I am so frikin pissed I don't know what to do. A child is in the hospital and I am some of why

[greenbriar]

We have a new principal who has mandated that when we send out progress reports, if a child has a D or F we must call home.

So, I have this student who has had a bad couple of weeks and has a D

so, I yesterday I called home...


last night his muther trucker of a step dad beat him so severely, he is in the hospital

the other two children were removed from school by authorities today.

I also had one of the other students as well.

She was terrified all day



HOW can people do that to kids and how can that POS mom stand by and watch someone do that to her own flesh and blood???

[rateyes]

1. Ah, the real world...

...sucks, doesn't it?

[Redstone]

2. Good God, I feel SO sorry for that kid, and for you as well. And I share your anger at the mother.

Don't beat yourself up too much. You had no choice in the matter.

Redstone

[greenbriar]

9. how can someone stand by and let an asshole beat your kid

the son of a bitch doesn't work,

mom does...she is probably abused as well

but if anyone ever touched my child like that, he would be dead

[Fridays Child]

15. I'd kill him twice, if I could figure out how.

[Donnachaidh]

16. and how do you know he doesn't beat on her as well?

I had a school friend who would get beaten by her Dad. And when the mother stepped in to try to stop it, she got her ass handed to her, too.

Don't be so quick to judge the mother.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

22. No, you DO judge the mother

You DO. She's the adult. They're HER children, for christ's sake, not his. He's their stepfather.

The mother, by not getting her children out of there and letting this happen - you know it wasn't the first time - is simply handing those kids over to her husband as an offering so that she can stay married to him.

She's as much of a monster as he is. A mother's first instinct is to protect her young. In this case, something's gone horribly wrong in her, and she should not ever get those kids back.

[acmavm]

94. You are ABSOLUTELY right. You protect your child. No matter what.

No matter who.

That is a parent's most important job in life.

[Scout]

32. SHE is supposed to be a responsible adult

she needs to get herself and her children away from the asshole

you don't sacrifice your children to save yourself ... at least not if you are a real parent. a breeder might try that shit, but not a real parent.

[Arkansas Granny]

51. If that was the case, the mother should have removed herself and her

children from the household, notified the authorities and pressed charges. You can't justify allowing your children to be harmed just so you don't get hurt too.

[Redstone]

28. Parents are supposed to be willing to die to protect their children, yes. Your anger is justified.

Like I said, though, you can't change that. Try to go a bit easier on yourself.

Redstone

[roguevalley]

92. detached from the reality, afraid so long it makes you mute. I've

seen it before. Teaching lets you see a sad slice of life. Poor angel. I hope they are all right.

[snappyturtle]

3. I feel so sorry for everyone hurt by this man. How are you doing?

If this had happened to me when I was teaching, I don't know if I ever could give a "D".
TO answer your question, I think people who beat kids come from a different species.

[Believing Is Art]

4. Chances are he hits her, too

I don't understand how a mother can let her husband do that, but I wouldn't criticize her without knowing whether or not he abused her, too.

I'm sorry to hear about this. Can you send him a card just saying that you heard he is in the hospital and you hope he gets better soon? If he's struggling with his grades and you have time, maybe you can give him some extra help or extra credit.

At least the authorities are aware of this now and maybe some good can come out of it.

[Ex Lurker]

29. because to protect your child you do whatever's necessary

letting him/her get beat up because "he beats you, too" is not a valid excuse.

[Believing Is Art]

33. It's not an excuse, but I won't jump to judgment on the mental state of an abused woman n/t

[Name removed]

50. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[greenbriar]

52. In this family's case, the Mom works

the step dad does??????


so if she is the bread winner and he is worthless

he needs to be booted out

[Lyric]

55. I wasn't addressing only your case, greenbriar.

Of course every case is individually different. However, the poster I was responding to made an asinine judgemental statement that covered a LOT more women than just this one.

And yes, he needs to be booted out. But how can they make sure that he stays away? Restraining orders are flimsy protection against bullets and knives. Getting out of an abusive relationship is a hell of a lot harder than it sounds. It's so EASY to say, "Just leave!" and so HARD to actually accomplish it. It's more complex than a lot of people think.

As for your case--did you never notice any strange behavior/bruises/etc. before this? Usually teachers are the first to notice something like this if it's a pattern of abuse. If I were you, I'd talk to this kid's previous teachers and see if *they* ever noticed anything odd. If nothing else, you might find a witness or two for the case against him.

[raptor_rider]

57. I was abused,

my story is down below.

I took my daughter out of my situation before he could start on her also. He had supervised visitations with his own mother being the supervisor and she still got hurt.

I took control and he never saw her again, and he never will.

I put up with his shit for over 2-1/2 years, the last two months of it being physical abuse to the point he drug me with his car, and when he finally stopped, I hit him for it and he pulled me into the car, floored it and pushed me out of it. I was almost killed and the courts still thought that it would be "OK" for his to have visitations with my daughter.

As a mother, I tried to keep her safe and I failed her in that. However, I did win in the end.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

70. You're a heroine

You did what the best mothers are supposed to do - you protected your child.

I'm sorry this happened to you, but I'm damn glad you got you and your daughter out of it. You did not fail. You succeeded wonderfully.

You got out and away.

Stay safe and be proud.

:toast:

[raptor_rider]

83. Thank you

I have since met a wonderful man. She was six at the time. She even told him that she wanted him to be her "Daddy."

He has since adopted her and she has taken his last name. She also has two little brothers with this union that she loves very much.

She has turned out to be a wonderful little lady.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

85. Her Mom

seems to be a wonderful big lady.

Thank you...........

[raptor_rider]

88. I truely appreciate your

comments. Thank you!

:hug:

[eilen]

5. You are not really part of the why.

Childbeaters find any reason to beat the hell out of their kids. Some children will volunteer to get the worst of it to protect their siblings.

I have a very good friend who had this experience growing up. My own dh was beaten for coughing when he was sick. It is not your fault.

It also may explain why he is pulling D's. It's hard to do homework hiding in a closet.

[sandnsea]

6. You aren't the reason why, my goodness

An abuser abuses, that's what they do. If it hadn't been this, it would have been something else. At least now the system will easily recognize what happened and the abuser won't be able to twist it around and make excuses for himself. I hope somebody finds out whether the mother is worth the intervention, or whether there is a natural father somewhere. Occasionally, there is a natural father who would love to have his kids, but the child protective system goes too far out of their way to protect the mother-child relationship. Or maybe an aunt or some other family member.

Calling parents when kids are failing is a wonderful thing to do. I wish more schools took those kinds of extra steps.

[panader0]

7. It's not your fault.

In the long run, hoping that the boy is not seriously injured, it may be the best thing to get him out of a terrible environment.
The high school here does the same thing (call home). I am lucky that my kids are all excellent students.

[Vinca]

8. OMG - I can't imagine how upset you must be.

Whatever happens, don't put any blame on yourself. The stepfather is a criminal and if the mother was there she's no better. I hope the poor kid recovers and is placed in a loving home.

[4 t 4]

17. Oh my god

that's awful but you did what they told you to do how could you ever know what would happen. Let yourself feel bad but don't blame yourself and just think you might have saved their lives. He might have killed them now he should never be able to abuse them again. Did he get arrested ?

[Veritas_et_Aequitas]

10. It's not your fault at all.

Child beaters/wife beaters will find excuses to assault their children/wives.

[pacalo]

11. Heartbreaking situation.

It's not a case of the school being to blame, but of bad parenting.

:hug:

[LastConservativeDem]

12. I would be pissed as well

Beating a child over a poor academic performance is uncalled
for.

The step father sounds as if he is just looking for things to
beat.

[SammyWinstonJack]

91. Beating a child for any reason is UNCALLED for.

[pleah]

13. Please, don't blame yourself.

At least the children have been removed from a dangerous environment. I hope the young boy will be okay soon.

[greenbriar]

14. seriously makes me rethink my grading policy...it is just middle school

and doesn't really count for anything

I may bottom out at C's from now on.......



I am devistated and crying


I came home and hugged my 17 year old and told her how much I loved her and appreciated her

[WI_DEM]

19. It's not your fault. A good parent wants to know how their child is doing

this parent is no kind of parent and was just taking his own frustration out on the child.

[TahitiNut]

25. Don't get into a codependent trap. Don't.

Codependency is simply described as interlocking bad behavior -- she nags because he drinks and he drinks because she nags. We cannot allow ourselves to behave in a wrongful way by taking responsibility for the wrongful behavior of others. Their "REASONS" are not reasonable - they're dysfunctional excuses for brutality.

Do NOT take responsibility for the brutality of some sociopath.

[Redstone]

38. Very, very, VERY good advice.

Redstone

[Lydia Leftcoast]

39. But look at it this way: because of what you did

those kids have been removed from an abusive home.

I bet your student was being beaten for all reasons and no reason long before you wrote that report card.

[rateyes]

48. Motherfuckers fuck their mothers...

Abusers abuse. Period. You may have just saved a child's life. You are a hero. :applause:

[roody]

65. Or blow off the call home.

[proud2BlibKansan]

75. Not an option

We have to keep parents informed. It's not only good practice but board policy in most school districts.

[barbtries]

18. i don't know how

one my daughter's best friends had to move out of state to her father's after her stepfather sexually abused her, and her mother wouldn't leave him. go figure.

eta: try not to beat yourself up - the man is a beast obviously, he is the guilty party.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

20. I saw this far too many times

Starting out as a young lawyer in Virginia, I worked as a court-appointed guardian ad litem for abused kids.

I don't even like to think of what I saw in that job.

One of the worst involved me, accompanied by MPs, going into a house on an Army base (the Commonwealth grabs jurisdiction in juvenile court cases) to find a newborn who hadn't been seen since her military parents, both enlisted, had brought her home. The nurses at the hospital were worried, something about the parents' behavior when the little girl was born.

Couldn't find her. We tore the place apart, the parents just stood there, in custody, saying nothing.

Then, one of the MPs opened a drawer in a chest of drawers. The baby was inside, with two broken arms and two broken legs.

How do people do this? Why did that mother let that husband beat her kids?

I don't know. I'll never know.

No one will ever know, but it's as close as I can come to advocating capital punishment.

If and when you get the kids back, I am certain you'll be a great comfort to them. I know you will.

[renate]

66. you and the nurses are heroes

I'm so impressed that the nurses not only realized that something was off about those parents but actually went the extra mile to make sure that little baby didn't slip through the cracks.

You must have terrible memories of that incident, but I hope you also feel so relieved that because of you, the nurses, and the MPS, that poor defenseless little baby ended up being taken care of, and would remember nothing of what had happened.

:hug:

[Tangerine LaBamba]

87. People watch

It's astonishing how people watch other people. Most folks aren't aware of it, but people are watching and they've got a really fine sense of when something is "off". The nurses saw that those parents weren't behaving properly with their newborn.

They saved that little girl's life. I often think of her, and wonder if she knows anything about what happened to her. I hope she ended up with a family that loved her - she went right into foster care, of course - and that she grew up strong and happy. The Army court-martialed both parents and they went to Leavenworth with serious sentences. The Army does not like that kind of thing to be made public, which was what I threatened if the book weren't thrown at those monsters - it might have meant the end of my brand-new career, but it would have been worth it.

I was just plunged into a world I had never imagined because I was looking for work. I ended up doing it long after my practice took off because it needed to be done. But, all the way through those years, I was always amazed at the generosity and kindness of people who did not want wrongs to go unnoticed or unpunished.

When the BushWorld seems too much with me, I think of those people, and then the air clears.

Here's to all those folks I'll never see again, whose names I often didn't even know:

:toast:

[GentryDixon]

21. She is being abused as well.

[EFerrari]

53. Yep. n/t

[ThomCat]

23. At least it is coming to light.

That monster is hopefully going to jail. He hopefully won't be beating any more children. x(

:cry:

I hope those kids can get a lot of help. I hope they can somehow recover from the fear and abuse. How do you overcome all of that and still do well in other parts of your life?

