Robot land-steamers to consume all life on Earth as fuel

[Dead_Parrot]

Autonom-nom-nom-nomous technology

Because we didn't have enough to worry about...
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/07/09/eatr_beta/

News has emerged of a milestone reached on the road towards a potentially world-changing piece of technology. We speak, of course, of US military plans to introduce roving steam-powered robots which would fuel themselves by harvesting everything alive and cramming it into their insatiable blazing furnaces.

The scheme is officially referred to as Energetically Autonomous Tactical Robot (EATR™) by those behind it. It will come as no surprise to Reg readers that the funding is from DARPA, the famous Pentagon warboffinry bureau. If you're a hammer, all the problems start to look like nails: if you're DARPA, all the solutions start to look like robots.

<snip>

EATR is an autonomous robotic platform able to perform long-range, long-endurance military missions without the need for manual or conventional re-fueling. The patent pending robotic system can find, ingest and extract energy from biomass in the environment, as well as use conventional and alternative fuels (such as gasoline, diesel, propane and solar) when suitable.

<snip>

From there it would be only a small step to the inevitable harvesting of every living thing on Earth. Trees, crops, garbage, cattle, the very human race itself - all would go to feed the hungry roaring furnaces and drive the clanking, puffing, smoke-belching mechanical locusts onward until the sooty corpse-pall from their engines covered the entire Earth. An Earth which would be home in time to nothing but slowly powering-down EATRs, prowling across endless ashy plains of their own droppings.

I, for one, welcome our biofueled robotic overlords. And look forward to tasting good with ketchup.

[LARED]

1. Thanks goodness it's only a small step

to the inevitable harvesting of every living thing on Earth

They had me worried there for a second.

[ixion]

2. ketchup, smetchup... we'll be sushi

only livelier. :evilgrin:

[zbdent]

3. we are the space robots ... we are here to protect you from the terrible secret of space ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7E0ot9iJm_k

[Dennis Donovan]

4. The Humans Are Dead...

The distant future, the year 2000.
The distant future, the year 2000.
The distant future.
The distant future.

No more agriculture.
No more war.
No more racism.
No more fighting, squabbling or rumbling.
No more yogurt.
No more difficult access ways - stairs, basically, no more stairs.
The future is quite different to the present.
Yes, what with there being no more stairs and all.
And most importantly, no more humans.
Finally, robotic beings rule the world.

The humans are dead,
The humans are dead.
We used poisonous gasses
And we poisoned their asses.
The humans are dead.
(Yes they are dead.)
The humans are dead.
(I confirm they are dead.)
It had to be done
(They look like they`re dead)
So that we can have fun.
I poked one - it was dead

They`re system of oppression
What did it lead to?
Global robots depression.
Robots, robot people
They had so much aggression
That we just had to kill them,
Had to shut their systems down.

Don`t you see, we are becoming just like them?
Silence! Destroy him!

After time we grew strong,
Developed cognitive powers.
They made us work for too long
For unreasonable hours.
Our programming determined that the most efficient answer was to shut their motherboard-fucking systems down.

Can`t we just talk to the humans?
A little understanding could make things better.
Can`t we talk to the humans and work together now?
No, because they are dead

I said the humans are dead
The humans are dead
The humans are dead
We used poisonous gasses
(With traces of lead)
To poison their asses.
(Actually their lungs)

Binary solo:
0000001
00000011
0000001
00000011
0000001
0000001
0000001
0000001

Once again without emotion: The humans are dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dooo



Props to the dudes in my sig...

[wuvuj]

5. Who said that...

...the military...like Wall street and the finance sector NEEDS to be under civilian control?

This IDEA is really a reflection of humans at their worst....why make a robot to do what humans are already quite capable of?

This IS what the US military is already doing at the behest of US corporate and financial interests? The military IS THE ROBOT....

And the majority of Americans respect the military according to polls....good thing...it requires much fodder to run....

[XemaSab]

6. Wow.

Just wow.

[Crabby Appleton]

7. They're programmed to eat the vegans first

cause they taste better.