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Pryderi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-17-09 10:44 PM
Original message
Trangenderism, Homosexuality and Bisexuality
Call me old-fashioned, but I can understand transgenderism and homosexuality easier than I can understand bisexuality.
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FreeState Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-17-09 10:46 PM
Response to Original message
1. What is there to understand? n/t
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givemebackmycountry Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-17-09 10:47 PM
Response to Reply #1
3. Really -
Remember the old saying:

"sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't"
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Pryderi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-17-09 10:48 PM
Response to Reply #1
5. I guess the problem is with me. I tend to believe in "either/or" in terms of
sexuality...not "both".
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FreeState Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-17-09 10:50 PM
Response to Reply #5
7. It is either or - bisexuality is not a "I must have both" thing n/t
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Pryderi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-17-09 10:51 PM
Response to Reply #7
8. Are you saying bisexuality is a choice? n/t
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FreeState Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-17-09 10:53 PM
Response to Reply #8
13. No - Im saying bisexuality is not the same thing as monogamy
Edited on Tue Feb-17-09 10:54 PM by FreeState
A bisexual person has the capacity to romantically fall in love with members of either sex - it does not mean they fall in love with more than one person at a time.
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Heddi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-17-09 10:55 PM
Response to Reply #13
15. Well, I think you can be monogamous and be bisexual
I've been with my husband for 11 years and in that 11 years, our relationship has been monogamous. However, before we met, I equally dated as many women as I did men. And I did not go outside the relationship of those people when I was with them.

It's not like being bisexual = being a cheater
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FreeState Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-17-09 10:57 PM
Response to Reply #15
19. Exactly... the op said it was a situation were one had both
I was pointing out that monogamy (or lack there of) has nothing to do with sexual orientation.

http://www.apahelpcenter.org/articles/article.php?id=31

What Is Sexual Orientation?

Sexual orientation is an enduring emotional, romantic, sexual, or affectional attraction toward others. It is easily distinguished from other components of sexuality including biological sex, gender identity (the psychological sense of being male or female), and the social gender role (adherence to cultural norms for feminine and masculine behavior).

Sexual orientation exists along a continuum that ranges from exclusive heterosexuality to exclusive homosexuality and includes various forms of bisexuality. Bisexual persons can experience sexual, emotional, and affectional attraction to both their own sex and the opposite sex. Persons with a homosexual orientation are sometimes referred to as gay (both men and women) or as lesbian (women only).

Sexual orientation is different from sexual behavior because it refers to feelings and self-concept. Individuals may or may not express their sexual orientation in their behaviors.
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Heddi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-17-09 11:03 PM
Response to Reply #19
23. Oh sorry, I misunderstood what you wrote
but I agree with you completely! :cheers:
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FreeState Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-17-09 11:04 PM
Response to Reply #23
27.  :) N/T
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canetoad Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-17-09 11:58 PM
Response to Reply #19
38. Would it not follow then
Edited on Tue Feb-17-09 11:58 PM by canetoad
that a monogamous person, for the duration of a relationship with a person of either sex, could be called either homo or hetero-sexual?

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Heddi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 12:28 AM
Response to Reply #38
49. They can call themselves Sir Reginald Longpants for all I care
I suppose that I'm not one to get hung up on labels. Bi-hetero-homo-alloftheaboveo...who cares? If you're happy with what you're doing in life, and by another extent, the person(s) you're doing in life, what do I care? Why should anyone care?

Would it make a difference if I, a monogamous woman married to a man, called myself heterosexual, or lesbian? How would that make my relationship or my happiness any different? And why is it anyone's business? Why is our world crashing down, people are dying, and we're worried about what arbitrary label people use for sexual and intimate relationships? Please.
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comrade snarky Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 01:49 AM
Response to Reply #38
58. Not really
A person can be in any kind of relationship, that doesn't necessarily have to correspond to their orientation.

Straight, gay and bisexual are orientations, relationships on the other hand are behaviors. Ted Haggard is probably gay and being married to a woman wont change that. He'll still be more attracted to men than women. It's about identity as well and frankly gets kind of fluid and confusing for all involved.
Some mostly straight men will have sex with another man, doesn't mean they don't identify as straight and feel a much stronger attraction to women than men. May mean they have bi leaning and don't want to admit it though.

A monogamous relationship for a bisexual person can be straight or gay, whoever they happen to fall in love with. Bi just means you get a wider field to choose from. Being with one or the other wont change who you are attracted to when you see a hot *something* walking down the street in short shorts. :-)
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Chovexani Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 06:14 AM
Response to Reply #38
66. Do you stop being attracted to the appropriate gender when you settle down with someone?
Edited on Wed Feb-18-09 06:14 AM by Chovexani
Straight people don't stop being straight when they get into a monogamous relationship.

Bisexuality is about who you are capable of being physically and emotionally attracted to, not who or how many people you are currently fucking.

Seriously, this entire thread fails.

https://www.msu.edu/~alliance/faq/faqbisexuality.html
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GA_ArmyVet Donating Member (304 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 07:57 PM
Response to Reply #38
128. No more so than a homsexual who is married
to a woman is heterosexual..it is in the makeup of the person...in the end who cares really, its a label.
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Heddi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-17-09 10:54 PM
Response to Reply #8
14. more of a preference than a choice
being bisexual, I am equally attracted to males and females. Before I was married, I would date or have sex with whomever I preferred. Maybe I preferred the tall Pakistani male for a while. Then when he moved away, I preferred the spunky little blonde gal I worked with.

I am married to a male because I met and fell in love with my husband 11 years ago. He could have easily have been a woman that I fell in love with and decided to spend the rest of my life with. Just as he could have had blonde hair instead of brown, or been shorter instead of taller.
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Shakespeare Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-17-09 11:05 PM
Response to Reply #5
30. I strongly encourage you to look into Kinsey's groundbreaking research.
The crux of which is that sexuality is NOT an either/or proposition, but a spectrum across which we all fall.
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cliffordu Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-17-09 11:52 PM
Response to Reply #30
35. Yep - a spectrum.
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me b zola Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 01:44 AM
Response to Reply #35
57. spectrum, aye
Somewhere I am on that spectrum, I don't know exactly where and it doesn't bother me in the least that I don't know. I just know that I am me.
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Lyric Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 12:25 AM
Response to Reply #5
47. Then you're believing wrong.
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ZombieHorde Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-17-09 10:46 PM
Response to Original message
2. Call me new fangled, but I can't understand your post. nt
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hootinholler Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-17-09 10:47 PM
Response to Original message
4. Ohhh.
:popcorn:

-Hoot
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cliffordu Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-17-09 11:53 PM
Response to Reply #4
36. Can I have some of that???
:popcorn:
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The Straight Story Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-17-09 10:49 PM
Response to Original message
6. Some people only drink one flavor of alcohol, others like both beer and rum
:)
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FreeState Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-17-09 10:51 PM
Response to Reply #6
9. I'd say beer OR rum not "and" - some people might want both but Bisexuality
means you fall in love with members of either sex - it does not mean you must have both to be complete :)
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Cronus Protagonist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-17-09 10:53 PM
Response to Reply #6
12. I see lots of people with beer, sneaking out to have some rum
But none of them who like rum sneak out to have BEER, so what's with that?

(key: rum=gay, beer=straight)

lol
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grantcart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-17-09 10:52 PM
Response to Original message
10. Actually the older you get the easier it is to understand bye-sexuality!
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cliffordu Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 12:25 AM
Response to Reply #10
46. lol..... And the need for reading glasses, I guess....
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JackBeck Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-17-09 10:53 PM
Response to Original message
11. The only thing you need to understand
Is that what happens between two or more consenting adults is none of your business.
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Pryderi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-17-09 10:55 PM
Response to Reply #11
17. Agreed. I'm just trying to understand. n/t
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Heddi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 12:34 AM
Response to Reply #17
53. Understand what?
what is there to understand?

Explain to this group why YOU are hetero or homosexual. Don't just give the "well I love the person I'm with" or "i'm attracted to males" or "I'm attracted to females". EXPLAIN IT SO WE CAN UNDERSTAND

fer fuck's sake

Some people LOVE chocolate ice cream and just cannot enjoy vanilla ice cream AT ALL. No matter how much you try to get them to like it, they just don't like it. It doesn't taste good to them.

then

There are people who just LOOOOVE Vanilla ice cream and cannot stand the thought of chocolate ice cream. They don't even need to try it to be sure...they're adults and they KNOW that they DO NOT LIKE CHOCOLATE, they really really really like Vanilla.

then

There are people who LOVE vanilla. And they happen to LOVE chocolate. Sometimes they are exclusive partakers of vanilla. For years, or even decades, they just have vanilla ice cream. Or maybe they like chocolate and vanilla at the same time. Or maybe they don't mind a little chocolate every now and again, in addition to liking a little vanilla every now and again

Why are you not so BAFFLED and NEED TO UNDERSTAND someone's likes and dislikes of ice-cream, but the likes and dislikes of people's sexual attractions are just FUCKING MIND BLOWING OUT OF THIS WORLD HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU LIKE FUCKING MEN AND WOMEN???!?!?!?

sheesh. it's not as complicated a thought process as you're pretending it is
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cliffordu Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 12:20 AM
Response to Reply #11
44. ding ding ding, we have a winner!!!!
Yep.
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MajorChode Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 12:27 AM
Response to Reply #11
48. Unless the headboard it too close to the wall
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vanbean Donating Member (957 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 04:04 PM
Response to Reply #11
120. It is if you're one of them. Or if you're a busy-body.
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BlooInBloo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-17-09 10:55 PM
Response to Original message
16. The details of someone's johnson, hoohah, or both, and what they do with them...
Really aren't any of my business.
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Pryderi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-17-09 10:56 PM
Response to Reply #16
18. See #11 and #17. :)
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BlooInBloo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-17-09 10:58 PM
Response to Reply #18
20. I never understood how people can like ollives, personally....
Different strokes for different folks.
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Name removed Donating Member (0 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-17-09 11:00 PM
Response to Original message
21. Deleted message
Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.
 
bicentennial_baby Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-17-09 11:03 PM
Response to Reply #21
24. Enjoy your stay
:puke:
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FreeState Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-17-09 11:04 PM
Response to Reply #21
25. Its an orientation not a "lifestyle"
Edited on Tue Feb-17-09 11:05 PM by FreeState
Lifestyle would be the word the Religious Right uses as a talking point uses to try and make sexual orientation about choice and sex only - something it is not.

Weather one is committed to one person or not it does not change their sexual orientation. If you are bisexual and in a monogamous relationship with a member of the opposite sex your sexual orientation is still bisexual.
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vanbean Donating Member (957 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 04:10 PM
Response to Reply #25
121. Sexual orientation can change. Sometimes she likes it on top, and other times
we go on a mission.
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FreeState Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 04:44 PM
Response to Reply #121
123. Thats not sexual orientation
http://www.apahelpcenter.org/articles/article.php?id=31


What Is Sexual Orientation?

Sexual orientation is an enduring emotional, romantic, sexual, or affectional attraction toward others. It is easily distinguished from other components of sexuality including biological sex, gender identity (the psychological sense of being male or female), and the social gender role (adherence to cultural norms for feminine and masculine behavior).

Sexual orientation exists along a continuum that ranges from exclusive heterosexuality to exclusive homosexuality and includes various forms of bisexuality. Bisexual persons can experience sexual, emotional, and affectional attraction to both their own sex and the opposite sex. Persons with a homosexual orientation are sometimes referred to as gay (both men and women) or as lesbian (women only).

Sexual orientation is different from sexual behavior because it refers to feelings and self-concept. Individuals may or may not express their sexual orientation in their behaviors.
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Shakespeare Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-17-09 11:04 PM
Response to Reply #21
26. Fail. n/t
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libnnc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 12:04 AM
Response to Reply #21
42. most ignorant post of the evening.
goodbye.
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cliffordu Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 12:22 AM
Response to Reply #42
45. Maybe the most ignorant of the week.
And that's really saying something.
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lightningandsnow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 12:29 AM
Response to Reply #21
51. I'm at least somewhat polyamorous.
Therefore, your logic is FAIL.
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LeftyMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 12:39 AM
Response to Reply #21
55. What the hell?
1. One's sexuality has nothing to do with one's relationship status. I'm pretty damn happy in my relationship but I'm perfectly aware that other men exist, quite a few of them are hot, and I'm definitely sexually attracted to some of them. I'm jut not going to act on that awareness because that would be counterproductive to the health of my relationship, which I value. Likewise, being attracted to people of both genders doesn't change just because a person enters a long term relationship. Depending on the expectations of their relationship, they may or may not act on that attraction.

2. Not all people are monogamous, or desire to be.

3. Bisexuality isn't a lifestyle, it's an orientation. I have friends who are bi and are happily married in long-term monogamous relationships, and friends who are bi who are in stable poly relationships, friends who are bi who haven't been in any relationship for a while, and friends who are bi who get around quite a bit. There isn't a bisexual lifestyle any more than there's a gay one or a straight one. There's just people, living their lives.

4. If you don't know what you're talking about then shut the fuck up.
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Raster Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 01:55 AM
Response to Reply #21
59. Really?
:popcorn: This should be festive!
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mtnester Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 05:16 AM
Response to Reply #21
65. Wrong anwer
not a lifestyle, not a choice

I am betting this is something you will never understand, nor want to

Cya
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Chovexani Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 06:16 AM
Response to Reply #21
67. Stupidity is a lifestyle up until someone hits you with a clue bat
Then you commit to flouncing.
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DireStrike Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 09:13 AM
Response to Reply #21
75. This seems wrong to me.
When straight men get married, are we not still attracted to other women occasionally? Less so when you're in love, I'll admit.

But as another post recently pointed out, attraction is independent of how you choose to act.
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Political Heretic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-17-09 11:02 PM
Response to Original message
22. It's not about you understanding. It's about you staying the fuck out of individuals lives...
..whether you "understand" or not.
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scarletwoman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-17-09 11:04 PM
Response to Original message
28. Huh. That seems strange to me. I've always seen human sexuality as a continuum.
People fall on all parts of the continuum -- some farther out towards the poles, some farther in where the line gets blurry.

In my younger days at the height of the Sexual Revolution, lots of us got into threesomes and other configurations. I discovered I could be quite sexually turned on by women, and even ended up having some major crushes.

When you're open to erotic energy, it can come from both directions. I don't find bisexuality difficult to understand at all.

sw
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enlightenment Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-17-09 11:05 PM
Response to Original message
29. Pryderi, rather than thinking about sexuality as a
binary (either/or), see if it makes more sense to think of it as a continuum or grid (look here for a start on the subject here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heterosexual-homosexual_continuum or here: http://www.bisexual.org/klein.html )

There are far too many variables of human sexuality to limit it to an either/or proposition.
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Stevenmarc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-17-09 11:07 PM
Response to Original message
31. It's a sexual orientation and sexual identity thing
Orientation has to do with with who you are sexually attracted to and that can fall anywhere on the scale while identity really has to do with how you label yourself. So basically you might have a man that has primarily had sex with women with a smattering of sex with men along the way and that person would consider themselves straight but another person with a similar sexual history might label themselves bisexual.
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flvegan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-17-09 11:07 PM
Response to Original message
32. If you're not bisexual, it's not for you to "understand" I don't think.
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noamnety Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-17-09 11:12 PM
Response to Original message
33. This is really going to blow your mind, then
I have found I am attracted both to people with light hair, and people with dark hair. It's weird, it's almost like that detail about their anatomy isn't as important to me as their personality. (Crazy, I know.)
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lightningandsnow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-17-09 11:43 PM
Response to Original message
34. Um, what?
Like really, what's so hard to understand?

I like men and women. I get involved with people regardless of gender. What don't you understand?
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Iggo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-17-09 11:58 PM
Response to Original message
37. Here we go again.
:popcorn:
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Sebastian Doyle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 12:01 AM
Response to Original message
39. I don't believe anyone is 100% hetero or 100% homo.
Nor does that mean everyone is in the middle of the road. Some people might move one direction or the other on the "sliding scale" over the course of their lives.

Who knows why? Who cares why? It just is. And not a damn thing wrong with it in any case.
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originalpckelly Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 12:03 AM
Response to Original message
40. FACEPALM!
Not this shit again.
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Fovea Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 12:03 AM
Response to Original message
41. I am not clear on how you mean understand?
I like women.
There are also men i am attracted to.

I have slept with men.
I have slept with women.

Okay, it is maybe 20 to one.

But it is not the percentages.
It is the attraction.
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Bluebear Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 12:09 AM
Response to Original message
43. "I can understand transgenderism and homosexuality easier" - that doesn't sound good either.
You talk as if those too are "out there" for you, but you're willing to "understand" them?
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Runcible Spoon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 12:28 AM
Response to Original message
50. I like to fuck men AND women and I've been in love with both genders.
Edited on Wed Feb-18-09 12:29 AM by Runcible Spoon
Not a horribly difficult concept.

But then again, it's hard for me to comprehend the obsession with NASCAR so I guess we are all limited in some ways.
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Bluebear Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 07:53 PM
Response to Reply #50
127. :)
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Proud Liberal Dem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 12:30 AM
Response to Original message
52. What's your point exactly?
What's so hard to understand?
:shrug:

I'd be more than happy to try to explain it to you.

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Heddi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 12:38 AM
Response to Original message
54. Why do I find that MEN generally have the "I don't understand" posts about bisexuality?
Is it because they just CANNOT BELIEVE that all the chicks in the world aren't falling over their cocks like they cum gold coins and pink ponies? Because these bisexual chicks don't want some hot two-on-one action with you?

It never fails that ANY TIME a post about "I don't understand bisexuality" post is made on DU, it's ALWAYS made by a male. ALWAYS.

I've never had a female, in real life or otherwise, be so "confused" about bisexuality. Not even hard core straight as an arrow women.

But men...not all men...not even a large percentage of men....but there is a portion of the male population that is just BAFFLED by bisexuality. Granted, they also tend to be the ones (at least the ones I've encounterd in real life) that believe Lesbians would just go straight if they gave in and had 5 minutes with his PENIS OF THE WORLD...oh boy, would that rock THEIR FUCKING WORLD and they would never go back to the big V again....

Boys...can't live with 'em....oh wait....we can :D
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 03:50 AM
Response to Reply #54
61. LOL!
:applause:



:rofl:

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eShirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 07:03 AM
Response to Reply #61
68. oh! that had to hurt...
:evilgrin:
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Chovexani Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 04:14 AM
Response to Reply #54
64. Those men
Confuse Skinemax "bisexuality" with real bisexuality.

In the poly community we call this HBB Syndrome (Hot Bi Babe).
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Lost in CT Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 08:25 AM
Response to Reply #64
70. I personally welcome our hot bi babe overlords. nt
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Chovexani Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 10:34 AM
Response to Reply #70
84. We're still not interested in you
Sorry. :(
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Lost in CT Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 10:45 AM
Response to Reply #84
87. If you were interested in me you wouldn't be overlords now would you?
Anywho... Overall I have found bi-sexual woman to be very pleasant company and partners... despite the fact my ex-wife was one of them.
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bluedawg12 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 11:53 AM
Response to Reply #87
96. Sounds like a personal problem to me.
despite the fact that your ex-wife was one of them.
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Lost in CT Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 11:56 AM
Response to Reply #96
97. Nothing personal about it... really not on the radar is all.
Honestly people who are intensely interested in their own and others sexual orientation seem to be the strange ones to me.


Who you are attracted to is hardly the most interesting thing about a person.

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Pryderi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 12:27 PM
Response to Reply #54
99. Heddi, Isnt' it better that I search for an understanding about sexuality rather than reject and
Edited on Wed Feb-18-09 12:27 PM by Pryderi
persecute people for their sexuality?

I don't believe that my cock cums gold coins and pink ponies. Nor do I believe that bi-chicks have pussies full of flannel shirts, motorcycles and beer.

I don't believe that I can convert lesbians and never have. Do you believe you can convert straight women with your PUSSY OF THE PLANET?





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Heddi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 04:18 PM
Response to Reply #99
122. Oh please
So in order not to reject and persecute, you have to understand? Do you "understand" people of another race enough to not persecute and reject them?

And I don't believe I ever stated or implied that I have a pussy of the planet (even if I do), and I assure you that straight women are the *last* women I would ever be interested in. Just like I can't understand how a 30 year old teacher can get it on repeatedly with a 13 year old student. To me, there is nothing sexy in the inhibitions and lack of experience one finds with someone who is "just experimenting" or "barely has pubic hairs." But that's just me.

I just find it odd that every post on DU about "I don't understand/get bisexuality" is started by males that, throughout the course of the discussion, seem to admit in one way or another that the 'misunderstanding' on their part stems from the fact that they 'misunderstand' how all of these bisexual chicks don't want to get it on with them singularly or even more frequently, they 'misunderstand' how all of these bisexual chicks don't want to get it on with them, and bring a few of their equally bisexual chick friends along for the fun. Strange, that.

See, I don't need to "understand" the intimate details of what a person does in the privacy of their own bedroom, and what kind of people they do it with, how many people at a time they do it with, and what interesting household objects they do it with, in order not to (in your words) "reject and persecute" those people.

See, I'm a normal human being, and that means that I can accept people for whatever or whomever they are. I don't need deep understanding of their personal life in order not to go killing them, or spray painting hate messages on their house, or burning them at the stake. But, like i said, I'm a normal human being. your mileage may vary in that area.
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Pryderi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 06:47 PM
Response to Reply #122
126. Acceptance and Understanding. Are they the same?
I don't have to "understand" people in order not to persecute or reject them. I don't care what people do in their bedroom as long as it's between 2 consensual adults. I accept who they are, but I was striving for understanding. As I've already posted the spectrum of sexuality and attraction, rather than the "either/or" construct that I've had in my mind, has led me to understand bisexuality.

You were the one making assumptions about me because of my OP. What I did was turn the accusations you made about me, against you.

Why do you assume that I want to have a 3way with bisexual women?
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ismnotwasm Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 01:30 AM
Response to Original message
56. Oh dear.
Well there's probably a little bi in most of us.
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TexasObserver Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 03:42 AM
Response to Original message
60. Your OP has a very negative implication.
Your tone is clearly disdainful of bisexuality. Let's take a look at the comments that are implicit in your post, in addition to those you reveal (in Andrew Dice Clay speak):

Come on! Pick one! What's it gonna be?! Choose one!

What is it about bisexuality that you find so difficult to grasp? Is this thread anything more than your reaction to the thought of bisexuality from your personal perspective? Is this thread just you thinking "ewwwwwwwwwwwww" about having sex with a member of your own gender?

Words matter, and when you swing one like a mace, you have to know how and why you're using it thusly.
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rebecca_herman Donating Member (494 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 04:00 AM
Response to Original message
62. Another one
Asexuality, I've wondered about this one myself but in the end am not sure cause my hormones are screwed up from so many damn medications. (I do have romantic/emotional attraction, but that doesn't lead me to want sex with the person) Anyone I tried discussing it with - I wonder if I could be asexual - looked at me like I grew another head and was all "WTF is that? How can a person who wants sex with neither gender exist?"
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Name removed Donating Member (0 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 04:06 AM
Response to Original message
63. Deleted sub-thread
Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.
 
Solon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 08:16 AM
Response to Original message
69. WTF?
Seriously, the only reasonable response to your OP is simply, WTF, as in WTF are you thinking, what the fuck is your malfunction, etc. etc. etc.
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AB_Positive Donating Member (151 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 08:42 AM
Response to Original message
71. The part I found odd with this post is...
understanding trans but *not* bi? I've found that my bretheren usually get the short stick when "understanding" is bandied about - partly for good reason. How do you describe to someone that knows they're the right gender that you aren't?

But I always figured bisexuality was easy to get. "I think both genders are sexy". Done.

I'm confused by the OP. :D
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WritingIsMyReligion Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 09:08 AM
Response to Original message
72. Understanding FAIL, apparently.
What is there to understand? For some people, gender is not as important a part of sexual attraction--they find men and women sexually attractive.
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HarukaTheTrophyWife Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 09:10 AM
Response to Reply #72
73. One would think it'd be simple, but no
Even my mom sort of gets it, and she's a lunatic.
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WritingIsMyReligion Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 09:14 AM
Response to Reply #73
76. My mother calls it "that bisexuality shit" and thinks Kinsey's research is utter bogus.
Then again, she also thinks homosexuals have "hard lives" and says that she "pities" them, even as she's friends with many lesbians. She doesn't believe that sexual orientation is a choice or any of that crock of shit, but she does think that it's something akin to a horrible burden that people must carry.

Hurrah ignorance.

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DireStrike Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 09:16 AM
Response to Reply #76
77. Wait, what?
Isn't the lack of acceptance by society a burden?
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WritingIsMyReligion Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 09:19 AM
Response to Reply #77
78. No, it is, but she acts as if there is nothing redeeming at all in being gay.
No joys to it, nothing, it's just this pitiable state of existence. She said she hoped I wasn't gay because it would make my life difficult. Patronizing to the nth degree.

I don't see being gay as a condition worthy of pity; it's worthy of respect and honor, the same as any other sexual orientation or genetic trait.
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DireStrike Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 09:26 AM
Response to Reply #78
82. Oh, I see.
I can kind of see where she's coming from, as I don't particularly value genetic traits, orientations, or other such things. I don't feel I have any admirable un-chosen qualities. I like to think I'm smart, but the world likes to knock me on my ass when I think that. :7

If that were the case with her, the negatives would outweigh the positives that she can't see, when she considers such a state of being.
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HarukaTheTrophyWife Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 09:20 AM
Response to Reply #76
79. My mom is well, slowly improving
She was crazy and thought it was a choice, but the joke was on her. She found out her best friend (a RC priest) was gay. That changed her viewpoint a lot, plus she loves LostinVA.
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DireStrike Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 09:10 AM
Response to Original message
74. Good thing you don't have to understand it
Seriously, what's there to understand? You're attracted to who you're attracted to - end of story. Nobody else gets a say.
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datasuspect Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 09:21 AM
Response to Original message
80. i understand my balls
and that's pretty much it.
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last_texas_dem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-19-09 11:58 PM
Response to Reply #80
140. I don't even understand my balls
Why so unnecessarily hairy, balls?
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bunnies Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 09:21 AM
Response to Original message
81. Oh noes! You dont understand us!! However will we sleep at night?!
:banghead: Fool.
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Pryderi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 10:31 AM
Response to Original message
83. I apologize if I offended anyone. I also thank the people that helped enlighten me, rather than
bashing/flaming me.

The spectrum theory of sexuality is the best explanation and has helped me understand that sexuality is not an "either/or" proposition.

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Chovexani Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 10:38 AM
Response to Reply #83
85. In the future if you don't want to be flamed
Edited on Wed Feb-18-09 10:41 AM by Chovexani
Try asking a sincere question in a non-inflammatory fashion instead of making what amounts to a borderline bigoted call out. Bisexuals have a hard enough time in our daily lives that we really don't want to fucking deal with the unsolicited opinions of ignorant straight people. I don't understand why the fuck there is this segment of militant straights on DU that constantly feel the need to pontificate from their ass on about LGBT people, like their opinion from high atop Mt. Privilege means anything.

You're fortunate you pulled this shit in here and not GLBT, where more people would have called you on that instead of taking pity and coddling you (and the thread would have subsequently been locked).
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Pryderi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 10:42 AM
Response to Reply #85
86. It was a clumsy post on my part. I've got a cold and Nyquil buzzed my brain.
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bluedawg12 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 11:49 AM
Response to Reply #86
94. Call me old fashioned but calling out other people's sexuality
and then using the Nyquil dodge makes me wonder why people post when they're impaired?
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Chovexani Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-19-09 11:36 PM
Response to Reply #94
138. This seems to be the fad excuse for blatant fail and stupid lately
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datasuspect Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 10:54 AM
Response to Original message
88. this thread reminds me of the advice column blurb i noticed today:
"Self-centered, intense and touchy people are often insensitive in their actions but sensitive in their reactions."
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last_texas_dem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-19-09 03:50 PM
Response to Reply #88
137. That would make for a good DU:GD motto.
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slackmaster Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 10:55 AM
Response to Original message
89. I think true bisexuals are rare
In my 51 years of experience, I think I've met only about four or five of them. (One was a supervisor of mine.)
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HarukaTheTrophyWife Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 11:32 AM
Response to Reply #89
92. What's a "true bisexual?"
I wouldn't say they're rare.
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slackmaster Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 12:58 PM
Response to Reply #92
100. I define it as someone who is attracted to both genders, actively seeks sex with both genders
And achieves it.
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HarukaTheTrophyWife Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 01:27 PM
Response to Reply #100
102. I don't think they're that rare
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Greyskye Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 01:29 PM
Response to Reply #100
103. so according to you, bi=promiscuous?

Wow. Just wow.

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Lilith Velkor Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 02:36 PM
Response to Reply #103
105. I interpreted it as bi=unattractive
which also warrants a "wow just wow."
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slackmaster Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 03:01 PM
Response to Reply #103
114. No, my answer was quite clear
And you are being intentionally obtuse.
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Greyskye Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 03:14 PM
Response to Reply #114
115. Yes, your answer WAS quite clear. Not in the way you think though.
"I define it as someone who is attracted to both genders, actively seeks sex with both genders... And achieves it."

I've known a lot more bi people than your self described "four or five of them". :eyes: (By the way, you know a lot more than that. They simply aren't 'out' to you, for very obvious reasons.)

Your description implies, no... explicitly states that bisexuals are "actively" seeking sex with both genders. And achieving it. Gee, that sure sounds identical to saying "Jennifer is attracted to blonds, brunettes, and redheads, actively seeks sex with people of all hair colors... and achieves it." There are a number of terms for people who engage in such behavior, 'promiscuous' being one of the mildest.

If that's not what you meant, you need to rephrase your answer.
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slackmaster Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 03:52 PM
Response to Reply #115
117. I'm terribly sorry that the word "them" offended you
Edited on Wed Feb-18-09 04:15 PM by slackmaster
Not.

:eyes:

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Greyskye Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 04:57 PM
Response to Reply #117
124. Wow, way to COMPLETELY miss the point.
When in doubt; obfuscate, obfuscate, obfuscate.



Out of my entire post, you chose to respond to a minor tertiary aside, which itself was only indicated by an italicizing of your own words.

So sorry that you're incapable of cogent thought.
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slackmaster Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-19-09 02:19 PM
Response to Reply #124
129. You started the missing of points by completely misinterpreting my initial reply
I make a distinction between true, practicing bisexuals and the merely "bi curious".

And I am truly not sorry if that offends anyone. I've probably had 100 self-identified homosexuals (meaning exclusively homosexual) come out to me for each of the few bisexuals who have divulged that trait to me. I was just contributing my own personal honest observation, and at least two people got their panties or boxers in a wad by completely misinterpreting what I wrote.

I don't give a flying fuck about anyone's sexual orientation, and being bisexual or homosexual or whatever does not give one license to act like a dickhead. Feel free to disclose whatever you want about your own personal behavior to me, but don't expect my opinion of you to change as a result.
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Greyskye Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-19-09 02:33 PM
Response to Reply #129
132. Nice backpedaling

This is the first time you've used the term 'bi-curious'. And your post referring to 'true bisexuals' makes more sense now that you've added that distinction.

The post you made that got my 'boxers in a wad' as you so elegantly put it, was where you made a comment that I interpreted as meaning that bisexuals were basically sluts. I made an analogy using hair color as opposed to genders to demonstrate my point, which evidently flew so far over your head that you still haven't noticed or commented on it.

And for your information, not that it's any of your business, I identify myself as straight. I have, however, been romantically involved with a number of women who are bi; and felt that your characterization of them as sluts was beyond the pale.

Don't expect my opinion of you to change either. If you're not capable of posting with clarity, don't whine when you get called out on it.
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slackmaster Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-19-09 02:38 PM
Response to Reply #132
133. I've had enough of your bullshit drama
Have a nice day.
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Greyskye Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-19-09 02:45 PM
Response to Reply #133
134. Good to know you consider bisexuals to be sluts.
I'll make sure and keep that in mind in the future.

(Now that's drama. See the difference?)

Have a nice life.
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FreeState Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 05:02 PM
Response to Reply #100
125. Your definition is flawed and incorrect
The American Psychological Association defines sexual orientation as:

http://www.apahelpcenter.org/articles/article.php?id=31

What Is Sexual Orientation?

Sexual orientation is an enduring emotional, romantic, sexual, or affectional attraction toward others. It is easily distinguished from other components of sexuality including biological sex, gender identity (the psychological sense of being male or female), and the social gender role (adherence to cultural norms for feminine and masculine behavior).

Sexual orientation exists along a continuum that ranges from exclusive heterosexuality to exclusive homosexuality and includes various forms of bisexuality. Bisexual persons can experience sexual, emotional, and affectional attraction to both their own sex and the opposite sex. Persons with a homosexual orientation are sometimes referred to as gay (both men and women) or as lesbian (women only).

Sexual orientation is different from sexual behavior because it refers to feelings and self-concept. Individuals may or may not express their sexual orientation in their behaviors.
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Starbucks Anarchist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 02:38 PM
Response to Reply #92
106. They get a toaster *and* the chef knife.
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HarukaTheTrophyWife Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 02:47 PM
Response to Reply #106
108. I already have both and I'm not bisexual
Of course, I'm not allowed to touch the knife anymore.

LostinVA is mean to me.
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Starbucks Anarchist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 02:49 PM
Response to Reply #108
109. Hey, you had it coming.
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HarukaTheTrophyWife Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 02:53 PM
Response to Reply #109
110. Last night, I was loading the dishwasher and she SCREAMS from the next room
"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST PUT IN THE DISHWASHER?"

I'm like, "It was a silicone spatula," and goes goes, "oh, okay" all quiet and goes back to reading her book.

THIS is what I have to put up with.
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Starbucks Anarchist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 02:55 PM
Response to Reply #110
111. So she's Felix and you're Oscar?
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HarukaTheTrophyWife Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 02:57 PM
Response to Reply #111
112. Oddly enough, I'm the one who goes on deranged cleaning frenzies
But when it comes to knives, she's definitely Felix.
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TrogL Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 02:58 PM
Response to Reply #106
113. There's no such thing as a "chef knife"
Chefs use a variety of knives. They carry them around in a large custom-made bag.

The most commonly used knife is the "French knife".
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KamaAina Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 03:58 PM
Response to Reply #106
118. It was a toaster *oven*
:P
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Strong Atheist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 11:08 AM
Response to Original message
90. As a famous person that I don't like said:
It doubles your chances of getting a date on satruday night...
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xchrom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 11:24 AM
Response to Original message
91. i'm never in the right thread at the right time.
the popcorn is stale.
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bluedawg12 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 11:45 AM
Response to Original message
93. Call me old fashioned but heterosexuals
who don't understand other forms of human sexuality and seem to call out one or other of those groups are
:boring:

And frequently offensive to the group they seem to want to discuss.

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cherokeeprogressive Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 11:52 AM
Response to Original message
95. Why do you feel the NEED to understand?
Maybe it's not FOR you to understand. I didn't ask my daughter why she's gay, I'd never ask her why she wanted to have gender reassignment surgery, and I would never question her on her bisexuality, if that's what she claimed. I'd just go with it and flow with it.

Would that EVERYONE could do that.
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Pryderi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 12:01 PM
Response to Reply #95
98. Because I don't want to be ignorant.
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cherokeeprogressive Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 01:15 PM
Response to Reply #98
101. Understanding isn't as important as acceptance in instances like these.
Why you even care is beyond me.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-19-09 02:46 PM
Response to Reply #98
135. i think you enjoy your ignorance and use words like old fashioned to justify them. nt
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LeftHander Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 02:01 PM
Response to Original message
104. I am not an "ism"....nt
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TrogL Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 02:47 PM
Response to Original message
107. I am equally attracted to and have had committed relationships both sexes
...or at worse I have "gay days" and "straight days", rarely consecutively.

How's that difficult to understand?

(Oh, and I don't look good in fishnet stockings (deep inside joke (pun intended))).

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CraftyGal Donating Member (602 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 03:23 PM
Response to Original message
116. I have this argument with both heteros and the gay community.
In the '80s I was very active with feminism and worked at a Women's Centre. It was very fulfilling both mental and emotionally. However when I disclosed that I was bisexual, I got asked by the primarily homosexual staff and board members why I was on the fence? I love sex with both sexes, what is wrong with that? I have had some very serious relationships with both men and women, even got married a couple of times, with a divorce.

I am happy these days because my husband gets me and that is because he is also bi. I always believe it was a "choice" like anything else. Now I realize that it is just who I am. My daughter has also come out as being bisexual and she is currently in a relationship with a man. In fact she is the age that I was when I entered into my first poly relationship.

Just to clarify Polyamory doesn't mean bisexuality. According to the Polyamory Society"Polyamory is the nonpossessive, honest, responsible and ethical philosophy and practice of loving multiple people simultaneously. Polyamory emphasizes consciously choosing how many partners one wishes to be involved with rather than accepting social norms which dictate loving only one person at a time. Polyamory is an umbrella term which integrates traditional mutipartner relationship terms with more evolved egalitarian terms."

i loved both people equally and it was very beautiful. The wife finally came out as being a lesbian, which she had been denying for quite sometime. I know that because she hated her husband or any other male touching her. We broke it off as I ma bisexual and she was not very accepting of that. Her husband has since remarried and is quite happy.

CraftyGal
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KamaAina Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-18-09 03:59 PM
Response to Original message
119. As Woody Allen once put it, bisexuality doubles your chance of getting a date on Saturday night.
Tough to argue with that. :-)
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-19-09 02:20 PM
Response to Original message
130. cant i just call you an idiot?
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lies and propaganda Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-19-09 02:33 PM
Response to Original message
131. um... wow.
flamebait.

There isnt even a direction to start in that wont lead to a locked thread.
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Control-Z Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-19-09 03:38 PM
Response to Original message
136. I have a philosophy
that most people are probably bisexual, to some degree. I don't think it is as much about gender as it is about sexuality and the capacity to love. I may be way off base, and projecting my own experience. But given the right circumstance with a person one truly trusts, sexuality can be expressed with either gender. I also believe that most of us have ultimately a stronger attraction towards one or the other, and define ourselves by that.
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NMMNG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-19-09 11:57 PM
Response to Original message
139. Uh-huh
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