Coming to NBC: "To Catch a Cheney"

[FourScore]

Coming to NBC: "To Catch a Cheney"
by Jeff Cohen

I have a plan to get NBC out of last place in the ratings. I'm promising blockbuster audience and international buzz. As a once disgruntled ex-employee, I now just want to be positive and help NBC, which needs all the free advice it can get.

Here's my idea: A series of NBC News primetime specials featuring spectacular ambushes of big-time criminals lured into what they expect to be pleasurable surroundings. But, with hidden cameras whirring, the startled villain is dramatically confronted with the evidence of his massive crimes as millions of viewers look on in scorn and righteous amusement.

If it sounds familiar, it's because NBC News has scored huge ratings with its "To Catch a Predator" sleaze-fest - in which potential sex offenders by the bushel were lured via the Internet to what they thought would be sex with kids and instead got caught by NBC cameras and cops in hiding.

But my proposal doesn't involve sex abusers. I'm talking about men who've launched illegal war, mass murder, torture, dictatorship. And they're household names...

SNIP

...So here's my advice: Go big. Go after superstars and only well-documented, slam-dunk cases of war crimes.

Coming to NBC next week: "To Catch a Cheney." Next month: "To Catch a Kissinger."

How do you lure such big names to an NBC News lair for their ambush interview? You simply invite them.

Given the soft treatment they've received over the years, they'll come running quicker than a Net perv to Lolita. Trust me: the element of surprise is on NBC's side - since these uber-officials are confident their crimes will remain eternally off-limits.

To lure Dick Cheney from his undisclosed location, NBC's "To Catch a War Criminal" producers could pretend to be booking "Meet the Press." Cheney has been as comfy on that show as Alec Baldwin on "Saturday Night Live." It came out under oath in the Scooter Libby trial that Vice President Cheney's office viewed "Meet the Press" as "our best format," a program in which Cheney could "control the message." Putting him on that show, testified his communications chief, "was a tactic we used often..."

http://www.commondreams.org/view/2009/02/17

[pacalo]

1. Brilliant. Kind of like the old "60 Minutes" format when they used to

expose crooks, liars, & thieves. I would look forward to it as though it were a weekly Super Bowl!

[Wickerman]

2. Indeed

I could see having my Super Bowl like party. Fire up the projector, surround sound stereo and potluck munchies in the kitchen. Unlike the Super Bowl my invitees would actually watch this!

[pacalo]

3. That's what I'm talking about. It might even undo some of the Faux News damage.

[Kolesar]

4. BRING UR GLO STIK 4 ANAL RAPE, K?

GOT GITMO PRISNR

[gratuitous]

5. Isn't NBC just the politest?

I caught the first segment on Today, and they were all over themselves to bring out "Fox News Contributor" Karl Rove to make vacuous comments on the stimulus bill, which he hasn't read, doesn't vote on, and will never answer to voters for. It was just soooo precious! Warmed my heart like watching those Special Olympics kids running the 100 yard dash. Rove, looking more like Jabba the Hutt with each passing week, being given the pasha treatment by his slavering hosts, who are blissfully unaware that Rove already has a platform from which to spew his mean little squirts of bile.

I agree they've prepared the trap beautifully. None of these war criminals would suspect a thing until Chris Ha-a-a-ansen comes out and invites them to sit down. Have a seat.