*** The DUzy Awards will rise again. ***

[JeffR]

Having stuck a couple of syringes full of steroids in my butt, I will now do a Roger Clemens and come out of retirement.

The DUzy Awards are returning, with some changes.

I can only take one nomination per person per week from here on out. This will make for shorter threads (a good thing) and more variety (also good). To those who were prolific with their PMs in the past, I thank you for your help and look forward to your future input, but with this restriction, you'll have to make your one nomination per week really count.

Also, threads on politics and current events will get the heavy emphasis they used to have, with only very occasional exceptions.

And only original material has a shot at inclusion. Don't send me a link to the 40th iteration of a viral email gag about the Bush library or a graphic from 538.com that's being posted for the umpteenth time. I want to recognize DUers, not the whole left blogosphere.

A couple of kind DUers have offered help, and I'm trying to figure out how best to exploit their generosity for personal advantage (it's the American way, after all).

Watch for an abbreviated edition of the DUzy Awards on Friday evening.

Finally, my thanks to Hawkeye-X for gamely taking on the challenge after my retirement. Take a bow!:toast:

[Barack_America]

1. Frist!

I don't know, they do this "FIRST!" bullshit on TMZ and this seemed like the appropriate DU substitute.

;)

ETA: Yea! Duuuuuzy's!

[babylonsister]

2. Bravo/bookmarked. And if I can

help in any way, count me in! :yourock:

And thanks to Hawkeye-X, too, for his efforts!

[Mira]

29. Giving you one of my last two hearts, Babylonsister, it breaks mine to see you with not quite enough

[graywarrior]

3. DUck Awards!

Qwaak!

[Bicoastal]

17. YOU WERE SPOSED'A FREE THAT DUCK!

Liar! x(

[graywarrior]

23. Where would he go?

[hisownpetard]

67. To my house! (I already have the orange sauce warming in a pot).

[Starry Messenger]

4. Yay!

And also thanks to Hawkeye-X for his interim Duzys.

[EFerrari]

5. Okay. You know where the stash is if you want it.

:)

[leftstreet]

6. ...

[ColbertWatcher]

7. Bravo! Welcome back! n/t

[Lars39]

8. Deadline for submission?

So I can draw straws at the last minute on what link to send you, of course. :D :yourock:

[JeffR]

16. Preferably no later than about noon eastern on Friday.

Earlier is better, of course.

[Lars39]

30. Thanks, JeffR!

[underpants]

9. blah blah blah yeah yeah yeah get on with it already

dammit!

[bleever]

10. You are a brave and valiant man,

and I salute you.

:patriot:

[emilyg]

11. Goody. Thanks.

[Liberal In Texas]

12. Give that man another heart!

[malaise]

13. Great news

You do have a heart and we know it's hard work. :grouphug: :fistbump:

[rosesaylavee]

14. From henceforthwith we dub thee "St. JeffR"

Thank you for taking up this herculean task one more time. You are certainly a good human being. I look forward to Fridays once again.

:hi:

[bridgit]

15. YeeHaw!

[qanda]

18. This is great news!

Looking forward to the return.

[Warpy]

19. Thanks Jeff

Being a snob anyway, I'll find your request for one nomination per week more than generous.

[AwakeAtLast]

20. Woo hoo!

:woohoo:

Yay!

:bounce:

Outstanding!

:applause:

And - I'll try to find less humor around DU, but gosh darn it, DUers are FUNNY!

;)

[Bobbie Jo]

21. *** YAY! ***

Your efforts are much appreciated! :yourock:

[scarletwoman]

22. Hooray! The stimulus package is already at work! The DUzys rise again!

Flush with new energy and purpose! Pumped up and raring to go! Thrusting once more into the breach! Strokes for the DUzys!

:D

sw

[JeffR]

33. At least until they shrink into raisins from the steroids.

:o

[Hawkeye-X]

62. At least a few thousand dollars for DUzy re-start

should have been included in the stimulus bill, dammit!

Bet the pukes took it out!

[tularetom]

24. Ooh! Ooh! If I give you a heart

Will you give me a DUzy?

[BlooInBloo]

25. :) I was going to suggest that it appeared to me as if the project had gotten...

a bit wild & wooly size-wise.

Keep it small. You're going to miss some good'uns. That's the way it goes.

[applegrove]

26. Yeah!

[Danascot]

27. JeffR, you da man!

a masochistic and twisted man, but da man none the less.

:evilgrin:

[TheCowsCameHome]

Good news, but I've wasted a lot of material in the mean time.

Just kidding, just kidding.

I welcome them back here on DU,

Thanks, JeffR.

[blueraven95]

28. ...

:woohoo:

[pacalo]

31. Thank you, Jeff!

[awoke_in_2003]

32. Looks like I will be bookmarking

throughout the week- It may be hard to do, but I will make sure you get the best of what I see.

[keroro gunsou]

34. thank you sir

may i have another... i mean a first? :D

[JeffR]

35. Your chances greatly improve if you point me to something you think is good.

I always reserve right of refusal, of course, but I have pretty Catholic tastes. People do nominate their own posts sometimes, and those self-noms often snag a DUzy.

[sutz12]

36. I take it you've received your federal bailout funds, eh?

:) j/k

Great news, bro. I understand about the brevity. It did get quite wild and wooly, there.

Nobody is funnier than a bunch of DUers.

[JeffR]

37. Yep.

I'm using most of my stimulus stipend to buy a ranch in Crawford, Texas.

Whatever's left over will go to the DUzy contingency fund, I guess.

[cherish44]

38. Noob here...could someone explain the DUzys please?

[flvegan]

46. I'll go one better and show you

Check JeffR's journal, here:

http://journals.democraticunderground.com/JeffR/180

[Adsos Letter]

39. "for personal advantage (it's the American way, after all)."

