Do any DU parents want to share: What do you think it costs nowadays to raise a child?

[Mike 03]

And what do you consider "raising" a child.

In your mind, does that include any costs that happen over the age of eighteen?

Does it include tuition for college, a car, any type of insurance?

You are the obvious people to ask! (duh, on my part)

You've been there, or are going through this right now.

[Happyhippychick]

1. I've never calculated it but in my family it would include college tuition, graduate school

tuition if it immediately follows college but not necessarily a car.

It's a lot of money. I think if I ever actually calculated it I would throw up for the next five years straight so I'll just keep taking it one day at a time :)

[gizmo1979]

6. my kid goes to grad school

next year.That costs more than I make in a year.

[Mike 03]

14. Lol, but I'm so touched by your reply and the replies of others too.

Thank you for your input.

I have such a high regard and respect for people in your position.

[BlooInBloo]

2. I would consider it getting the little monster thru his or her first 2 years of college....

And paying for 1/2 of any car that he or she wants.

He or she should be able to earn enough from 15 or so onward to cover that much.

[Warpy]

3. Inflation and now deflation will change the costs over time

and any calculation I've ever seen has been in current, constant dollars.

It's all pretty meaningless, in other words, especially since we have no idea of the true inflation rate thanks to our Enronned government.

[liberal N proud]

4. 4 years of college and all the extras required with that

We have provided our oldest daughter with a car. Most likely will do the same for the second as well, if we have the financial ability.

[panader0]

5. I make about 24 grand a year and have three teenagers.

The two girls have jobs, and must pay their own insurance on a hand-me-down car. I pay the cell phone bill, and all household expenses. They all make good grades and the oldest (17) is second in her class of 850 high school juniors. I own my land and self built house, so taxes is one of my biggest bills ($1200 a year). The kids know that they must get scholorships for college, and I don't think that will be a problem. So, all in all, less than 80 grand per kid so far with two years left.

[seabeyond]

7. no idea and doesnt matter. we are fiscally conservative so not huge expense

up to now. 13 and 11.

car.... sons are already saving. they have to pay insurance. and hubby insists we match them.

we pay college and grad

[ProgressiveProfessor]

8. If you exclude college its on the order of $10-20K a year, depending on how you count things

Expense to consider include:

Larger house
Additional driving
Larger car (including addl insurance)
food
clothes
insurance premiums uplift
uncovered medical & dental
Day care/after school care
Baby sitters
summer programs
Cellphone
computer
broadband/modem costs
Their own car & insurance
Sports/extra curricular fees and expenses
Entertainment
Books

Those are not all of it and some may not apply in all situations or times. Diapers when they are young, prom dresses when they are in high school as an example. Also the children can help by working. However, the raw numbers are just scary when you look at them

[Ms. Toad]

9. We're paying for college.

Not expecting to pay for graduate school - but we'll see. There are often stipends available for graduate school - and spouse and I each paid for our own so the presumption is that kid is on her own.

In our house it included a car, gas, and insurance (to use, not to own, although when she graduates from college it may become a gift). She often needed transportation right after school - it was quite inconvenient to provide transportion mid-work-day (3 PM). Since the extra set of wheels so she could transport herself were for our convenience, we paid for them.

It may well include health insurance post 21. She has a chronic illness - and the consequences of not maintaining treatment and screening tests would be late detection of cancer. Even though she is off my health insurance at 21, I would pay for separate health insurance rather than risk her not being treated.

As for numbers - hard to tell. College at a private school at today's prices is around $180,000. You can get by with around half that at a public school, or lower if you have a post-secondary option and get 1-2 years of college credit while still in high school - or start at a community college for the basic courses. Insurance for someone with health issues is around $12,000 a year - if you don't have health issues you can get for a young adult for perhaps $3000 (or if you want to insure only against catastrophic losses around $300 a year + whatever it costs for routine care which won't be covered.)

Other expenses are pretty much what they would be for any other member of the family.

[Dappleganger]

10. An arm and a leg...

and part of my backside. :P

For us it includes tuition to two years of community college (if their grades are good), and as much help through a state college as we can afford at the time, but they are expected to pony up for room and board, books and fees.

They can borrow a 'family car', right now it's a 1996 Honda Civic. We have four kids--17, 15, 12 and 11. All of them were homeschooled through 4th grade then put into local public schools (we used to live in an area where PS was pretty bad). The oldest two have been working since they were 14, btw.

[MrsMatt]

11. a LOT!

My husband & I are both in agreement about what we would consider our obligations to our children - at least half of college costs should be borne by us; car is a option (depending on our family's needs), but insurance would continue through undergraduate years.

Both of us were the first generation to attend/graduate from college, and we're both children of farmers. Both of us had to work our way through school, and take out loans for our education. Our parents helped as much as they could, but realistically, they were too poor to do much.

Our upbringing makes us feel we need to instill a strong sense of independence in our children - we'll give as much as we can if they are motivated, but if they are not motivated to succeed, we're not going to indulge them in four (or more) years of screwing around on our dime. We'll support them for two years, but then they have to prove to us that they have a plan for their future.

[KoKo]

12. It depends on if the child grows up in Poverty like the Parents....or the Parents have Other Means..

It's kind of "case selective" in our current American Culture. Those who can afford the best...coaching to get through SAT's and to get into the "Advanced Placement Classes" go off to the college of their choice with scholarships in many cases.

Those who live in Trailer Parks...might have a "genius or two" whose brain and abilities OUTSHINE and OVERCOME their poverty will thrive, too.

BUT...what about "THE OTHERS" who fall through the cracks who NEVER find a mentor who will help THEM achive a goal that doesn't maybe end up in an Intellectual Pursuit like Harvard, Yale, Princeton, MIT or Stanford...where they CONNECT with the "Powers that BE" who will decide their future IF they SUCK UP ENOUGH to their "Chosen Professors" who also have ties to Major American "Think Tanks."

The "Playing Field" in America is NOT LEVEL...

[uppityperson]

13. Years off my life, many grey hairs and a brazillion wrinkles.

I don't have an answer as far as money goes, and the college tuition/trade school costs I would include. A car, no. But I would include insurance as long as my kid lived with me and was on my car insurance plan. Health insurance, yes.

[Mike 03]

15. I'm reading every single word you all write, and I respect and appreciate

every word you are writing.

Thanks for participating in this thread. I'm sure a lot of us who are reading your posts are learning a huge amount about what it is like to be a parent during these difficult years.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing.