My first (and unforgettable) trip to WalMart.

[TomInTib]

SweetHeart and I have spent the last two weeks near Cabo San Lucas, Baja, Mexico.

We had a suite with a full kitchen and wanted to stock up on food and alcohol (she always insists on eating, while I am more than happy to drink my meals). So one of our friends offered to drive us to WalMart.

Friend knows of my utter contempt (OK, hatred) of all things WalMart, but convinced me that it was the easiest option. Then he convinced me to get as loaded as possible before going.

So, fortified by much Bombay Sapphire gin, several shots of Chinaco Anejo and some of Humboldt's Finest, away we went.

Got to the place, a sprawling outdoor mall anchored by a HUGE WalMart store.

Walked in and I was blown away. I honestly could not believe my eyes. Or my ears.

Playing on the PA was this loud, bombastic, quasi-symphonic Christmas music. I was transfixed. I have never heard music like that in my life. Mere words can't begin to convey what being in that crazy place with all those Mexicans and cheap-ass ex-pats, humming (in some cases, singing) along with that God-awful music(?) was like.

I was eating chopped-up nopalitos out of the bag, raw.

At least no one got trampled.

[AlCzervik]

1. i went to a Wal-mart once in Tomball Texas, it took me about a year to recover.

[TomInTib]

17. I used to live in Tomball

742 James Street

[Aristus]

33. I used to live in Spring.

Never visited a Wal-Mart there. What was it like?

[TomInTib]

37. I used to live in Spring, as well.

Enchanted Oaks, right behind the blimp base.

[Aristus]

39. I lived in Northampton. We used to go over to the blimp base all the time

to see the Goodyear Blimp arrive.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

2. I went to a WalMart in Virginia once

The smell of cheap plastic, the acres of junk food, the people writing checks because they didn't have credit cards or cash - it all just sort of clung to me and still gives me the creeps.

That smell.

[panader0]

3. Damn! I'm all out of Humboldt.

I always burn the best shit first. How was the surf?

[TomInTib]

18. Maybe I can help

But don't tell anyone

[proud2BlibKansan]

4. Were there kids running wild?

Every time I go to WalMart, I see more unsupervised kids than I have ever seen anywhere in my life. Running wild, knocking over shoppers, high on something in the air at WM. :)

[TomInTib]

21. There were no kids

Funny, I had not even considered that.
Mexicans keep much closer herd on the kids than do Americans.

[proud2BlibKansan]

28. Count your blessings

Get run over by munchkins can really ruin the WalMart experience.

[TomInTib]

31. Thank the fuck Heavens' it's not 40 years ago

I was running around with Stanley Owsley's neice.

We did acid every day of 1968.

Every day.

"Get run over by munchkins can really ruin the WalMart experience."

I'll bet.

Tom

[Starry Messenger]

5. I've only been once, I think.

We were in Hawaii and wanted sneakers for a hike. My father had control of the transportation so my protests were in vain. Being in a Walmart in Hawaii is very depressing.

[yodoobo]

6. Did you bring a cart in from the parking lot?

I hear its quite invigorating

[pitohui]

7. did they have cool mexican tequilas in the liquor section?

i love it that our walmarts in louisiana have such items as "grey goose" and "maker's mark" if the snobs only knew!

what's that mexican liqueur in a green bottle shaped like an agave but it's real sweet? do they have that?

sounds like a great experience, and i'm glad no one got trampled

wait here it is --



pour it over ice cream and play bad xmas music and what's left to do in life that you haven't tried?

[TomInTib]

19. Oh, Hell no

The liquor selection was flat-ass boring.

[htuttle]

8. "We were somewhere around Walmart on the edge of the parking lot..."

"...when the drugs began to take hold."

My wife likes to go there for cheap, bulk essentials and basic housegoods sometimes. I have to smoke a fatty first in order to deal with it...They put my family's retail stores out of business decades ago. And yet, if I'm looking for 'shit', they have the cheapest 'shit'.

I usually check at the second hand stores first, but if you need some crap like a muffin pan, you need a muffin pan...

[TomInTib]

24. A fucking muffin pan?

You buy muffin pans?

"...when the drugs began to take hold."

OK,

Tom

[w4rma]

9. lol. (nt)

[GrpCaptMandrake]

10. Anyone who references

Chinaco Anejo and Humboldt's finest in the same sentence GOTTA be a BartCop reader. Am I right?

Dang, with the Chinaco handy, the Sapphire seems almost superfluous!


Get On The H.O.R.N.!
www.headonradionetwork.com
America's Liberal Voice

[TomInTib]

22. I have enjoyed Chinaco Anejo for decades

But I love Gin

And Cabernet

And reefer

[Gato Moteado]

11. when the walmart in austin went 24 hours........

....i used to go in there after midnite, in an altered state, just to walk around the aisles looking at the people that shopped there and that worked there. it had a macdonald's right in the store, so when i got the munchies i'd get an order of fries and a coke and just walk around the store looking at the people in there and seeing what kind of crap they were buying at that time of night.

it was a freak show.

[pitohui]

12. you are so obviously not the only one who does that

i don't think our walmart has ever gone back to 24 hrs since katrina but oh. my. god. i won't even pretend i don't know what you're talking about, yeah, there were definitely some freaky people there

[Blue_In_AK]

13. All all-night stores have freaky people at 2:00 a.m.

We have an all-night Safeway about a mile from us -- it's like a whole other world after midnight.

[Gato Moteado]

35. yeah, and it was always interesting to see what kind of crap people buy at that time of night.....

...it's not like they're buying stuff they can't wait until the daytime to get.

i could see if it was emergency stuff, like medicine or food or munchies. but it was always crap like plastic shoes or garbage like that.

[TomInTib]

25. You know.....

I would fly to Austin, just to do the tour with you.

Tom

PS we would have 9 kinds of fun.

[Gato Moteado]

34. well.....i left austin about 4 years ago......

...so you'd have to fly down to costa rica if you want to party and people watch with me. trust me, it's more fun down here.

[givemebackmycountry]

14. I will kick and rec this simply for the "Chinaco Anejo" reference.

TomInTib, this shot is for you my friend.

edited to add my pleasure at the nod to Gods flowers. I'm couging up a lungful for you too...

[Missy Vixen]

15. Tom, Chinaco Anejo?

The nectar of the gods?

I am soooo jealous.

Stuff's amazing. Those who use margarita mix with it should be -- well, it's not very liberal of me to say where I think they should be consigned, but hopefully, there's no Chinaco there...

Happy holidays!
Julie

[TomInTib]

23. Ohhh..., Chinaco

I am about to dive into a vat of Chinaco and watch the Springsteen vid of Pete Seeger songs.

[Javaman]

16. Mmmmmmm, nopalitos...nt

[mitchtv]

20. Walmart, Mexico

Home of "volunteer" baggers. Sad to think they are there too.

[acmavm]

26. Sometimes the paybacks are instantaneous when you cross certain

lines of personal ethics. In the case of Walmart, here lately it seems to be if you get out alive you're still emotionally or musically scarred for life.

[complain jane]

27. I went in one near my house a few times, and

it's disgusting in there. There's always garbage on the floor... store circulars, fast-food containers, napkins, crap all over. Nothing is ever neat on the shelves and anything light-colored is filthy. Dirty fingerprints on things. And floor models of anything is most likely broken. It's always like that. I think I was in it 3 times at different times of the year and all 3 times it was like that. It was a few years ago and I never set foot in it since.

I hate Wal Mart.

[TomInTib]

32. Damn...

I like the way you write.

On second read....

Your blade is high-carbon, serrated, and kind of rusted...

That shit only heals with a great big ol' scar.

Slash and maim, the dogfish,

Tom

[bertman]

29. Please accept this heartfelt expression of my deepest sympathy to you and yours.

[TomInTib]

30. Thank you, bertman....

I will not soon forget this....

[ThatsMyBarack]

36. I'm never going into a WalMart again because....

I heard that people who speak with creepy electronic voice boxes shop there. :scared:

I don't care what anyone says. People should NEVER sound like robots when they talk! :scared: If I ever see one, I'm gonna RUN LIKE HELL AWAY FROM THERE! :yoiks:

[WolverineDG]

38. Oh, honey, you haven't seen anything until you've been to the Walmart

in Cancun. :scared:

dg