No Nursing Home for Us!

[OneBlueSky]

received this via e-mail from a retired couple I know . . . their plan sounds good to me! . . . :think:

No nursing home for us. We are checking into the Holiday Inn!
With the average cost for a nursing home care costing $188.00 per day, there is a better way when we get old and feeble.

We have already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn. For a combined long term stay discount and senior discount, it's $49.23 per night. That leaves $138.77 a day for: Breakfast, lunch and dinner in any restaurant we want, or room service, laundry, gratuities and special TV movies. Plus, they provide a spa, swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge and washer-dryer, etc. Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.

$5 worth of tips a day will have the entire staff scrambling to help you. They treat you like a customer, not a patient. There is a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride free. The handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp).

To meet other nice people, call a church bus on Sundays.

For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there. While you're at the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.

It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will take your reservation today. And you are not stuck in one place forever, you can move from Inn to Inn , or even from city to city. Want to see Hawaii ? They have a Holiday Inn there too. TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem. They fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience.

The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid checks to see if you are ok. If not, they will call the undertaker or an ambulance. If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.

And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to find you, and probably check in for a few days mini-vacation. The grand kids can use the pool. What more can you ask for?

So, when we reach that golden age, we'll face it with a grin.
Just forward all our email to the Holiday Inn!

[grannie4peace]

1. what a great idea- if you have that $ :):)

[xchrom]

2. what it should be like --

and what it is like.

[proud2BlibKansan]

3. LOL I said this same exact thing when we were looking for a nursing home for my mom

The cost was more than my yearly salary. Still blows me away.

I kept saying for $300 a day, why not just put her in a fancy hotel with room service?

[dysfunctional press]

4. aren't they called "nursing" homes for a reason...?

what kind of medical staff/equipment does the holiday inn provide for it's convalescing guests?

[havocmom]

7. Too many of the ones I have visited also keep 'guests' drugged up for convenience

OK, I am aware lots of people need lots of meds, but spend some time watching. It is sad how over-medicated so many people are. Keeps 'em easy to tend though.

We had a case of nurse on staff at one place who did cut back on some of the meds.... SHE used most of the pain killers and left her charges with only the sedatives. Sure, she lost her certification, for about a year. Now, the state is fine with her working in same places again. One must consider she is not the only one.

When a 'guest' really needs medical care, most nursing homes ship them to the hospital until they get stable again. Seems they are more warehouses than medical facilities. Yes, some are great, but many are warehouses/money siphons for private businesses. And didn't Carlyle Group buy a bunch of them?

[lunatica]

26. Overmedicated they are

But to be fair, nursing homes can do just so much. I spend many daily hours in a nursing home when my mother was sent to one for rehabilitation. She was there two months and I was able to see how the staff acted and how the patients acted. The staff were invariably cheerful, on time with medications, food service, general bodily care and therapy and twice daily community sing-alongs, group exercise, etc. Staff were assigned to those who couldn't feed themselves and it was done as a community. There was meal times and the food was very good considering. The patients were strongly encouraged to dress in regular clothes, either by themselves or with help,yet they weren't forced to do anything they didn't want to, including get out of bed or join in on the community activities.

Patients would occasionally be sedated heavily yet dressed and brought into the communal area as usual. Invariably the reasons for sedating the patients was due to their own unruly activity which would tend to put them or others in danger. The things that consisted of unruly activity were physical violence in which the patient would lash out to hit other patients or the staff. The constant attempts to escape and leave the building or after a prolonged period of screaming and attempting to grab at everyone who came close or was in the vicinity.

Granted, not all nursing homes are like this, but the only one I had considerable contact with which was daily for two months while my mother received physical therapy and lessons on how to cope with dressing herself, rolling over and getting out of bed, and basically regaining her strength after losing 60 lbs in three months because she stopped eating. She actually had to strengthen her leg muscles with therapy so she could walk again.

Yet I now take care of her and I'm fighting any need to take her to a nursing home as long as I can care for her but it's so expensive that I may not be able to afford it when she might actually need it. She has dementia and is incontinent which is hellish, but she's able to walk to the kitchen and serve herself the food we prepare for her.

[Deja Q]

30. These?

[Hello_Kitty]

5. Will Holiday Inn provide nursing and living assistance?

Most people aren't in nursing care because they need a place to live. They are there because they can't perform basic activities of daily living the enable them to live alone: Bathing, dressing, toileting, continence, eating, transferring (getting in and out of bed or a chair).

[Barack_America]

6. You could probably hire a nurse's aide to come daily and still save money.

It's an interesting idea.

[Hello_Kitty]

9. Not for 24 hours.

Maybe if the person only needs someone to come in a few hours a day.

[Barack_America]

10. I think you're overestimating the care people get at nursing homes.

And I didn't get the sense from the OP that the people considering this had serious medical needs. This obviously wouldn't be an ideal situation for anyone who does.

Perhaps they meant "retirement community" instead of "nursing home", many people use the words interchangeably.

[Hello_Kitty]

23. The level of care needed varies.

I can range from needing someone to come by 3 times a week to do some chores and shopping to 24 hour a day nursing care.

[we can do it]

20. Do You Really Think Nursing Homes Pay Close Attention 24/7?

They check in once in a while, if you're lucky.

[Hello_Kitty]

24. Depends on the level of care needed. eom

[we can do it]

25. Having Been a Fire Fighter Paramedic Most NHs Call To Have Pts Taken Away

to hospitals when ever there's any need for medical help, when they finally notice there's a problem. I've seen decubitus ulcers down to the bone, so don't even try to tell me how much care is received for the money spent.

[Spangle]

8. Agree, but however

Where are the places for folks who do not need hands on help? The cost is even higher then 'care' type places. IT's crazy!

My Mother was looking for such a place. She could not afford it. The Holiday Inn idea would be perfect. It would even include someone coming to clean the room and change the sheets!

[Ilsa]

14. Not based on my research in my area.

Clean, but not "country club" assisted living is far cheaper than a full-fledged nursing home where personal care and hygiene is delivered. Nursing homes also take care of "total care" patients who may rarely leave the bed.

Keep looking for an affordable solution. Also, talk to a social worker about any benefits she may qualify for, like VA.

We are avoiding premature assisted living for my father who has Parkinsons. Eventually, he'll probably need total care, and doesn't have long term care insurance. Right now, he needs a constant companion for safety.

[marylanddem]

11. I agree that nursing homes are vastly overpriced

Which is why I would hazard a guess that 90 percent of nursing home residents have exhausted their savings, relinquished their assets, and are on Medicaid for the rest of their lives. My mom is in a nursing home because she is unable to physically care for herself (dress, get to the bathroom, prepare food) & we are not equipped to do those things for her.

If you know of a Holiday Inn that provides these services, please share.

[Warpy]

12. Get a home health care assistant in for 4 hours twice a week

to help you with bathing and laundry, and you're home!

Expect the Holiday Inn to eject you should you develop the greatest predictor of needing nursing home care: incontinence.

Families (and hotel staff) are seemingly prepared to deal with anything but adult diapers.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

34. We did that with my grandmother for many years, but

eventually, she reached the point where she couldn't walk at all, and my mother and stepfather, with whom she lived, could not get her out of bed. They were in their seventies at the time. Even with me helping, it was a real effort to transfer her to a wheelchair and then to the toilet and then back, because she was dead weight.

I agree that nursing homes vary A LOT in quality. Relatives have to be vigilant.

[MurrayDelph]

13. However, if you think you might need a doctor

(or at least someone who THINKS he is one), you would need to stay at the Holiday Inn EXPRESS.

[Celebration]

17. you are right!! LOL n/t

[Traveling_Home]

15. Support the Community Choice Act - NO NURSING HOMES

http://www.jfactivist.org/

CCA Day: Support Housing Choice
* * * Call to Action * * *


Monday, February 16th, President's Day, ADAPT will contact the Obama (a sponsor when he was a Senator) Administration.

Tuesday, February 17th, CCA supporters across the country will visit the local offices of members who haven't signed on.

Ask your U.S. Senators and Representative in Congress to become initial cosponsors of the Community Choice Act (CCA)!

It only takes a COUPLE of minutes. CCA will be reintroduced soon. Rather than start all over again building the number of cosponsors, we want to have the bill reintroduced with as many initial cosponsors as YOU help us get.

Use these links to contact your US Senators and Representative.

Contact your Senators at:
http://capwiz.com/rochestercdr/issues/alert/?alertid=12598871

Contact your Representative at:
http://capwiz.com/rochestercdr/issues/alert/?alertid=12597841

-CCA Summary (will be assigned a new bill #):
http://www.adapt.org/casa/summary.htm

-CCA Talking Points:



Talking Points on the Community Choice Act


1. The demographics of our country are changing. More and more people with disabilities are living, and could be thriving! Reasons for these changes include:

a) the aging process, the graying of America, b) children born with disabilities are living, c) young adults, who previously would have died from accidents or illnesses, are living -- thanks to medical technology and other advances.

2. Our long-term service system must change. Created over forty years ago, it is funded mainly by Medicare and Medicaid dollars; medical dollars not originally meant to meet people's long-term care needs. We must think out of the box to empower people and allow REAL choices.

3. The money should follow the individual, not the facility or provider. A national long-term service policy should not favor any one setting over the other. It should let the users choose where services should be delivered. Our current system is not neutral, and it doesn't reflect people's choices.

4. The current system is needlessly expensive. We must explore cost-effective ways to meet people's needs.


Community services have been shown to be less expensive on average than institutional services, and better liked by individuals.

In FY 2005, 63% of our total $94.5 billion long term care Medicaid dollars ($59.34 billion) are spent on nursing homes and other institutional services, leaving only 37% ($35.16 billion) for all community services (waivers, personal care, home health, etc.)

5. People with disabilities -- both old and young -- even those with severe mental and/or physical disabilities want services in the most integrated setting possible. Overwhelmingly, people prefer community services so they can stay in their own home.

6. People with disabilities and their families want REAL choice, which means:

a) equitable funding opportunities, b) no programmatic or rule disincentives to community services, and c) options for services delivery which include agency based services, vouchers, and fiscal intermediaries. Empower people with disabilities and families.

7. Family values keep families together

a) children belong in families b) grandparents at home! c) Mom and dad together with the kids d) communities take care of their own.

8. Money following the individual can eliminate overburdening government rules and regulations.

9. A functional system based on need instead of medical diagnosis could end FRAGMENTATION of the service delivery system.

10. Keeping people in the community allows the possibility for individuals with disabilities to train for work so they can become TAXPAYERS instead of TAX USERS.

11. The federal government needs to work in partnership with the states to create flexible delivery systems that give people REAL choice.

12. Change can cause fear of the unknown. Some long time providers of services and families believe REAL choice would threaten what they have. We cannot continue the system as it is today; it is expensive, fragmented, overly-medical and disliked by almost everyone.

There's No Place Like Home!

[NC_Nurse]

16. My mom has a free nurse - me. She gets to stay home. Don't underestimate

amount of work it takes to do it though. Adult diapers are the tip of the iceberg, especially with Alzheimer's and dementia.
It may look like the nurses aren't doing much, but I seriously doubt the hotel staff would be willing to put up with the stress
that I do. I could never work in a nursing home. It is VERY hard work. You have MANY patients like my mom and get paid diddly for it.

People act like the staff at homes don't care. Some probably don't, but like anything else - you get what you pay for. Believe me, they aren't getting rich.
The owners may be, but the staff isn't.

[Ilsa]

18. My father is being cared for by three of five of his children. Two of us

have to drive at least two hours, so we are there overnight. He needs a constant companion so he doesn't take any chances and hurt himself again. His Parkinsons is advancing, but he still has control over his personal hygiene, for the most part. We haven't reached the Depends stage yet. And fortunately, I am a RN and my brother is an RT. And the other sibling has been good about not trying anything without checking with us first.

He's going to need total care eventually, and we won't be able to do that at home. We're trying to save his money for the nursing home.

[NC_Nurse]

22. We have the same future. Parkinson's and Alzheimer's have similar endpoints.

I am lucky, my dad got them both long-term care insurance for when that is a necessity.
Unfortunately, they don't pay for in-home care. There are a lot of things that need to change
in our current system. I hope it's addressed soon.

[Midlodemocrat]

36. I took care of my dad for a while, and then he went to a nursing home.

I was there every day for the three years he lived there and they did a wonderful job with him. They adored him and took excellent care of him.

Some of those employees are truly Heaven sent.

[Vinca]

19. I would off myself before I checked into a nursing home.

No way, no how, never, never, never.

[October]

27. My mother didn't have a choice. Listen to this...

She awoke from "elective" surgery having had a stroke...