[barbtries]

24. also:

is the stepdad in jail?

[greenbriar]

26. I don't know...I am not an admin so was not privy to that info

I hope so

[aikoaiko]

37. look him up. google you county jail. there is a good chance they have an internet list of people

who have booked and jailed. My county has the last three days up.

[BR_Parkway]

27. If you're going to insist on taking blame, then take credit as well

because of the situation, those kids have been removed from a man who beat them who knows how many times before and a mother who didn't protect them. How many other beatings will these children NOT have to endure because this man got found out.

[Warren DeMontague]

30. No shit. If it wasn't this, it'd be something else- if not now, in a week, or a month.

Seriously fucked up, but at least now hopefully the situation can be remedied.

How awful.

[greenbriar]

31. true

that is a good way to think about it

[skeewee08]

34. I am sure this is not the first time, so you must hold the mother responsible

she allowed her children to be subjected to this, she needs to take the blame/punishment. What grade do you teach?

[greenbriar]

36. middle school

kids are between 11 and 14

depending on what year I am teaching

[JFN1]

35. You are not at all responsible for this

There is no way you could have known what would happen, so don't blame yourself. And hopefully the POS will get whats coming to him from the judge...

[underseasurveyor]

40. Oh that poor kid

I hope the step-father is in jail and stays there for a long ass time and the mother better wake the fuck up and find her spine.

I'm sorry greenbriar and btw none of this is your fault.

[NNN0LHI]

41. I am not a violent person but I sure would like about 10 minutes in a room privately with step-dad

I would beat him senseless.

Don

[greenbriar]

42. just got off the phone with my principal...I was not the only D he got

and he basically was saying the same things

that it wasn't my fault and that I was following protocol

[Tsiyu]

43. ...

:hug:

[guardian]

44. Do they have any open spots at Abu Ghraib?

That's where I'd put vermin that abuse children.

[cpamomfromtexas]

45. Oh my heart hurts for you and the child.

[madrchsod]

46. i`m in a situation right now with an abusive female relative

my wife and i are guardians of the child. she took a baseball bat to her boyfriend. it`s been going on for 8 yrs now and the state finally did something.

the two boys were doing really bad in school and the school had no clue about the abuse their mother was doing to her boyfriend and in the past her (ex) husband...

did you read where the chicago school system may have over 800 cases of abuse by teachers and coaches?

[proud2BlibKansan]

56. Why in the world would you post such a thing?

The OP is a TEACHER who is telling about a kid who was beat by a PARENT and the teacher is upset. Your comment "did you read where the chicago school system may have over 800 cases of abuse by teachers and coaches?" is uncalled for and does nothing to help this teacher. I also can't help but notice no link. Just like Fox News, you are reporting innuendo as fact.

And in this thread, that not only fails to address the topic but it's also just a shitty thing to say.

[rateyes]

47. kick

[raptor_rider]

49. I was abused by my daughter's bio father

I am so glad that I was not married to him. I finally left when she was 4 months old. I had a restraining order on him and he was allowed supervised visitations for a couple of hours on Saturdays. The supervisor was his mother.

When my daughter became mobile with crawling at 6 months, we started noticing red marks on her arms, back and legs. They would go away after a while. This went on for 4 weeks. We then decided to "forget" to be home and took off in the car for a couple of hours to see if it was possibly the car seat causing it for being in a car seat for too long. We were thinking that they just left her in the seat. Well, need less to day, that was not the cause.

I took her into the doctors for a normal check up and asked him if it was possible abuse. He said that it could be, however it would be hard to prove since we are not there to witness anything. He told us to video tape her minutes just before her being picked up and right when she got back home.

We did just that. We changed her clothes and taped what her body looked like and how her mannerisms were. 2 hours later when we got her back, she clung to my mom getting her from his mom. She had never done that. Her face was tear streaked and she looked frightened. Got her in and proceeded to take off her clothes. She was covered in red welts, nail gouges, and had a couple of bruises that she could have not given herself.

