My son gets free lunch.

[Lyric]

I got free lunch. My brother and sister got free lunch. My nieces and nephews get free lunch. My family is poor, and we have always been so. I am the first of my family to get a high school diploma. I am the first to attend college, and someday I'll be the first to go to grad school. My Mom, sister, and young nephews live in a shack in the woods of rural West Virginia that's covered in tar paper and shingles, and is heated by a single pot-bellied wood stove that sits in the middle of the house. I get Food Stamps and Medicaid, but not a welfare check, because in order to get cash help, I'd have to drop out of college and get some dead-end minimum wage job. I know poverty, and I know the free lunch program from deep, longstanding personal experience.

The free breakfasts and lunches we got at school we the best meals we had all day. Dinner was whatever Mom could put together; generic mac and cheese (usually made with water instead of milk) was a staple. Fresh vegetables and fruit were a laugh; we got them only during the summertime, when extended relatives would give us extra stuff from their gardens. We couldn't have a garden, because we lived in a trailer park, and we were forbidden to dig in what little yard we had by the management, so as not to accidentally damage a shallow cable or telephone line.

If not for those free meals, I don't know how we would have made it. In the summer, our "lunch" (if we got one at all) consisted of a mayonnaise sandwich, rarely with some sliced cucumber added if my aunt had been over to drop off some of her produce. Breakfast was ignored completely; we just didn't talk about it. We kids learned fast that mentioning food or hunger meant watching Mom try not to cry. So we didn't.

Right now, I don't pay federal income taxes because I don't make enough to pay them. But if and when I ever do, I can promise you that begrudging poor kids their free meals at school would be the absolute LAST thing I would ever, ever do. It was hard enough to have a "pink" lunch card rather than a "blue" one--the pink ones denoted free lunch students, and everybody knew it. It was hard enough to stand in line in front of all the kids who ridiculed and tormented us day after day about our shabby clothes, unstyled home-cut hair, our falling-apart backpacks, our too-small coats and shoes. If, on top of everything else, we had been singled out to receive a different lunch than everyone else just because our parents couldn't pay, the hurt would have been magnified even more. I was nearly suicidal by age eleven anyway, from the stress of growing up in that kind of extreme poverty. I didn't know it at the time, but the fact that I slept every minute that I wasn't at school, cried all night, and starting writing out my "will" before my twelfth birthday...those were signs of clinical depression. It's a miracle that I survived with my psyche intact.

You would not believe how vicious kids can be to those who are deemed "inferior," whether the inferiority is because the kid is too fat/thin, too poor, too ugly, too smelly, too smart, and so on. But the worst cruelty was always saved for the fat kids and the poor kids. I remember a boy named Tim who made it a point to spill his chocolate milk on my lunch tray at least once a week, just so he could make some smart-ass comment like, "Ooops! Sorry about that. You can always go buy another lunch. Oh wait! No, you can't, 'cause your parents are loser poor people and too lazy to get jobs. It's too bad the lunch ladies don't take Food Stamps, huh?" Other times, a different little sadist named Jeff would deliberately sneeze/spit on my food. Everyone would laugh, and point, and giggle, and whisper. Humiliation after humiliation...and the fact is, losing that lunch *was* a tragedy, because I had no way to get another. That was one less meal a day for me. School is a nightmare for poor kids. Singling them out because their parents haven't done the paperwork is just fucking wrong.

Some say that there's no excuse for poor people not filling out the free lunch forms. Oh really? Did you know that the illiteracy rate within the impoverished community is astronomical? Do you realize that in order for a Food Stamp family to get free lunch, they must provide their Food Stamp case number on the form--something not always easy to dig up? Do you realize that a lot of these kids are from immigrant families, many of whom are not legal, and most of whom do not speak or read English very well? Did you know that the forms only go home once a year, unless specifically requested, and poor people often don't have phones to call and make the request? Do you really think that there's NO reason other than laziness why a needy family has not filled out that paperwork?

Do you realize how many of these families are non-white? And how prevalent the incidence of lactose intolerance is within racial minorities? Do you realize how many schools can't offer peanut butter as a substitute, because peanut butter has been BANNED from school grounds due to kids with allergies? It's not as cut-and-dried as so many of you seem to think, truly.

We all have our anecdotal stories. Some of you say that when your kids are given the "different" lunch, it's no big deal. Well here's some news for you--for every story like YOURS, there is another like MINE. This isn't about the fact that your kids aren't being tormented. It's about the fact that other kids ARE. They need our help, and we want to quibble about bureaucratic bullshit and "fairness."

It comes down to this. We should not punish children because their parents are "unworthy," or illiterate, or confused by the paperwork, or forgetful, or poor, or anything else. Singling them out for a "special" lunch IS punishment. When added to everything else that poor kids go through, it is magnified far beyond what it would be if the cheese sandwich lunch was the only problem.

We can afford to feed our kids. Considering the discount that the government gets for bulk food purchases, we can ALSO afford to spare the lunches for the kids whose parents cannot afford to pay the bill. The school cafeteria should not be used to reinforce the "Some people are inferior and should be treated as such" Republican platform.

Flame as you will, but before I end this, I also want to say--thank you, those of you who pay taxes. You help my family enormously, and we are grateful. Someday I will pay it forward, so to speak, but until then, I really am appreciative of the help we get. It is because I know so intimately how it feels to be hungry and to be held in contempt for poverty that I am so vehement about this right now. At a time when we are trying to soften the boundaries that separate us, so as to foster the egalitarian society that most of us wish for, this "special lunch" thing is exactly the opposite of the approach we need to take. I don't blame the schools, for the most part, but I *do* think that we should be saying something to our Congresspeople and our President. It is the federal policies that make this a problem, and those federal policies can and SHOULD be changed.

[Norrin Radd]

1. We waste so much building war machines that could go to feeding people.

I had to go without lunch when I was in junior high and high school.

[Lyric]

4. I did too, for a while.

I transferred schools in the middle of 10th grade, and when I got to my new school in a different state, it was already past the time when the free lunch paperwork went home. My dad had just died, and I didn't want to bother my Mom about it, so I just sucked it up and went without for a long time. She only remembered when the next school year started and the paperwork came home on the first day.

I didn't get breakfast either. It's hella hard to concentrate when your stomach is aching.

[roguevalley]

11. it cost 25 cents for us to have hot lunch when I was a kid and there

were four of us. A dollar a day. Too many times we didn't have it and I can still feel the awfulness. My parents worked hard and are then and ever will be my heroes. I can only imagine how they felt sending us to school without a quarter to buy lunch. :(

I love you, Mom and Dad. Always.

[fasttense]

170. Ahh, excuse me, uhm, I have a question for Lyric

If your Mom, sister and nephew live in a tar paper shack in the woods, can't they grow vegetables? And did your Mom move from the trailer park to the shack? It has been my experience that people who live in trailer parks live in trailers not tar paper shacks. I'm just confused about your story moving from a shack in the woods to a trailer park. Just asking.

[leftyclimber]

178. I'm not Lyric, but I have been to her mother's house.

She and I are friends offline.

It's situated on a narrow strip of land on the side of a mountain that is mostly woodlot and not part of their place, and they have a small garden plot where they grow what they can. The soil is poor and the water polluted here in Central Appalachia, as we are in the part that has been mined out, which means that regardless of space vegetables are difficult to grow without a lot of treatment of the soil, which is costly. Our growing season is relatively short as well. Regardless, the space they have is not enough to feed people for any long stretch of time. They do what they can with what they have. It's just that what they have is insufficient.

WRT the story moving, Lyric's description of her mom's house is bang-on. Lyric is the one who lives in a trailer park.

(Hope you don't mind my jumping in, Lyric. Love ya, sis.)

[byeya]

182. I live in Appalachia at 3000' south of the coalfields. A lot of

places just don't have room for much of a garden because the mountains are so high and the hollows so narrow. Then, there's the problem of lack of sunlight.
Thanks to my sister, I found out that our family has been in the USA since 1653 when Cromwell and the Prots kicked our ancestors out of Ireland and they went to Maryland. I am the first to graduate from high school and moved to the southern mountains when my job transferred me here. I stayed in retirement. Unions allowed the previous generation to put the kids through school and have a middle income existence which, though we lived near the docks{longshoremen on my mother's side}, was pretty nice.

New York and California had excellent higher education and mostly tuition free until RepubliKKKan governors{Rockefeller & Reagan} began the huge increases in cost to students which helped preserve the priviledged access to higher education that we see today. Healthcare and higher education should be free. Screw charter schools and encourage parental involvement in the public schools.

[Lyric]

191. Nope, don't mind at all.

We grew up in Woodland Terrace mobile home park in Morgantown, WV. Mom didn't move to the shack until I was already grown up. I now live in a different trailer park than the one I grew up in, and my sister and her kids live with Mom.

I understand questioning stories like these, but I have no problem verifying everything I've said if someone wants to take the time to come visit. I've actually considered doing a photo essay on poverty, using my Mom's place as a setting. It's hard for us to get out there without a car, so I don't see her very often, but if and when I ever do, I'll gladly post the pictures so DU'ers who are interested can see for themselves.

Thanks for providing a third-party perspective, leftyclimber. I appreciate it, and love you for it.

:loveya:

[Grinchie]

228. I agree. Recently a Billion Dollar Missile cruiser ran aground off Honolulu

It took four days of concerted effort the refloat this Weapon of Mass destruction. It destroyed a large section of Coral Reef, and it was found out later that they dumped 10,000 gallons of raw sewage "In order to protect the crew", even though they denied previously that they had spilled anything.

The ship broke several blades off the propellors, crushed the Sonar dome, and employed hundreds of people in the effort to refloat it.

After they succeeded, it went immediately into drydock for inspection, and was out of the water less than a week after it ran aground during it's first sea trials after just undergoing a year long maintenance and retrofit.

Now, do a basic analysis of the costs of this endeavor and you can see that most like all the Kids in America could have been fed healthy meals for the cost of this simple accident alone.

I truly hope that the Budget is laid out like an open book for all of us to see, so we can decide for certain, without any doubt, that this Military expediture is a loser for all of us.

Although I feel for the kids being starved for funding, I cannot bring myself to work for anyone and pay taxes when the majority of it goes to the Military. The military really does nothing for me. It is nothing more than a for profit Corporation, using poorly informend individuals to operate it. It is for the most part, above the law that applies to all of us, yet it is run and supported by us for benefit of Profit oriented Corporations.

True Tax reform will come when I can designate what I want my tax dollar to be spent on. We need a check box that say, I want my taxes to be spent on "Childrens Nutrition", Healthcare, Infrastructure, or War Machine if it is warranted.

As of now, we as taxpayers have no choice in the matter, which is why I choose to not make any taxable income until I can have a say in how it is spent. Fortunately, I have been living with this passive protest since 2003, which is when Bush invaded Iraq, so it is really easy to conserve, live frugally, and maintain a fine standard of living without earning meaningful/taxable income.

A year ago, a new 3 billion dollar Fast Attack Nuclear Submarine was delivered to Pearl Harbor.

A few months ago, the Navy announced that it is going to replace it's fleet of EP3 Orions, some of the most reliable airplanes in the world, with new Boeing planes. Unfortunately, they new planes are much larger, take all new tools, need new hangars and support systems. How much is this going to cost?

Pay attention to the military people. It affects you in so many ways that you have to connect the dots on why kids can't get fed for free.

[Thothmes]

237. The replacement of the P-3 is due to the fact that

all of the air frames are 30 years old and starting to fail. Over one third of the Navy's P-3s are permanitly grounded because of air frame fatigue.
They have reached the end of their usable service life and need to be replaced.

[EFerrari]

2. What a beautiful post.

:hug:

Never mind the people that don't understand, we are really one people. Enough of us do get it.

[H2O Man]

3. Thank you

for posting this.

Nominated.

[AlCzervik]

5. We have a moral imperative to take care of the least among us.

thank you for posting your story.

[mrsadm]

204. I agree but ...

Republicans think poverty is a moral failing.

[Chorophyll]

225. Good thing this site is full of Democrats, then. nt

[annabanana]

6. Thank you so much for this.

In order to imagine trying to walk in another's moccasins, it helps to have them clearly described.. I am glad you managed to come through that rough childhood with your psyche intact and your compassion undamaged.

I prefer to think of the harshness shown in other threads as interlopers on the board, and not real DUers.

[etherealtruth]

7. As far as I am concerned

This is how I want my tax dollars spent. This is a worthy investment in our society and our future

[fed_up_mother]

38. I agree.

This is very much how I want my taxes spent.

[Demoiselle]

43. Agreed. (eom)

[morillon]

124. Me, too.

I will never forget the little boy named Randy in my first grade class who cried almost every day because his stomach hurt. I know now (but didn't realize then) that he just wasn't getting enough to eat. How can a kid learn when he's too hungry to pay attention?

I pay out the ass in taxes. I have for my entire adult working life. That's the price I pay to live in a civilized society, and I'm happy to do it. It's about damn time that the other people at my income level and above paid their fair share, too. This offshore tax haven shit should be abolished NOW.

[CaptJasHook]

190. I had this kid named Brian,

four brohers and sisters living in a one room apartment. Everyday he came to school in one of two sets of cloths that he owned. Every morning I slipped him a Cliff bar and a box a juice from my stash (he wasn't the only one, BTW). Kid wasn't incredibly bright, but who gives a F!#$. He did the work, kept out of trouble and helped out his friends... everyday.

Brian is one of my personal saviors. I can't believe what we put some kids through. Taxes or not, my money/time is for to them. I am not religious, but "There but for the grace of God go I."

[Realityhack]

8. I think you just did pay some of it forward.

Thanks for the post.
:hug:

[leftyclimber]

9. Thank you, sister.

:hug:

[Lyric]

14. You know how this is for me, probably better than anyone else

except for Deb. You are one of the few people who've *seen* how my family lives...how *we* live.

I keep telling myself, work hard, keeping nailing those 4.0 semesters, it'll all be different someday. But I can't help but think of the kids that don't have that hope...that will NEVER have it. A cheap meal once or twice a day isn't much to ask of us, truly.

:hug:

[leftyclimber]

32. All we can do is work together

to help each other learn a little more empathy toward others. And once there's empathy, a little compassion will grow. And pretty soon we'll start looking after each other, and everyone will have a chance.

I hope. I really hope.

[redqueen]

10. We should not punish children for their parents' failings.

That's what it all boils down to. Thanks Lyric...

[Jackpine Radical]

58. "Parents' failings."

You have no conception of what you are talking about.

[redqueen]

60. Why did you quote "parents' failings"?

What are you talking about?

[Jackpine Radical]

65. Because I was directly quoting the previous poster.

There are many reasons why parents cannot provide adequately for their children. These reasons are not necessarily failings, unless you think poverty itself is evidence of a personal failing. It is always very easy for the comfortable to point fingers at those in miserable circumstances and lecture about their failings.

[redqueen]

70. The OP, you mean? Not me?

You're right, it's not always some failing... however that's the cause that most of the more libertarian members of DU have seized on to justify their moral grandstanding about how the shame tactic is okie-dokie.

Sorry I didn't make it more clear that I do understand that sometimes the situation is not due to anyone's failing at all, but mere circumstance. Trust me, I know better than most how that goes.

:hi:

[Jackpine Radical]

75. Actually, I guess i was quoting you.

Even when the fault is apparent laziness or alcoholism or addiction or whatever, if you look deeply, you'll usually find some awful circumstances beneath the addiction, the learned helplessness, the belief that one cannot change one's circumstances through effort, etc. that make it understandable. I have seen many multi-generational stories of physical, emotional, sexual abuse, leaving me wonder when it started--like maybe in the Hundred Years' War in some cases. Which of those people is to blame? All of them? None of them? I'm 64 years old and have spent most of my professional life working with the severely damaged detritus of our wonderful capitalist system.

[redqueen]

181. Yes, I see what you mean.

Thanks for reminding me. :)

[OmmmSweetOmmm]

209. You need one of those little sarcasm smiles! I read your reply and thought to myself

this couldn't have come from redqueen! :hi:

[orion007]

130. Priceless...a child's smile

I volunteer at a Vermont food bank which also has a room of clothes, toys, books, etc.
All is free, and my greatest pleasure is finding clothes for a child that they really like, or toys, or a book.
There's no limit on what can be taken from the room so It's not uncommon for a child to get many things they love on each visit.
A spider man t-shirt, a Dora top,cargo pants,a toy...........they're thrilled,
Cabot Cheese Co. is very generous to us,so it doesn't get any better then that in the cheddar cheese world.
Anyone who would deny a child good food, and a generous heart giving it to them should be made to eat
a 5lb.block of US yellow full of crap cheese, and also have to inhale the repulsive odor it has!!!!!!
shame, shame
Leave the parents out of it and do right by the children.

[rasputin1952]

203. I spend time at the local Salvation Army, it's a p/t gig while I finish

up school at the grand old age of 57. I know what you are saying...on more occasions than I care to mention, I've seen kids looking at toys with joy in their eyes. Mom's and Dad's often don't have the small amount necessary to get some things..."somehow", these items wind up at the cashier's station, paid for and given to the child with love and a smile.

Never figured out how that happened...just know it's a group effort....:hug:

[Roon]

208. I volunteered at an AIDS food bank a couple of years ago

It was fun and it helped me get through my breakup. I wanted to go back to volunteering last year,but they made a new policy about clients working there. (I'm a client too)

We gave away clothes,petfood, plants,food etc.

I want to volunteer again but this time I want to teach kids or seniors how to use the computer.

[renate]

214. welcome to DU!

You sound like a lovely, caring person whose greatest joy is seeing another person happy. :hug:

[redqueen]

219. Welcome to DU!

I'm with you... do right by the children. :)

[Gidney N Cloyd]

12. I'm glad you stuck it out. You write beautifully.

[KG]

13. it's clear many people have no clue how many poor an/or dysfunctional families there are.

seen some fucked up shit in my time. it was a miracle the kids got to school much less learned anything. and it dammed sure wasn't the kids fault.

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

15. Applause.

[noiretextatique]

16. thanks so much for sharing your story

i can't believe the people who support punishing children for being poor or having parents who don't fill out paperwork...it's truly sickening. humiliation should not be a part of any school's policy, and no decent human being should begrudge a child getting a free meal.

[TahitiNut]

17. I'm glad to inform you that you're now an honorary member of the

... Ad Hoc Association of Fruits & Nuts, DU Chapter!

:applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause:

You have obviously completed the "course of study" in the School of Hard Knox with the requisite glimpse into the Abyss. Bravo.
I welcome you to our ranks -- people who know, based on experience, that sanity is over-rated.

:hug: :hug:

[Sisaruus]

18. Thank you for these comments

I use to be a fundraiser for a kids' organization which included summer camp programs. The board of directors always wanted me to make the kids receiving camp scholarships sit down and write thank-you notes which could be sent to the donors. I always refused. The way I saw it was that ALL the kids had to write the notes (because everyone benefited from the cross-class diversity) or nobody would write notes.

It always amazes me how quickly we can become arrogant in our privilege - and how children learn to mimic (in the extreme) adult arrogance.

[skeewee08]

19. AWESOME post! U Rock and I pray that you graduate from college:-)

[Lyric]

20. I can promise you that's going to happen.

I refuse to let my son have the same life that I did.

:hug:

[JanMichael]

25. My wife went back

and she will have a Masters at age 46.

It's a pain in the ass to jump through hoops. Graduate school is just flaming hoops smeared with poop...but, you can do it. Seriously.

[Vinca]

21. One of the best posts I've ever read on DU.

Heartfelt and beautifully written. I was thinking back to when I was in school (the dark ages) and I don't think anyone paid. We all lined up, they shoveled the mystery meat on the plate and we ate it. School districts ought to consider the cost of providing lunch when they make their budgets so the money would come from tax revenues. Kids who are different in any way always have a hard time of it (I was one of the fat kids)and making a big deal out of school lunch is totally unnecessary.

[Cleita]

22. I teared up as I read this. It's bad enough that poor people are looked

down at as if their status in life was their fault somehow, but to pick on children is despicable. School lunch should be free for all children, period. That would end the class distinction between haves and have nots. I really want a lot more of our tax money going to schools and less on wasteful military spending and there is billions being spent there on useless experimental technology that ends up not being useful in the long run. It's really another form of corporate welfare for military contractors. I hope you reach your goals and can break that cycle of poverty that you were born into.

[monmouth]

23. Very enlightening and important post. Should go to the Greatest ...n/t

[Kceres]

24. I've been working as a "lunch lady" at my sons' school since last year.

I started working there in 2007 to help get my youngest open enrolled (it bumped them up on the priority list if they had a parent working at the school), but now I'm working there out of necessity. Hubby got laid off last November. I've noticed an enormous increase in the free and reduced lunch category since last year. I used to see maybe one child out of 35 or 40 and now it's about one in 15. We had no idea when my husband was laid off how long it would take him to find work. Now I'm looking for full-time employment, although it is breaking my heart to leave all my "lunch kids." Last month I had to put both my boys on the reduced lunch role, too. Actually, it was my boss that suggested it. She gave me the form and I found it easy to complete. No one should be ashamed to ask for it either. Plus, no one cares anymore anyway; we have something of a "we're all in this together attitude."

[Tikki]

26. I want you to know....I learned all of my free lunch students by sight....

so all they had to do was walk near enough to my desk for me to say hello...and never have to
identify themselves out loud on their way to the lunch counter.

I learned all my regular lunch students by sight..

Sometimes a student would ask me why another student didn't give me money before going to
the lunch counter. I'd just answer..."Some have already prepaid for their lunches." End of
conversation.

I can't image why an adult would allow a child or tolerate that a child might have to eat lunch
with his stomach in knots because of being so hungry or because of the hurtfulness of others.

We need to grow up as a Nation and start setting compassionate adult role-modeling for our next generation.

Tikki

[Lyric]

29. I wish our lunch ladies had been like you.

My elementary and middle-school years would have been a lot easier.

:hug:

[Kceres]

44. I do that, too!

The teenagers especially appreciate it; they come through in clusters.

[Tikki]

45. And the teenagers seemed to take care of each other.....

I would look out at the tables and see them share food when needed...



Tikki

[morillon]

128. That is a beautiful thing. n/t

[acmavm]

27. Great post! But you know what your problem is? You make too much

sense. You are too sensible. You are too kind and caring.

[mwooldri]

138. That's what Lyric is... :) definitely kind and caring. nt

[driver8]

28. One of the most amazing posts I've ever read...

Thank you for sharing your story with us.

[GentryDixon]

30. You and your family are the face of America.

Thank you for sharing.

My son was discriminated against during his grade school years because he was not Mormon. He was told he would burn in hell. Children learn hate from their parents. How sad it is.

[Lucky Luciano]

126. Interesting...

When I was six years old I was told that I was going to hell (which had to be defined for me) when asked if I believed in god and never heard of the term. When the kids defined god for me, I thought they were insane...I continue not to believe anything that I cannot prove. Also, probably due to the idiots that made fun of me, I have been 100% closed minded to all things spiritual - makes sense since I am 100% left brained and analytical.