I thought nationalization was the thing in Canada... :rofl:

are we all due for a tax? :D

[JeffR]

41. That's the beauty of being an American living among these people.

Even after years, they seem so darned foreign. Society actually makes a bit of sense here. Not much, but noticeably more than back home. And both nationalization and a reasonable facsimile of progressive taxation play a large part of it, though both are under relentless attack from the GOP wannabes who have attained at least a minority government here.

I'm going to follow the President's example here and declare a threshold. Any DUer making more than $250,000 a year has to pay a laugh tax, even on the merest guffaw. Lurkers freepers can expect to pay double. If the upper class DUers don't laugh at all, they have no tax liability. The freepers, on the other hand, still have to cough up, all revenues going to President Obama's newly created Socialist Takeover Advisory Board.

I'd move to DC in a heartbeat if I could head up that panel.

[Adsos Letter]

42. I will galdly serve as a special interest group for the DUzy's...

as a Progressive revenue-generating program on my trips to Philly to visit my daughter. :D

It's but a short drive to DC...

[JeffR]

43. K Street! This is a great idea. Pack your bags, stat.

We need to write to Jack Abramoff for a few pointers. I just hope the President's determination to rein in lobbyists gets stalled by the obstructionist GOP Congressional caucus for a while. Maybe if Harry rolls over, there's still time to get in ahead of the new rules and hope there are no provisions for retroactive restraint-of-tained-but-legal-trade.

Damn, I feel like a real capitalist tonight. I wish I had a cigar handy.

[Seldona]

40. K&R

An institution revived! Bravo!

[Mabus]

44. Thank you Hawkeye-X and JeffR

I applaud you both.

[laststeamtrain]

45. This is very good news.

I missed the intentional humor.

The unintentional humor can be soooo sad.

[DS1]

47. Excellent policy changes

[myrna minx]

48. Yay~thank you so much for putting these together.

:applause:

[WilliamPitt]

49. YAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!

:)

[grantcart]

50. Just when I thought I was out they pulled me back in

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACIS1inmjFc

[grantcart]

51. dupe

[Kurovski]

52. That was quick.

I just learned of your retiremet a few days ago, didn't I?

Is there a scandal involved here? Maybe even a made-up one?

And have you heard about Wetzelbill and nance? Hmmm?


I have to sign off now, but my condolences to you and I think it's just plain awful what that Wetzelbill has done.


:evilgrin: :hi: Gotta run!!

[JeffR]

53. Wetzelbill's a politician. You didn't believe all that "hopeful and changeful, too" jive

did you?

I pulled the plug a couple of days after Inauguration Day. Hawkeye-X kindly stepped in, but he's under his own time constraints.

The DUzy Academy Executive Board will be introduced on Friday. Naturally, I retain tight control of all profits, which on a good week consist of jelly babies thrown at me by woozy teenage girls while they scream, "I love you, Ringo!" I don't know why they call me Ringo. Then of course, they start burning my records when I say something about being more popular than... ah, well, it's long story.

Nance's true agenda here, I believe is a new cabinet-level position, Secretary of STFU, the one part of the Obama Administration where all pretense of bipartisanship and "President of all the people blah blah blah" would be dropped. As in, "The Secretary of STFU responded to John Boehner's recent statements concerning the Stimulus Bill, saying 'Shut the fuck up.'" or "In a brief appearance on CNN's The Situation Room today, Secretary NanceGreggs asked the host, 'Why don't you shut the fuck up?'"

[Kurovski]

59. Don't think I haven't noticed that when you strip away about sixty-four words from your post...

I can see that you're telling me to "Shut the fuck up".

Please hurry up with that board list, I have a great deal of bribing in my future and need to get started ASAP, for fuck's sake.

[JeffR]

64. You stripped out the wrong words.

You were supposed to end up with "John Boehner". It was my Valentine bouquet to you and your new guy.

[Kurovski]

66. And in regard to your OP here...

be very careful what you stick in your butt.

As an example...I'm having second thoughts about John.

[SeattleGirl]

54. Yeah, baby!

:toast: :bounce: :toast:

[Hubert Flottz]

55. OoooooooooooooooooTAY!

I'll be glad when the DUzys are back so I can laugh again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again :bounce:

[DinahMoeHum]

56. Just remember, HawkeyeX still owes me a name recognition

from his sorry attempt to sit in for you.

:P:P:P

[Hawkeye-X]

63. 'Tis true..

My last unfinished edition DID have DinahMoeHum on it.. :)

[Earth_First]

57. I'll host the BUzy's to celebrate!

[QueenOfCalifornia]

58. !

Yay!


Or is it spelled Yaa?

Anyway - however it's spelled, welcome back. :)

[PBS Poll-435]

60. Like Vampires, the South, and Britney Spears

:woohoo:

[Hawkeye-X]

61. *bow*

Thanks for letting me give this a shot. But alas, it was not meant to be.

I'm sure I'll forgo the DU mails that I've gotten in the last three weeks (or so) to alleviate the load.

[Spazito]

65. Wonderful news!

Thanks for picking this up again, it is MUCH appreciated! Thanks to Hawkeye-X for his work as well.

::bounce:

[hisownpetard]

68. JeffR - You are a man among men (and women)! A gentleman and a scholar,

a prince, a stalwart, a kingpin and a benefactor of humanity!!

I don't know why, but after going great guns for a couple of years, I basically stopped posting after the Inauguration -
a combination, I guess, of euphoria and political exhaustion.

And now, I realize, a definite by-product of a world without DUzys.

My self-imposed and totally unnoticed absence will now end.
FULL SPEED AHEAD, ME MATEYS... there are DUzys to be won!


P.S. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy!!!! I knew
you'd come to your senses sooner or later.

P.P.S. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!