We took her straight to urgent care to get looked at. Head to toe x-rays and it was inconclusive if she was abused. I took him to court and nothing came of it. He got away with it. However, he has not seen her since and it will be 11 years this April.

I thought I was protecting my daughter by taking her out of the situation that I was in to where she would not get abused and thought that with his mother being the supervisor, that she would not let him abuse her, I was wrong. She did get hurt, and would not trust men until she was almost 4 years old. The only man she trusted was my father. He did something to her that day. I do not know what, and I do not know if I want to know. All I know is he will never see her again.

[Muttocracy]

74. that's heartbreaking. :(

[raptor_rider]

82. She has grown to be

a very beautiful little girl. Granted she is only 11, and she has had to face many things in her life that ones do not need to face.

She is strong, supportive, and loving. She accepted my husband as her daddy and has been adopted by him and has taken his last name.

Her "Daddy" may not be bio, however he treats her like she is his. That is what is important.

She is a Type 1 diabetic. We almost lost her when she was diagnosed at 9 years old. We all stood beside her and prayed over her to live. She has overcome that and is living with a disability, that no one should have to shoulder, and being the best little lady that she can be.

If Bio was still involved in her life, I believe that she would not be here right now. She is my light that keeps me going, along with her little brothers.

[blaze]

54. Oh greenbriar

:hug:

I can't even imagine being in your position.

I, too, would be tempted to never, ever give anything less than a "C."

But, had you not given the "D", the abuse might have never been discovered... perhaps you, and the other teacher(s) who gave this child a failing grade have intervened on a horrible situation that has now been brought in to the light and maybe this frightening situation has opened a door for him. You may have created a critical opportunity for this child to survive.

:hug:

[BlooInBloo]

58. Aw fuck. :(((( You couldn't have known, though.

[Control-Z]

59. I had a father kind of like that.

He beat me in the 5th grade for one "B" out of all "A"s. He beat me for not answering him quickly enough. He beat me for losing my pencil. He took all his anger and hate for the world out on me. He wasn't a criminal, though. He actually showed me more love, in many ways, than my children's father shows them. I just don't think he could help himself. Honestly. I did end up in foster care, but missed him terribly, and regret being taken from our home because my father died before I ever saw him again (though, I may have ended up dead, myself, had I not).

As for the mothers of these kids? My father beat my mother worse than he beat my sister and me when we were little. She finally took us and ran, but ended up dead. Her fear of him put her in a deadly situation.

To say the least, there is a complex dynamic in the home of a batterer. Simply removing the children is not always the best answer, imo. Running away can be dangerous. And the emotional pain, the shame of getting taken out of the home, can be almost as bad as the physical abuse. If anything, it is the batterer who should be removed, and if possible, treated for anger, mental illness, alcoholism, or whatever is the root cause of the violence.

You have no responsibility for what happened to your student. Trust me, it would have happened eventually for some other non-reason.

[proud2BlibKansan]

60. I called a parent one night and the next day the kid came in with a huge patch on his eye

Dad had beat him with a belt after I called and the buckle had hit him in the eye. Nurse took one look at it and called an ambulance. Kid almost lost his eye.

Turned out Dad had put the patch on his eye and sent him to school hoping the nurse WOULD look at it and change the dressing. Dad apparently was far from the sharpest knife in the drawer.

Dad ended up in prison for a couple years and kid was in the hospital for nearly a week.

Still haunts me to this day. I think about this kid and can see his face every time I call a parent when a kid acts up.

So yes, I know exactly how you feel. Wish I could make you feel better :hug:

[greenbriar]

68. thank you

I was so devistated after school today

but now, after reading these posts and talking to my pastor,


I feel a little better

and yes, maybe it was a good thing to make everyone aware and maybe the kids are safer now!