[a la izquierda]

31. I got free lunch too, after my folks divorced.

My mom had no college education. My family pulled together to help her-my uncle co-owned our house, which my grandma (her former mother-in-law) sold to my mom for next to nothing so us kids wouldn't have to move. My mom became a lunch lady so that my sisters and I wouldn't be latch-key kids and because she couldn't afford day-care in the summer; but being a lunch lady meant she would get unemployment when she was "laid off" for the summer. Her girlfriend moved in and rented the garage apartment that had been converted for my grandma in the 70s. My uncle sent mom a little money now and then.
Everyone knew we were poor. And everyone knew I would beat the crap out of anyone who dared make fun of me, my sisters, or any other kid for being poor (I was a tough little tomboy). My mother had nothing for herself until I turned 15 and could work in the summers to help out.
My mom is now the head of the lunch program in my old school district-and she never forgets what we went through as kids; the lunches in her place are actually not bad at all.
Best lesson of all from my mom? Hard work and humility.

[midnight]

33. More power to you Lyric!

"Some say that there's no excuse for poor people not filling out the free lunch forms. Oh really? Did you know that the illiteracy rate within the impoverished community is astronomical? Do you realize that in order for a Food Stamp family to get free lunch, they must provide their Food Stamp case number on the form--something not always easy to dig up? Do you realize that a lot of these kids are from immigrant families, many of whom are not legal, and most of whom do not speak or read English very well? Did you know that the forms only go home once a year, unless specifically requested, and poor people often don't have phones to call and make the request? Do you really think that there's NO reason other than laziness why a needy family has not filled out that paperwork?"

[Thickasabrick]

34. Phenomenal Post!!! Thank you for making my day!!! K&R

[nadinbrzezinski]

35. Hugs... and as to paying taxes

they are the fee to live in a civilized society, period. You just exemplified why we pay taxes

Take care

And yes, some folks have no clue what goes on, since as I said somewhere else today, they were the cool kids

[lumberjack_jeff]

36. Thank you for this, but I see it differently.

Here's my experience in Washington State.

On the first day of school, each student brings home a free lunch form. The form takes about 5 minutes to fill out, it consists of about 4 or 5 questions.

We were notified within about a week that our kids qualified for free lunch.

I have kids in two school districts (long story). In district #1, the kids have a PIN which either they or the lunch person (depending on grade level) keys into the computer. This indicates how many lunches are in the student's account. When it gets to a certain threshold, a reminder note is given to the student. From the lunchroom, I don't think there's any way of knowing at what price the lunch was purchased. (Our child in this district usually brings a lunch because he's a picky eater due to a disability)

District #2 they use tickets, but as far as I know, the tickets are indistinguishable from one another.

By all means, parents should get whatever assistance they need to fill out the forms, but their children's nutrition is their responsibility.

The free lunch/breakfast program is a good one, and schools should do outreach to families to make sure that it's available to everyone who qualifies. Further, the system of payment should be as transparent as possible to everyone in the school setting.

I am extremely grateful for the assistance our family gets. However, as a parent I'm responsible for my child's nutrition. Further, I do not think it is the community's problem that he get a fashionable nutritious lunch simply because I am inattentive or have other priorities.

BTW... I'm not *that* "Jeff". :hi:

[Barb in Atl]

229. Lumberjack, you're forgetting something really important...

...not every parent has their kid's best interest at heart.

So how do you differentiate the kids with parents who don't, can't fill out a form or pay for the lunches and those that just don't give a crap? Bottom line, the kid still suffers.

The child should not suffer for the parents.

Further, I do not think it is the community's problem that he get a fashionable nutritious lunch simply because I am inattentive or have other priorities.

The key word in the quote I pulled is "nutritious". Yeah, I think a kid should get a nutritious lunch. And there's very little about school lunches that are fashionable, anyway.

[lumberjack_jeff]

236. Short of placing kids in foster care, I don't know that society can mitigate...

... every impact of having imperfect parents.

On a scale of one-to-ten, having to eat an occasional cheese sandwich probably doesn't register as "1" among the problems that result from having parents that "don't give a crap".

Based on the anecdotes from "lunch ladies" here on DU, it sounds like the profile of the typical deadbeat is someone making middle income who simply knows that, unlike failing to pay the cellphone bill, the ramifications of not paying for their kids lunch (or packing one for them) are small... someone else will pick up the tab for awhile.

But you make a better argument than most. Most kids of poor families get a free or reduced price lunch, and help is available for those for whom filling out the forms is a challenge.

[Barb in Atl]

243. You're right, can't mitigate all...

but maybe can smooth over some. Thanks for the exchange.

[Warpy]

37. We know you'll pay it forward

which is why we old crocks who were voting age in the 60s supported all these programs.

We have enough in this country to feed everybody, provide health insurance and send them to state schools. We squander it in two ways, by supporting an obscenely bloated military budget and by allowing a few men to become obscenely rich at everybody else's expense.

Until we can solve both those issues, we're going to have to decide who can pay for their food and who can't.

The cheese sandwich for lunch program here in Albuquerque has turned up $90,000 from people who could afford to pay but who chose to spend their money on things they wanted instead of something their children needed. It has also allowed us to identify children of poor, proud families who couldn't afford the lunches but were too ashamed to ask for help.

And the bottom line is that no child went hungry.

I am hoping I see the day before I die when our children are cared for, when we don't have to live in terror of getting sick, and when the military has become a defensive force instead of an imperial one. I live for the day when obscene wealth concentration is recognized as the chief enemy of democracy and steps have been taken to tax it into oblivion.

Until those things happen, I am afraid school districts will have to determine who can pay for lunch and who can't.

My district just didn't let anyone go hungry while they did it.

[Fire1]

63. Warpy, I KNEW you were a Boomer! Everything you post

I find agreeable.:fistbump:

[Warpy]

68. Better watch that

You're going to get a reputation.

[Fire1]

71. A reputation as What???

[elizfeelinggreat]

39. Thank you for sharing your story

The children deserve so much more than we give them and I truly believe we can make a difference.

k & r

[Mollis]

40. This was an amazing post.

And I completely agree with you. No kids should have to go through that.
:hug:

[Roon]

211. When my Mother and Father divorced

My Mother ended up with a house payment, 3 kids in elementary school, and making only $3.35 an hour. We got free lunches, food stamps, etc. But at the time I didn't know we were poor. The only thing I noticed is we quit drinking fresh milk and we started drinking the powder stuff.

[Mollis]

212. I guess kids don't really notice those kinds of things...

That's so much stuff for a mom to do. I don't get why people think families that don't have the money should be singled out. Or that they should't feed kids lunches at all.

[Roon]

215. Yeah, no doubt

I forgot to mention that our Father paid child support every month. Never a second late. We were lucky!

[Mollis]

218. That is really lucky.

I have friends with kids and the fathers don't pay anything. It sucks. :(

[Inspired]

41. I agree with, and have experienced in some ways, everything you said.

Your post is brilliant.

[yellerpup]

42. Thank you for sharing this part of your past with us

and also the very bright news of your accomplishments in education that are sure to change your future for the better. The point you make about not punishing the kids for paperwork the parents are unable to fill out is really important for people to understand. Part of my part-time job is wrangling volunteers, and part of a child tutoring program for children of immigrants that we partner with was expanded this year because of a very real need to teach parents the importance of signing the forms their kids bring home from school. For all the years of partnering with this program, this year was the first time anyone thought to tutor parents how to help their kids get basics that other kids take for granted. Yes, they do need a nutritious lunch, but it's also good for them to go on the field trips to museums, etc. so their world can be opened up to new possibities. Thanks for speaking out.

Edit to add: K&R

[DevonRex]

46. Thank you. What you wrote is important for people to understand.

:hug:

[City Lights]

47. Thank you for sharing your story.

:hug:

Hopefully, you enlightened at least a few people. :-)

Happy to recommend.

[jtrockville]

48. Ah, the painful memories come flooding in....

I came from a welfare home. I'm now mighty successful by my own judgement - we own our home and cars outright, no debt whatsoever. It was hard, but can be done. Keep at it Lyric.

My grandmother saved me from the "lunch line hell". She gave me lunch money in a brown envelope every week. God I miss her.

I could never complain about paying my share of taxes. I'm delighted to be able to give back, to create opportunities for those who may otherwise have none.

Gotta go brush the tears away now, and pray that no child ever has to suffer indignity at school over lunch ever again.

[Gormy Cuss]

111. I'm of a like mind. I never complain about paying my share of taxes.

If earlier generations had begrudged me the AFDC or Food Stamps because my mother was too lazy to get a job (an assessment that I heard from more than one finger-wagging adult along the way) or twisted their knickers over the free school lunch program and later over the Federal grants and loans that I used for education, I wouldn't be in a position to owe much in the way of taxes now.

As it stands the investment made in me and my siblings as children has been paid back to the government many times over in the form of state and Federal taxes. I'll pay all the taxes it takes to feed, shelter, and educate children. It's a no brainer for me.

And an aside to Lyric: :fistbump:

[TBF]

49. Fantastic OP, Lyric.

I knew a few kids like you growing up in rural Wisconsin. I was very fortunate - my dad was able to work his union job for about 15 years. After that he retired on veteran's disability (disabled Viet Nam war veteran) and the GI bill paid for myself and my siblings to go to college.

My household income is substantially more now and I'm sure yours will be as well. One thing I never mind is paying taxes. I'm very thankful to be in the position to do so.

K&R to your entire post, it was kind of you to share your story. Take care.

[debbierlus]

50. It is beyond disgusting that anyone would begrudge a child a decent meal,the selfishness is profound

It will be interesting to watch people who have had this condescending and self righteous attitude, as many fall victim to the new depression. I have a feeling they will change their tune pretty quickly when it means feeding their kids.

It is disgusting that a free school lunch program isn't just a given for any child who needs it.

[CrispyQ]

200. "It is disgusting that a free school lunch program isn't just a given for any child who needs it."

Hear, hear! The 'greatest nation on the planet' begrudges their kids a free lunch? How many power lunches have our tax dollars paid for bloated CEO power lunches? :grr:

[madmom]

51. But wouldn't you say by giving you a pink lunch card instead of a blue one,

they already singled you out making it tougher on you? I grew up in western Maryland spittin' distance from W Va. I know exactly what you are talking about.

[pnwmom]

53. I think she did say that.

"But if and when I ever do, I can promise you that begrudging poor kids their free meals at school would be the absolute LAST thing I would ever, ever do. It was hard enough to have a "pink" lunch card rather than a "blue" one--the pink ones denoted free lunch students, and everybody knew it. "

[pnwmom]

52. Wow. Lyric -- you are quite a writer.

Thank you for such a thoughtful essay. I bet you have changed more than a few hearts today.

I don't know what you are doing in school, or what your plans are for grad school, but this I do know: you ARE going to succeed. And your voice will be heard.

Keep writing!

[spartan61]

54. My heart was breaking while reading your post.

The sad thing is that your situation is not unique. We keep being told that we are the richest nation on Earth. If that is true, why is there a problem feeding ALL of our children? The children who receive free lunch should not be discriminated against, either by given "special lunches" or different color lunch tickets. I taught primary grades for 30 years and I am happy to say that the children on free lunch in my school were given the same color tickets as those whose parents could afford to pay for lunches. Our accounting system was so that not one child was made to be embarrassed for receiving free lunch.

Thank you for sharing your life with us on DU. I would love to see you send this to various newspapers around the country. So many of our citizens need to have their eyes opened. With the economy the way it is, this could someday soon be their life, too.

I wish you the very best of luck as you pursue your degree.

[tnlefty]

55. Thank you for this post.

:hug:s to you and your family.

[uberllama42]

56. "We should not punish children because their parents are ______"

There is no more American principle than this.

Thank you for this post.

[tanngrisnir3]

57. It's more punishing not to feed them at all.

[Jackpine Radical]

66. Nice to see that charity lives on in America.

Maybe we should whip the kids before we feed them, just to make the point of their inferiority.

[tanngrisnir3]

98. They're being fed. That's the point. Maybe you should attempt thinking...

before actually posting.

It's manufactured indignation that seems to be the poison of choice on this thread, so I'll leave you to it.

[Jackpine Radical]

134. They're being humiliated in the process of being fed.

[tanngrisnir3]

135. Again, you can see humiliation in almost everything that has to do....

with differences in economic status of kids and families. Lunch, clothes, accessories, etc...

And as far as there actually being active humiliation going on, which is something the OP maintains, it is alleged at one school.

I have repeated asked for evidence or support of the contention that it's somehow widespread and systemic, and no one has come forward with it.

[Ignis]

222. "Are there no prisons? Are there no workhouses?"

Thanks for stopping by to pay us a visit, Mr. Scrooge. :hi:

[Jamastiene]

84. I can't wait until your uppance comes.

You have been going from thread to thread on this one topic and putting poor kids down like they are dogs.

I can't wait until your uppance comes and you have to learn what it's like to be hungry and lambasted for that hunger. I pity your family, having to put up with your heartlessness.

I'm going to put you out of my misery right fucking now.

[tanngrisnir3]

94. I'm sorry you have to resort to dishonesty. Please show exactly where I did that.

I haven't put the kids down once, but rather taken apart your emotional, illogical attempts at making a reasonable post.

I'm sorry that makes you uncomfy.

[Shakespeare]

103. You should be more careful about calling out newbies.

Expressly against DU rules. AND you're mischaracterizing his comments.

Quote--specifically--where he's "putting poor kids down like they are dogs."

I'll be waiting.

I hate it when people around here resort to attacking new members. What bullshit.

[LostinVA]

136. self delete

[nichomachus]

89. And it's more punishing to kick them in the head. What's your point?

And I'm being charitable by assuming you have one.

[Name removed]

97. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[tabasco]

112. You seem to lack some basic humanity

if you don't understand how a pink lunch card acts as scarlet letter for a young person.

I pity you. I hope someday, you become human.

I'm a infantry combat vet and seen some awful things, but nothing quite as awful as a person without compassion.

[tanngrisnir3]

116. You seem to lack the basic ability to understand what is clearly written.

I'm saying if the child is nutritiously feed and it's w/in the budget, fantastic.

If there is some manufactured stigma attached to that fact by either kids at the school or posters at this site, well that's just too damn bad: the child is being fed, and that's the bottom line

I'm a former LEO, and I've seen some terrible things, but nothing quite matches up with those who willfully, pridefully refuse to think.

Save your pity, I'd just regift it.

[WillyT]

206. Hey Man... What Happened To Your Profile ???

:shrug:

[QueenOfCalifornia]

223. Oy

there are no words for what I feel when reading your nasty posts.

:eyes:

[racaulk]

59. Fantastic post!!!

Thank you for sharing your story and insight with us. And best of luck with finishing your degree--I know you can do it.

:hug:

K&R

[Cerridwen]

61. Thank you for this post.

I have no better words to offer.

[NashVegas]

62. People Are Punishing Themselves

You must learn to put your poverty-inspired pride — that thing some people call "learned helplessness" — in the waste basket where it belongs and ask for help.

[TwilightGardener]

64. Federal policy is already in place--that's why the free/reduced lunch program.

What more should the government do?

[demigoddess]

78. breakfast! do you know how many kids go to school hungry.

I once had a mother come to my door begging for a can of soup to feed her kids.

[Fire1]

67. Don't give up, darlin'! Hang in there! IT WILL PAY OFF!!!!!

:yourock:

[Hekate]

69. Thank you, thank you, thank you

[RetroLounge]

72. Beautiful

:applause:

RL

[wildeyed]

73. Awesome post.

K&R

[dembotoz]

74. beautiful post-thank you thank you

reminds me why i am a democrat
reminds me why i visit du

we must fight the good fight.
And fights do not get better than poverty

[Number23]

76. Heartbreaking. Thank you so much for your honesty.

[Jamastiene]

77. Best post I've seen all day.

Your OP shows that there is another side to this story other than the cold hearted, cruelty that has been displayed here by people who have never "been there."

Thank you for your OP. It's good to know I'm not the only poor person on DU. :hug:

[Flora]

79. I filled out the "free lunch" forms

for my 9 year old at the beginning of this school year. It was the first time I had attempted taking advantage of the program, but this widowed, flower shop employee was turned down. I thought for sure I would qualify and was a little shocked when I didn't... Back in August of last year when I applied, it was really draining my wallet and totally screwing my budget just to put gas in the car..

I certainly don't think getting the reduced or free lunch is a shameful thing. As a matter of fact, I was encouraged by the school to apply because federal funding is determined by these type circumstances.

[Barb in Atl]

230. If you can qualify for food stamps

Free lunch is automatic. Check to see if you qualify. There are some deductions that I didn't know about until I went to the website.

Best of luck to you.

[Lex]

80. We should feed ALL kids a hot lunch at school. That should be a part of the school day

for *every* kid in public school.

Thank you for sharing your story.

[ogneopasno]

81. If kids are being tormented, then that's what should be addressed. In a school where teasing kids

displaying generally understood signals of being poor (ill-fitting hand-me-downs, bad hair, wrong backpack, always hungry), giving kids all the same meal is not going to make that stop.

[Lex]

82. giving all kids a basic hot meal at lunch

should be the minimum standard and THEN teach tolerance and non-bullying too

[Jamastiene]

86. Agreed. n/t

[leftyclimber]

83. But it will sure as hell help them learn better

than if they're hungry all day, which these particular kids would likely be otherwise.

And if adults are finding ways to humilate these kids further, what does that say about us as a society? This is about humiliation of the poor from the top down.

Because kids have to learn it somewhere.

[ogneopasno]

87. I don't see how giving a kid a cheese sandwich, apple and glass of milk will make him hungry or

humiliate him for one day. I really don't. That's what I'm missing in all of this, and I really have to remind myself to stop getting into it.

[JuniperLea]

88. You must be one of the lucky ones...

Who was not singled out as different, during a time (childhood) where we are all trying to find ourselves and build a healthy self esteem.

Anyone who has been counted among that crowd knows full well what this is about.

[ogneopasno]

93. I had plenty of tormentors, but I suspect that won't convince you or change your mind at all.

[JuniperLea]

106. Why do I need to change my mind?

I know exactly what these kids are going through. You are clearly the one who does not.

[leftyclimber]

99. Delete. Wrong place.

.

[leftyclimber]

100. I'd suggest rereading the OP, then.

Try to internalize what it was like for her. Really. Put yourself in her shoes.

This isn't about a cheese sandwich and an apple. It's about systemic humilation of children for something they have no control over, from the adults on down

[stray cat]

141. We brought sandwiches for lunch - cheese or peanut butter and jelly

most of us didn't have money to blow on a hot lunch everyday and there was nothing wrong with a sandwich. Actually the ones who got a hot lunch were usually the ones getting a free lunch the rest of us had a sandwich. No one made fun of anyone else by and large when it came to lunch. There were lots of other things that were used as a basis for bullying.

[bigmonkey]

160. Then what's the point of doing it?

If the kids weren't being humiliated by the "poor kid lunch," then making them eat the "poor kid lunch" was entirely pointless and deliberately cruel. Those who say "JUST FILL OUT THE FORMS!" are assuming that treating these kids in that way will, in fact, be an incentive to the parents to do the paperwork. So, here are the two cases I see:

1) Singling out the kids with this treatment is irritating enough to the parents to make them do something they've been "neglecting."
or
2) Singling out the kids for this treatment is no big deal.

If case 1 is true, then you are admitting that the treatment of the kids is extortion.
If case 2 is true, then you are admitting that the treatment of the kids is pointless stigmatization.

How do you justify either one? Our point is that the kids should be left out of the thing altogether.

[JuniperLea]

91. Maybe not

But it will give the other kids one less thing to razz them about... if you've ever been on the receiving end of that action, you'd know.

[ogneopasno]

96. Yes, I do know. I know that if someone wants to bully, they're going to find something to bully

about. "One less thing" doesn't decrease it at all, IME.

[JuniperLea]

107. Well, IMHO

As one who has been there, I would have been outrageously and freakishly grateful for one less thing to be bullied about.

[ogneopasno]

127. As one who has been there, I found it didn't make a difference.

[JuniperLea]

139. Woe that we all aren't as strong as you. eom

[ogneopasno]

140. I'm not saying that at all.

[Moonwalk]

115. You Miss the Point!

"displaying generally understood signals of being poor (ill-fitting hand-me-downs, bad hair, wrong backpack, always hungry), giving kids all the same meal is not going to make that stop."

This misses the point in the same way the other poster on anther thread missed it when they argued that we were trying to give kids all the "same" stuff--wear the same clothes, dive the same car, etc. Yes, Kids will find ways to bully and abuse other kids. But just because this is common doesn't make it right. Kids cheat, and we punish them for that. Kids beat up other kids, we punish them for that. And when one kid makes fun of another for how they look or dress, we usually teach them that this is wrong. Don't we? We don't encourage the white kid to put down the black kid because of his color. We don't let our kid sneer to his friend "We've got a big car and you don't so we're better!" Do we? We DO agree that just because it's common for kids to do this, it isn't right. That, at the very least, kids should be taught courtesy.

We DO agree on that, don't we?

So here's the point: If the SCHOOL singles out a kid, if the ADULTS point out that the kid is to wear a scarlet letter and be ashamed of being who they are--if the SCHOOL says that the kid is to take on the blame of what their parents did as if THEY did it, as if THEY are a criminal, then the SCHOOL is telling the KIDS that it is okay for them to do the same to this kid. They are giving the kids PERMISSION to abuse the kid. How can it be wrong to sneer and mock and shame this kid...if the school does it?

Kids learn from adults. If adults say that blacks are inferior and to be treated as such, kids will treat blacks that way. And if ADULTS single out a poor kids who's parents couldn't pay, then the kids will do the same. Kids do wrong. But we are adults, not children. And it is our job as adults to teach them right from wrong. Giving kids the same meal won't stop the wrongs kids do to each other. But it WILL stop them form believing that adults approve of such wrongs, and that such wrongs are right.

[leftyclimber]

120. Dang, Moonwalk. THAT was what I was getting at.

Welcome to DU! :hi:

[Sentath]

232. Moonwalk's point needs to be emphasized

This sanctioning effect is why its so wrong.

[Daemonaquila]

163. You're right - it won't.

However, the school doesn't have to ADD to the problem by (a) taking the role of the schoolyard bully, and (b) giving the actual schoolyard bullies yet more fodder. It's hard enough to teach kids kindness, compassion, mercy, and thoughtfulness. You can't do it through telling them about it, only by example. This lesson not only is harmful to the kids being bullied, it's not doing much good for the rest by encouraging similar behavior from them.

[JuniperLea]

85. Bless the beasts and the children...

And bless you, Lyric. This is a beautiful OP, and you are a beautiful person for caring enough to set the record straight on this class warfare.

One point... a lot of kids are poor. White kids, brown kids, every color and religion you can think of... and a lot of kids have allergies. I think it has to do with pollution and the cocktail of synthetic chemicals we are all exposed to daily. I don't think we do any of them any good by throwing skin color into this class warfare. It's a time to unite, not further divide.

I have a feeling you are going to do very well in life. Don't ever forget how life started for you... it seems to have inspired you to rise above, and I'm betting it will inspire you to help others in the same situation once you can.

:hug:

[proud patriot]

90. My son gets free school lunch and breakfast too

I never received free lunch but, My husband
youngest of 4 being raised by single mother
received free lunch.

My family has paid lots of taxes over the years when
times were better . I hope to pay lots more taxes
when times are better , I want universal Healthcare
for all Americans even freepers .

I want a well paid and rested Firefighters , Teachers
and caregivers.

I want smooth roads and access to public Transportation.

[AlCzervik]

92. that's exactly why we pay taxes imo, we're a society and we need to care of each other, a hand up.

[rucky]

95. Let this be the last word on DU's most shameful debate. n/t

[ms liberty]

101. Thank you...very moving. K&R n/t

[Rhiannon12866]

102. Wow. K&R. I never realized...

Of course, in my day, things were probably much different. When I lived in rural Northern NY, many of the schools had no lunch programs. The kids who lived close enough could go home, the rest of us brought a lunch. I was a little kid, so I was always messing up, embarrassing myself. I didn't know to put the cork back in my Thermos, so I spilled milk all over the floor. And because we lived on the side of a mountain, sometimes my lunchbox would fall open and everything would roll down the hill and end up in the middle of the road in front of all the kids on the school bus. I was embarrassed. I had no idea how well off I really was... ;( :hug:

[flvegan]

104. I tried to hold off to be Rec #100.

I failed.

[Lyric]

197. ...

:hug:

I am amazed at the level of response to this thread, and how much support is being shown. I had expected a flamewar. Instead, I got a family.

What a day.

[Starry Messenger]

105. You are such a wonderful writer. Thank you for a great post.

I know you will do well! Hugs to you and your family. I work in a high school and the amount of kids that don't have breakfast is saddening. I teach a morning class and you can literally see who is learning and who is not by who has eaten (I ask discreetly). I wish I had $$ to feed them all. The best I've been able to manage is letting them take breaks to go to the vending machines for a snack, so at least they've got something on their stomachs.

Some kids don't even get a lick and a promise from their family. They are raising themselves and the fact that they make it to school at all is really an achievement for some of them. Throwing in roadblocks to success is a dumb idea for an institution of learning. If even school doesn't feel safe, they will stop coming. :(

[mascarax]

108. Systems are changing so kids DON'T know who is free & reduced

Schools cannot get their funding for the free & reduced students when students who feel stigmatized (and rightly so) stop eating rather than acknowledge they're participating. So there are newer point of sale systems that help prevent this. Of course, the systems require funding, but there is acknowledgement to not overtly identify the students (except in the software, which isn't obvious).

Thank you for sharing your story, Lyric. I had many friends who were free & reduced, and I know how hard it was. My parents weren't too far above 'reduced' status, but I know it was hell.

[Shakespeare]

109. Your last 2 sentences are really key here.

First, though--I'm glad your child is able to get free lunch. I know you guys have a tough time of it, and I'm SO glad that safety net is there.

That said, I think the point that almost everyone is missing is that the cheese sandwich meals are NOT a punitive measure. The original news story (out of Albuquerque, I believe) made it very clear that the school district cannot afford to feed them a bigger/more elaborate lunch.

If one skims through DU regularly, then one is certainly aware that school districts are facing unimaginably difficult budgetary times. How many of our posters here have lost their teaching jobs just in the last six months? I absolutely think we need to get those kids better lunches, but from everything I've read, the school district is doing its best to make sure those kids do at least get something to eat for lunch.

I think arguments are flying at cross purposes here, with a LOT of people misinterpreting (some intentionally) what others are saying. The federal government needs to do something NOW to get more funding for school lunches, but yeah--for now, I'm glad they're at least getting something to eat. Given what school budgets are like right now, it's not easy to do.

[ekwhite]

165. Mr Scrooge Weighs in...

“At this festive season of the year, Mr. Scrooge,” said the gentleman, taking up a pen, “it is more than usually desirable that we should make some slight provision for the Poor and Destitute, who suffer greatly at the present time. Many thousands are in want of common necessaries; hundreds of thousands are in want of common comforts, sir.”

“Are there no prisons?” asked Scrooge.

“Plenty of prisons,” said the gentleman, laying down the pen again.

“And the Union workhouses?” demanded Scrooge. “Are they still in operation?”

“They are. Still,” returned the gentleman, “I wish I could say they were not.”

“The Treadmill and the Poor Law are in full vigour, then?” said Scrooge.

“Both very busy, sir.”

“Oh! I was afraid, from what you said at first, that something had occurred to stop them in their useful course,” said Scrooge. “I’m very glad to hear it.”

“Under the impression that they scarcely furnish Christian cheer of mind or body to the multitude,” returned the gentleman, “a few of us are endeavouring to raise a fund to buy the Poor some meat and drink and means of warmth. We choose this time, because it is a time, of all others, when Want is keenly felt, and Abundance rejoices. What shall I put you down for?”

“Nothing!” Scrooge replied.

“You wish to be anonymous?”

“I wish to be left alone,” said Scrooge. “Since you ask me what I wish, gentlemen, that is my answer. I don’t make merry myself at Christmas and I can’t afford to make idle people merry. I help to support the establishments I have mentioned – they cost enough; and those who are badly off must go there.”

“Many can’t go there; and many would rather die.”

“If they would rather die,” said Scrooge, “they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population. Besides – excuse me – I don’t know that.”

“But you might know it,” observed the gentleman.

“It’s not my business,” Scrooge returned. “It’s enough for a man to understand his own business, and not to interfere with other people’s. Mine occupies me constantly. Good afternoon, gentlemen!”

Seeing clearly that it would be useless to pursue their point, the gentlemen withdrew. Scrooge returned his labours with an improved opinion of himself, and in a more facetious temper than was usual with him.

[Shakespeare]

189. Instead of a pointless attack, why don't you tell me exactly what I said that you take issue with.

Especially considering that my post suggested we look for real solutions; I hardly see how that makes me a scrooge. Oh, and I'm not a "Mr."

I've been nothing but civil; I'd love it if you'd offer the same courtesy.

[whathappened]

110. free lunch and being poor

i to along with my sisters went thru all of this back when we were in school , we did'nt wear the latest cloths and shoes on the market , we did'nt have money for lunches , we had to bag it , but did have a milk punch card , all the well to do would hundle in there corner of the lunch room , and us poor would take our side , and to think this still goes on today , and i have been out of school for 43 years

[wellstone dem]

113. The 100th recommendation in honor of

the kids who got made fun of for the clothes they wore, and then, when their mom got a good job and was able to go off of assistance and (after several pay checks able to buy them some "name" tennis shoes) who heard, "Hey, welfare kids aren't supposed to wear shoes like those."

For the parents who volunteer at one food shelf, and then go to another to get help because of how we shame those in need.

For the parents who wear "poor looking" clothes when they go to the grocery store so that the clerk won't make comments about how nice they dress when the use food stamps.

For the woman in line ahead of my co-worker who was using food stamps when the women behind my co-worker said, "Must be nice to have food stamps to buy ice cream bar." That woman had the courage to respond, "It sure is nice. And tonight when your kids go the football game, think of my kids who have to stay home because we can't afford for them to go. And Saturday, when your kids go to the movies, think of my kids, playing in the park because we can't afford a movie. And Sunday, when you take your family to brunch, think of my kids, because that's the day we will have our ice cream bar. All weekend, I will have reminded them, 'On Sunday, we get our ice cream bar.'"

And for my daughter who was called, "the foster kid" until I adopted her.

Thank you for a beautiful post.

[SheilaT]

114. When I was growing up

in the 50's and 60's the free lunch program didn't yet exist. At the school I went to through 8th grade in rural upstate New York, the food was quite good, and I believe the school bought most of the produce and meat from local farmers. The hot lunch was 25 cents. We were relatively poor, so I generally packed a sandwich of some kind. Back then, at least half of the kids brought a lunch from home.

When I was in fourth grade, the father of one of my classmates -- there were five kids in the family, they rode the same bus as I did and always wore shabby clothes and sometimes didn't smell very clean -- the father killed himself. The day my classmate was out for the funeral, my teacher held a class meeting with us, and explained that things were very tough for the family, and suggested we fund paying for the classmate's lunch ticket for the rest of the year. I can't recall how we collected the money, but it was done.

Later we moved to Arizona and now attended a school system that required we buy our school books -- in New York they'd been free. There were five of us, my mother was an RN, but they got paid very poorly in those days. My mother somehow scraped together the money to pay for our books that year (the three of us who needed to buy them), but next year had to ask the bookstore if an account could be set up and the books paid off over time. Yes, no problem we were told. A few weeks later I was called into my counselor's office and she told me that our book bill was being forgiven. Apparently there were funds for hardship cases like ours. And the next year, when we went to get out books, we were told that there would be no charge.

At the same time, because there was no free lunch program, I recall making my lunch a couple of chocolate milks, because I could get two for five cents. And when I got a Saturday babysitting job that paid (this was in 1964) $3.00 to watch two little girls all day, I usually had the mom who drove me home stop at the grocery store so I could buy food for us. She was always amazed, but it simply never occurred to me not to spend the money on food for me and my siblings.

I've been poor enough to appreciate that we need to help others out. Perhaps we need a better system to help out parents who aren't literate enough to fill out the paperwork, and we don't need to give the kids a different colored meal ticket. But, and this is the huge but, when parents of kids who can pay for the lunches simply don't get around to giving the kids the money to pay for those lunches, then feeding them something, but perhaps not the hot lunch, is called for. Maybe we need to fund schools so that a hot lunch is simply part of the school day. But there is so much resistance to paying for good schools, for good teachers, for decent facilities, for all the support services needed, that lunch is seen as a trivial extra. It shouldn't be.

I also get very exasperated at people without kids who don't understand why they should be helping pay for the schools. The truth is that good schools and a well-educated younger generation is vital to us all. Even those who have children, only have those kids in the public school systems for a relatively few years. I actually was able to send my two to a private school, and I'd get into arguments with the other parents at the school about why we should not be exempt from penny one of school taxes. I even said that our school taxes weren't high enough, that we weren't funding schools as we should.

[Deep13]

117. Yup. I find it odd that so many of those who vilify poor Americans...

...purport to worship a man who advocated the rejection of material possessions and acceptance of universal charity.

I still think keeping peanut butter out is a reasonable trade off against the possibility of someone dying from allergic shock.

[JeffR]

118. I wish this had been the only thread on this topic.

It's the only one needed.

Thank you for sharing all this. I hope a lot of people read it and learn from it.

[LostinVA]

119. Thank you -- I've been appalled at the number of DUers who haven't got this the last few weeks

Props for your post.

K&R

[MrBlueSky]

121. I didn't know free lunches were available growing up...

Kids kept breaking into my locker and stealing my lunch tickets.

These days, my teenage daughter used to take free lunches and now I've applied again for her.

I am not lazy... I am disabled. So, there should be no ridiculing of my teenaged daughter!

[2Design]

122. Very Educated Informative Post - did you take debate class?

Very good fact based - thanks for enlightening - send to all newspapers and send to [e-mail]

[Flying Dream Blues]

123. Thanks, Lyric, for this beautiful post.

Your story is heartbreaking, but also inspiring. I hope all the best for you and your family.
:hug:

[Samantha]

125. I too thank you for this wonderful thread

It was all I could do to keep from crying as I read it. No one should feel obligated to explain why he or she partakes of a free lunch when conditions necessitate it.

Sam

[blaze]

129. Beautifully written!

Thanks so much for sharing your story with us.

I would be extraordinarily proud if you were my daughter.

[varelse]

131. This post should be printed out

and framed.

:kick:

[readmoreoften]

132. I'm barely able to make my mortgage, but I'd gladly pay more property taxes so kids could get fed.

And not punitive cheese sandwiches, but real hot lunches like everyone else. People who think "the poor are taking all our money" might want to put down some of their ample dough for a book on logic and critical thinking. I know that poor kids can't afford to hate those who torment them because the bitterness will kill them. As a working class kid who never knew hunger, but knew many who did, I'm glad to hate those sadist bastards for ya...

[Daemonaquila]

169. How dare you!

You want to feed kids, but you might not be able to pay your mortgage?!?!? Where are your values!?!? Don't you know that you might be hurting the BANKING INSTITUTIONS THAT MAKE AMERICA GREAT?!?!? How dare you put feeding people ahead of the good of Chase, Merrill Lynch, and CITIBank?


:sarcasm:

[pengillian101]

133. K&R great post! n/t

[AndrewP]

137. Well said.

[Tab]

142. When I grew up, there was no "free" or "not free"

unless my parents were billed without my knowledge (which, perhaps, is possible) but we all had cafeteria lunches. Some had "hot lunch" (from the cafeteria), some brought their own, so perhaps there was money involved - not that the "hot lunches" were great (in my opinion) but I don't recall any marginalizing of any children, black, white, rich, poor, or whatever.

As a parent now, though, I'm constantly writing checks to the food service for "lunch" and if I don't, my son might get a PB&J or something. Parent's are now required to foot the bill for food during the school day. Maybe this is right, maybe it's wrong, but I don't see why a community can justify educating a child 5 days a week, but can't spring for lunch. The more affluent kids would get all the food and ice cream and whatever they want, the non-affluent would get, at least in this topic, a cheese sandwich. That seems wrong to me. The parents want to send extra food with their kid, go ahead, but they all ought to have the same baseline of food, and I disagree we should create such a major difference between frickin' chicken fingers, for instance, on a tuesday, and PB & J. Honestly, how much does it cost? We shouldn't be doing this. C'mon, let's be a nation, folks. Sheesh.

[mia]

143. Thank you for sharing your experience. No one should go hungry.

:kick:

[amyrose2712]

144. Thank you for the passionate post. eom

[rasputin1952]

145. Your story has touched my heart...NO child should go hungry

in this nation.

I am not normally prone to say a lot on the Boards, but I want to share something with you.

A few months ago, I walked into the local "Lou's" Store and was a little surprised to see a policeman writing out a ticket for shoplifting to a relatively young man. I know everyone in the store, so I sidled over to the Customer Counter and inquired what was up. Well, this man had taken a pack of bologna and a loaf of bread. A short discussion later, I find out his wife and 2 kids are in the car out in the parking lot. OK...I can't take too much more of this.

I step outside, smoke a cigarette and wait for the man to exit the store, looking about as hopeless as a man can look. I ask him if I can talk to him for just a second, and he said he was embarrassed, I told him I knew that, but I was not there to berate him, I wanted to try to help. He was "banned" from the store, so i asked if his wife and kids would enter the store with me, and we'd see what we could do. He told me he was to start a job on Monday, (this was a Friday evening), and was terrified he'd have to tell his new boss about this citation.

Moving forward...the man's wife, kids and I enter the store, we get a cart. I am on FS myself as an aged student, so I set a "limit" of $65, hoping that would help at least a little. Well off we go. Produce aisle, canned food, bread, meat, sandwich fixin's...you know, the usual. Well....we get to the checkout, (lol, kids get Gummi Bears...:D ).

Mike, who is Lou's son, runs the store, and during the checkout, we talk about the situation. Mike tells me if he had been there at the time, there would have been no cops, no charges, etc. I like Mike, nice guy, always friendly. The "bill" came out to $57.04, so I drag out my EBT and get ready to do the deal. Mike asks to talk to me for a second, OK. He tells me, "put your card away, this is on me". Then he stuns me, he says he'll call the County CH on Monday AM and drop all charges.

End of the story coming. We take the groceries out to the car, the wife and husband thank me, the kids give me kisses and a Gummi Bear apiece...:) There is a gas station on the other end of the lot, so I ask him to pull up over there. I had $27 cash, and it took $26.82 cents to fill his car for the week of work he was going to. I walked over to Lou's, thanked Mike, got a few things I needed, had 18 cents in my pocket....got in my car and went home...but I never felt wealthier in my life.

[ekwhite]

166. God Bless You Sir

and God Bless "Mike" also.

[Barb in Atl]

233. (sniff) n/t

[960]

146. Thank you for such a great post!

I can't believe how many people just don't get it. (and I mean people here on DU who should know better) :patriot:

[kleec]

147. Thank you

Thank you for posting a wonderful message of not forgetting what our country should be paying attention to. Congratulations on your achievements.

[carolinablue]

149. There is more than one side to this, however

As someone who works in a large urban elementary school and who has had the task of calling all parents with lunch balances over $50, I can attest that there is more than one side to this. While I don't approve of stigmatizing students ( and our system does not do this), there are some parents who won't take the time to fill out a form even when they are personally called and offered assistance. Others don't qualify for free lunch and run up large balances because they know nothing will happen. There are also many who don't truly don't understand the forms and who need assistance in completing them - but that takes time and manpower as well which isn't funded through the lunch program.

The federal lunch program is filled with bureaucracy and wastes tons of money on bean-counters and paperwork. Lunch programs are not allowed to "write-off" bad debts and school systems get stuck with the bill- which has to come from somewhere. I have seen them make kids throw unopened cartons of milk away and go back and get food they don't plan to eat- because of bureaucratic rules.

I, personally would like to see all students, especially in elementary school, get a free lunch. Provide a basic meal to all students and eliminate the paperwork and everyone who deals with it and I bet you would almost break even.

Good luck to you Lyric in your studies,

[lumberjack_jeff]

151. The downside of that is that the low income childless buy rich kids lunch.

That won't go over well.

[ekwhite]

167. So?

Social Security works the same way. The rich get benefits, as well as the poor. Making school lunches universal actually makes it more likely that they will continue to be funded.

[Thothmes]

238. The rich pay into social security. It is not an entitlement

program. It is an insurance program. No pay in, no benefit out.

[Realityhack]

179. That is how republicans would spin it.

And a lot of ignorant people might agree. But in reality no such thing would happen.

The taxes would be disproportionately paid by the rich. The tax would likely be greater than independently buying just their kid lunch. So now they are paying for their own lunch plus some other kids lunch.

The low income aren't paying much and it goes to people who also aren't paying much along with some of the money from the rich. In the end the money is more accurately spent to feed another low income families children, the rich are still paying for themselves.

[Iwillnevergiveup]

148. Lyric, I mentioned in a related post yesterday

that I'm re-reading "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn." Was written in 1945 and tells the tales of immigrant families in the early 1900's. It is a beautifully crafted, descriptive book, but I've gotta say your post is equally humbling and poignant. And I thank you for it.

K&R

[TheMickster]

150. one of the reasons why

One of the reasons I love my daughters school is you cannot tell who gets free, reduced or has to pay for lunches. All the lunch cards are the same color for each grade. If I remember correctly the papers that were sent home said 65% of students recieve either reduced or free lunch and breakfast. The applications sent home are in english and spanish. We have a growing hispanic population in my area. And the school did an amazing job following up with parents to make sure the apps. were filled out for every student, not just those who thought they might qualify. There were quite a few families who didn't know they qualified for if not free than at least reduced lunches.

All schools should be as thorough.

edited to add: It was pointed out to me by a fellow mom from school that the follow ups were done by PTO volunteers.

[Ilsa]

152. Your story needs to be in Story Corps.

http://www.storycorps.net/

The stories i've heard on NPR's Morning Edition from Story Corps are the stories of real America. Maybe you should consider finding a way to get your story told.

I say this as a huge compliment. Yours is a moving story. It is worth hearing by millions of people, today and in the years to come. All of the stories will be archived in the Library of Congress.

[BrklynLiberal]

156. Excellent idea!

[quakerboy]

153. I would like to know

Exactly how much it would cost just to have lunch be a part of school? Not for poor or rich or this area or that, but just a part of every kids school? We pay for the books for the math class before the lunch period. We pay for the mixing bowls for home ec after lunch.

[AyanEva]

154. You know...

I was one of the people saying, "What's wrong with a cheese sandwich? Deal with it," more or less. But it's because I had to and I'm still a bit bitter about it, so I think mine was a knee jerk reaction that if I had to suffer, everyone else should too. Which, of course, is exactly the wrong thing to think but there it is. Pretty much the opposite of your reaction. It very nearly made me not finish reading your post as my irritation (and discomfort) level rose. Then it struck me that my somewhat cold reaction didn't really make very much sense at all because my story is very much like yours (and possibly worse, I think- mine involves religious cults), unfortunately. So I had to sit back and think about how I was reacting and why.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that you're right and your post made me stop and re-evaluate my position. But it just hurts to think that no one, not ONE single person stood up for my family and I when I was growing up and I suppose I'm a bit jealous and resentful that these families have someone standing up for them and people actually bother to care. The unfairness of it all makes me react like a five year old and lash out at times. :/ If that makes any sense. But it's weird because I only have this reaction sometimes and only on certain subjects. Subsidized meals just happened to be a trigger for whatever reason. idk I guess the thought of going hungry makes me angry and self-pitying or something. Most of the times, I'm one of the most empathetic people ever because of my past. I just have a lot of emotional scarring and it shows up at strange times and for strange reasons. And yes, I am in therapy trying to fix that. And yes, I did take my meds today.

Anyway, you're right and I apologize for my attitude in an earlier thread, even though I don't think I ever directly replied to you. Ugh. I hate admitting that I'm wrong but I'm pretty sure I AM wrong in this instance. So thanks for making me see it. :)

[rasputin1952]

202. I read your post with great interest, one of the reasons we discuss

these things is becuse we learn from them. Reading your post showed me much about you, and how you have learned to deal with things...compassion, empathy, those things that make us human are embedded in you precisely because you feel what others feel...and you refuse to tolerate the situtation.

Thank you for being you...becuse of this, this world is a better place...:hug:

[Barb in Atl]

234. Self-awareness is a blessing and curse.

But I wouldn't wanna live without it. Can't wait for MY next epiphany. How 'bout you?

Have a great day!

[Lyric]

239. It took a lot of courage to admit that here.

Thank you for it.

:hug:

[BrklynLiberal]

155. I would have sworn objections to free lunches for school kids would only be seen on that "other"

site, not here...on Democratic Underground.

I would prefer to believe that the objectors are just temporary trolls, here to disrupt.

:shrug:

[ColesCountyDem]

157. If we, as a society, cannot feed and otherwise nurture our children, then...

... what the hell is the point of ANYTHING we do, governmentally-speaking? You don't need to thank me or anyone else, although it was quite gracious of you to do so, because there but for the grace of God go I.

Good luck to you and yours!

:hug::hi:

[Mind_your_head]

158. So, "how can we help?" How can regular citizens help?

Can we call people who haven't filled out the forms? Offer to help them fill out the forms? Give me a list, I'll call. I'll help. Pack lunches and bring them to the school for those that don't have them? Ask/arrange that students who have perfectly good/unopened/eaten juice boxes/bananas/apples/oranges put them on a platter for others to take?

WHAT?

Methinks that there needs to be "grassroots" solutions to many of these 'problems'. These problems are NOT unsurmountable. They just need to be 'called out into the open' and then duly addressed with common sense and reason (and addressed by reasonable people who are anxious to solve problems....there are MANY of us who are capable....and 'newly unemployed' who would 'fit the bill').

Just ASK (tell us what you need us to do), Mr. Obama, Sir. <--------- :idea:

[Lyric]

159. Actually, I think those are good ideas.

It *would* help to form assistance groups that help fill out Free Lunch forms for those parents who can't seem to get it done themselves, for whatever reason. Bringing extra healthy sack lunches to school probably *would* be helpful; the problem with that is getting the school to tell you which kids need them. I suppose they could be set out and kids could get them on their own, but I'd fear that the kids who need them most would be last in the pecking order to claim them.

A more plausible idea is to start a reserve fund that is made up solely of donations from parents who want to help, and whenever a child needs a lunch but cannot pay, the fund takes care of the cost and sends a discreet letter home to Mom and Dad (along with a copy of the Free/Reduced price form) to tell them. That accomplishes many goals: it takes the responsibility and spotlight OFF of the innocent kids, it informs the parents, and it lets generous people feel the reward of helping a poor child have a decent meal.

I know this is right off of the top of my head, but it's a start. I'd bet that people would be more willing to donate to something like that, too, because it directly benefits innocent children. Everybody (well, almost everybody) likes to help kids.

Anybody care to discuss the plausibility of something like this?

[ekwhite]

161. K&R

I grew up poor in NC, not as poor as you describe, but what you describe fits my Aunt Martha's family to a tee. They lived in downtown Fayetteville, NC with their house heated by a potbelly stove used for heating and cooking, and no indoor plumbing. They had an outhouse as a restroom, and a well pump for water. Her husband, my Uncle Frank, worked hard every day at a mill, and she worked hard raising 4 children, cooking, and cleaning. Both of them were as honest as the day was long, and both were very religious. My Aunt Martha, God Bless Her, is doing a lot better on Social Security (at the age of 90) than she ever did before Uncle Frank died (he didn't live long enough to draw social security).

My cousins grew up to be good parents - they went to college and raised fine kids, who also did well. I trust you will do the same. In the meantime, some of us out here know what you are talking about.

[Brucie Kibbutz]

162. beautifully written post K&R

Looks like the DU CHEESE SANDWICH DEFENSE FORCE :patriot: is stepping up their patrols.

[orleans]

164. k&r i'm really sorry you had to go through all that.

i think part of the issue here is also some sort of bullying which needs to be addressed by the schools--no matter if it comes from other kids or from the adults/staff with attitudes directed toward some of the kids.

i spoke with my daughter about this tonight (she's a couple years out of high school). i know her group of friends came from various walks of life and some were far more financially advantaged than others. i asked her if she had ever heard of someone getting picked on or made fun of because of their economic status. thankfully no.

however, kids were given a hard time by other kids for various other reasons.

when she was in grade school everyone had to bring their own lunch--the school only provided milk. when someone turned up without theirs i also remember other kids and teachers sharing. i think the office/teacher's lounge kept misc. food on hand for that reason.

[JDPriestly]

168. Thanks for posting this. What a beautiful reminder of how good

the free lunch program is. We got really cheap lunches when we were kids, and lots of other children got free lunches. The food was good. It was freshly cooked at our school. School lunches are one of the most important programs we have.

[comtec]

171. *HUG* from a spec. ed kid

there is one class even lower than poor and fat, and that's spec. ed.
I was in because I had a tendency to beat the living crap out of kids that annoyed me.
I'm plenty smart and was always bored in classes - eventually I got to spend some time in 'normal' classes for math and english.

I worked the "kitchen" at my elementary school every chance I could so I could have a warm meal.
We were lower middle - my dad worked for the government.

Later I worked the kitchens in jr and sr high, more to get away from the other kids. But also so I could afford lunch.

I'm sympathetic to these kids, and I feel sad for teh people on here giving them and their families grief.

My family always made just too much to qualify for benefits. barely enough for 4, but not poor enuf for help. it was a strange situation, but we lived in the dounut hole my entire life.

i'm much more affluent now, but I'd never deny those kids a lunch. I agree with someone who posted somewhere else, that lunch should be considered a part of school, since they cna't go home during it anyway.

Kids whose families can pay, pay, the rest don't. But lunch should be paid for for every child, point, out.

[Brazenly Liberal]

172. Are you kidding?

The kids who get a free lunch are getting a DIFFERENT lunch? Fercryinoutloud, why doesn't the school just paint a freaking target on their backs and have done with it? We were poor as children. Our father died when we were small and opportunities for women in those days were limited. Affordable child care was nonexistent. We got free lunches, too, but it was the SAME lunch other kids had. (We were still ridiculed because we would be given "poor boxes" in view of the class, but I think that was the result of good intentions gone awry)

Every word you say is true. Poor children ARE tormented and it is so cruel and so unfair. My heart goes out to your son - and to you because I know how hard it must be for you to see it happen.

BUT - I've never met you, but I am still proud of you. My sisters and I travelled a road very similar to yours, but we were fortunate to do it in a big city at a time when there were some good resources for women trying to improve their lot. Anyone who is asshole enough to begrudge you what little assistance you get is obviously also too damned ignorant just how little help that is these days.

We pay considerable taxes now and I'm very happy to know some small portion of it is helping you and your family make a better future. I wish I could take all of the portion spent on insane wars and give that to you, too. Investing in its citizens is the best and some of the most important work government does. I wish you all the best!

[LeftCoastNinja]

173. Anytime

I would rather give my earned tax dollars to those in need, especially fellow Americans. It sure beats paying for bombs that leave hundreds of thousands dead and homeless. As a Native American I understand if not know your plight completely. The good news is my grandfather is an veteran Airmen and my Father made a great life for me and my brother, but I have been to reservations and we have donated food and other supplies during ceremonial gatherings. Never once would we allow such insolence such as letting someone go without food. I don't mind paying taxes to help those in need, I myself being young would love a better health care system, and anytime I feel a fellow American is the better for it, it makes me better for it. Peace.

[democrank]

174. Bless you, Lyric.

Been there. I begged door to door for food for my younger brothers and sisters when I was eight and if it wasn`t for a teacher sending me into the class broom closet to eat free graham crackers at recess, I would have starved. Neither of my parents would have ever bothered to sign anything to help us kids get a meal at school. Some kids go through hell. That`s why I`ll help out a child in need until the day I die.

Bless you again, Lyric.

[Mnemosyne]

175. Error: You've already recommended that thread.

Thank you Lyric. :hug:

My daughter was basically run out of school at 14 by the viciousness and cruelty, because she didn't have the 'right' clothes/shoes or shop at the 'right' stores. It broke my heart to pieces.

She grew up to have a very compassionate heart and I couldn't be prouder of her. :)

I wish you peace and great fortune in your life. :hug:

[BlueCollar]

176. No flame from me...

What a great post.

Thankyou.

[hobbit709]

177. My wife works at a charter school for at risk students

She's the "Lunch Lady" and you wouldn't believe the hoops she has to jump through for the USDA. She feeds them all regardless of what their paperwork status is. The leftover food is REQUIRED to be tossed. She makes up plates for some of the kids to take home so that their families can get a meal. Of course, on paper, the food was trashed. She has her own version of "Don't ask, don't tell". Technically if the government found out they would have a holy cow but what they don't know won't hurt them. After 20 years she's gotten good at pencil whipping the paperwork to make it look right.

[aikoaiko]

180. There is nothing stopping school districts from providing means to all kids

Its just a matter of taxes.

And posts like your make me think they should.

[Triana]

183. keep speaking out. keep writing. keep going. you have a bright future!

Like someone else here said - you just paid some of it forward and I have no doubt that you will continue to do so.

bytheway, have you considered sending this story to the White House? I don't think that contact thing at whitehouse.gov takes more than a certain number of words but if you can get it written or printed somewhere, get a stamp and an envelope - and send it to President Obama (and tell him to show it to congress!) that would be awesome. They NEED to see stories like this. They live in such a bubble up there (not Obama so much, because he refuses to) - but Congress does - they really need to see this.

[RayOfHope]

184. This is a good post. Thankfully, at my school the free/reduced kids have the same

lunch card as everyone else. Its a plastic card with a barcode that the lunch cashier scans. She is the only one who knows--they aren't even allowed to tell classroom teachers, although we often know. We respect the fact that is not really any of our business. They also get the very same lunch as everyone else. Its when kids fall behind in lunch debt--those who either haven't filled out the free/reduced paperwork or who don't qualify that get the alternate meal. I can't tell you how much it pains school staff to put the kids on "Tiger Meals" and 99% of the time we teachers chip in so the student can get the regular meal. Luckily its pretty easy to qualify in our state--when I stayed home with our 2 kids and my husband was working (teaching, how ironic), we qualified.

I agree--we need to let our representatives know that new policies need to be put into place.

[itubeutubewealltub]

185. Compelling post...Your writing skills are wonderful! You do know, though,

that the story in NM involves those who DO have money? And you must understand that all situations are not of the dirt-poor variety. I, too, come from a lower middle class family (strictly in terms of income, I should add) and got teased for my clothes. However, I also believe that some people do not act as responsibly as they should, regarding keeping up with their kids' lunch tabs.

[mntleo2]

186. How to be an activist for your son and all poor:

The desperation is just beginning. I wonder how many people on this board know that they are next ...I hope they know they have a place to come and talk with us. Check out the Poverty forum on DU and please know there are those of us who really know what it is like as we are living it or have lived it. We may not be able to give you money, but we can give you a deeply sympathetic ear as well as maybe even tips as to how to navigate the System and find what you need for yourself and for the kids if you have them. Feel free to PM me if you need to talk.

Also there are some activists trying to bring attention to poverty and its issues here on DU, in our communities, and wherever we can to improve access to housing, food and financial help. I can tell you from personal experience, there is another way to feel rich: Be aware of the legislation that is happening in your state and nation. Make an appointment and then talk to your legislators. If they are one of the rich, make sure to bring some friends along who are in similar straits and insist that you all tell your stories. Tell them why the legislation will help or hurt you ~ and them make sure to inform them you are just one of MILLIONS, your story is not the only one. I am not saying this is magic and they will immediately change heart and pass things, but let me tell you, they WILL have to listen. You do not have to be a voter or even a citizen to go and talk to them, but it helps to be both as you can also tell them your vote will reflect what they do, that you are watching them and that you will make sure to tell other voters what their representatives said and what they do.

LOL! Let me tell you a story about our new Commerce Secretary, Gary Locke:

One year when he was governor, a bunch of low income and welfare moms of all races and creeds and our advocates, we marched through Olympia and then rallied on our state capitol steps. Our signs and chants said, "NO MORE WAR - ON THE POOR!" We went into the governor's office and his stern-faced secretary sat calmly as we brought our letters and asked to visit with him and tell him our stories. I was standing to the side of the office with a friend as the secretary told us the governor was VERY busy and could not possibly meet with us ~ even though he was told weeks ahead of time we were coming and that there would be a rally. Out of the corner of my eye I saw some activity in the back of the office, and I kid you not, my friend and I saw Governor Locke running from the office on tiptoe to get away from us.

What that incident told me was, they are often polite, they are often silent, they are often patronizing, but seeing the true faces of poverty scares the crap out of them because suddenly we are no longer stereotypes, we are citizens with faces and names and their decisions affect our families. If you keep coming and keep telling your stories over and over, there comes a time as the numbers swell, they cannot ignore you.

It is true what Gandhi said, "First they ignore you. Then they ridicule you. Then they hurt you. Then you win ..." We poor are coming past the "hurting" part of protest. We are now close to the win. Raise your voice and tell the world that you are not afraid of the government or ashamed that you are poor because poverty is actually beneficial to the rich ~ and the government officials and rich, they pretend not to "notice" but in reality, they know it. Make sure to be aware of the following for your own personal knowledge in order to help you realize how true it is that your situation is actually beneficial to the rich and they WANT you blame yourself and feel ashamed as well as sell their lies to the middle class to blame you for your situation. Show to all the systematic side of poverty that benefits the rich ~ and that the poor pay more taxes than the rich ever thought of paying nationwide. Never again say that you "don't pay taxes" because you actually pay more out of your meager income that would make the rich squeal like stuck pigs if they had to pay as much ~ and believe me they would have a whole lot more to live off than you do for what you pay!

Never forget and I know this sounds like a class war thing, but in truth the poor did not declare this war, the rich did about 30 years ago: Poverty is a systematic, racist, sexist System that wants you to remain poor so you can further assist the wealthy!


Love

Cat In Seattle

[SlicerDicer-]

187. I have heard too many stories of this "pink card" etc

When I was a kid everybody had a 4 digit pin.. It was either your parents payed ahead or you had free lunch. Anyway nobody knew the difference it was neat.. That has got to change.

[mod mom]

188. Thank you for sharing this.

I am sharing this with my children ages 11 and 12 yo. They go to a school located in an area so diverse economically that there are multimillion $ dollar homes as well a low rent subsidized housing apartments. I've worked on social justice issues since they were born, so I've always attempted to teach them to be respectful of others who may live differently than they do. I hope your writing will help put this issue in perspective for them. I appreciate you sharing this with others.

[mrbarber]

192. Yet we send 900 MILLION to Israel...

For Gaza "reconstruction"

Not to mention all the billions were throwing into the Iraq war.

Boggles the mind and boils the blood.

[BlancheSplanchnik]

193. such a very very powerful essay. I'd love to see this published elsewhere.

You could do alot of good by getting this around.

bookmarking as an example of an important issue (well, actually, there are a number of important issues addressed here) and excellent writing.

On a personal level, I identified completely with your description of clinical depression and suicidal tendencies at age 12. I do know how cruel kids can be, and that's one reason I decided long ago never to have any.

[Mrs. Overall]

196. Yes, this should be published where it can be widely read. Very well written--

what is expressed in this post is both the heart and mind of the issue, not just of free lunches, but of the pervasive poverty in this country that the majority of us simply ignore.

Thank you, Lyric, for taking the time to so eloquently explain your situation.

[lonestarnot]

194. Here is to making sure my tax money goes to free lunch for kids!

I can't think of a better thing for it to do, but FEED CHILDREN! :loveya: :hug:

[Veritas_et_Aequitas]

195. K&R

[Bozita]

198. A big K&R

[Lateedee]

199. Thanks for sharing...

your story. All too often we forget how it was for someone else. I grew up in WV in a small town, my granny was a school teacher and my mother worked any job she could get and went to college so she could eventually get a better paying job, my father was non-existent except for the child support he sent every month for $150.00 for three kids. My gran was also raising my older cousin. She and mom were both too proud to accept food stamps, welfare or medical help... so we basically made do with whatever they could find. Often it was tomato soup (with no milk) or a peanut butter, cheese or whatever kinda sandwich, if we were lucky. I feel I was blessed when my own kids got into school and we got reduce and/or free lunch. When I could afford to give them the money to have a breakfast or lunch as school it was an awesome feeling. I was emotionally overwhelmed when my oldest daughter came home from school one day starving because she had given her lunch money to another student who didn't have any money for a meal. She would tell me "mama they didn't even have dinner last night, how could I eat when they couldn't?" I get so angry when the "powers that be" in Washington get a bone up their butts about free anything to our american people. If I am paying some of the taxes that provide these services then what is the problem? I don't have a problem helping someone that needs the help. A hungry child is not learning and if they aren't learning then what possible future benefit are they to us or our nation? Then can not strive to be great when they are worried about the rumbles and hunger pains in their tummy's. When congress gives up some of their paycheck (that our taxes pay for) and a few benefits (that our taxes pay for) in order for "We the People" to have a better life then I will give a dang about them... in the meantime I work toward whatever benefits our youth, our elderly and the hardworking american families that are the backbone of this once great nation. Again, thanks for sharing your story, it just reinforced what I know to be the decent thing to do!

[Pierre.Suave]

201. Lyric, if I could I would give you a big hug

This will have to do. :hug:

give one to your family members too. I really wish I could help everyone out and get this country as a whole on the path to being kind to each other instead of cruel to each other.

[WillyT]

205. Me Too !!! - K & R !!!

:grouphug:

:kick:

[OmmmSweetOmmm]

207. You have me in tears here. Thank you so much for your eloquence. The lack of compassion by some DU

members has been appalling and I hope this will help to enlighten some of them.

I've been blessed so far not to know hunger. Times are tight for me right now but so far removed from what you live through and I wish you and your child all the best, always and in all ways.

Peace.

[WestSeattle2]

210. Very well written!

You have a gift for writing. Most Americans cannot fathom the extreme poverty that exists in parts of this country. Truly, it's unimaginable that such poverty exists in a country as wealthy as ours. For many Americans, "poverty" is defined as not being able to afford a new 42" LCD HDTV. For many other Americans, poverty is described exactly like you wrote, and in many cases, much worse.

[knitter4democracy]

213. I will never forget a new kid I helped out in high school.

She was a transfer from a richer school district, and since I was Student Senate President, it was my job to help her get used to the school and find her classes and all for the first couple of days. On the first day, she said she had to stop by the office before lunch (we had the same lunch, so I was with her) and that she didn't want me coming in with her. I had to stop by to get something and so told her it was no big deal, that I had to go there anyway. I was a doofus and didn't get the hint, and she about died in asking for the free lunch form while I dropped off a couple of things and looked over some paperwork that I had to sign off of for Homecoming coming up.

She couldn't even look at me and tried to hide the form, so I told her that it was no big deal, that we had a huge percentage of the student body on free or subsidized lunch and that it wasn't anything to be ashamed about. That's when she started telling me what the kids in her old school used to do. I was horrified. I had never seen anything that blatant in our school. We had kids who didn't have indoor plumbing and lived in broken-down trailers out in the country, some with only dirt floors. I knew they were picked on, but I had never heard of the kind of cruelty she told me about on our way to the lunch line. I paid for her lunch that day and stood with her in line for a few days until she realized no one would make fun of her. I often kept an eye on her after that, just to make sure no one was messing with her.

Poor kids have it hard enough--often hard to do your homework with no heat or electricity or water to wash your hands. Hard to read when there are no books and there's no such thing as a ride to the library or a bookmobile that far out in the country. Hard not to be upset when a kid pulls a prank that ruins your only outfit for school that you have to wear every day and can only wash on the weekends when your family makes the trip into town. Free lunch is the least the schools can do to help out.

[lsewpershad]

216. With so many

stories like this it becomes more and more difficult to accept that our's is the richest most powerful country in the world. It's time we do some real soul searching.

[greymattermom]

217. bullying

I have no experience with poverty but have seen the worst of the bullying kids, especially in middle school. Isn't there something the schools or parents can do about this? This happens to everyone who is the slightest bit different, not just poor kids. Ask all the geeks and artists.

[prayin4rain]

220. Nice post.

:hug:

[QueenOfCalifornia]

221. Dear Lyric,

I cried while reading your beautiful and moving OP. I never went without food and never knew what it was like to walk in your shoes. My 2 children attend a public school in a poor area where we live. We live down the hill from the school in a new home development where the homes sell for 3/4 of a million dollars and hardly any of the people in our small enclave send their kids to the local, old, outdated public school. There are kids who eat next to mine who get the free lunches and breakfasts you describe. No one makes fun of these kids now, it is not tolerated. I send extras with my children's lunches to "share" with some of the kids who my kids have determined to be hungry from not getting a breakfast half the time. There are several of these poor little angels who look forward to an extra sandwich and some cookies and fruit that my kids share - My little girl is so sweet and she wants to make sure no one feels bad so she asks me to put extras in for her friends who seem so hungry. We have children who are bussed from the border whose parents speak little or no english and they come to school with a cold tortilla smeared with margarine and a little bit of rice and beans. Their clothes are second and third hand-me-downs and some wear the clothes they slept in the night before. We also have several children of the Katrina hurricane who were flown here by a wealthy business man who chartered a passenger jet to fly people out of the disaster. These kids literally had nothing when they arrived but were taken in by local families - we all donated clothes, toys and computers and the result is fantastic - the Katrina kids have thrived and love their new home here. People should never turn their backs on people who have less - It saddened me to read how you were treated by the mean kids - Now, here there is a zero tolerance when it comes to bullying. Sure, some nasty treatment sneaks through but it is so frowned on that the bullies are called out by their peers immediately.

I recommended your post.

Finally - I wish all the tax money that has gone to fuel the illegal war in Iraq could have been given to programs which benefit education and food programs.

Peace to you Lyric. If you ever come to CA - I would be honored to meet you.

[Chorophyll]

224. K&R.

Thank you for telling your story. I'm shocked and appalled by the ignorance and hatred some DUers have been displaying toward poor people this week.

No child should ever go hungry; no child should be subject to humiliation. Schools should be a safe haven for all our children. I'm willing to pay for that. So should anyone who considers him or herself a Democrat.

:hug:

[Barb in Atl]

226. I received free lunch as a kid, too

and it was no big deal, then. Pretty much everybody in my school did. I don't remember it being an issue. Now, having been laid off, I filled out a free lunch form for my son and it just about frickin' killed me. Not for any reason other than for his entire life I've been able to take care of us, and now I can't without assistance.

I fully concur with your basic statement - kids should be fed. They should not be singled out, humiliated because their parents didn't do one thing or the other. For all we know, A COUPLE of those parents may just be assholes and don't care if the kids eat or not. Or maybe the parents are like me, initially not sure you CAN apply for free lunch in the middle of the year. Or, again like me, just hate the thought that the situation has called for having to ask for help.

Truly, it sucks. But it has nothing, NOTHING to do with whether a kid should eat.

(And best of luck to you, Lyric, on your education)

[Gormy Cuss]

241. Barb, taking help when your family needs it shouldn't suck like that.

At least you're one of the ones who understands that there's no shame for the child getting a free or reduced price meal.
I know it's hard to ask for help, but the help is there for a good reason. There is no shame in getting a better meal for your child. It made one of my sisters conflicted when she had to use a food aid program for a couple of years but the reality is her children were better off with it and her pride had to go to the back burner.

I wish that we lived in a country where government assistance wasn't viewed as a moral failing. Most of us don't benefit directly from any part of that dole, but we benefit indirectly by knowing that fewer people are subsisting on less than a nutritious diet. As I wrote in another thread, I have no issues with my tax dollars being spent this way. I want all our children to come to school focused on learning rather than worrying about their next meal.

[Barb in Atl]

242. Thanks, Gormy (nt)

[Solly Mack]

227. Thank you

[Rosa Luxemburg]

231. they think it's OK for millionaires to get hand outs but not the poor

[Burma Jones]

235. It takes a lot of energy to be poor

I'm not being facetious when I say this.

[Profprileasn]

240. Wow

So very sorry your experiance with the school lunch program was like this. I worked in a cafeteria and the kids had ID numbers. We could tell what they were paying as cashiers and were told to never make any comments regarding whether the child was getting a free lunch or not. Nothing like that ever happened where I worked.