She was paralyzed on one side, in a drug-induced coma for weeks...

She had to go to a nursing home after the hospital. Because it was a long-term illness, she HAD to go on Medicaid, meaning I HAD to sell her house, car, possessions...

She lost some cognitive abilities. Aphasia. Inability to read. Could not walk. She could converse fairly well after a few months. She had to learn how to swallow and eventually the trach was removed.

When she came to a fuller realization of what was going on, she HATED me and BLAMED me. The nursing home was $6000- $7000 per month because she was in a critical care situation upon arrival. It was a good place, but still AWFUL for someone so young -- 60.

When I thought about moving her to an assisted living facility, they wouldn't take her because she was now on Medicaid. These assisted living places want DOWN PAYMENTS -- meaning big bucks. We'd spent her big bucks (!) on the nursing home fees early on. It's what they call the "spend down" period. You have to document every penny. You cannot, for example, sell her car for $100 to a needy son. She was not able to pass on her assets to her children or grandchildren because she would have had to have done that 3 years prior to her illness. How she was supposed to predict that, I don't know!!! I was told that families "usually" help -- and it was said to me in a very judgmental fashion. They honestly expected me to pay $2,000 a month out of MY pocket. I was astonished!

My mom was a heavy smoker her whole life and overweight. When she did not recover from elective surgery, we learned she would not be eligible for a heart transplant if needed because of that weight. Don't you think the cardiologist should have said... something like, "Lose weight first BEFORE this elective surgery because if anything goes wrong... your options are limited"?

Anyway, I could go on... but it hurts too much. I lost my mother, my aunts/uncles who judged me and remained in denial over the tragedy, friends, nearly my husband... and my children's lives were severely impacted. It was only negative. My mother was never generous of spirit and remained angry and nasty for the next 5 years. Now she cursed more and lashed out at me -- and ignored the grandchildren who visited. It was torture for me and my family. My mother was never a mother to me while growing up, and didn't want to be -- but I did all I could for her my entire life. I was always the mother, so this wasn't a new "switch of roles" for me like everyone thought. Sadly, she passed last January. Modern medicine kept her alive for those 5 years in a horrible place and nearly ruined so many other lives in the process. Nursing homes don't do much at all. I had to do all the doctor stuff, outings, etc. They did the bare minimum, and thought they were superior beings. They put on a show every time we visited.

<exhale>

[SmileyRose]

28. First

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

Second - for those who may find themselves in similar circumstances. - I don't know if it's just in Georgia - the neighbor's mom recently went into long term care. Every time they write the check for $5000 to the nursing home out of Mom's assets, they also write a check for $5000 for beneficiaries - so the nursing home leaches only get 50% of Mom's assets, not all of them, before medicaid kicks in. It took the neighbor a mere 5 months to go through all of Mom's assets but at least Mom had the peace of mind knowing her kids benefited at least a little financially from what man and wife worked a lifetime to build.

[October]

42. No... I had to verify every penny. We were not allowed to benefit at all as her children.

As I mentioned, my brother could have used her car. She was paralyzed, after all, but I had to sell it at Blue Book value or more (it was new-ish).

It all went to the nursing home. PA law?

[Ilsa]

29. "I was told that families "usually" help -- and it was said to me in a very judgmental fashion. "

Well, yeah, the patients that already have there in the facility would probably have to have help from their kids in order to be there. I bet they didn't mention how many people they turned away because they couldn't afford it, or how many people they booted out because they grown kids don't have the money.

[elocs]

35. Just like moms who stay at home,

there is a lot of guilt attached to placing a loved one in a nursing home and there is judgment of those who labeled as being not loving and noble enough to care for their own parents rather than placing them in a nursing home. People do what they can, are able, or must do and I would not judge anyone for their decision in this matter.

[October]

43. You're right.

Because LATER, when her assets were "spent down," we were turned away. All under the guise of "Well, there's a waiting list for Medicaid beds..."

[Deja Q]

33. K&R for your response. Am bookmarking.

[Vinca]

37. OMG - I'm so sorry. What happened to your mother is my very worst fear.

Your role in it was my very worst fear when it came to my father. Luckily . . . I guess . . . we didn't have to face the nursing home thing. Life is very hard sometimes.:hug:

[October]

44. It was quite a learning experience.

I felt so sorry for my mother. Imagine waking up having lost everything. Before her memory returned, she would ask me questions. She couldn't say my name, but KNEW it. Anyway, she'd ask, "How many children do I have?" and "Am I married"? I had to retell her her own story...and the memories were so painful...she had to relive it all.

Eventually, her memory came back very strong, as well as her ability to converse. However, she could never read again, and couldn't answer questions very well. It just came out wrong.

One nurse was very kind to us, understood our situation. Many did not and thought I should give up my life to care for her. It was awful. I had two young children! Her illness and my care of her during that time lasted fully half of my son's life. No one understood. She needed round-the-clock supervision more than round-the-clock CARE toward the end. But she had come as far as she was ever going to come. She knew it, and felt so trapped inside her own mind.

I was at peace with her loss, even though she was too young (65).

[Vinca]

45. I think you're an absolute saint for what you did for her.

My stepmother had a stroke and died the next day without regaining consciousness. I don't think I could have ever taken care of her the way you did your mother. You're a very strong person.

[October]

46. Wow, no one has ever said that.

It wasn't even 24/7, and it nearly killed me.

[SmileyRose]

21. I REFUSE to ever need a nursing home.

I have more experience with end of life, aging, nursing homes and disability than I ever wanted. I've seen too much. I have no children, most of my family is more than 1000 miles away. When I get close to the point where I physically or mentally CAN'T live independently I will find a way to be dead.

And yes, I'm serious.

[Ilsa]

32. What if you awake from an accident or surgery paralyzed or

half brain dead? You may not be able to do much about it, especially if your life is "saved" before the hospital or doctor finds out you have DNR orders. I agree with your premise, but it may be more difficult to accomplish than you think.

[SmileyRose]

38. I have advanced directives on my person at all times.

I have a neon colored sheet in my wallet and wear a medic alert bracelet directing medical personnel to look in my wallet. My very explicit directives ask that all medical care, nourishment and hydration be withheld, with the exception of pain control, until I die - should the kind of circumstances you suggest arise. In this kind of emergency I would expect doctors to attempt to save me. But in the couple of months following the initial emergency, there would be further assessment in regards my wishes for myself should I not be capable of speaking for myself. I'll grant you there will be a doctor who ignores it all, and it's impossible to plan for every circumstance in life, but I have done what I can to hedge my bets.

Now, if I have enough cognitive ability that the doctors decide I'm not bad off enough to let nature take it's course, then I WILL have enough brains to figure out someway to commit suicide. Even if it's as simple as refusing to eat, drink or take my medication in the nursing home. Once it's made clear to personnel that this is not how I want to live the rest of my life, coupled with the fact my assets are few - it won't take long before someone in the setting realizes it's best to let me have my wish and move on to whatever is next for my soul.

I am very very serious about this - there are MANY things worse than death and I've, unfortunately, seen too many of them.


Sidenote - This is different than a DNR order (which I do not have) in which a person who's already terminal has requested no lifesaving intervention. This patient should have a medic alert bracelet with DNR right on it and a copy of the form easily accessible to emergency personnel.

[Ilsa]

40. Congratulations! You seem well prepared, and I wish everyone was

as ready as you are to face whatever may come.

Sorry about the DNR comment. I know better, but I posted without thinking through the terminology.

[Javaman]

31. That is of course if one believes that...

1) you aren't going to die at your desk 2) if you get "retired", that you aren't going to die at the entry way of some big box retailer as a greeter. (a fate worse than death)

as for me, I have fully accepted the idea of dying at my desk. It's not my dream to say the least, but these last 8 years have pretty much confirmed it.

I still have quite a few years before I am forced to "mandatory retire", but frankly, given the current landscape, and how long it's going to take for us, if ever, to dig ourselves out of this mess, I'm planning on my funeral services to be held at my desk.

[RB TexLa]

39. I can't believe the Country Firsters haven't blasted you as a traitor yet

By choosing Holiday Inn you're allowing foreigners to get some of your money! You know "Buy American! Don't ever give any of your money to a foreigner!" Your decision to support one of the "transplants" sends profits to FOREIGNERS, destroying this country and the lives of Red Blooded Mericans!


InterContinental Hotels Group PLC
Broadwater Park
Denham
Buckinghamshire
UB9 5HR
UK



:rofl:

[Christa]

41. K & R nt