[Gregorian]

61. Poor children. And poor parents as well. They're all in pain.

I cannot imagine. There is no doubt the adult doing this is in pain. I try to see beyond guilt and punishment. I don't think it serves a purpose. People who do this kind of thing are in great great pain. And also don't have the ability to contain their problems. And they cause pain in others as a result.

Precious kids need guidance and love.

I hope we can get beyond punishment, and move to help both victim and perpetrator.

My best go out to them all. Protect the kids, and help the adult if at all possible. I'm optimistic we can.

[terip64]

62. I am so sorry. What an asshole principal! It's not your fault. I know that doesn't make it easier.

[leftyclimber]

63. You are none of why this happened, greenbriar.

If it hadn't been this, it would have been something else.

If you hadn't made that phone call, there would still be children in that home being abused. In a way, you got them out of there a little faster, as horrible as the circumstances for their removal were.

[raptor_rider]

64. You are the teacher

and you were doing your job. The step-ass probably had them hide the signs of abuse really well or abused them in such a way that normal clothes covered the bruises and such. Abusers are clever and hit and kick where normal clothe wearing will not show the marks. You probably would have never seen the marks.

You did not fail anyone. Shoot, I have an 11 year old daughter that is in the 6th grade and is doing crappy this 6 weeks. PTC was very interesting. 3 D's and 2 F's. She is not abused, however Type 1 diabetic. It tends to interfere with her work if she is too high in her BG numbers.

You did your job and you most likely saved these children a lot of pain, even death.

Take care hon, you need some love right now!

:hug:

[renate]

67. if it hadn't been that D, it would have been something else eventually

Thank goodness the kids will be protected now.

This must have been a terrible, terrible shock to you--even though exactly none of it was your fault and you were just as innocent as the kid. :hug: In the long run, he will be better off than if the beatings had continued in secret. I'm so sorry for him and the other kids :cry:

[greenbriar]

71. I cancelled my yearbook students after school and bawled all the way home

and then cried while making this post


I guess you could call DU therapy as you all helped me start to feel not so horrible

[Raine]

69. It's not your fault

at all, don't be so hard on yourself. An animal beat that kid, he's the one at fault, not you. :hug:

[LisaL]

72. It's not your fault. But maybe the new principle should reconsider

this protocol, based on this.

[Marrah_G]

73. Aw geez Green.........

:hug:

How incredibly awful.

At least they are out of the home now and hopefully he will go to jail.

Perhaps, in the long run that call started a chain of events that will change their lives for the better.

Still though....:hug: I know you are hurting.

Thank you for all that you do. Caring teachers are a wonderful thing indeed.

[SmileyRose]

76. Do we know Mom was home?

It's common for spouses not to find out until down the road. Abusing assholes are also very good about figuring out how to keep it a secret, sometimes for a very long time.

[greenbriar]

77. I am assuming Mom knows as the kids were pretty good at protecting her

from what i understand


again, I am not admin, so there is a LOT that I don't know about this situation

[Lil Missy]

78. Good God. And it's no wonder he is getting D's

I sure hope the bastard that did this is sitting in jail.

[wordpix]

79. I know this isn't the gist of the post but let me address the school principal:

The purpose of progress reports is to let parents know how the kids are doing. The principal is mandating the teacher call to say the same thing over the phone that she says in the reports. This is redundant, right? :wtf:

If a parent cares about things like Ds and Fs, the parent will typically contact the teacher to get further information and ideas about how to help his/her child---or to chew out the teacher for giving such bad grades to Johnny, as sometimes happens, too.

The asshat principal is putting too much on his teachers---on top of doing reports for 75 or 100 students, they must call a number of parents, too.

Just keep overworking teachers and see how many good ones stay in the profession year after year. Not many.

[greenbriar]

80. 178 students thanks...

he is also going against contract and demanding we have monthly meetings showing our unit lesson plans

[Tab]

81. I sincerely hope you reported it

(legally you probably have to)

In a bizarre way, it's probably a good thing, if it results in your getting that child out of that environment.

Unfortunately, there is no test (aside from a pregnancy test) to determine who should be a parent and who should not.

That's just awful.

