These are the issues we need to focus on this election: House sizes, singing voices and skin color

[Bjorn Against]

Please everyone ignore the war, it is not that important. After all I am told John Edwards has a REALLY big house. That is what we need to focus our attention on, because that is what the media focuses on so it MUST be really important.

Oh yeah, and I also heard that Hillary Clinton can NOT sing the national anthem very well. We can just ignore all of her stances on the issues, because dammit she can't sing worth crap. Why talk about her past support for an illegal and immoral war, when we can focus on how her voice sounds.

And don't about global warming, because Al Gore has a really big electric bill. It doesn't matter that he gets his electricity from renewable sources which do not produce carbon dioxide because the Republicans say he is a hypocrite so dammit we must focus on every baseless attack the Republicans make. Remember this is the man who said he invented the internet, well maybe he never actually said that but a lot of people SAY he said that so therefore we must keep repeating it over and over again. Al GORE WROTE ALL THE CODE TO CARRY DATA THROUGH THE TUBES WHICH MAKE UP THE INTERNETS!

And don't forget Barack Obama is black! Actually he is not really black he is what Rush Limbaugh calls a "Halfrican American". Who knows if black people will embrace him or not? And I even heard his father was a Muslim! Can you believe that? What the hell would happen to this country if we had a President whose father did not share the exact same religious beliefs as he did?

And then there is Dennis Kucinich. Did you know he is short! I mean really short, kind of like an elf. Certainly we can ignore the fact that he was right about the war from the beginning because he is not physically attractive enough to be President!

So please everyone, ignore the war. Ignore the shredding the Constitution. Ignore the millions living in poverty. Ignore global warming. Ignore the people living without health care. Let us focus all of our energy on debating house sizes, energy bills, skin color, height, religion, and whether or not Al Gore really did invent the internets. Who cares if our planet is destroyed, at least we will have a debate on the issues that really matter.

[undeterred]

1. Shouldn't Mrs. Obama and Mr. Clinton get cancer

if they want to be competitive, I mean?

[MistressOverdone]

2. Also remember that Hilary

has heavy legs and looks bad in skirts. Personally, I'd never vote for her.



i don't need that sarcasm thingie, do i?