again for the responses and well wishes for my Mom. For those of you who didn't read my post the other day, my Mom has breast cancer. She found out Monday. But that's not the reason for this post.

This afternoon I was texting with my 17 year old daughter Allison about calling her Grandma. The last text I got from her on that subject was to ask if a radical mastectomy would make her okay. I told her we'd have to wait and see, and that nothing was for sure yet. Then this text from her, and I'm typing it from my in and out boxes on my cell phone:

Her: Can I tell you something?
Me: Of course. Anything.
Her: It might not be a good time because it's the holidays though, and because of what's going on with Grandma, but I'm just tired of not telling.
Me: (After a few minutes of waiting) And?
Her: (Again, after a long pause) I'm Gay.
Me: Is that all? Goodness, I was afraid you were going to tell me you had dropped out of school or something.
Her: Ha Ha. You're too funny. No I didn't drop out of school, in fact I'm transferring to Mayfair Feb. 2nd.
Me: Hey. No worries here, okay? I kinda thought so anyway. I STILL LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART. NEVER FORGET THAT.
Her: Does anyone else know?
Me: Not that I know of. The subject has never come up. And I'm going to leave it up to you to tell who you want, when you want.
Her: Thanks.
Me: Are you still my Baby?
Her: Of course, why would you even ask.
Me: It's just nice to know sometimes.
Her: Silly.
Me: Sweet Dreams Baby
Her: You Too!

Wow. I can only imagine what she must have felt when she hit the send button after I'm Gay. I only hope I reacted in the right way. I won't get to talk to her in person until after the first of the year. I plan on asking her.

Last night when I went to bed, I was smiling so big that my Ms. noticed. Even in the dark. I was guessing that Allison was feeling like a ton of bricks had been lifted from her shoulders. And that maybe I made shedding those bricks a little easier. At least that's what I hope anyway.

I'm still smiling.

Gonna go out and have a cocktail at my favorite dive bar now, there are snowflakes falling here.

I just had to tell SOMEONE. I'm glad to know she trusts me enough to feel like I'm one person she can be open with. That doesn't mean I broke my promise to her does it?

[Danger Mouse]

1. Nah. Good for you for being so understanding.

[jeff30997]

2. What a great story.

And obviously you're a great dad.K&R

[ElsewheresDaughter]

3. I really really like you!

[Kali]

4. *sniff*

that was beautiful

[lindbergh]

5. You, sir, are a Most Excellent Person. May I give your mom a hug?

I lost mine 3 months ago and I regret not being more lavish with them to her.

[elleng]

6. I'm smiling, too!

What pleasure we get from these times when we realize we've done a good job, doing what we can by helping ours become intelligent and wise members of society!

THANKS and GOOD LUCK!

[NMDemDist2]

7. what a great dad

and a great kid and a great mom too.

may you all live healthy and happy. :hug: for your mom too, It's gotta be hella scary but hopefully they caught it early and she'll make a full recovery

:yourock:

[CrispyQ]

8. Your daughter has a great dad!

I'm so sorry about your mother. The best to her & all of you. :hug:

[thrift_store_angel]

9. I so remember that long pause

and I know exactly what she felt like when she hit the send button...your reaction was fine. And you changed your avatar/icon thingy too. *S* Now no more making me cry ok? *S*

[Canuckistanian]

10. You did good. In fact, fantastic.

Your line "Is that all?" - a classic.

You are a true MENSCH.

Have a good time at your dive. You deserve it.

[FreeState]

11. Congrats - you handled that perfectly

many of us wish our parents had handled it that way:)

[aquart]

12. That was lovely.

I sat with two friends as they got up the courage to tell their families, first one, then the other. And the fear that they would lose their straight friends as well as their families. And at first, the families took it hard and it took years, not so many but too many, to bring acceptance and peace.

So yes, you took the most enormous weight off her.

[geckosfeet]

13. Sweeter than pie.

[Berry Cool]

14. That is really a terrific story and you did just the right thing.

I hope everything goes great for all of you, in every way.

[phusion]

15. great story

it must feel great to know that she came to you first. :toast:

[leftofthedial]

16. good dads

are a wonderful thing.


:-)

[az chela]

17. You are a very special dad and the reason your daughter

knew she could confide in you is because she KNOWS how GREAT you are

[cordelia]

18. A loved daughter

And a loved dad.

What a sweet story.

And best to your mom.

[Irishonly]

19. You are a grest dad

What a wonderful man you are.

[dsc]

20. that is such a sweet story

Hope your mom is OK.

[Night_Nurse]

21. Your response was perfect :-) nt

[tech3149]

22. That sounds like the kind of conversation I'd enjoy

I helped a few friends back in HS deal with being gay. The feeling of relief and reduction of stress were well worth the effort. The hardest thing was getting parents to accept their children for who they were.

I commend you for letting your love guide you. I've probably got a few more years behind me and know how much age affects viewpoint on homosexuality. I hope that within 10 years sexual orientation won't be an issue. I might be too hopeful, but I hope not.

[tavalon]

26. I have a hard time wrapping my head around why it would be so hard to accept

If my kid confessed to being a serial killer, that would be tough, but "confessing" to loving humans with different plumbing that you expect they will love just doesn't strike me as hard. But then, I live a different love style and perhaps I'm just projecting the kind of acceptance I would like (and mostly get) to have. One of my partners' mother tries to accept him, but makes rules like he can't bring more than one partner over at a time which means for Thanksgiving and Christmas, he has to choose whether he's going to be with his chosen family (his triad marriage and his stepkid) or repudiate his life and pretend for his mother. He's not happy and she's not happy. I don't get it.

[Lochloosa]

23. Great answer and thinking of your Mom.

:hug:

[AsahinaKimi]

24. wow..

teary eyed. Nice!!:toast:

[tavalon]

25. This is a pretty anonymous place and

you sure put a smile on my face. She's a lucky daughter.

[JDwho]

27. My thoughts have been w/ your family; and your response was perfect.

Your daughter knows you love her unconditionally. That's perfection.
Thoughts and prayers to your Mom :)

[Delphinus]

28. You done good.

:hug: I'm so glad she has you for a parent.

And best wishes to your mom on her breast cancer.

[DarkTirade]

29. Kinda reminds me of my brother's reaction when I came out to him.

"Oh really? I didn't know that."

That was all. :P When I was a kid I always complained that my family was different from everyone else's. Now, in hindsight, I'm damn glad they were.

[Cults4Bush]

30. Well done and Bravo!

You did it right.. so very right. Just beautiful :)

Im still smiling too.

[cherokeeprogressive]

31. Thanks for the responses! (Ouch, my head hurts)

Had ONE cocktail too many last night.

I have to say, in an attempt to be perfectly honest, that I already believed Allison to be gay. Don't tell me how I came to believe that, but I did. It might have been her 1 inch long hair, that over the last three months has been either jet black, hideous orange, or bleached white. She's 17 and carries a wallet. Her and her "best friend" have, amongst their many bracelets; rainbow ones. She must have called 50 times before the election to make sure I was voting NO on H8te. Some of her clothing choices actually make me laugh. Now, each of those things by itself don't say ANYTHING, but in their totality, they led me to believe my daughter might be gay (I hope that doesn't make me a bad person). My text conversation with her wasn't revelation, but confirmation. I'm glad it happened. We spoke on the phone this morning and there was a new quality to our talk, a new trust and appreciation. I'm fucking ten feet tall today.

I had imagined having that conversation with her many times. I had even thought about asking her, but as soon as I had the thought, I realized how wrong that would have been. I tried to plan what I was going to say before we got to that moment in time. All I knew for sure though was that I DIDN'T want to screw it up.

So, just like that, I have chips in the poker game that is Prop H8te. I think I need to go call out some mormons.

A little background on her: Her mom and I divorced when she was six. She went to a christian school until ninth grade, when she transferred to a place called Bellflower High School in L.A. County. Talk about culture shock. It's a very bad school in a pretty bad place. Things didn't work out well for her at all. Two girls took to picking on her, and a brand new bike I bought her to get to school on was stolen right from underneath her by two punks. So she transferred to "continuation school" because she hadn't earned a single credit by the end of her freshman year. She's been there ever since. She's a model student now, a teacher's aide; in fact she's bloomed and prospered and received a few awards. Now she's going back to regular high school, albeit a different one, and I'm tickled to death. She's won a few poetry competitions and when she draws your face it's like looking in the mirror. I've tried to get her to come up to the mountains and live with ME, even promised her a car, but her mom totally, completely, and unconditionally nixed that. Allison will be 18 in August, so maybe after her mom can't legally stop her we'll see. I'm guessing no though, because she's talking about going on to college. That makes my town out of the question. I think she'll have to make a two year stop at a Community College because of her terrible transcript. She knows though that no matter what, as long as she's going to school, I'm paying the tuition. No questions asked.

So that's where it stands. Like I said, life does get curious. Monday I found out about the cancer, Wednesday I was blessed with my Daughter's trust and love. Do you think I'll have a good day today? Oh, my friends, I already have.

Heartfelt blessings to everyone out there today, celebrating, or not. That's why I like Thanksgiving, it's title is pretty ambiguous. For me, it's just a day to give thanks. Who cares what the background is; I'm very thankful today.

Peace!

[MadMaddie]

32. cherokeeprogressive I can tell you exactly how she felt

I told my parents, while my Grandmother was sick too. It is such a heavy burden not to tell your parents the truth. When I finally got the nerve to do it at the age of 30 I finally felt that burden lift off of my shoulders and I could breath again.

My parents didn't react the same way you did but after 15 years with my partner I think they have figured out it's not a phase.

I would like to commend you for the amazing response that you had, your daughter will always remember that.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

K & R

[LaurenG]

33. Thank you for this great exchange - you're a great parent

and you made me cry. :cry:

[northofdenali]

34. You're the diametric opposite of Olberman's Worst Person In the World!

You're the kind of parent every kid needs, and deserves. What a terrifically loving way to handle a large announcement! :hug::yourock::hug:

It says a lot about you (and your beautiful daughter) that she is able to communicate this way!

[Truth2Tell]

35. Error: You've already recommended that thread. nt

[Ellen Forradalom]

36. "Is that all?"

Perfect. Because it really is not a big deal. It's only a big deal because those other fuckers out there make it a big deal.

[AnotherMother4Peace]

37. Just when DU snarkiness starts getting to me, I read a post like yours & DU is a great place again.

Thanks for sharing. You got me smiling too.

[G_j]

38. Love: the real family value!

thanks!

[FloridaJudy]

39. I wish that every GLBT person

In the world had a parent like you.

You done good.

[yardwork]

40. You are a wonderful person.

Ok, now I'm sniffling a little as I read this.

I didn't know your mom was ill. I hope that her treatments go well and she fully recovers.