American cultural curiosity rarely seen in Germany: offers to go ahead in line

[lebkuchen]

Is that custom unique to small town America, where I am right now?

Whenever I'm in line in this Arizona town, one or two customer will offer to let me go ahead of them, usually because I have fewer items in my cart. That almost never happens in Germany, where customers tend to be very territorial and will more than likely cut you in line than offer to let you go first.

Today I was at the post office with two large boxes, and an octagenarian woman who only wanted to buy stamps offered to let me go ahead. I declined since she would have had to wait much longer for me than I would have for her. I guess she figured the boxes were cumbersome, but still, it was so polite of her to make that offer since she was rather frail looking.

Americans also say "excuse me" a lot. Unless you've actually made body contact with a German, and sometimes not even then, you don't hear apologies.

The Walmart crowd crush and shop-shootings seem incongruous to the otherwise very polite shopping behavior unique, in my travel experiences, to Americans.

[Sanctified]

1. I think it's pretty common.

I usually let people go ahead of me especially mothers with children. I have kids and I know how hard it is to keep them occupied while waiting in line so I prefer to let the moms go ahead to give them a little relief.

[IndyOp]

2. Thank you for adding a bit of balanced commentary to the mix...

We should take a bit more time to be appreciative of all of the things that go right in human interactions.

:hi:

[glowing]

3. Black Friday's bring out the worst of people. I really don't know anyone who

shops on that day. Everyone likes to get a good deal... but I tend to be skeptical of any electronics being sold at slashed prices.. They only put out a few and they're probably one's that don't work well or are have defects that will make the item obsolete in a year.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

8. It's a scam, for sure

They'll advertise $400 laptops, but they don't mention that they only have 3 on hand.

Then they start stirring up the frenzy in the shoppers, with the before-dawn openings, making it seem desperate and anxiety-producing and if you don't go there, you're missing out on something you'll never ever ever ever have a chance of buying at such a reduced price.

And people fall for it. Over and over, they fall for it.

More often than not, it seems like these shoppers are lower-income folks, who honestly believe they're going to get some kind of actual deal.

Then they put their unnecessary purchases on a credit card, because, in truth, they can't afford these purchases, and they'll never figure out how the finance charges on the credit card eat up whatever "deal" they think they got from the seller.

It's mass hysteria. That's all it is, and it's tragic.

[RandomThoughts]

4. I think it is conditioning

For years people have seen pictures of people running into stores the day after thanksgiving.

It probably started with one store with a great sale covered on the news years ago.

Then over the years, everyone learned that you are suppose to run in to shop on that day.

So now everyone does what they were trained to do.

Just a guess though.

I mean seriously, every store probably has enough stuff, and gives rainchecks if they run out.

[Ian David]

6. Deffinitely conditioning.

[sandnsea]

7. No, they don't, it's the gimmick

They really do only have a few of highly sought after items. It's an artificial shortage mostly. It used to be occasionally difficult to find a sought after item, but when manufacturers found that it got on the news and created even more desire, they started limiting what they release. They don't have to, but it's how you make sure and create demand at a high price. They pretend it's "new technology" that is expensive, but it's mostly how they market these days. We're so easily duped.

[RandomThoughts]

12. Really?

If the store intentionally shorts the supply, and knows it will cause a foot race, then aren't they promoting an unlicenced sporting event without proper safety?

I mean if it is known that half the crowd will only reach the goods, then it is a reward for waiting in line, then running the fastest to the display counter.

[sandnsea]

20. They advertise "5 only"

Have you not seen that? I thought everybody knew the odds of getting one of the hot sale items was minimal. We've never shopped Thanksgiving week-end, nothing is important enough to get up at 5 am, except a baby coming into the world.

[RandomThoughts]

26. I really didn't know that.

I don't shop then either.

But back on topic, that is so wrong.

Wrong on so many levels. It is the direct use of money to control action. Save a dollar if you push and shove your way to the counter first. (assuming this is the known outcome)

It just seems wrong to me.

What is the argument for doing this type of marketing? What is the defense of this type of marketing?

[patrice]

5. Yes, but Germany has Ginger Lebkuchen!!!

:9

[Hubert Flottz]

31. And Christmas Stollen

http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Christmas-Stollen/Detail.aspx

And hundreds of other tasty goodies!

[liberalmuse]

9. I've done one Black Friday.

It was many years ago. I wanted to buy a dear friend and her family a dvd player for Christmas. I was pretty broke, but they were selling them really cheap at a local electronics store. There was a really long line but people were quite polite. After awhile, a lady came up to me and asked me if I wanted the dvd player she had because she decided not to wait any longer. That was about it. 99% of the time I don't go anywhere on Black Friday.

As for the WalMart incident, that crowd does share the blame. Each person shoving their way through that store is complicit in murder. However, I have to say most of the blame lies with WalMart for creating that atmosphere, and not having proper crowd control. I hope that man's family sues and wins millions. I've been boycotting them since '99, I think, but when I used to shop there, I was very uncomfortable at how dehumanizing the experience was because of the store's layout.

[Iterate]

10. "After you" politeness does seem to be more common,

or at least no longer rare among Germans.

I've never seen a rude crush here, but if you leave more that an arms reach free in front of you, it's considered open for a land rush. It could just be that the sense of personal space is much smaller and actual touching isn't considered cause for gunfire.

[lebkuchen]

14. I think the same is true for crowded Asian countries

The smaller the space, the more crowded the territory, the more commonplace bumping into people will be. "Why bother apologizing if such and such behavior is so commonplace" is probably the prevailing attitude. I've adapted to it and usually don't apologize, either. Such overpoliteness in Europe is the sign of an American tourist.

I do see Americans giving up their seat on public transportation a lot more than I do in Germany. Americans, at least those in small towns, are more engaged in polite conversation with strangers in public places, acknowledge each other when walking towards each other on sidewalks, and so forth.

When entering a European shop, it's considered polite to greet everyone with a "Guten tag" or "Bon jeur" etc. and when leaving with a "danke, auf wiedersehen." I like that custom, as well as the use of "herr/frau" titles. It's formal, but also "top drawer" in its respect for others, and is common throughout much of Europe.

Letting someone go first in line is more a time v. space issue. I don't think Europeans are more rushed for time than Americans--to the contrary-- which is why I think the "go ahead of me" American custom is such a unique social grace in the world perspective.

[DBoon]

11. it even happens in Los Angeles

not common, but sometimes if you only have one or 2 items, people will let you get ahead of them

[Hekate]

13. Thank you Lebkuchen; it's very sweet of you to say that.

:hi:

Hekate

[Captain Hilts]

15. I always let someone with just a couple of items go ahead of me.

Especially in Trader Joe's where there is no 15 items or fewer line.

[lebkuchen]

17. It's rare to see the "15 or fewer" line in Germany.

In fact, if there is a long line at a German checkout and another cashier opens another register, Germans will typically rush to the other counter to get there first, even if they were the last ones in the line with others ahead of them having waited longer. It's first come, first serve. The German cashier doesn't do what a lot of American cashiers will do....go up to the person in the middle of the long line and invite that person, along with those behind, to come to the newly opened registered in a civilized fashion.

[CreekDog]

28. i had friends from Germany

kept asking for their soda without ice so they could have more soda. :eyes:

once we were in a Chinese restaurant and (Americans know how this is going to end) and I ordered a soda and then they ordered a soda and proudly looked at me when they said "no ice" as if to indicate "we're smarter and getting more soda than you". :wtf:

of course, the soda was brought in the can. so there. :spank:

[Karenina]

29. Drinks in Germany are RARELY served with ice.

Water is not consumed ice cold. Bad for the stomach, ya know. I believe you mistranslated their signals.

[CreekDog]

32. nope i didn't

I know about not using ice because they told me but they told me specifically I was getting a worse deal with ice because less soda. It's stupid I even remember this.

[lebkuchen]

33. Hey Karenina! How goes it?

I hope all is well.

I'm in the last of the ice cube right now....Arizona. Glasses of water always come with ice...not used to it! Wine sure is a lot better, and cheaper, in Germany than here. Therefore, I'm abstaining during this visit, purging the body with some ice cold wasser.

[Karenina]

36. Alles in Ordnung!

Forget ice! Glühwein season is here!!! bottoms up! :hi::toast::hi:

[lebkuchen]

39. not in 80 degree weather!

but eventually, probably this month I'll make it back for a glass or two, white and red!

[alcibiades_mystery]

16. It's pretty common in URBAN America as well

I grew up in New York City, and it was pretty standard to let folks with only an item or two go ahead if you had a lot of stuff.

It has nothing to do with rural America.

[lebkuchen]

19. I wish Germans would acquire this custom

and the one I posted above, re: how America's markets handle long lines.

[pitohui]

18. i live in the south (louisiana) and offering to let others ahead in line is common

it is something i frequently do because i am a slow person but i am somewhat frequently invited to go ahead by others also if i have only one or two items

i would not call it rare or unusual in the south

it is such an engrained habit to say "sorry" or "excuse me" when i bump into someone that i am like the fabled southern lady who bumps into a desk and tells the desk "excuse me"

the word in german for "excuse me" is such a long word i can't remember it now (don't worry, i will review it again before i return, but i did hear people say it, maybe people are not so worried in germany that bumping could be mistaken for aggression so that might be a point for you

[lebkuchen]

22. LOL on the "excuse me" comment

I did hear "excuse me" or "sorry" a lot more often in Japanese shops than I have ever heard in Germany.

Also, if you ever get into a car accident in Germany, you never ever apologize or admit fault. This is taught in driving school, and it's put into practice at supermarkets re: colliding shopping carts. :)

[Aristus]

21. It makes me proud and relieved to hear non-American praise for simple courtesies

displayed by Americans.

I know we're a do-it-now, rush-rush-rush country, but I see instances every day of consideration, unselfishness and respect among total strangers. It warms my heart.

[lebkuchen]

23. Just as Quayle was no Kennedy, America is no George Bush/Dick Cheney

The world realizes this, especially Europeans, who continue to love America, which is why they can't wait to see Bush/Cheney out of office and replaced by leaders who are reasonable, conciliatory, and culturally sensitive, skills completely absent in the Bush/Cheney approach to politics, or even the most basic social circumstance.

[hedgehog]

24. If you really want to see line etiquette in action, try flying in different countries.

Non-Americans can't seem to get their hands around the idea that we'll all get seated faster if the plane is filled back to front.

[lebkuchen]

25. not to mention the safety issue of staying in one's seat w/seatbelt fastened

while the plane is taxi-ing. In Asian countries, especially Korea, Taiwan, and Japan, it was commonplace when I lived there to have passengers rush to get to their overhead luggage as soon as the plane touched ground and taxied to the gate, despite the flight attendants' pleas to remain seated and buckled up.

That need to get ahead of everyone else while getting off the plane, jeopardizing everyone's safety in the process, is an overwhelming urge in Asia.

[CreekDog]

27. Why do Germans get this bad reputation for being territorial?

:hide:

[lebkuchen]

34. Yeah, and it seems to be behavior exclusive to Germans

I used to see signs on Italian ski slopes that read, only in German, "Don't take cuts in the line."

[CreekDog]

37. I was being silly

:hi:

not serious. :shrug:

[lebkuchen]

38. I know,

but still, when you look at history...

[CreekDog]

40. you can't just go by 1 war

or 2...

or Barbarians...

:evilgrin:

[Karenina]

30. That almost never happens in Germany...

MENSCH! DOCH!

But little old ladies with shopping carts do have a propensity to ram them into your back. :rofl:

[lebkuchen]

35. with no apology

It's just the way it is! :)