You can all relax...we're fighting terrorism in Ankeny, Iowa!

[CoffeeCat]

Just in case you were all worried about national security--and the possibility of bloodthirsty
terrorists rising up from the bowels of Ankeny, Iowa--I thought I would provide this most excellent
news.

This was reported in our local 18-page weekly newspaper, The Ankeny Press Citizen:

------------------------------------------
EQUIPMENT GRANT
The Ankeny Police Department has received
a MX-2 handheld thermal imager from the
Department of Homeland Security's Commercial
Equipment Direct Assistance Program.

CEDAP provides smaller law enforcement and
emergency responder agencies with equipment
items to enhance and support regional
response efforts and the interoperability of
responder communications equipment. Grant
recipients are required to attend a training
session to receive their equipment.
----------------------------------------------

I did a bit of research on these handheld thermal imagers and I found this quote
from in Captain JD Yeager of Valdosta, "...with this equipment we can hunt anything with a temperature to it."

Wow. I'm so glad that our "Department of Homeland Security" is distributing devices that allow
law enforcement to detect human movement inside a house---from the street. So the next time you're worried
about terrorists, rest easy and remember that in Ankeny, Iowa--the police will be able to watch me make
a cheese sandwich in my kitchen--from the comfort of their police car parked in front of my house.

:eyes:

[Cobalt-60]

1. gee, that should be useful for catching George and Violet

making out in the wheat field.

[MnFats]

2. D'ya think the editor did much editing?

I hate small papers that take whatever they're handed.
Do some WORK, f'chrissakes! Be a journalist!

[Raven]

3. OMG! I'm so relieved! I was really worried about Ankeny! n/t

[sarge43]

4. You all are so lucky out there in Ankeny Iowa

All we have here in Thornton NH is Abby and Becky, the Gore Road Hore sisters. They do an excellent job of spotting church attendance or lack thereof, drinking, heavy petting sessions at the KOA camp grounds between seasons, dump rat shoots and the shocking absence of decorum among the young folk. However, they're not so good at detecting overheated terrorists lurking about in the sumac.

[Bluzmann57]

5. Good! Next time I pass by Ankeny

on the way to Des Moines, I will certainly feel so much safer. We certainly can't have terrorists going to Ankeny and raising hell now, can we?

[arcane1]

6. all the better to bust pot-growers with

"security" my ass!

[AnnInLa]

7. Never knew that your town had a big bulls-eye

painted on its water tower? Maybe the FBI will come infiltrate your local knitting group....looking for homegrown terrorists.