Great bailout joke

[proud2BlibKansan]

Young Chuck moved to Texas and bought a donkey from a
farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey
the next day.

The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I
have some bad news, the donkey died.

Chuck replied, 'Well, then just give me my money
back.'

The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I went and spent
it already.'

Chuck said, 'Ok, then, just bring me the dead
donkey.'

The farmer asked, 'What ya gonna do with him?'

Chuck said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.'

The farmer said, 'You can't raffle off a
dead donkey!'

Chuck said, 'Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't
tell anybody he's dead.'

A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck
and asked, 'What happened with that dead donkey?'

Chuck said, 'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at
two dollars a piece and made a profit of $998.'

The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?'

Chuck said, 'Just the guy who won. So I gave him his
two dollars back.'

Chuck now works for Goldman Sachs.

[TahitiNut]

1. Chuck better hire an accountant. His profit is $898, not $998.

:silly: :dunce: Yes, Virginia, once an auditor always an auditor. It's a curse. :rofl:

[unblock]

4. beat me to it.

of course, once chuck started working at goldman he learned that he should not have realized a taxable profit like that.

he should have found a way to have turned the $898 into an expense and had the profit instead realized by some other entity in a lower tax jurisdiction....

[proud2BlibKansan]

7. Yeah I caught that too

Thought it added to the joke. :rofl:

[bvar22]

8. No,

He wrote off the first hundred as a Business Expense, and then claimed it as a a Capital Loss.
Then he asked Congress for a Bailout and made another Thousand.
After that, he went looking for Dead Donkeys.

[SpiralHawk]

13. Republiconomics

Ptoooey

[unblock]

2. rofl!

minor nit, the profit was "only" $898.

[Skink]

3. The second guy then repackaged the donkey into derivitives .

[unblock]

5. ironically, the term "tranche", used to describe the pieces of cmo's,

was derived from the french term for butchered animal parts.

(sirlion, chuck, filet mignon, etc., are "tranches" of a cow).

[tbyg52]

9. This is why I read DU! Who knew?

(Well, obviously you did, and now I do as well....!) :hi:

[Scriptor Ignotus]

6. what an ass - nt

[bain_sidhe]

10. This is perfect!

Is it yours? If not, where'd you get it? I would like to send it around to my email list, and I want to give proper credit.

[judasdisney]

11. the choice of a "dead DONKEY" is apropos

[judasdisney]

12. On second thought, is "Chuck" code for Schumer? That makes sense, too