The Worst Addiction

[yoyossarian]

I wrote a rather lengthy two-part article some 5 or more years ago on the Worst Addiction Known to Man; it seems more apropos than ever of late... here are some excerpts:

We in America, those of us 37 or older anyway, are all aware of the old maxim that too much of a good thing is almost always a bad thing, that no matter how wonderful or desirable the temptation may be, too much of it always results in terribly destructive consequences. For the most part, we humans understand this as a universal truth, from which no desire is exempt.

All but one.

If you run too much you get shin splints. If you sit too much you get a rare ass virus. If you talk too much, and are a Republican, you get your own radio talk show--which is great for you, but terribly destructive of culture generally.

If you have too much sex, amazing earth-shaking sex with the hottest babes, day in and day out, everyone will hate your guts-- but this one really doesn't count, cuz you'd never give it a second thought, now would you?

We know this stuff, we all understand it. Too much of a good thing. Any good thing, always. Anything at all.

Anything but power.

We all recognize the need for those limits, everytime.

Except when it comes to the Worst Addiction. The Greatest Addiction.

The dirtiest little secret of them all.

Thru the nineties, as I watched Bill Gates climbing to the dizzying heights of 60+ billion dollars, I seemed to be the only one concerned about this up-til-then truly mythic concentration of wealth in the hands of a single human being... it was at least ten times anything seen previously, and I feared, not without reason I think, that the precedent this single event established was the beginning of the end for our global economic system and a speedy return to a New Dark Ages that will make the old Dark Ages look, well... old... old and tired and not terribly creative, really...

Imagine for a moment being one of the super-rich, living safe and secure in your ivory tower, balancing your relationships with your enemies and your allies, experiencing the ebb and flow of everyday living as we all do, but feeling for the most part fine and fat and happy and not terribly concerned for the future, which seems like a constant promise, an ever-brightly-shining beacon of hope... when suddenly, upon a darkening horizon arises a new behemoth, a living nightmare of such size and fury that it casts an immense shadow over all before it, blotting out the once-warm sun... all view this new god with slack-jawed awe, and in that moment of helpless terror and sudden confrontation with that which is not truly the unknown, but certainly more foreign to this group than most, every incredibly rich person, habituated over long years to always feeling powerful and confident and ever at the advantage, is immediately reduced to a tiny, squalling, helpless infant...

And this is why today every insanely rich person in the world feels that they MUST attain at least some similar level of personal wealth as Gates, or they will NEVER feel safe and secure again.



Which is why, I guess, corporate bigwigs everywhere have been firing hundreds of thousands of people in droves, and giving themselves fat raises while they're at it, ever since Bush & Co. started that squatting thing they've been doing up there on PA Ave...

I personally believe we hit the tipping point sometime early in the decade... I believe this partially because I am one of those low-power pawn pieces that gets swept off the board first; I've already tumbled into oblivion, I've been freefalling for years now, and I'm STILL trying to figure out how to halt this insanity...

But it seems pretty pointless arguing with these guys, given we're dealing with the Worst Addiction here... ever try talking sense to a drunk?

And how can we expect ANYONE at these levels to manage ANY semblance of good or reasonable judgement, when those who are actively shaping world policy and designing the future we will all have to live in are, to the last man, ALL as drunk as Siren-struck sailors, giggling and plastered on the Wine of the Gods, experiencing a reality as foreign to most of us as the world of The Matrix, unable to mentally conceive of or even physically count anywhere near the very numbers that measure those insane disproportions that divide Them from Us? How can you expect anyone as rich as Bill Gates to NOT go insane with power eventually, when he's like a tiny little man no bigger than an inch tall strapped into the driver's seat of a fully-fueled 747, and though he can't reach the controls he's got a little remote unit, but he can't see where he's going at all... AND he's doing EVERYTHING else too, all of it 'way too much, cuz he can afford to, man... and ALL AT ONCE, he's mixin' EVERYTHING together and ridin' the peak of this crazed and dizzying experience like the furious hurricane of blind fortune that it is, and his ego keeps telling him, "It's ok, Bill... God is your copilot!"... cuz he's always been the lucky type, y'know?

God save us from these creatures.

Mr. Gates, it's nothin' personal... this is really to ALL you billionaires everywhere, you sick sick puppies you, and I'm tellin' ya for your own good... that's just too much shit to expect ANYONE to keep together.

The article was published in a small alt newsweekly in Duluth, MN. Didn't seem to make much difference or open any eyes. The full text is now archived in my old President Evil Online site:

The Worst Addiction

I STILL don't know what to do... but I've gotten really good at freefalling, anyway...



Laugh City!

President Evil Online has risen from the grave!

[sui generis]

1. wow. have you stopped beating your wife?

see the premise is all or nothing here.

In fact, the American dream is about financial success, mostly. It's not an addiction, it's a goal, but according to the OP author it's crazed and dizzying and like talking to a drunk, especially anyone who disagrees.

The fact is if you live long enough even a miserly compound interest will make you a brazillionaire. Oh but that's CRAZY and dizzying.

But Gates has given billions of dollars to every conceivable charitable organization, more so than any pope or or charlatan of faith. This isn't about "addiction" or, incidentally about beating wives.

The OP author needs an enemy, and once again the evil rich are a ripe target - this is absolutely adolescent. The pope is pretty rich. Why not pick on the pope? Here, let's go a little Ayn Rand for moment: suppose Bill Gates sold all his stock and assets except for enough to get by and feed his cat.

Do you know how many people would lose their jobs as the stock market went into freefall? Technically, I am all for the government forcing evil rich bastards to give up all their money for the sin of being rich. Finally we would have oppressed rich people trying to take over government and change the rules instead of oppressed lazy bastard poor people (hey the stereotypes need to be applied with equal candor), and crowd out the poor oppressed fundamentalist christians who are being FORCED to endure the existence of teh gays and teh atheists.

oh what a world what a world

[yoyossarian]

3. Wow! Addiction... meet Denial!

It's apparent you didn't read the entire article, or didn't think very critically when doing so... because if you had, you'd know that I'm not advocating tearing down the temple walls at all, but instead of making some structural improvements which might actually allow it to remain standing for a bit more than the pitiful 200 or so years we've managed so far...
Pitiful in terms of an empire, which is what we are, after all...
I'm advocating some basically sound, sane, COOL RULES for the sustained growth of this empire.
I'd prefer that, to seeing it snuff itself out simply because it had no perceivable sense of MEASURE.

No one here is trying to take away your extensive collection of hand-painted Faberge frogs, babycakes.

Oh, and per your request, here is a pic of the pope, who I also like to pick on when I'm in the mood:





Great gift tee shirts, mugs, buttons and other cool stuff at


Laugh City!

President Evil Online has risen from the grave!

[sui generis]

4. addiction, resurrection, denial, resurrection, nazi popes and faberge frogs

Sometimes you are so clever even I can't keep up.

[yoyossarian]

5. Don't try then, ducky.

Just relax and enjoy your feigned smug indifference.

I mean, you're right, essentially; there's NOTHING wrong with this system of ours,
no adjustments necessary, everything's going just fine, right?

The widening of the income gap between super-rich and everyone else is a GOOD thing--
this is obvious, the current financial crisis its placing us all in will chop out all
the bad, dead wood. It's Darwin, it's science; it's Adam Smith's invisible hand as
a taloned claw that only kills lazy good-for-nothings.

You don't know me, but you know I must be one of those lazy people who deserves
everything he gets--and though I'm not even a guy, I must agree that yes, you've
got me there, I SHOULD die so that others may live without limits of any sort...
actually, a whole hell of a LOT of us should die so that some may attain demi-godhood,
it's natures way, you bet...

And everyone who can, SHOULD eat til they explode... and people should be free to
drink and drive and eat and fuck and text-message their friends, all at the same time,
if they can AFFORD to...

Why not? Why the hell not?


The Obama admin just raised the min wage... This is a nice little
incremental step for Obama, and I hope that other things work to support
a return to balance here in the states...
I find it extremely ironic that class warfare is actively destroying this
country; and every attempt to stop this horrible business is met with cries
of "Class Warfare!"

You really don't sound like much of a liberal dem, sui...
You sound more like Ronald Reagan posting under an alias.





Great gift tee shirts, mugs, buttons and other cool stuff at


Laugh City!

President Evil Online has risen from the grave!

[dajoki]

2. K&R

[yoyossarian]

6. Thanx!

:toast: