American taste for soft toilet roll 'worse than driving Hummers'

[Thickasabrick]

The tenderness of the delicate American buttock is causing more environmental devastation than the country's love of gas-guzzling cars, fast food or McMansions, according to green campaigners. At fault, they say, is the US public's insistence on extra-soft, quilted and multi-ply products when they use the bathroom.

"This is a product that we use for less than three seconds and the ecological consequences of manufacturing it from trees is enormous," said Allen Hershkowitz, a senior scientist at the Natural Resources Defence Council.

"Future generations are going to look at the way we make toilet paper as one of the greatest excesses of our age. Making toilet paper from virgin wood is a lot worse than driving Hummers in terms of global warming pollution." Making toilet paper has a significant impact because of chemicals used in pulp manufacture and cutting down forests.

A campaign by Greenpeace seeks to raise consciousness among Americans about the environmental costs of their toilet habits and counter an aggressive new push by the paper industry giants to market so-called luxury brands.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2009/feb/26/toilet-roll-america

[LynzM]

1. Can I just say...

We use single-ply, recycled stuff from CVS, and it does the job just fine?

:banghead:

[Arkansas Granny]

56. I've been using one made by White Cloud that is called "Green Earth".

It says it's 100% recycled fibers and I find it to be quite adequate.

[lonestarnot]

2. I think about this every time I wipe my ass.

But what is the alternative, sore ass?

[Initech]

3. Remember the three sea shells from Demolition Man?

Guess that's the alternative. :rofl:

[lonestarnot]

21. No, but sound sandy.

eeeewwweeee.

[SmileyRose]

4. Who was the actress who told us we should confine ourselves to a single sheet per visit?

I want to say it was Sheryl Crow.


edit - oh duh, Sheryl Crow is a singer ......OK famous person, not actress........

[Control-Z]

18. It was Cameron Diaz n/t

[TahitiNut]

Corncobs still work just fine.

:hide:

[SmileyRose]

14. good luck grabbing some before it gets turned into ethanol.

or dog food.........

[Jamastiene]

5. Can't they use promiscuous wood?

:shrug:

:hide:

[NeedleCast]

6. You know what, I'm willing to do a lot for the environment

but good TP is not something I'm giving up.

[Born_A_Truman]

13. I'm with you!

Sorry. Not giving up 2-ply at my age. :blush:

[leftstreet]

7. "Once I did wipe me with a gentlewoman's velvet mask

...and found it to be good; for the softness of the silk was very voluptuous and pleasant to my fundament. Another time with one of their hoods, and in like manner that was comfortable; at another time with a lady's neckerchief, and after that some ear-pieces made of crimson satin; but there was such a number of golden spangles in them that they fetched away all the skin off my tail with a vengeance."

[marmar]

8. I must admit.....I'm a major culprit when it comes to this.

But what can I say, mon derriere loves the feel of Quilted Northern.

[RebelOne]

37. So am I. Can't stand the cheap scratchy stuff. n/t

[flvegan]

9. I bought a ShamWow to replace the $20/month I was spending on paper towels.

I'm halfway there. Or something.

[Alcibiades]

17. That's a great idea!

[NeedleCast]

20. I LOL'ed

[lonestarnot]

23. OMG! Peed! Shamwow!

[lonestarnot]

25. Kid just peed too!

And he's sending it to all of his high school buddies. What is it about this shamwow dude... they love him. :D

[leftstreet]

26. ROFL

:spray:

[GiveMeFreedom]

29. LOL

Great parody.

[a la izquierda]

48. Coffee meet keyboard.

Is that shamwow made in Germany too? :rofl: :spray:

[Alcibiades]

50. Ja, natürlich.

I must admit, though, that I find this kind of commercial less annoying than the soft sell commercials where they make it seem as if their corporation cares about you. Shamwow is honest: we are trying to sell you some towels because we know you're a fucking messy slob who spills shit all over the place.

For the record, it's true: the Germans do make good stuff.

And if you like Shamwow, you're going to love my nuts.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0cgQkT4ScQ

[lonestarnot]

22. Shamwow!

:rofl:

[malaise]

42. ROFL

:rofl: :rofl:

[L0oniX]

68. You mean ButtWow???

[originalpckelly]

10. What about disposable adult wet wipes?

[msongs]

11. how bout making it with recycled newspaper? that's in huge surplus

since recycling has tanked except for aluminum and some plastics

Msongs

[scrinmaster]

12. I try to take a dump just before I take a shower.

Wiping with dry paper really can't get you as clean.

[progressive_realist]

34. I thought I was the only American who thought this.

Didn't the French invent something just for this purpose...

[40ozDonkey]

39. Yeah, the bidet, but now they barely use the shower, so...

Ahhhhh I love the French, I kid the French.

[Control-Z]

15. I use twice the amount

of single ply than I do when using 2 ply. Either way, it is as much as is necessary to wipe my parts while keeping my hand relatively clean. Of course, I could use less TP and then use 20 times the amount of water scrubbing my filthy hands.

We can plant trees. We can't plant water.

[RobinA]

54. I Think

the point has to do with the manufacture of the soft kind, not its actual use, so using twice as much one ply isn't going be a problem.

[Mist]

16. After many years of renting from landlords who feared plumbing repairs, I'm fully

adjusted to single-ply. Anything else seems decadent.

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

19. Go ahead. Cuff me. Guilty.

[Maru Kitteh]

24. I'm not going to shove wood chips into my anal sphincter for the planet

I recycle, like, EVERYTHING. I garden. I walk to school and the store 90% of the time. I don't eat meat. We plan to install solar this year, and have plans for residential wind.

I draw the line at TP that hurts. Can't do it.

[DianeG5385]

27. Old fashioned Scott tissue

More on the roll, not so soft.

[bullwinkle428]

55. Second the vote for Scott toilet tissue!

:thumbsup:

[japple]

69. Kroger's 1000 sheets is about the same as Scott tissue

and is a bit cheaper, too.

[frylock]

28. leaves work fine..

check for midges, mites, or aphids. kirk out.

[aquart]

32. And be real clear about the shape of a poison ivy leaf.

As some I knew were not.

[doc03]

30. The stuff they use in commercial buildings that

comes in like 10" diameter rolls, about 2 1/2" wide that you can see through should be banned period.

[Zhade]

31. Give me a way not to get shit on my fingers and I'm down.

I don't use 1-ply for a reason.

Sorry to be crude, but...

[GiveMeFreedom]

33. Chuck Norris Toilet Paper

Rough and tough and don't take shit off nobody. Rinse and repeat as necessary, your mileage may very.

[On the Road]

35. R Crumb Begs to Differ:

[kiva]

36. At the bottom of the article...

Dixon said the company used products from sustainbly farmed forests in Canada.

So sustainably farmed forests are 'virgin wood'? OK, maybe they aren't exactly slutty woods, but virgin?

[Lost in CT]

47. Greenpeace seems a touch unclear on the whole trees grow back concept.

Trees are a crop like any other. It's not like we are cutting down redwoods or rainforests to make snuggle soft double-ply.

[Lost in CT]

38. You will take my toilet paper from my cold dead hands...

That said I notice that a certain sex I shall not name is the main culprit here. And it cotton balls are bad for the environment that certain sex (again unnamed) is definitely destroying the planet.

[pnutbutr]

40. I use pinecones

[Dorian Gray]

41. LOL

I actually don't use soft toilet tissue. I use Scott, as it is less likely to clog the low flows that are so prevalent these days.

And I prefer it.

[LanternWaste]

43. I never realized this as a problem...

I never realized this as a problem, however may have to reevaluate my position on this and begin using a more environmentally friendly product.

I'd hate to consider my self a person who picks merely the most convenient aspects of it, and ignore the ones that force me to sacrifice comfort. I imagine if I did that, I'd be little more than a hypocrite at best.

[cobalt1999]

44. Too many people consuming too much per person.

The problem isn't what humans are wiping their asses with, it's how many human asses there are to be wiped.

[ThomWV]

45. I always thought of it as a renewable resource

It is possible to grow replacement trees, as far as I know.

[Stevenmarc]

46. One word TOTO

Best thing I ever installed in the house

http://www.totousa.com/Default.aspx?tabid=114

[NuttyFluffers]

49. zOMG!!!1!!1!!!ELEVEN! that stuff is WONDERFUL!

they also have several Korean manufacturers as well for these things. Daelim is a pretty popular manufacturer. love it, love it, love it! i use less toilet paper, and i feel so fresh, so clean, just like an Outkast song! they should be everywhere!

[Contrary1]

66. I especially like this feature:

"Adjustable Spray with Precision Positioning"

:evilgrin:

[goclark]

72. How much are they?

I just got a new toilet and I could have gotten this instead.

[Raskolnik]

51. From my cold, dead hand!

I mean, hopefully not, but still.

[Bill McBlueState]

52. Don't we have a rule about poop threads? n/t

[Ikonoklast]

58. Yes. The first rule of Poop Threads is...

You never talk about Poop Threads.

The second rule about Poop Threads is...

[AlCzervik]

53. I recycle, i drive a small car, i hardly ever turn the heat on, no you cannot have my Charmin Blue

no you can't.

[TheCoxwain]

57. You should install one of these .. they are pricey .. but you wont need any more rolls

.. and let me know how it goes


http://www.washlet.com/

[riverdeep]

62. That's one disturbing intro.

Bidet's do cut down on paper waste, and someone who I met once said "if you got it on your hand, would you rather wash it off with a paper towel or water?"

[leftofthedial]

59. they can kiss my delicate buttock

(but only if they use an emollient on their lips first)

[Ohio Joe]

60. I don't care

I will and have given up a lot of things but I am not giving up my toilet paper.

[zagging]

61. This solution is super-green

http://www.sacred-texts.com/isl/bukhari/bh1/bh1_158.htm

[riverdeep]

63. The problem with campaigns like this,

is it makes environmentalists an easy target for ridicule. Is this the biggest culprit right now? No, then focus on what is and when you gain some traction, go back to this as part of a larger policy. Call it 'managing household disposables' or something. I guarantee all this will do is wind up on the monologue of Letterman or Leno.

[Vinca]

64. I have my limits.

Leave my Charmin alone.

[Radical Activist]

65. Autos are the second largest source of man-made CO2 emissions.

So I find the statement that toilet paper is more damaging to be fucking idiotic. This spokesperson should spare me the dramatic exaggerations next time.

[a la izquierda]

67. Without sounding like a sanctimonious prick...

we use 100%recycled TP in our house. It's perfectly fine on our behinds.

But I have to say, I want that bidet that they had on the Simpsons, when they went to Japan. The water was multicolored and the toilet talked to them.

[GreenPartyVoter]

70. Industrialize hemp already, then. Come on Mr. President. You know you want to do it.

[mockmonkey]

71. The Question needs to be asked...

Why are these Americans eating toilet paper?