I Killed My Parents -- They Asked Me to Do It

[Christa]

The author explains why, after his parents made their wishes clear, he didn't argue.

In November 1998, John West's father, who had recently been diagnosed with cancer, asked him an extraordinary favor: help him commit suicide. After the tremendous weight of those words settled squarely on West's shoulders, he looked at his father and said the only thing he knew to say, "You got it." So, on the evening of July 2, 1999, John helped his father take a cocktail of pills. By morning, he was dead. The death was attributed to the cancer, and only West knew better. Months later, his mother asked West the same devastating favor and, again, he agreed. For more than a decade, West kept the secrets to himself, not even telling his sisters the role he had played. Now, he is coming out with his side of the story in The Last Goodnights: Assisting My Parents with Their Suicides Counterpoint Press, 2009).

Full article:

http://www.alternet.org/rights/125352/i_killed_my_parents_--_they_asked_me_to_do_it/

I can only hope my loved ones will do it for me, should I ever need it.

[havocmom]

1. Our society really does need to grow to the point of accepting that kindess is more

than extending time.

[Greyhound]

2. I hope they don't charge this poor guy.

We are just batshit crazy in this country.:crazy:

[The Doctor.]

14. No....

"We have batshit crazy in this country."

... and lots of it.

[leftchick]

3. I agree

we put animals to rest humanely yet make humans suffer to the end. We should treat all life humanely.

[DesertFlower]

5. exactly. nt

[ZombieHorde]

13. An interesting point. nt

[Hell Hath No Fury]

4. My Mom and sister have asked for help...

from me if they ever need it. I have agreed and hope I have the courage it will take if then time should ever come. :(

[FLyellowdog]

6. My hope for you is that it never comes to that.

[Hell Hath No Fury]

10. You and me both!

:hi:

[Warpy]

7. My mother used to beg me to help her die

but I took her to the doc and got her put on elephantine antidepressants. They kicked in and she started to get out of bed and be a little more active, but she said the only thing she was looking forward to was death.

My dad saved two months' worth of sleeping pills and put them in her reach, telling her they were there if it got too hard. She gained a great deal of peace of mind about that. When my dad fessed up, I thanked him for doing that for her. She never did take them, though. She just needed to know they were there.

I encouraged my dad to keep them around, stored in the fridge. He never used them for an exit although he did use them once in a blue moon for their intended purpose.

That's been the track record of assisted suicide, that terminally ill people generally don't use the drugs but they gain a great deal of peace from knowing they're available at any time.

I don't know what I would have done had push come to shove, probably told my dad which OTC drugs could be used and in what dosage. I do know that I would have left the final act up to each of them.

Leaving them in pain and fear with no way out would have been unethical.

[underseasurveyor]

8. Great bravery and even greater love

I'm not sure I could do it.. maybe.. I don't know. I hope I never have to wear those shoes.

I have a strong feeling that my stepfather and my mom have some sort of agreement. My sister and I have talked about it and neither one of us would be surprised if our SF kills our mom and then himself.. He's close to the point of being unable to take care of her and he's the only one that can.

More power to those that can.

[cobalt1999]

9. I offered my services when my father was near the end with lung cancer

He liked knowing the option was there, but, thankfully, never asked.

[seabeyond]

11. no, he didnt kill his parents. he was with them to the end, comforting them as they

chose to go.

[11 Bravo]

12. You just know some fundie whack job DA is going to try to charge this poor guy with murder.

[Stinky The Clown]

15. I would like to have that as an option were I to find myslef in some untenable circumstance.

[ehrnst]

16. my stepmother would have done this - but wanted the life insurance to pay her bills after her death.

There were about $35,000 of them when she died of ovarian cancer, and she went into hospice for the last two months.

I wonder how many terminally people would rather end their lives with dignity, but are afraid that their families will be destitute without the life insurance money.

[TalkingDog]

17. I let my mother die from a massive stroke.

She had large cancers in her lungs and brain with metastized cells growing new cancers in her ribs and other bones.

She didn't want more chemo or more radiation. She just wanted to be at home.

So we took her home. Hospice came, check in on us once. The next day, I was helping her into bed and she collapsed in my arms. I called my sister in from the other room to help me get her into the bed.

She spasmed for about a minute and was still. We cleaned her up and then took turns sitting with her until she just stopped. It took 3 days; swabbing her mouth every 15 minutes or so, changing her diaper, talking to her when she would hum softly.

The Doctor did an autopsy. Massive stroke. So no, the cigarettes didn't kill her. The cancer didn't kill her. Officially the stroke killed her.

The Doctor told us we were doing it the hard way. I didn't think so. It's what she wanted. And what I hope anyone who loved me would do for me.

[YOY]

18. Sometimes killing is not a negative/criminal thing and forced living is far more cruel than that.

Although I prefer to consider only the cases of critical physical illness in such times...mental illness makes the lines so much more blurry....

[spanone]

19. how sad that he robbed the pharma companies of a chance to exploit his parent for more $$$$

:sarcasm: