Didn't eat at my relatives for Thanksgiving because of politics

[louis c]

First off, I had no intention of talking politics today. There is no need to when you win. I have cousins that all work for the government, yet they think they should be Republicans. You know the type, blue collar bigots. I'm in the private sector, but a strong union guy (President of my local). I worked up in New Hampshire during the campaign for Obama. As a matter of fact, it was written up in the local papers. My cousins' husbands are 2 custodians, a female cousin is another custodian, and her husband works for a group that is underwritten by government grants (CAPIC). What really is starling is that the only sibling that was for Obama owns a small business and is not invited to the family times because her boy friend is African-American. He also works in the private sector and was a strong Obama supporter. They had Thanksgiving at his folks house in the newly minted blue state of Virginia. So, here's the scorecard, all the folks who get paid with benefits from the government are working Republicans, and the working private sector group, are Obama Democrats. They all gave me shit, right up to the election and I haven't seen them since.

I work on Thanksgiving, they all have it off with pay, yet vote against themselves. I entered the house at around 4:30 PM. The first words out of my host's mouth were, "We'll have no politics or arguing today". I said "sure, have a nice Thanksgiving, I'll see you later" and left. Now my wife has to bring me a plate from her sister's house. At least they're all Democrats.

[madaboutharry]

1. I'm sorry.

At least your wife will bring you dinner. I hope you find a way to enjoy the holiday.

[louis c]

4. I enjoyed the holiday

They were all afraid I would rub it in. They won't get over this election for years. All they have to do is just see me smile and it will tick them off.

I love this country and it's great to be alive in this time.

[Unbowed]

65. I did. Especially when I got home and came here.

It's good to get a fresh breath of sanity (relative sanity).

[auntsue]

2. Hmmmm you said

you didn't want to talk politics yet were offened when your host said We'll have no political talk. I like to debate too and I'm glad "we" won. But on a holiday I think we could ALL just let it go. They know how you think and you know how they think so for one day we can all talk about something else - ya think ????

[louis c]

6. My mom was there for 3 hours before I arrived

and all they did was talk politics, about how awful it will be under Obama.

Next, to be told what you can and can't say before you even get into a host's door can make you feel a tad uncomfortable, don't you think? It's his house and his rules, however, it's my life and I can choose to walk away, politely, wouldn't you say?

[Dorian Gray]

38. Of course you can walk away

but it's family. Sucks that they spoke in front of your mom about politics for three hours, but how could you have known that when you left?

Regardless, hope your wife brings something good home for you. I'm stuffed. ::Burp!::

[orleans]

63. so it's ok for them to talk politics but not you?

they had a bitch session for a couple hours and then put their collective foot down when you show up? what a bunch of fucking hypocrites.

i feel sorry for your poor mother.

[geckosfeet]

26. I would'a left too. But I would'a left out the "have a nice thanksgiving" part.

[malaise]

34. As he should be

You don't censure your guests. They can censure themselves if they choose. It's bad manners period.

[Doremus]

66. Where I come from, you greet a guest before pre-emptively scolding them.

:eyes:

I'd have left too, and probably not as politely.

Obviously the OP was unwelcome in that house. Instead of a friendly greeting when he entered, he was given a figural kick in the teeth. You may enjoy being insulted when you go visiting but most of us are able to detect when we aren't wanted.

[143tbone]

3. Man, you did the right thing, walking out. Especially if these were

the relatives that will not invite the African-American boyfriend. No way in hell would I even have anything to do with relatives that pulled this kind of shit. I mean really. People like that need to be ostracized. What the hell is going on down South. I thought this crap was over a long time ago. Are these educated people?

[louis c]

7. We're talking Boston, not the South

[zorahopkins]

11. Is That South Boston?

I assume, then, that it was South Boston.

[louis c]

13. Actually, North of Boston

[JeanGrey]

61. LOL! I love it when people automatically say "is this down

south?" They don't realize how bigoted that is in itself.

[Hosnon]

71. No kidding. Only the South has racists.

Obviously...:eyes:

[DeschutesRiver]

41. I second your post

In fact, I ended up having to cut communications with numerous relatives who think bitching about race and acting negative is normal. Maybe for them, but there is no point for me to have to keep hearing and cutting through the racist crap in order to pull some good nuggets out of these relationships. Done the same with some people with which I formerly did business; and ended a hobby that involved being with people who couldn't separate their racial bias from enjoying the hobby. Not everyone there was like that, but it doesn't take more than a group of two or three sharing their idiot views to tank any fun to be had. Some were uneducated; others were educated but not very well; most of them had a healthy amount of wealth.

I have come to the point where I won't even argue the racist point with these freaks. I just ostracize them by eliminating any future contact. And I am doubly on the lookout now for that - esp. with people I do business with, or buy products or services for my daily needs from. The economy is in the shitter, and my bucks won't go to support people who are mentally unstable about the race issue - it consumes some of them, and it is beyond a "point of view" deal.

It is a backward looking, negative thinking kind of lifestyle which has no place in my universe. Life is way too short to have to pretend everything is okay with relatives/friends/business people spouting racist or negative crap in front of me.

[Ex Lurker]

51. way to go jumping to conclusions

"Down South," indeed.

[Journeyman]

57. For a lighthearted rebuke, here's Randy Newman's "Rednecks" to educate you. . .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-W8WmkHPpZ4

[zorahopkins]

5. I'm Confused Here

Maybe I'm not reading your post correctly, but it looks as though you left because your host said there was to be no discussion of politics or arguing.

Did you leave because you wanted to talk politics or because you wanted to argue?

By the way, if you are so angry, why would you want to eat the food of the people you think were so ungracious to you?

I'm confused.

[louis c]

10. We have always talked politics at gatherings, for years

There was no "no politics" rule on 2000 or 2004, just this time. I left because I felt uncomfortable. They were there for 4 hours but told me this in front of everyone. I felt uncomfortable, and left. I never said I felt insulted. Uncomfortable. You see, politics was all right when they all agreed, but when I arrived, they're bigoted nonsense would be confronted. If they said nothing, I would have done the same. However, I will not let ignorant, bigoted statements ever go unchallenged in my presence, and they know it.

[OffWithTheirHeads]

68. I agree

I've disowned my entire family because they are all bigoted, racist, Bible thumping ( they thump the parts that they like and apparently have entirely eliminated the book of Matthew)assholes. I want nothing to do with any of them and my life is better because I have eliminated them from it.

[louis c]

35. Check this out

If you were a Repuke bigot, how would you like to spend this Thanksgiving with me? How do you like who I pal around with?

Link:
http://myrevere.net/default.asp?sourceid=&smenu=220&twindow=Default&mad=No&sdetail=4662&wpage=1&skeyword=&sidate=&ccat=&ccatm=&restate=&restatus=&reoption=&retype=&repmin=&repmax=&rebed=&rebath=&subname=&pform=&sc=1359&hn=myrevere&he=.net

[Dis Pater]

8. Isn't it time that we all came together?

Aren't we one America?

[MadMaddie]

45. In a perfect world yes we are one America.

But in racist bigotted Americans minds minorities are still 2nd class. It's amazing that the Neocons will not even consider the fact that the countries economy is tanking because of * and his cronies. These people are the "Good Germans"!! They will never accept their own responsibility for allowing these things to happen.

[Dis Pater]

47. There is no Black America or White America..

... or Latino America or Asian America, there is just the United States of America."

- Obama (Keynote address at Democratic National Convention '04)

[MadMaddie]

48. You are preaching to the choir here.

I agree with Barack and I agree with you.

Welcome to DU!

[Warpy]

9. They are determined to go out of their way to be assholes

and either you risk ulcers by swallowing your resentment along with dinner or you leave.

Maybe someday they'll decide to rejoin the human race. I hope for your sake that they do.

Next time, have Thanksgiving at your house and invite all the Democrats.

[louis c]

12. You're right, I just said that to my wife

I guess I have more in common with my in-laws

[undeterred]

14. They meant there'll be no politics from YOU today.

I know exactly what you mean.

[tpsbmam]

15. I wouldn't go until the boyfriend was welcomed into the family gatherings.....

just on principle. My take would be when he's welcomed here, I'll be glad to attend. As long as you're going to exclude them, I can't tacitly support your bigotry (or a more diplomatic word).

[TahitiNut]

17. I agree.

The "boyfriend" (presumably a private taxpayer) is paying their salaries/wages, too.

[Jokerman]

40. Damn Right!

"Bigotry" is more diplomatic than I would be.

[zorahopkins]

16. Next Time, Do This

Next time, do this --

Invite all your relatives to your place.

Be sure to invite the African-American boyfriend, and tell him to bring along lots and lots of his friends.

Have several big "We Love Obama" posters throughout your house.

Make jokes about how stupid Republicans are.

Tell them if they don't like it, they can leave -- and have them leave BEFORE you serve any food or beer to them.

[TrogL]

18. I misread this as "Didn't eat my relatives"

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

19. Not eating one's relatives...

Is always a nice touch on Thanksgiving. Shows a certain sensitivity and respect to a solemn, yet festive occasion, wouldn't you say?

Besides, if they struggle while you try to run them onto a spit, it can do quite a bit of damage to a home decorated for the holidays, no?

[undeterred]

20. Even cannibals don't like the taste of Republicans.

:evilgrin:

[EFerrari]

44. I misread that as even cannibals don't like the taste of relatives.

:rofl:

[undeterred]

49. Well, that's probably true too.

The last taboo: having your relatives for Thanksgiving dinner. :evilgrin:

[Cessna Invesco Palin]

23. So did I. n/t

[PearliePoo2]

21. They had already decided on their "game plan" for dealing with you.

As you said, they were already bitching for 3 hours before your arrival.
They didn't want to take a chance and let you get into gloat-mode, so they made a preemptive strike and nailed you at the door.
Did you intend to bring up politics that evening anyway or just quietly smile if the subject was broached?
It was very rude of them....period.
They were finding you guilty before a trial...before they even knew what your behavior was going to be.
You did the right thing by leaving and they probably never expected it. You denied them their little mind games. Right on.
They are racist, bitter, no-nothing, bigots.
Surround yourself with happy progressive Democrats from now on and enjoy yourself.
Don't hesitate if asked, to tell these creeps why you no longer wish to be associated with people that are hateful Debbie-Downers. :)

[wellstone dem]

22. We talked politics the whole time

we talked about how hard it was to get an Obama sign
what we did when our Obama signs were stolen
what we were doing when they called the election
and how we hope Al Franken wins the recount.

(My Democratic parents know how to throw a post election thanksgiving!) :fistbump:

[Joanne98]

24. Hypocrites!

[JI7]

25. why didn't you go with your wife to her family's home ?

i don't blame you for not spending time with your family. it's one thing to disagree but another when they go as far as not invite other family because of racism.

today should be a day you enjoy and that means spending time with whoever you are happy with or in some cases even being a lone is better. thanksgiving is not like a wedding where you go mostly for the other person and put up with people you don't like.

but why didn't you just go with your wife and spend thanksgiving with her family ?

[louis c]

28. That's my elderly mom's side of the family

I work from 10:00 AM to 4:00 PM every Thanksgiving. I'm the President of my union at a racetrack in Boston. If my members are working on Thanksgiving, so am I. My wife brings my mom to our relatives around Noon. My wife stays until about 2:00, where she goes to her sister's house. I arrive at my famaly's gathering at about 4:30, stay about an hour and a half and bring my mom home. I also have my wife bring a nice bottle of home made wine before I get there. Seems all proper, I think, except I'm too Liberal, I guess.

[yodoobo]

27. Sounds like their plan worked

From what I gather, they just wanted to have a Thanksgiving meal in peace, without all the turmoil of discussing politics.

Believe me, I know I've been there. I have the same problem with arguing politics with my family.

For me, I value being with my parents and family, over voicing my insignificant opinions over the election (and hearing their insiginificant opinons as well). So I shutup about politics during Thanksgiving and Christmas get togethers.

I'm sorry that you missed out on thanksgiving, but it does sound like both sides won.

[louis c]

29. I wish you got it

They don't mind opinions, as long as you agree with them.

If they were peaceful, their sister would be there with her African-American boyfriend. That's what family really means. I spend time with both sides, the bigots and the victims of the bigotry, since they are all family. But I will not tolerate bigoted comments in my presence without challenging them. Now, what do you think Republican bigots (who do not accept a sibling's boyfriend of African-American decent) might discuss this particular Thanksgiving? You think Barack's name might have come up? Guess who they didn't want to have to confront?

[yodoobo]

30. Oh I know the type. I really get it

If this didn't happen in Boston, I would wonder if we were from the same family. Looking over my message, I came across harsh which wasn't really my intent.

Personally, I find the holidays the most stressful time of the year.

Its just a strange choice at times. Put up with their shit? Or enjoy their company?

[20score]

31. K&R.

[DailyGrind51]

32. Consider yourself lucky! My cousin's husband is one of those "Obama is the Anti-Christ" idiots!

And, I stayed home today to avoid creating a scene at their place.

[louis c]

33. I guess you have me beat. My cousins are just assholes (NT)

[Unbowed]

36. My sympathies. At least you were smart enough to leave. I wasn't.

In my family, it did break out into words. I left angry. I'm still angry. And they can all go fuck themselves. Happy Thanksgiving

[louis c]

37. Here's a little more

Here's a news story last year. The AFL-CIO President made a nationwide pitch on Labor Day this year to fight bigotry in the ranks of blue collar workers. I'm explaining my union position to Gov. Patrick. these are the folks I pal around with.



Link:
http://myrevere.net/default.asp?sourceid=&smenu=220&twindow=Default&mad=No&sdetail=4662&wpage=1&skeyword=&sidate=&ccat=&ccatm=&restate=&restatus=&reoption=&retype=&repmin=&repmax=&rebed=&rebath=&subname=&pform=&sc=1359&hn=myrevere&he=.net



My wife may make some Repuke bigots uncomfortable, too.

Link:
http://www.boston.com/lifestyle/specials/bill_brett/nov08seen2?pg=19

[Morning Dew]

56. You make a handsome couple, louis c.

Good for you on the Holiday walkout.

[JeanGrey]

62. Excuse me but I am missing something - why would your

wife make anyone uncomfortable? She is absolutely gorgeous! (and you are too)

[louis c]

75. This is the same cousins who won't invite their sibling's black boyfriend

Maybe my wife's Asian heritage may bother them a bit. She's an immigrant Filipino. They are Republican's, anti-immigrant (although they say they differentiate between legal and illegal). They sound like Rush limbaugh when they talk politics. On top of that, I am a high profile Union, Liberal Democrat, who will absolutely not let an ignorant or bigoted statement go unchallenged. This is our first encounter since Obama won the nomination and the General election.

Get the picture?

[JeanGrey]

77. Yes but have they said anything about your wife in the past?

I couldn't tell by looking at her pic that she was Asian. Have they not been aware that you were married to her until now?

[louis c]

78. They are aware, but they seem to have opinions on immigrants that are RW

Until now, I never suspected a bias against us, except for my politics. But their anti-immigrant strain does make me wonder.

now the only two that are not welcome to these gatherings are my cousin with a black boyfriend and me, with an Asian wife. It does make one wonder. Right wing politics is a curios mix. A blue collar worker who votes Republican has to do so for other than economic reasons, and bigotry cannot be ruled out.

[AndrewP]

39. Sorry man

That would be tough. I'm lucky in that my immediate family are all hardcore Democrats. I would have a very hard time being lectured by right wingers.

[AllieB]

42. I've always been stunned by the blue collar bigotry in the Boston area.

Granted, I've seen plenty of 'Building Trades for Obama' stickers and other pro-Dem blue-collar stickers in MA, but I think Right-wing radio has done a job on the collective minds of the working class. At my husband's company, the CEO (who is a multi-millionaire) and many of the executives are Democrats, and the secretaries and facilities guys are Republicans. What's wrong with this picture? I think a lot of the bigotry is dying out in the younger generation thankfully.

[EFerrari]

43. Good for you, louis c. Life is too short to spend a night with people like that.

You'd have to spend the rest of the night in the shower anyway.

lol

[JeanGrey]

46. I understand that you don't share politics with your family.

But I don't see anything wrong with "no politics and arguing". I say something similar to my children all the time, because two of them like to drink and they have a tendency to get mouthy and ugly and want to fight. So now I tell them "there will be no drinking or don't come in". It is only to keep the peace.

Why did you get mad and leave? Wouldn't it be better to catch more flies with honey than vinegar?

[EFerrari]

50. It sounds like it was only "no politics" if it wasn't their politics.

Those people don't want sugar, they want willing victims.

[Ex Lurker]

53. I think that's right

the best policy is "no politics," at family gatherings but the OP shouldn't be obligated to hold his or her tongue while others speak freely.

[JeanGrey]

59. I agree but it didn't sound that way. But, I don't know them

and he does!

[JeanGrey]

58. Well that is totally different, of course. But it sounded like

they wanted to not discuss politics to keep the peace.

[louis c]

76. BINGO

[louis c]

55. However, the remark was only said to me as I arrived

Politics was always fine until this Thanksgiving which conveniently occurred 3 weeks after the first Democratic victory in 11 years.

[JeanGrey]

60. Well obviously! I am sure they are well aware of your views

and who you support. Maybe they just wanted to avoid any arguing between all of you and to have a peaceful holiday. OTOH, as I said upthread, I don't know them and you do.

[Leftist Agitator]

64. You're lucky that I'm not one of your kids.

You'd never see me.

[Ex Lurker]

52. The only thing I would have done differently

was to have said "I had no intention of talking politics, but I won't be dictated to," and then left. I'm thankful that this isn't a problem in my family. We all have a variety of political views, but we check our differences at the door.

[JimboBillyBubbaBob]

54. Louis C!

Man, you're cool, it's over, don't sweat it. Fuck 'em..........

[charlie]

67. Lol. I hear you, man

I fed in-laws in my house and had to hear about Palin's admirable gumption, among other things. I wasn't going to make my wife miserable on Thanksgiving, so SHADDUP CHARLIE was my internalized mantra for the day.

Actually, it was probably good for my digestion, since every bite I took was chewed into molecular paste.

[demodonkey]

69. You did the right thing! nt

[Pluvious]

70. My TG with the Freeper In-laws

Wow, that's quite a response - I've often wondered how I'd deal with
the same situation if it came up... We all have our breaking points,
sounds like you hit your's.

I've come to believe that trying to talk these Super-Freeps out of
their way of thinking is like attempting to talk someone out of
loving the taste of chocolate. It's not gonna happen...

---

From my other post from another thread:

My BIL and his wife are in that top 5% that worship his Shrubness.
The BIL an intelligent educated professional.

He believes Dubya is this country's "third greatest president in all our history"

I try very hard to avoid political discussions, as when I speak, my words to
their ears are like I'm speaking Swahili, and their eyes just glaze over until
they find the spot to interrupt (I'm never allowed to finish a comment).

They thot Palin was a great public speaker.

After one of the RW'r friends told them even he didn't believe BO was
a Muslim, then they said he's a Marxist. (and there's no way the SIL, who
was so shrilly insisting this point, even knows wtf a Marxist is ffs)

The SIL's capper comment: "Obama speaks too flowerly"

My lip still hurts.

[RedCappedBandit]

72. Not invited cause her boyfriend is african american?

Fuck it, who the hell would want to spend time with such people anyway?

[Blue Gardener]

73. Me either

Ever since my nephew's wife called me and my sister "immoral baby-killers" because we supported Obama. She does not want us to be around her 8-month old daughter because she is a baby and "we don't care about babies." So, I cooked a meal for me and the boyfriend and had a nice, quiet Thanksgiving at home.

[pacalo]

74. Good for you, louis!

When the host said, "We'll have no politics or arguing today" the host was actually telling you, "You'll have to keep your mouth shut when we say what we think."

After all, "they all gave me shit, right up to the election and I haven't seen them since."

[xenu loves you]

79. You missed one hell of an opportunity there...

You could have shown up with a tee shirt bearing Obama's face, donned a few buttons, and looked like you'd just won the lottery. I would have rubbed it in their faces if they gave you so much crap before about the subject.

[louis c]

80. I'm really a high profile Democrat in my home town

especially concerning Labor.

All I have to do to get under people's skin is wear a smile. They all know what I'm thinking.

[JustAnotherGen]

81. I read this stuff and I thank the Universe

That the only arguments in my entire family are between Corporate Dems, Liberals, and Democratic Socialists . . .

I.E. "I'm more liberal than you are. Nyah! Nyah!"

Come back to Rochester NY with me next year. You'll have a blast, and my mom is a fantastic cook! :rotfl: But you better have a clearly defined argument as to why you are the most liberal of the liberals at the old homestead! :rofl:

My mom always pulls her nuclear option, "Well! Even though I married a soldier! I protested the Vietnam War!" :rofl: Which leads to the stories about her painting the rec room at the Weisbaden tower (military housing) with a paisley psychedelic print - and my dad chuckling and saying "Hey! I couldn't protest it - so you did it for me!" :rofl:

Sorry they suck buddy! :pals: