Churches: Chocolate Jesus is 'tasteless'

[Mark E. Smith]

Germany churches, Protestant and Catholic, criticize
Berlin chocolatier

BERLIN - Germany's churches criticized a businessman
Tuesday for selling thousands of Jesus chocolates.

Frank Oynhausen set up his "Sweet Lord" chocolate
Jesus-making business saying he wanted to restore
some traditional religious values to Christmas in
Germany.

But the German Protestant Church criticized the idea
as "tasteless" and the Roman Catholic Church was
not amused.

"I started thinking about how I could reintroduce
traditional religious values into this commercial
world," said Oynhausen, who had been unemployed
since losing a recycling business two years ago.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27911774

Well, it would certainly help to get kids to go to
Communion more often.

[gollygee]

1. Oh. I would think it would taste like chocolate.

LOL

That is a hilarious idea. Like an easter bunny kind of.

[TahitiNut]

51. Any self-respecting Christ would transubstantiate into chocolate instead of gluten.

O8)

[yurbud]

2. This is a story for Comedy Central's CHOCOLATE NEWS: Germans admit Jesus is black

[Akoto]

3. Chocolate Jesus ... haz gud flavur. n/t

[kenny blankenship]

15. Still haz cherry center

[patrice]

4. Might as well show those "Chri$$$$$$$tian" value$$$$$$$$$$ for what they are AND have a Laugh!!

So that should be "Chocolate Je$u$".

[aikoaiko]

5. My Catholic parents gave me solid chocolate crosses for Easter after I was too old for bunnies

It was weird for me because I was like, "So this is what we nailed Jesus to with spikes, mmm, chocolate".

[ebdarcy]

18. Yeah, I don't get how chocolate Jesi (?) are any worse than chocolate crosses at Easter.

I never knew chocolate crosses existed until I saw them a couple years ago in a store. They're hilariously bizarre.

[msongs]

6. meanwhile people at these churches eat "the body" of christ & "drink" his blood lolololol nt

[MindPilot]

7. The ritual cannibalism catholics practice evey Sunday is fine

but the chocolate figure is "tasteless".

Got it. :banghead:

[Name removed]

13. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[MindPilot]

19. A good solid Catholic education.

St James Elementary School, and Machebeuf High School, both in Denver CO.

Good enough?

[patrice]

22. Care to quote the words from the Consecration with which you have somekind of problem?

[patrice]

16. On 2nd thought: If you'd like to demonstrate your OWN understanding of the breadth of perspectives

on Transubstantiation and THEN offer a balanced critique of application of those principles, I might read it.

If all you have is bigotted stereotypes, you are the same as those you criticize.

[MindPilot]

21. Please see post 19

So yes I thoroughly understand the concept of transubstantiation and no I'm not going to write a dissertation to prove it.

[patrice]

26. "ritual canabalism" demonstrates an extremely LIMITED understanding, so if you can't/don't want to

demonstrate otherwise, your limitations are what stand and therefore you are a bigot.

[MindPilot]

34. You support and defend the practices of the Catholic church

yet you call ME a bigot?!

How about YOU put down the alter boy, and explain to the group how "eat of my body and drink of my blood" is NOT ritual cannibalism.

[patrice]

38. Out of context, but nevermind, because you've already demonstrated that the whole does not matter

to you; there's ONLY your warped interpretation of Transubstantiation.

When someone says "I'd kill for a cigarette" do you run?

Oh, you only use absolutist semantics when it suits YOUR purpose, fuck what other people mean by what they say.

Not worth my time . . . .

End of "conversation".

[patrice]

32. Your notion of thorough is interesting and duly noted. nt

[Name removed]

24. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[patrice]

29. Some people get a buzz out of saying things like "ritual canabalism"

I consider such folk to be not that much different from Rev. Phelps and his ilk, who seem to get quite a buzz out of using their hate speech.

[MindPilot]

31. You too.

[patrice]

33. Oh honey! That IS pathetic. nt

[MindPilot]

30. Welcome to my ignore list

[Jackpine Radical]

8. Oh, I don't care if it rains or freezes,

'Long's I got that choc'lit Jesus
Meltin' on the dashboard of my car.

I don't care if it's dark or scary
Long as I have mint-flavored Mary
Ridin' on the dashboard of my car
I feel I'm protected amply
I've got the whole damn holy family
Riding on the dashboard of my car

[Fumesucker]

20. LOL.. I remember that song..

They don't make Jews like Jesus any more, eh?

[pitohui]

49. oh that's cute! i love your reworking!

also i wish i saw your post before i left mine, makes mine redundant somehow :-)

[Jackpine Radical]

52. If I had a dime for every time I posted the same idea someone else did,

long after they did, without noticing that they did, and on the same thread that they did, because I was so hot to get my idea into the limelight, I wouldn't probly be rich, but I'd at least be able to afford a pretty good supply of chocolate Jesae.

[Le Taz Hot]

54. LOL!

You beat me to it! Classic Tom Waitts.

[Jackpine Radical]

57. Slightly rewritten for this occasion.

[Junkdrawer]

9. Order here:

http://www.goldjesus.com/product.html

[MineralMan]

10. Nothing New Here

These folks have been making chocolate Jesuses for a long time. They have other chocolate goodies, like crucifixes, Maries, and much more.

Sacrilege lives on!

http://www.chocolatefantasies.com/religious.htm

[Tinksrival]

47. Chocolate is sacrilegious!

Lots where that came from!



.... ...

After all that chocolate you need your Crucifix-o-lounger! Recline for Jesus!

[lapfog_1]

11. What will they think of next?

Oh wait, they already did!!!

[TexasObserver]

12. Churches calling anything tasteless. That's rich.

Jesus made of ceremic, metal, wood, plastic - that's all just fine. But let someone make Jesus edible.

[AnnieBW]

14. Just watch out for the Peanut Butter Ganesha

Put them together, and you've got a holy peanut butter cup!

[EOTE]

55. You got Jesus in my Ganesha...

You got Ganesha in my Jesus!

[rAVES]

17. Don't go to church on Sunday!

Don't get on my knees to pray
Don't memorize the books of the Bible
I got my own special way
Bit I know Jesus loves me
Maybe just a little bit more

I fall on my knees every Sunday
At Zerelda Lee's candy store

Well it's got to be a chocolate Jesus
Make me feel good inside
Got to be a chocolate Jesus
Keep me satisfied

Well I don't want no Anna Zabba
Don't want no Almond Joy
There ain't nothing better
Suitable for this boy
Well it's the only thing
That can pick me up
Better than a cup of gold
See only a chocolate Jesus
Can satisfy my soul

(Solo)
When the weather gets rough
And it's whiskey in the shade
It's best to wrap your savior
Up in cellophane
He flows like the big muddy
But that's ok
Pour him over ice cream
For a nice parfait

Well it's got to be a chocolate Jesus
Good enough for me
Got to be a chocolate Jesus
Good enough for me

Well it's got to be a chocolate Jesus
Make me feel good inside
Got to be a chocolate Jesus
Keep me satisfied


:D

[codjh9]

23. Au contraire - I bet it DOES have taste! It's choclit, ain't it? :^)

[laconicsax]

25. Silly chocolatier. Jesus isn't a chocoloate abomination--He's a cracker and some wine.

[JVS]

27. That's as distasteful as a mohammed cartoon.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

35. But the chocolate Jesus implies sweetness and goodness

whereas the cartoons depicted the Prophet, and by extrapolation, every Muslim, as being murderers.

[JVS]

36. You bring a chocolate jesus to my house and you have 10 seconds to get the fuck out or it goes....

where the sun don't shine. We don't tolerate blasphemy in my house.

I am offended and I don't care for your rationalization.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

43. If you consider it rationaliation, I apologize

Do you feel the blasphemy is directed at all Christians? If not, okay--but saying that the Mohammed cartoons were similar is then not logical, because it wasn't. If so, what statement is it making about all Christians?

[NYC Liberal]

53. So you're offended by a chocolate Jesus, presumably because it'd be eaten

But you say you'd shove a likeness of Jesus up someone's ass?

Okie doke then :eyes:

[sutz12]

28. Awwwww....somebody needs a hug.

"Only a couple more weeks' worth of Christmas shopping left and you still don't know what to get for that loved one who already owns everything on God's planet? Click on over to HuggyJesus.com and order up a little something he or she probably won't want and likely will re-gift."


Sorry, but HuggyJesus.com seems to be out of service now. :shrug:

[road2000]

37. Wish I knew the history on this...

but growing up in my small town in the 50s/60s, we called those Yoo Hoo drinks chocolate Jesuses.

[Berry Cool]

39. And to think they crucified him

when his only crime was being delicious.

[SoCalDem]

40. Hersheys provided the chocolate?

:rofl:

[Owl]

41. It's supposed to taste like bread and wine?

:shrug:

[backscatter712]

42. Mmmmm, sweet blasphemy! *drool* n/t

[Irishonly]

44. A few years ago the fundies were screaming about chocolate crosses

Now they buy them in droves. The guy needs to sell them in the states although it may be better to have a manger.}(

[Sabriel]

45. They're right, of course

They should be endorsing Fair Trade Chocolate Jesus instead.

(When He comes in a nougat-filled version, watch out!)

[HarveyDarkey]

46. Remember this sculpture from a couple of years ago?

This 6-foot sculpture of Christ, currently being exhibited in a hotel in New York City, has angered Catholic campaigners in the city. The problem, it seems, is that the artist, the Canadian-born Cosimo Cavallaro created the sculpture from milk chocolate.

Cavallaro is well known for his imaginative work with food as art. His previous efforts include "repainting a Manhattan hotel room in melted mozzarella, spraying 5 tons of pepper jack cheese on a Wyoming home and festooning a four-poster bed with 312 pounds of processed ham." He hopes that visitors to the gallery space in the hotel will not only view the Christ but also take the opportunity to interact with the sculpture -- to lick it. Cavallaro maintains he's not being disrespectful; he wants to explore something deeply spiritual in permitting the visitor to touch and taste the sweetness of the figure he has represented. After all, he says, Christians receive the "body and blood" of Christ as food in the act of holy communion.

What do you think? Does this look like a sacrilegious exhibition or a beautiful sculture provoking profound questions?

[pitohui]

48. i don't care if it rains or freezes long as i gots my plastic jesus

why is plastic ok, but not chocolate? i think it's a cute idea

[Buck Laser]

50. Tom Waits has a song about that..."Got to have my Chocolate Jesus."

[AnnieBW]

56. It's Sacralicious!

Of course, there's probably a huge discussion as to whether Jesus is dark or milk chocolate...

[Jackpine Radical]

58. Somebody had to do it:

[Forkboy]

59. I'm holding out for the Nougat Noah.