From the point of view of the mom, though, I'll guess that she's also been beaten. Many times.

That guy should be in jail. I wouldn't put the majority of blame on the mother. I'll bet she's scared to shit too.

Sad all around.

[greenbriar]

84. the other two kids were removed today

that is how we all found out about it...

we had a meeting

[carlyhippy]

86. Hopefully the man was arrested and the kids were all taken from the home

It may be a blessing in disguise, you may have inadvertently saved the kids from more physcial abuse. Prayers are with the kid who is hospitalized.

[knitter4democracy]

89. I had a mom call once at 6:30am over her daughter's grade in my class.

It sounded like she was beating the crap out of her daughter, and I finally got through to her and calmed her down while listening to her daughter crying in the background. I reported it that morning, but nothing ever came of it, so I did what I could to encourage my student and help her pass my class after that. What else could I do if they wouldn't do anything? At least they got the kids out of there. It's definitely not your fault.

Then there was the student whose mom forced her to get an abortion upon threat of sending her to her abusive dad's house. She wasn't my student but instead the teacher's across the hall. When she told me the horrific story (no pain meds, no hormones afterwards to get her set, the girl obviously suffering from PTSD and maybe more), I made her report it, and when the school made the mom come in, she admitted it and didn't care. The police told our vice principal that it was a legal medical decision and there was nothing they could do.

There are days I don't miss teaching at all.

[ehrnst]

90. Yes the mom fell down on the job, however...

You are asking a question that would be reasonable to ask for someone who is not in an abusive situation.

My uncle molested his 15 year old stepdaughter. When she told her high school counselor, and he was taken away, her mom broke down and cried and sobbed. Then she talked to my POS uncle, who cried and sobbed.

The mom then told the courts that her daughter was a liar, and had been trying to seduce him.

Yes, I was outraged, but not really surprised. He had been emotionally abusive, and often physically abusive to her. She had 5 kids, and always talked about how grateful she was that he "put up" with so many kids, and agreed to support them.

For her it was survival.

The bastard served 2 years, and the daughter tried to commit suicide several times. That's what happened to her when she fought back - and that sent a message to all the other kids in the family.

But the first question that I would always ask was "where the hell does this man get off bullying everyone?" because he threatened to hit me once when I was 10. I told him that I would tell everyone, including my mother, who would happily throw his ass in jail forever. But I was scared of him.

[glowing]

93. This is why the bootstrap mantra sucks.. the woman may be with the man

for some kind of stability.. if they leave, they are in a homeless shelter or something... or she's the product of a long line of abuse herself and doesn't know any better... Abuse sucks. The whole perverted sickness of abuse.

[LanternWaste]

95. Just try every day to be the best person you yourself can be...

Just try every day to be the best person you yourself can be, and from that many, many people will be that much better for it also. I realize that it must sound trite, but what you did is an Absolute Good. We really can't do much more than that in this day and age.

What frightens me... what amazes me are the statistics of child and spousal abuse. If the numbers are real (and all other things being equal, I have little reason to doubt them), then odds are a small handful of my co-workers are victims of this. Odds are, there may even be posters (both children and spouses) on DU who are currently victims of this.

And for what it's worth, you, your students, their mother, a handful of my co-workers, and a number of DU'ers will be in my thoughts, in my heart, and in my prayers tonight.

[Lil Missy]

96. Any update on the condition of the child?

[greenbriar]

97. he is not in the hospital any longer but he is not home either

we had inservice today so that is all the info I have

[Liberal_in_LA]

98. terrible! Glad they were removed from the home. hope the stepdad is in jail.

[greenbriar]

99. again, thank you all

you all helped me through a horrible situation

I feel so bad for this child, but I also know I was doing my job and that it is not my fault the child received a D


I also think maybe things will look up for those 3 children.

I am also going to be more aware of the "silent" signs for all of my students

[AZBlue]

100. I'm glad you're feeling a little better - you really should, you've helped him escape that nightmare

The process of it might not have been ideal, but who knows what might have happened to him if he had stayed there any longer?!

:hug: